Dear Christmas Magic,
I remember the way you use to tingle up my spine and flutter like a snowflake flurry in the middle of my belly. So much wonder. Excitement. Delight.
How you were there every year when we piled in the car and drove down the boulevard to the family-owned corner lot that sprung to life with perfect pines each cold December — or Southern California warm winter, as the case often was. We strolled down rows of Douglas Firs because my sisters liked the way they looked and Mom liked the way they were priced. But my eyes danced to the majestic Blue Spruce with its strong branches and thick blue-green needles.
In the end, there’d be a tree tied on the roof rack and four off-key singers belting out carols (give or take one backseat sulker) and off we’d go . . . back home for the trimming.
Mom would bring out metal trays for the ornaments, each carefully placed as we unwrapped them one by one from crinkled tissue paper and reused bubble wrap. Once every mismatched, memory-rich treasure was tray displayed, it was time for the hanging!
You know the red metal tricycle and gilded angel girl were my favorites.
Then, dear Magic, you’d croon to us through Harry Connick Jr.’s melodic voice singing lyrics we all knew by heart while we sat cross-legged in couch corners threading long silver needles, waiting for Mom to bring us bowls of stale popcorn for stringing.
I’d get lost in the fireplace flicker and real-wood crackle and inevitably pop handfuls of the stale white snack into my mouth without thinking. It’d squish foamy against my teeth and I’d chew and swallow anyway.
Oh, Christmas Magic, you even made old popcorn taste great.
But you didn’t just arrive for the tree trimming tradition and vanish when the decorating was done. No, you were a faithful friend throughout the Christmas season.
I saw you in the spiral peels of green apple skins falling into piles of wonder while their insides got mixed with generous helpings of cinnamon, butter, and sugar for mom’s famous apple pie.
I heard you in the raindrops that pelted rooftops, giving hope that winter and the need for scarves and mittens could be real.
I felt you in the pa rum pum pum thrumming in my chest, my favorite Christmas song on repeat.
You were there when I spent all my piggy bank savings to buy my big sister a pair of American flag Converse hightops at the height of her sneaker obsession. You watched me beam with pride as I handed over my most prized giving gift and you reveled with me when she showed equal delight.
You were there in the steam escaping from thermoses filled with hot chocolate, like a swirling mist keeping careful watch over liquid dessert slowly sipped, guarding our search for the most spectacular displays of Christmas lights.
Oh, the lights!
Yes, the light.
Perhaps your magic was never so real as on Christmas Eve when the church sanctuary illuminated by nothing save for candlelight. When hundreds of Christmas sweater-clad friends and neighbors and strangers would stand shoulder to shoulder each bearing a single white wax-dripping candle. And as faces glowed warm, our hearts overflowed and voices rang out in reverent adoration.
Joyful praise . . .
Silent night! Holy night!
Son of God love’s pure light
Radiant beams from thy holy face
With the dawn of redeeming grace,
Jesus, Lord at thy birth
Jesus, Lord at thy birth
Over the years the anxious excitement and nervous tummy tickles have faded. No sleep is lost on Christmas Eve. No wondering what presents will lie beneath the tree.
I’m all grown and your magic once so strong has faded with each passing year. Even with kids of my own, the season’s sparkle doesn’t shine as bright as memories gone by.
Yes, there is joy in their joy!
The way my boys lay belly down, faces cupped in tiny hands, mesmerized by evening fire flickers. I delight in their backseat squeals at even the meekest array of house-strung lights. I love the way they stroke the satin stitching and fuzzy ribbon on their mantel-hung stockings when they think I’m not looking. But even so . . .
Even so, it’s hard to feel today the swirl and whirl and magic wonder that I did as a child.
I’m so keenly aware of the weary world and heavy-laden by the burdens of those I love. Weighed down by the brokenness of children everywhere, young and old alike.
Yet, perhaps, dear Christmas Magic, your glitz and glimmer aren’t meant to be sustained. Perhaps your glitter is a special, fleeting, children’s gift that prepares the way for hearts to receive the only lasting gift: a Child.
A child born into this world in the grittiest way. Without pomp or production. But with purpose.
Yes, that is the Christmas Magic that never fades.
The Gift of God’s love.
The Miracle Magic that bright-eyed babes and the broken, burden-weary world both need.
A Savior.
Our Jesus King.
Leave a Comment
Michele Morin says
Yes, a quiet knowing that Jesus is the True Gift doesn’t race up the spine like the tingle of Christmas magic, but it’s a gift to receive the sustainable Gift of Love that holds us in faith year long. I see the magic dimming a bit for my kids as they get older, and so my prayer for them is that the worship of Jesus will move in and take the place of “glitz and glimmer.”
Thanks for this lovely offering, Becky.
Becky Keife says
Michele, I love that prayer for your kids, “that the worship of Jesus will move in and take the place of “glitz and glimmer.”” Joining you in that. Merry Christmas!
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Becky,
Thank you for your beautiful reminiscing walk through Christmas’ past. I, too, was fortunate to have such lovely childhood memories filled with Christmas magic. As I’ve gotten older, I realize how blessed I was. Many children in the US don’t get to experience this and now, working with orphans in the Middle East, most of them have never received a Christmas present. Jesus has so many facets. I was blessed to be introduced to joy, and happiness, and lightheartedness. Others, come sooner to know Jesus on a deeper level – as sustainer, protector, as the one who loves on a much more spiritually mature level that goes beyond presents and pretty paper. They’ve been forced to grow up faster and get to know that Jesus that really, truly is the bread of life. I love my childhood memories of Jesus at Christmas, but I love Him even more having seen His faithfulness to bring me through such difficult times. He can be Savior on so many levels – childlike magic Jesus as well as gritty rubber meet the road rescuer of our souls, Jesus. The best news is that He Came, He still Comes to us each and every day, and He will Come again. That is a Jesus worth celebrating. Thanks for the smile you brought to my face this am. Have a joyous Christmas!
