I attend a tea party in the fellowship hall of a small town church about an hour from my home. This is where my parents had their wedding reception, where my grandparents had their fiftieth anniversary party, where my great-grandparents held hands in the pews.
Today the tables are covered in white linen and each place setting includes a vintage china cup, the kind that tempts you to stick your pinky out when you drink from it. The hostesses of this gathering are the lovely members of my grandma’s Sunday School class, most of whom are now in their eighties.
There is one guest who is a distinct exception to this age range. My granddaughter, Ellie, is here with her Mama and me. She’s wearing a pink bow and charming everyone. At some point I realize five generations of my family are represented; this is beautiful to me.
For the Lord is good, and his faithful love endures forever; his faithfulness, through all generations. (Psalm 100:5)
A couple weeks later I find myself in a room full of diverse ages again. My friend Jennifer Watson, a local pastor’s wife, youth director, and soon-to-be-author had noticed how we tend to silo ourselves according to age and had organized a night for women across seasons and decades to come together.
The women who gathered were not family in the physical sense (but then neither is mine—our daughter became ours when she was twenty-one), but we’re all connected by a different kind of blood. We are sisters and daughters and mamas in Jesus.
Jennifer starts with a word to the senior sisters among us. “We need you,” she says, “You still have so much to offer. It’s never too late for God to use you.” I echo that wholeheartedly—please know we long for your presence and hard-won wisdom. It’s so much harder to walk well without someone going before us.
To those of us in the middle I’d say, “Let’s not miss the divine hidden among the mundane and ordinary. We can touch a life whether we’re holding a microphone or warming up mac-and-cheese in the microwave. Let’s show up where we are, as we are, steadily and faithfully. What’s visible isn’t more valuable.”
To those younger I’d declare, “It’s never too early for God to use you either. Don’t wait to feel ready. We need your optimism and energy, your fresh perspective and your daring. If you received something yesterday—even five minutes ago—then you have something to give to someone else.”
I’m falling in love in a new way with the idea of generations—with the beauty and strength we have when we link arms and stand side-by-side like a glorious timeline of God’s love. Together we can look back with gratefulness for what God has done and look forward with anticipation for what He has yet to do. And we can each choose to make a difference where we are now, in the season we’re living today, in the kitchen, the boardroom, or at a tea party.
This is what my heart understands better each year, what I want to pass on, what I believe: We all have something to offer. We all have something to receive. We are better together.
Leave a Comment
Michele Morin says
YES!
My Sunday School class is also a cross section of generations with my friends and me in the middle, my daughter-in-love and her peers joining in (sometimes with an infant in tow), and then the sweet octagenarian who requires help to get to our room and asks for prayer for her great grandchildren every week. We dive into our study together because one of the many things we have in common is our need for Truth.
Thanks for sharing your five generation tea party!
Tina l Buchholtz says
I was so moved by this!!! My wonderful husband and I are 54 and are helping take care of our precious grandson Preston he is 6!!! It came too me that we have so much wisdom and kindness manners and oh so much love to give and teach him;!! He loves being with us and never ever did I think we could do this but guess what we are!!!! Every age has something g to give and teach anyone in any age group!!! Just remember you are exactly where God wants you!!!
Holley Gerth says
I’m sure you are a blessing to your grandson, Tina!
Tina l Buchholtz says
Thank you Holly!!! It’s been like getting back on the bicycle you just remember!!! Today is our Sabbath day and he is helping me cleany sewing basket and it’s just a joy to teach him!!! I pray your day is abundantly blessed!!!
Holley Gerth says
Your Sunday School class sounds delightful. 🙂 Thanks for reading, Michele!
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Holley,
Many people my age (57 today) are moving to 55 and above aged communities. As for me, I’m staying put. There are a lot of young families with young children moving into our neighborhood and of course there are teenagers (you can hear the base booming in their cars) . I LOVE the mix of people. We walk our dog a lot and it’s fun to greet everyone from babies in strollers to elderly neighbors. We all share a need to love and be loved and whether I’m tickling a babies toes, or helping someone move their flower pots, I embrace the mix of generations. We can all learn from each other. I think it’s how God created us to be 🙂 Lovely reminder!
