photos by: Melissa Michaels
I have always looked forward to autumn. I love putting away the summer decor and bringing out the warm fluffy blankets and fall pillows. I daydream about cold evenings with my family nestled together by the fire. I picture a cozy life of comfort and void of stress. Yes, I know. I am a dreamer.
Contrary to my dreams, my real life involves a little more stress than I’d like. More than once over the past couple of years I’ve wanted to hide under my warm cozy sheets in the morning and not peek my head out at all. Not even to bake brownies.
Next month will mark two years since our life felt “comfortable.” In the fall of 2007, my husband found out his job was going to be outsourced. I remember the day he told me our world was going to change. I felt my heart sink to my knees and my stomach do flip flops.
While the news of the loss of income was a blow, we both knew this change was just what we needed in order to step out of our comfort zone and do what God was calling us to do. Sometimes we have to experience something uncomfortable to grow.
We spent twelve long months in 2008 with no steady paycheck. I don’t know what timetable I was expecting, but a YEAR without his paycheck wasn’t really something I envisioned. Winter turned to spring, spring, turned to summer and then it was fall once again.
In January of 2009, we finally embarked on the opportunity we knew God had prepared for us. We were heading to Washington to start a brand new church. We were excited and humbled by what God had done during those long seemingly silent months. He was at work even when we could not see it.
We packed up most of our belongings, put our Portland house on the market and headed out the door full of hope for our new life!
As we took off in our mini-van to make the drive up to Washington that cold and wintry morning, we encountered some of the worst driving conditions we had ever experienced. We had no chains or snow tires or four wheel drive. Our son cried from the backseat as we watched cars spin out all around us, colliding and landing in ditches. But God brought us through the storm safely.
Little did we know on that cold, icy drive would not be the last of the storms we’d face this year.
In spite of the difficult real estate market, we received an offer on our home. I thought for sure that signaled the end of our struggles and we could buy the home we had been renting. I was so excited about the answered prayers and again felt hopeful.
But in the spring, our home buyers walked away from the purchase the day before closing. I hung up the phone after hearing the news and cried. I had to call off our home purchase in Washington and sink back into the season of unknowns. Had God forgotten us? What happened to that answered prayer? This was not what I hoped for.
We picked ourselves up from that disappointment and put our house back on the market. Certainly God could bring good from this — the kind of good I wanted. Yet, spring turned to summer without a new sale. We found ourselves in a season of confusion.
While we were praising God for the amazing things we saw Him doing through the beginnings of the new church, we were still paying for a house back in Portland. We were sure God brought us to Washington, we just didn’t want two houses. It was hard to keep hopeful and encouraged.
I am not sure if I should have a sense of humor about this next incident or not, but I allow myself to chuckle about it. While making what was supposed to be an uneventful trip back to Portland in July, I had to be taken to the ER for for emergency surgery. I ended up recuperating for three weeks, stuck in the home that wouldn’t sell. At least I had a familiar place to stay, right?
Summer has now given way to back to school sales and cooler nights. As I write this, our house remains unsold. We’ve done everything we can humanly think of to sell that house and prayed a million prayers. At this point, we don’t even know where we will live at the end of September as our rental agreement in Washington is due to expire since we didn’t buy the house as planned. The leap of faith to move up here has required even more trust in God than I ever imagined.
Do I wake up every day and praise Him even in the storms, simply because He is God? I’ll admit there are days I have to resist questioning God’s wisdom in us being stuck with a house in Portland. It doesn’t make sense to me. But I know God will use this experience for our good even if the outcome is different from what I had hoped for.
There are many who suffer more difficult circumstances and seasons of life. My trials are small by comparison to so many. I’m well aware of how blessed I really am. In spite of my human frailty and fatigue from the past two years of change, disappointments and hard work, I know God is near. His purposes are beyond what I can see or feel sometimes.
Every day I try to look for the hope that comes in small doses and put my faith in the bigger picture of what God is doing around us. The church we came to start officially begins this month. God has done amazing things in the past two years and has provided in ways I would have never dreamed possible. God IS at work.
He knows my heart. He hears. He cares. He gives hope.
Leave a Comment
I am a new reader of Melissa’s Inspired Room blog. I had no idea she had gone through this, just liked her decor ideas. My husband was laid off last November, and as we get closer to the year mark, I’ve had moments of hope, faith, confusion, frustration. My husband has started his own business as well and we’re still in the waiting period to see if it will be profitable for our family. Thanks Melissa for the reminder that we’re not the only family going through this, and the hope that it will work out for our family, and hers!
Dearest Melissa, You have more faith than you think! God works in mysterious ways and if we try to understand them we will only feel more discouraged. Just ride out your storm. There is a silver lining on one of those clouds, it’s just taking God some working to blow away the big black dark ones so you can see that special one that He has waiting for you!
Oh Melissa, so much the same thing here. We are a year now out of employment, husband starting a new business, etc. Will it work? Well, SOMETHING will, God has promised to provide! I’m praying for you, me and all the other families struggling through these tough,but growing times.
I am responding from a home about 2000 miles from my college son and my friends (and what I would consider civilization 🙂 ). Each lonely day I try to be thankful knowing that others don’t even have this blessing now. I pray wisdom is given to those that make the rules so we all have more choices soon. We did spend a year without work, but were able to host my sister’s family who lost their home during Katrina. Thanks for the inspiration to reflect back and know that it will work out.
We moved in February 2008 across the country (from Idaho to Rhode Island) to be closer to my family and for my husband to accept a good job offer. We left behind our house, which to this day remains unsold. We had someone decide on THE DAY OF CLOSING to back out. So I understand how you feel! Sometimes it’s hard to see God’s plan when you can’t understand how things could work out. But He is faithful!
