She takes her time picking up her things. She’s usually in a hurry, so I’ve learned to linger when she lingers. I slowly pick up the trash from our lunch and wait expectantly to see if she will talk. My 17-year-old daughter, Virginia, can talk faster than anyone I have ever met, so when she fires away, I pay close attention, so I won’t miss a word.
Wait for it. Wait for it.
“I think I want to get baptized. I mean I know I was baptized as a baby, but I don’t remember, and I’m just feeling like I want to, but I don’t want to feel awkward. Do you think it will be awkward? What if I am the only one? I bet it will be awkward. Maybe I should wait or not. I don’t know. I don’t really want to get my hair wet because that would be . . . well, awkward.”
This moment was pivotal. Being a sappy or pushy mom might shut her down. I wanted to encourage her to listen and follow her heart.
I waited, biting my nails while listening as she worked through her fear.
Thankfully, the young pastor who offered the invitation for baptism was hanging around and available to help. He quickly understood Virginia’s dilemma and told her to “embrace awkward, instead of running away from it.” Great advice. The pull in her heart was a nudge from the Holy Spirit.
“Let go, Virginia. Let God lead you. Lean into the light,” I prayed silently.
We do not have to be 17 to feel awkward. Honestly, most of us can probably think of at least five times this week we have experienced it. I told Virginia that I have spent most of my life feeling awkward. This seemed to terrify her more, until I explained how awkward can become awesome with God.
Paul wrote about embracing awkwardness to become unlike our culture and to grow to be our very best:
“So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life — your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life — and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for Him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what He wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.” {Romans 12:1-2 MSG}
As Christ followers, we are not meant to fit in. And while we know this, it is still a little awkward to stick out.
Sticking out makes us easy targets — this is what Virginia feared — but that is exactly what God wants us to do. Each time we act on the nudges that lead us out of our cozy corner, our faith grows. And so do we. Leaning into awkwardness can lead to our best life.
Virginia fully embraced awkward this day, sporting an “I Have Decided” t-shirt and joining several others in the celebration of baptism. It was a day we will never forget. Virginia will always be able to look back and be thankful that feeling awkward did not hold her back.
She chose to embrace awkward instead of running from it. I am so proud of her. She leaned into the Light, unashamedly telling the world, “I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back, no turning back.”
So, has awkward been holding you down?
Are you flying under the radar to avoid being an easy target?
Let’s learn to embrace the sometimes awkward leading of the Spirit.
He will lead us to our best life, to an awesome life. God grows us through awkwardness, so we can hold our heads high — even with wet or dry hair. We may wear a bull’s eye, but rest assured, each one of us is the apple of God’s eye. Leaning into the Light is more than worth it.
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Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Katie,
I have always thought of myself as a salmon swimming upstream. All the rest of the world is swimming the other way and it takes perseverance and tenacity to go against the flow. My prayer is for the next generation that so easily gets sucked into their culture being everything. I pray for young people, like your daughter, that they will embrace their awkwardness and let God lead them into the awesomeness He has in store. Thought provoking post this am!
Blessings,
Bev
Katie Wilson says
Thank you so much Bev! I am learning that swimming upstream is my jam; I can’t but GOD can! Going against the grain is God’s gait! Have a wonderful night!
karen says
Friend, this is wonderful!!!! Keep writing and sharing these God-moments!
Katie Wilson says
Thank you so much for the encouragement! I #amwriting for HIS Glory! GoGod
Joanna @ Modern Ruth Project says
Good reminder! As someone who is constantly feeling awkward (and klutzy and overthinking – oh well), this is a good reminder to me that God intended it that way! Thanks!
Katie Wilson says
I think klutzy is graceful to God, and HE loves it when we are all over HIS toes dancing, means we are close:)
Toya Burton Poplar says
“Leaning into awkwardness can lead to our best life.” Good stuff Katie!!! Thanks for reminding me that awkward can become awesome if I let go, let God lead and lean into the light.
Katie Wilson says
The more I think about it, I don’t believe we have to lean to far, considering HE leaned into us first! That blows me away, that love came down and delights to be seen with me:) Thank you so much for your encouragement! GoGod
Michelle says
Great article!! I love when we can see the faithfulness of God and the realness of Him in our kids or those around us!
Katie Wilson says
God’s faithfulness never ceases to wow me, like the best fireworks display evan! Light light light up the sky!!! Thank you so much!
Gail Noe says
Amen! Thank you! Yes it does feel strange sometimes when we do what God is leading but what amazing results!!!
Katie Wilson says
I know right! When I look at God’s love story rarely to do I see stories that make perfect sense to human understanding. I see marching around walls with trumpets, sling shots, rocks and giants, pregnant virgins and RESURRECTION! God never called us to “normal” now did HE:) I am so glad!!! Thank you so much!
Rebecca Jones says
Let’s learn to embrace the sometimes awkward leading of the Spirit. I like that! He surely does nudge you out there. I think its commendable you daughter wants to be baptized. And I agree with Bev about swimming upstream, I feel like I’m on The Poseidon, ( the old movie ), and saying to the passengers, ” You’re going the wrong way. “
Katie Wilson says
Thank you so much new friend! Swimming upstream is my jam:) Going against the grain is God’s gait!!
Katie Wilson says
Thank you so much to everyone who is joining the conversation. The gift of “me too” is just another way God shows us that we are all #bettertogether. A community embracing awkward is just down right fun! GoGod
April Boddie says
Katie this is what I’m talking about! Awkward is the old & new Christian normal. Thank you for reminding us that we’re simply in this world not of it. This makes my heart smile & fills my Jesus cup all the way up. Sis you are the officially the Jesus juice I’m currently sipping! We need the gift that’s inside of you please keep writing.
Nancy Wolfe @ livingcenter.me says
When I feel awkward, I’m thinking about how I look. And, once again, it really isn’t all about me. It’s about being Jesus with skin on. And, good golly, Miss Molly, Jesus didn’t care one tiny bit about how He looked to others. So, let’s go with our awkward! xoxox #500words
April Del Rosario says
What a beautiful picture of a mom supporting her daughter gently toeing the line of awkward herself… She is blessed to have you.
Beth Williams says
Katie,
In my life I have had several nudges or “ought to s”. Each time I respond I get a blessing. Never have I swam with the crowd. Life was done my way and frankly I didn’t care. God made me this way and I like it! It wasn’t always easy. This next generation needs our prayers. We need to raise up a Godly generation of praying people!
Blessings 🙂
Keri Underwood says
I think sometimes we DO wear a bullseye! I know I always felt awkward when I feel the nudge of the Holy Spirit to pray with someone or to talk to someone about Christ. What if I don’t pray good enough? What if they think I’m weird? The list goes on and on. But one thing I have learned is that I have never ever regretted pushing through the awkward. I have never ever regretted stepping out of my comfort zone and following His will. It’s when we step out of our comfort zone that we REALLY see our Father at work! Love this and so proud of Virginia for following the nudge of the Holy Spirit and overcoming the awkward!
http://www.littlelightonahill.com
Keri Underwood says
I think sometimes we DO wear a bullseye! I know I always felt awkward when I feel the nudge of the Holy Spirit to pray with someone or to talk to someone about Christ. What if I don’t pray good enough? What if they think I’m weird? The list goes on and on. But one thing I have learned is that I have never ever regretted pushing through the awkward. I have never ever regretted stepping out of my comfort zone and following His will. It’s when we step out of our comfort zone that we REALLY see our Father at work! Love this and so proud of Virginia for following the nudge of the Holy Spirit and overcoming the awkward!