Blessings,
Bev xx
Patricia says
Happy birthday, Bev!!
God bless you in new and amazing ways!!
Love, all the way up from Argentina
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Thanks so much, Patricia!!
Bev xo
Gail says
Happy birthday Bev!
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Thanks Gail!!
Bev 🙂
Penny says
Happy Birthday Bev,
I hope that you have a really good day, and are blessed with many more to come.
Be well,
Penny
Nancy Silvers says
Happy Birthday, Bev-we share the same birthday except I am 62 today-I am staying put too. We live in the country but have a rental house on our property and our tenants have 5 active children and there is such a diversity at church. I love the mix and am very comfortable being Nana Nancy (or Banana Nancy as 6 dear boys call me) God is so good and I am so content at this age!!
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Thanks Banana Nancy – love it!! Let’s stay forever young 🙂
Blessings,
Bev xx
Nancy Ruegg says
Happy birthday to another Nana Nancy! I have a feeling you’re enjoying a delightful day because anyone who embrace the moniker, Banana Nancy , surely knows how to celebrate every good (and fun, and laugh-inducing) gift from above!
Holley Gerth says
Happy Birthday, Bev!! XOXO
Carol says
Beautiful! Love that we all have something to share. Amen.
Rosie J Williams says
I loved this Holley! I have a section in my journal where I keep verses relating to “generations”. Every woman I know has the need to be included along with insecurities that get in the way of that. What a beautiful reminder that we need to join hands and connect no matter what our age!
Holley Gerth says
I love that you keep a list of verses about generations, Rosie!
Sadie says
Amen sisters! God’s fingerprints are all over the generations as He gives answers loudly & clearly through His Word… We all need each other’s experiences to be shared, this way our hearts are ready to give and receive, as needed.. Naomi, Ruth.. who loved who more? We are all better together! Keep calm & serve on ❤️
Holley Gerth says
An Amen to your Amen, Sadie!! 🙂
Brenda says
Sadly just recently I have become alienated from the church by the actions of two or three of its members.
One decided I was no longer going to be invited to various events he used to take me to and I was no longer welcome. Two others walked past me in the street while I was gasping for breath and when I asked why was told as I was looking at my feet they didn’t want to bother me! I have a heart condition which they were aware of.
Sometimes I think being 88 years old is
no longer being of any use especially as I am becoming more deaf!!
Elizabeth says
Don’t let the actions of a few deter you. Sending prayers and love.
Brenda says
Bless you and thank you ❤️
Sheena says
That is so sad Brenda. Sending love and prayers for your restoration to fellowship with the church family. Praying too that they recognise the hurt they’ve caused and helped by the Lord to be more aware.
Brenda says
Bless you and thank you ❤️
Holley Gerth says
I agree with Elizabeth, Brenda. You are needed and you have so much to offer–a lifetime of wisdom. You are loved and have a place at your church.
May says
Thank you Holley, I will pray in church this morning that I can feel truly useful again, I know these things will pass and I trust that peace will return to my heart . Bless you.
Beth Williams says
Holley,
Yes. We need multi generational gatherings. God wants us to mentor each other & teach the wisdom we learned. We can all be used of God in some form or fashion at every stage of life.
Ecclesiastes 4;9-12 says it best: Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: 10 If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. 11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? 12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
Let’s get generations together & enjoy life!
Blessings 🙂
Holley Gerth says
That’s a great perspective on Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, Beth!
Brenda says
I Just got back to Texas from Northern California… my husband preached a revival over the weekend. Lots of fellowship dinners, outreach and ministry. The big surprise was the founding pastors widow who was 80 years young, hosted us gracefully and with purpose. She cooked a taco dinner for the whole fellowship. Whipped up egg casseroles Friday night before I could change into my pjs and was amazed that this was just the way she lives. This woman who many call “grandma” Gracefully loved with hands and feet of our Savior. As we talked the following day she was full of stories and shared that her and her husband had raised about 100 foster children while in full time ministry. They had four children of their own, and adopted four of the foster kids. One became a renown Neuro surgeon. She quilts by hand, giving everyone in her family her beautiful work. I was inspired by her selfless vigor to do for all around her. Even the dog and bird who belong to family are accepted for months for babysitting by grandma. She is a true example of a proverbs 31 & Titus 2 woman.