Blessings,
Bev xx
Becky Keife says
Bev, what you’ve shared here has touched my heart this morning. Just nodding along in agreement and reverence and thanksgiving. Yes, some never get to know the lighthearted magic of Christmas as we’ve known it, but I stand with you in total agreement that I would trade all the “sparkly” moments for the painful ones when I have come to know my Savior in the most intimate and life-changing ways. Praying for all the precious ones who know Him and need Him as Rescuer today…which is really all of us. Blessings to you, sweet sister.
Sandy says
Beautifully written reminder of the blessings of Christmas as we go through the stages of our life and the abiding joy of getting the true “gift”.
Becky Keife says
Thank you, Sandy. Merry Christmas!
Christine says
Dear Becky,
You have so eloquently captured a feeling that I cherish, the magic of Christmas. Though it’s sad that the magic has faded, I am comforted in knowing that I am not alone in missing this feeling. I so enjoyed hearing of your childhood tradition, it made me feel as if I were in the car with you singing 🙂 . As a child you never imagine that one day you will celebrate without loved ones…so now that this is a reality it’s difficult to remain cheerful and not be overwhelmed with sadness of mourning their loss. Thank you for sharing this and for reminding me that the gift of our savior is eternal and that is what I will hold on to this Christmas.
Merry Christmas – Christine
Hopeful says
I am so sorry for your loss, Christine.
Christine says
♥
Becky Keife says
Christine, I’m so thankful to know this post put a smile on your face. And yet, I too am well acquainted with the mix of joy and grief the holiday season can bring. Christmas 2010 was the last day I saw my dad, not knowing then that he would suddenly pass away a month later. Though our relationship was strained, I can’t go through these December days without a deep ache of longing for him. I don’t know your story of loss, but I am praying you feel the Savior’s nearness today who does. Much love.
Christine says
♥
Beth Williams says
Christine,
Christmas can bring joy, happiness, sorrow & sadness at the same time. So sorry you must celebrate without loved ones. That can be so very hard. Praying you can find peace & comfort in rejoicing & celebrating Christ’s birth. This is what Christmas is all about!! This time of year can be difficult. Most of my family lives out of state/Country & we don’t get together. Add to that I lost my dad this past March & mom has been gone since 2009. That makes it hard to be merry! Prayers for you sweet one!!
((((((Hiugs))))))
Penny says
Becky,
Truly beautiful, thank-you so much for sharing.
The gift of God’s love is everlasting, and outshines all else.
Blessings to all,
Penny
Becky Keife says
Merry Christmas, Penny. So glad you’re here.
Penny says
Thank-you so much Becky. It’s been a God send for me….
Merry Christmas to you too.
Blessings,
Penny
Hopeful says
Hi Becky
That really makes sense and gives me actually more peace and I can stop feel bad about not having those same feelings as an adult! I also see it in my older teens and wondered why (am I doing something wrong? 🙂 )but to understand and realize that it is normal is very helpful and freeing. Because by this age teens and older teens know that the world is not magical in the same sense because they have experienced some very hard things.
Blessings to you!
Becky Keife says
Hopeful, I’m blessed to know this resonated with you! I think changing our expectations about how Christmas is supposed to make us feel really helps in allowing our focus to land squarely on Jesus. Each life season offers its own blessings and challenges. I’m thankful for the Christmas magic of my childhood, but now I have an even deeper gratitude for the Savior’s gift. Merry Christmas to you and yours!
Pearl Allard says
Becky, just soaking in the music of your words. And nodding my agreement. The burdens for those we love weigh heavy. But, while it may take the shiny new out of love, it reveals the unfading beauty underneath. Grateful for your post. Thank you.
Becky Keife says
I appreciate your words, sweet Pearl. Grateful for our Jesus King who allows His beloved daughters to gather here. Merry Christmas!
Brenda says
Becky, this is so, so beautiful. Thank you for writing it. ♥
Rebecca L Jones says
I don’t think it is ever gone really, it’s just that we get caught up in more grown up pursuits, and we give it away to other people instead of cherishing it for ourselves.
Nancy Gladwin says
Oh, Becky, so beautifully written. Poignant memories of days gone by, I think of my mom so often at Christmas. It was her favorite time of year.
Beth Williams says
Becky,
I remember some fun Christmas magic. It has been years since I’ve enjoyed those things. Christmas just doesn’t seem the same to me as I’ve gotten older. One reason is that it comes to soon-right after Halloween. There is the constant barrage of commercials for what to buy. It seems we’ve forgotten the true meaning of Christmas. The simple joys of baking shape cookies, making goodies for neighbors, etc. People don’t go caroling much anymore. I miss the old days when holidays came one at a time & you enjoyed them. Also first Christmas without both my parents and my in-laws are ill. I will rejoice & celebrate in the birth of my savior!! Happy Birthday Jesus!!! After all that is what this day is all about!!!!
Blessings 🙂
Susan Shipe says
Becky, your words and message resonate deeply. O! that we transform the work to worship.