“Can you come over? I just need you here.” Words often spoken through tears, through pain, pleaded with desperation. Their meaning is crystal clear: I cannot be alone right now.
Life is full of moments, both good and hard. Many are beautiful and rich in laughter and celebration, but there are also moments that steal words and silence our voices – a terminal illness, tragedy, loss. Where nothing spoken or done can fix or undue or possibly make things okay, there is presence. And, those are the times when mere presence is enough.
While it cannot be held, it is deeply felt.
While it holds no value on a scale or by monetary means, it is weighty and significant
Presence is a gift that cannot be opened now or later, it must simply be received and enjoyed in the time and space in which it is offered.
By just being, presence offers comfort to the tender and hurting places. But presence is more than a gift of quiet comfort. It also provides a window into knowing others more deeply through the non-verbal language of body movements, gestures, cues – the things unsaid that can only be understood in the midst of presence.
We were wired for community, for fellowship, for intentionally lifting one another up in love and care. This is by design. Divine design. Our heavenly Father sent His Son, Jesus, to earth to pay the price for sin. Upon the Son’s ascension back to heaven our Father didn’t leave us on our own, He sent the Holy Spirit to dwell among us, in us, forever.
I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you forever; that is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it does not see Him or know Him, but you know Him because He abides with you and will be in you. (John 14:16-17)
We know God through His Word, by building a relationship through prayer and worship, and by the presence and guidance of the Holy Spirit in us. These are the ways we hear His voice, heed His instruction, and experience the fullness of joy. He knew we could never make it on our own; He knew that we would need help and guidance and comfort through all of life’s circumstances.
Words. Relationship. Presence.
The very ways we know God are the same ways we know each other.
There will be times when words and actions are appropriate, but there will also be times where mere presence will perfectly meet a need. Let’s be willing to sit in those moments where fixing is not an option, or even appropriate. Let us be the ones that show up and lean in, even when, especially when, it is uncomfortable or hard.
May we be known for our attention and care for those who are hurting, confused and weary. May we be extravagant in the giving of our presence to those around us. May we be a reflection of the lavish love that we have freely received, and, in return, freely give.
How have you been impacted by the gift of presence?
Leave a Comment
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Andrea,
I know that when I have bouts of OCD anxiety or depression, I just want someone near….I don’t want to be alone. I don’t want someone to try to cheer me up or tell me to think “happy thoughts”…..I just want someone to be there – even if it’s just to sit silently with me on the sofa or to give me a hug. Sometimes we think we have to bring something – a meal, a distraction, a funny story (which are all good in certain instances), but sometimes we merely want someone to show up, be present, and let us know we are loved no matter what state we are in. Thank you for a much needed reminder….
Blessings,
Bev xx
Andrea says
Bev,
I think we so often want to fix things, we don’t want our loved ones to be upset, and we can forget that our mere presence and willingness to sit in the pain or sadness or unknown might be the only thing needed. I hope you are surrounded by people who will love you in this way when needed.
Blessings,
Andrea
Michele Morin says
There are some people who bring me joy just by hearing their voice on the phone. And then my wonderful church women gathered last night in the home of a friend where we laughed together, prayed together, and gathered around the Word of God. Your words remind me to be thankful for the gift of relationships God has given so lavishly. And also to pray for those who are lonely and feel as if they are on the outside of it all –especially today.
Andrea says
Michele,
Absolutely! There are so many ways we build relationships with others. It sounds like you are surrounded by a great community. What a blessing indeed.
Blessings,
Andrea
Little Mary says
“Words. Relationship. Presence. The very ways we know God are the same ways we know each other.” – So logical, yet eye-opening(!!!) especially in today’s society! Thank you. I won’t forget it.
Andrea says
Mary,
I completely agree. 🙂 May we be a reflection of our perfect God to those around us.
Blessings,
Andrea
Debra says
Andrea – thank you for your LOVEly sharing today – Valentines Day – awww yes, the gift of presence – I was blessed, early in my career as a nurse, to learn about the remarkable healing effects of simply leaning in and sitting with/being with patients in moments of quiet presence – I am grateful/thankful beyond words that I was called by Heavenly Father to be a nurse – for it was during those still/quiet moments that a true deep spiritual connection was made – offering comfort that no words ever could – blessings to all xo
Andrea says
Debra,
Thank you for sharing this. It sounds like you have a deep love and care for people—I’m so glad to Lord lead you to nursing, too. What a gift to be able to sit with others in their greatest times of need.
Blessings,
Andrea
Beth Williams says
Andrea,
This pot reminded me of Job & his three friends. At first they sat with Job & said nothing. Times when we feel down & out all we want is someone to be with us & give us a hug. No words needed. True friendships will stay together even in the toughest times. They will be there for each other all the time. The world & the evil one wants to keep us busy & distracted. Making it hard to find time for others. Jesus always made time for people-no matter how busy He was. We should do the same. It speaks volumes!
Blessings 🙂
Andrea says
Beth,
Absolutely! The enemy will do anything to reach his goal to kill, steal and destroy. May we stand firm and be brave in not giving him that ground.
Blessings,
Andrea
Shayla says
Thank you for the reminder of the time when I was referred to as a “breath of fresh air!” True friendships are priceless. I’ve grown to learn that now. Years after that statement was made, the same one seemed to expect me to read minds later on and once when I missed “being there” to offer the gift of presence, there was anger. I suppose hurt was the result so needless to say, the connection no longer exists. This reminder of presence is real and being led by The Holy Spirit is a must. I never want to miss His leading!
Andrea says
Shayla,
Thank you so much for sharing, and I’m so sorry to hear about the outcome of your connection. We can often put unfair expectations on others, unwilling to express what we need. And, honestly, your friend may not have known exactly what she needed either. But, we live under grace, by grace. We are not perfect, but we serve a God who is able to perfectly comfort, heal and restore. He is perfect love. I’m sure you are a “breath of fresh air” to so many more than you even realize!
Blessings,
Andrea
Kathy Cheek, Devotions from the Heart says
I am thankful for friends and family that I know are always there for me through whatever comes my way, and I want to be the person others call when they need someone. I am mostly thankful that God is always with me and that His presence is near to me.
http://www.kathycheek.com/2018/02/a-little-like-love.html
Andrea says
Absolutely! I completely agree.
Blessings,
Andrea
Brenda says
This is lovely, Andrea. Thank you. ♥
Andrea says
Thank you so much, Brenda! 🙂
Rebecca Jones says
I have learned how we must practice the presence of Christ and allow the Holy Spirit to ” teach us all things. ” I found it difficult to ” bet there ” for people when they weren’t for me. And watching depression drag someone down can drag you down. But I can encourage no so much better, that know that presence myself. No matter where you are though God can use you to bless someone, and you may end up blessing yourself.
Andrea says
Rebecca,
Absolutely. We must be connected to the true Vine, (Jesus), in order to be able to pour into others and be there for them, especially when they are dealing with something as serious as depression.
Blessings,
Andrea
Maylee says
Thanks for sharing this. Deeply needed to hear this. Sometimes just by having them next time to you heals you in ways you never thought possible. Thank you to a new dear friend Adrianne. As a result of losing my best friend, I gained one of her friends through work. Adrianne stood with me as the nurses pulls the ventilator off of my best friend. Truly just by being next to me helped me so much to get through that awful January day..
Andrea says
Oh, Maylee! My heart goes out to you. I lost two loved ones in January—I can relate to the power of just having family and friends close. I am so sorry for your loss. How sweet to have a new friend; the Lord knows exactly what we need, doesn’t He?
Blessings to you!
Andrea