The most interesting part… she didn’t feel any of these things were remarkable, just a day in the life of a lady called Melba.
Holley Gerth says
How wonderful! Thanks for sharing Melba with us. I love stories like hers. 🙂
gm says
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEV!!!
Keep spreading this word, it is very true and needed and basically absent from most Christian circles. There are “overwhelming” numbers of places including supposedly Christian circles (and certainly multitudes of secular voices), that are screaming at the younger to not listen to any advice from your parents, that they need to make their own decisions with no help from their parents; and if they do you are free to cut them off for a time or forever for no good reason. There is a real hatred for Godly advice from parents that is quite popular and the effects are devastating and long term for grandchildren and grandparents (as well as to those doing these actions). So please keep spreading this word. Thank you! (I know there are severe situations that unfortunately necessitate such strong actions. But it should not be the norm, as it often times is today. )
Robin Steinweg says
Holly,
This message is so desperately needed! Every age I’ve been so far, I’ve had friends of all ages who were kindred spirits, and I felt frustrated when churches and schools forced us to segregate into age groups. We all need each other!!!! Thank you.
Penny says
This was really lovely Holley,
Thank-you for the sweet message.
Blessings to you,
Penny
Cynthia says
Love this Holley. Thank you. ❤️
Rosemarie (HOPE) K. says
WELL SAID – AMEN SISTER!!!! SOOOOO MUCH BETTER WHEN WE DO LIFE TOGETHER; TOUCHING HEARTS & REACHING LIVES FOR JESUS in what we OFFER.
Pearl Allard says
“What’s visible is not more valuable.” Thank you, Holley, for this!!! There’s something that draws me to older women – their wisdom, their more clarified priorities and purpose, and their increased confidence in who they are. Plus, they have a larger well of experience from which to draw interesting stories! Grateful for those older women who have welcomed me into their hearts in different seasons. Hoping to become a gracious older woman to others just behind me, too.
Holley Gerth says
Ditto to everything you said, Pearl!
Sharen says
I love this, Holley, in many ways. There are times I feel maybe I’ve “aged out” of some goals I had set for myself when I was younger (I just turned 56 a few days ago, and the familiar anxiety of “doing before going” kicked in once again) But then I remind myself that I am right where God has placed me, and doing looks different than some of the goals I had set years ago.
For now, I’m in a neighborhood of young, blossoming families (with lots of new babies to cuddle and toddlers to chase) along with a smattering of empty nesters. My children are grown and I have a grandson who I delight in caring for part-time while my daughter works.
Yet, I’m also a writer who has been on a partial hiatus for a number of years. My heart is there too, and thankfully I have writerly friends who have walked this journey with me, encouraging my writing dreams. I’m strolling there now, which is a leap from the standstill.
This place in life with generations both before and behind is a sacred place. Mentors who have passed keep me reminded of how I can mentor the “youngers” and encourage the “olders.” It is a place of open arms, I think.
Holley Gerth says
Perhaps you’re “aging in” rather than “aging out”–coming into the season God has been preparing you for all this time. 🙂
Sharen says
Perhaps, Holley. I trust whatever He’s doing. Thank you for the affirmation. 🙂
Loretta Owens says
Amen to everything that has been posted!!!
I am 72 and still feel the need (not always the want) to be around young people. Hey anyone under age 72 is young to me. HaHa
Girls keep living life and bringing glory to our Lord. We all need it in some form or another.
Doris Smith says
❤️❤️
Doris Smith says
Thank you Holly!!❤️
Nancy says
Thank you, thank you, thank you for such a precious article! It is much needed at this time, and I needed to read/hear such encouragement. Hugs to all generations!
Linda Maxwell says
Thanks Holley
The culture segregates ages but the Church must integrate generations as well as other people groups for richness and depth. We all have something to teach and much to learn from each other.
Brenda: sorry for the hurtful treatment you experienced. I felt a little isolated as one of the few elders in my church but I am leading a discipleship group now for women ages 13 to my age (75).
Wilma says
Love this concept. This year I turn 77. Earlier in the week I shared my thoughts regarding “Listen and Learn” of all places an Al-Anon meeting. I’m able to learn from younger women. We are family. Sadly my husband have an offspring with addictions. Please lift her, Jana, in prayer. Her two boys are 2 and 4 an we haven’t been with them since 2016. Only in Christ’s power are we able to be thankful even in this.
Wilma
Rhonda Ihrig says
This makes me glad to see those younger than me recognize that they still need us. I’m 64 and have been in ministry for 43 years, but in the past few years have felt pushed to the side by those younger than me. We need all of you younger ones to run this race. When I was your age I had a lot of great ideas, but I also knew that without those who have gone before me I would not be able to meet the challenge or run my race well. I may not have always agreed, but I would never have made them feel they had less to offer because they had gotten older. So thank you for making me feel better and needed, it is a great boost to my spirit.
Tamara Langford says
Thank you for this Holley. It is once again a timely piece. My sister and I lives thousands of miles apart but are always close. Recently or should I say once again we have been discussing age related items, generational things along with family and faith and friends. I have also witness how when out in groups we segregate ourselves into clusters of comfort … or like-minded spirits who are probably the same age.
As a child my mother used to say to me if we were going to have company … “Talk to everybody” … as I had a tendency to feel more comfortable with young children, our my own age group or the seniors. Anyone in the “parental age bracket” was a bit suspect. I can chuckle about that now.
Your piece reminds me of my mothers words and how truly a variety of generations can enhance any situation I think and when we come together to worship we will find that the kindred spirit has no age!
Maribeth says
Wonderful, wonderful and timely post! We are ALL sisters of Christ. Love your thoughts, love your words. Thank you!!
Shirley says
Don’t let those people deter you from what God still has for you. Pray for them. Sounds like they need it. Wish I were close to you… I’d give you a big yet gentle hug!
Nancy Silvers says
I love this Holley-as I celebrate my 62nd birthday today I am, more and more, realizing that first, it’s not too late for me and 2nd I really do have God given gifts and experiences that I can share with those younger than me. I missed Jennifer’s first Tribal Night due to surgery but I am planning on being at the next one!!
Lindsey Greenawalt says
Oh Holley! You’ve tapped into gold here—that is, a much needed precious stone…this sounds like a book to me. Just sayin’ 😉
My favorite classmate in my Masters Biblical Studies class is in her late 70s. She has so much wisdom. She is precious to me. I have a 23 year old in my Bible Hermeneutics group I facilitate —we call it Sword Practice. I adore how her eyes light up with each discovery we make in God’s Word together. Many fierce-fragile warriors fall to the wolves because they didn’t have a traveling companion. Thank you for sharing this!
P.S. Please include me in the launch. <3
Sandi Gonzalez says
Beautifully said. Thanks for reminding ALL of us that we are UNITED and needed for HIS PURPOSE!
Sheena says
So encouraged by this post Holley. We need to remember that we are all on the way together! Blessings x
Bonnie Russell says
Thank you Holly. Sometimes at age 62, I feel like I’ve ‘been put out to pasture.’ I love the Lord and my heart is in women’s ministry. Right now at this season in my life, I don’t sense a real purpose. I long to belong…. I’ve opened my home to Bible study in the past, only to find no one was interested for different reason. I cherish the idea of the Tribal group setting. I would love some Christian advice, words of encouragement ….
Thanks again and God bless!
Holley Gerth says
So glad we can all gather here in whatever generation we’re in! Let’s embrace the season we’re in an keep encouraging each other. <3
Karin csora says
I lead a moms group at our church. I have started quite a few over the past 15 years and I am now one of the senior mamas at church. I know a moms group can tend to be for younger moms. But I suggest that all moms/ any age attend. We need to be an encouragement to the young mamas, and they need to realize too that wisdom can come through life experience.
I love seeing cross generational events! It thrills my heart just like you said jen the blog. One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone says, “oh that’s not for me because there is no one there like me”. Be the different one. Embrace each uniqueness and value to the body as a whole.
Margaret Wilson says
Bless you, Holley, for having words that provide balance again.
Unfortunately, your blog today didn’t cover everyone. There are some like me who were trail blazers, going where only God had gone before. And now we are lonely because we didn’t make a lot of friends on the way.
We are most comfortable with the youth who are not comfortable with us because we are older than their grandmothers and we speak a different language.
Those our age are divided between those are envious that we did what they didn’t have the courage to do, and those who are appalled that we aren’t like them.
Those of middle years have women who wish they had the courage to step out (they see our loneliness as yet another barrier), but the majority are still appalled because we don’t fit into the acceptable mold for women.
Keep writing, because some days you and the Bible are all I have.
sue says
So beautifully true. I just spoke all weekend to a wonderfully age-diversed women’s retreat – and I called them to come alongside one another – for any type of mentoring. We all have someone older and younger in our lives, we all have something to learn and something to teach. A blessed conundrum. Thanks, Holley.
sue says
Oops, sorry Margaret – showing my age! Ha! I meant for this comment to go to Holley. But I will be your friend and I admire you were a trailblazer. I feel like I was and am one, too, at almost 66. (:
Margaret Wilson says
I understand the “fat finger syndrome”, Sue. 🙂 I’m still blazing trails on my own, I can’t seem to stop leaving fertile ground behind me for others to settle into and heading off to find more fertile areas for more people.
Nancy Ruegg says
Thank you for your encouragement, Holley, that each generation contribute their strengths for the benefit of the other age groups. As we get older (I’m 69), a sense of irrelevance can wriggle into our spirits. But you say, “”Please know we long for your presence and hard-won wisdom.” Your statement suggests there are those who appreciate the voice of experience we represent. Then I skim-read the comments here and see MANY women celebrating all the stages of life and what they have to offer–even the senior citizens! I think one of the strengths of us retirees is: we have time to listen, to encourage, and to pray for others. Praise God, he grants great fulfillment from exercising those strengths!
Kim Ebersole says
Holley,
I loved this post. Your words could not be more true. We all need each other, and we all have something to offer.
Thank you for the reminder, and for encouraging us to reach out to others regardless of age.
Kim
Cathy Damron says
I just found the time to read your post. Wonderfully stated the importance of each season of our lives. I have been told of late that I’ m old. I’ m 62 and that’s not old, I’ ve just been where you are now a few years ago. It made me sad when I heard this in a worship service. So my response is: AGE is a number not a value of a life lived. God loves the gnarled fingers of arthritis and work, the white hair, the age spots on wrinkled hands that have given thousands of hugs, the body that has put others first before we take of ourselves and the children we have and their children, cause now I m a grandma. Yes, I am wonderfully made in God’s image and I do have worth. Thank you for such a beautiful post.
Robin says
I am a support person for moms who have postpartum mood and anxiety disorders. 1 in 7 mothers will experience a postpartum mood disorder. That’s a staggering amount. The United States ranks on the bottom of the world in the care of our new mothers and their infants immediately after birth. I believe that part of this is due to the breakdown between the generations. When our grandmothers had babies, aunts, grandmothers, neighbors and friends would come out of the woodwork to help a new mother adjust to her new role. Now, a mother goes into the hospital, has a baby, is discharged within 2 days and sent on her merry way. And oh yeah, she has to get her ducks in a row and be back at work in six weeks or risk losing her job. There is something to be gained from every generation. If it doesn’t start with us, who will it start with?
Desiree Taylor says
This is my heart!! I have been talking to people about this more. I have been praying God would show me how He wants to use me to encourage this. I have friends from the teens all the way up to the 80’s and I am in my 40’s. There is so much we learn from each other and share with one another. I pray God gives us eyes to see this! Thanks for sharing, Holley!
AMELE says
THANKS for this post, Holley, and God bless you. How did you become a writer? Did you take a class?
GOD BLESS ALL WHO HAVE COMMENTED ON THIS POST.