This month marks one year that my husband has been unemployed. Next month the unemployment check runs out and I am not sure what God has in store for us. I do know that he has met our every need so far and been faithful in ways that amaze me. Hubby has gone back to school and we will do what we have to to keep going. I feel your anxiety Melissa. It isn’t always easy to keep believing everything will be ok, especially when we don’t seem to have control or be able to see around this bend in the road. We need to keep lifting each other in prayer and helping where we can. I am praying for you and your family.
We just began a study by Jennifer Rothschild called Walking by Faith, Lessons learned in the Dark, and you are an example of doing that very thing. One thing that she said about someone walking by faith is that, “It can be well with your soul even if it is not with your circumstance.” I am praying that for you today, that through every trial, it will be well with your soul! I have been to your church website and I just wish that I was closer to Washingto so I could come and visit…it looks like an awesome place to be and I am sure that God will bless you for your faithfulness to answer His call. Hugs my friend~
You inspire more than the rooms in our homes.
Melissa, I cannot imagine what you are going through at this point, but I can say that you are an encouragement and inspiration to others. Even if I cannot identify with your individual circumstances, I can draw from your spirit and attitude to apply to my own circumstances. Challenging as life can be, it is still wonderful as long as you keep tings in perspective. Thank you for sharing!
Melissa- Stay strong — your prayers and positive attitude will prevail! Behind every cloud is a silver lining.
As for your house in Portland, you have two options — rent it for the next year or two to cover your mortgage OR lower your price. In this declining market (and yes, the market is STILL declining — it’s not expected to reach bottom until November, 2010 according to Steve Harney), you must price it below the market if you want it to move. If it is priced at Market or above, the market will simply pass it by. The good news however, is if you do price it lower and it moves, you will gain the benefit on the other side as the Buyer and it continues to be a Buyer’s market.
Melissa, I had no idea you all went to Washington to start a church!
Oh yes, I remember when your sale fell through. I still can’t believe that happened! I’m sure you’ve thought about renting it out? Everything I see says these days price is the most important factor. I know people in my neighborhood have been pricing their homes in what I think are prices from 10 years ago! But they’re selling (even though it hurts those of us that live here. I guess it’s better than having a bunch of foreclosures in the neighborhood).
Just wanted to drop by and say hang in there. You’re such an inspiration with your can do positive attitude! It’ll all work out in the end.
Manuela
Melissa, I had been wondering how things were going after your sale fell through. Surely something will happen soon and it will sell. I think it is remarkable that you have been able to started Voyage under such trying circumstances.
Our daughter and son-in-law are facing some serious work related problems right now as well. His company is being sold off by a larger one and that may mean no work for him. They have four little girls and their baby turning 2 tomorrow has spina bifada (she is paralyzed from the ribs down) and they have astronomical medical bills unpaid and more coming in all the time. They are especially worried about getting new insurance should the worst happen. It seems their burdens are just too heavy but through it all the Lord provides. Faith always proceeds the miracle. I’ll add you and your sweet family to our prayer list!
Melissa, our journeys are similar in a lot of ways! I know how hard it can be to wait, when you don’t know which direction you’re headed.
Thanks for sharing your story.
Hi Melissa. Just wanted you to know that I’m wishing you lots of love, strength and inspiration while you’re in this tough situation. Your faith will become even stronger while you’re waiting for God’s bigger plan for your family, your homes and your new church to come into focus.
Thank you for sharing your story Melissa. Thanks so much for letting God use your story to give others hope!
When you write about your ministry experiences I see myself over and over. There is so much uncertainty, but it’s wrapped in hope, and sometimes I miss that. More often than not, God let’s us walk through the valley of the shadow rather than around it. But God is with us through it all. Amen.
gheez…
please dear god
Shine down on Melissa… and in the meantime… remind me to
never- ever- ever EVER think about feeling sorry for myself again…. AMEN!!
Melissa, I like how you press forward- having a perfect brightness of hope- enduring to the end is what it is all about.
Thanks for sharing, we are not alone.
Wow. After reading your story, I can relate on so many levels. And after reading all of the comments, I realized so many people are on the same boat as I am and you are.
Two years ago, my husband had to close his mortgage company. We’ve embarked on a long road of ups and downs. Our very comfortable life as we once knew it was no more. At first we were in the “honeymoon” stage of disbelief and not really worrying because my husband had so many contacts and always had job offers. Then it hit us after he kept trying to find a job, our comfortable world as we once knew it was no more. Lots of networking…hopes of finding something…all of life’s ups and downs…somewhere along this journey our luck as got to turn around. I know in my heart we will be just fine in the end.
Melissa,
As I read your post and some of the comments, my heart ached for so many in “uncomfortable” positions. I have now joined you there, as my husband lost his job in May and has not been able to find work in his field. He is starting a home renovation business.
I struggle to find peace and purpose in all of this, yet I know that I can only trust God to work out his plans that I can’t see nor understand right now. I have to say that I don’t like this “desert place” we are in.
Trust. Wait. Be still. Do not fret. These are the words of God – easy to say, hard to live. And yet, daily we press on.
I read this morning John’s words, “…we know and rely on the love God has for us.” (I John) May God’s love and peace be yours today.
Lorrie
It sounds as if you are going through a long rough patch. I myself had a very rough summer and questioned why god was choosing this path for me…but I just have to keep telling myself that everything happens for a reason. At this point I am sure it’s very hard to see what the reason is…but try to keep your faith and know God has a plan for you. I will keep you in my prayers.
Thank you for opening your heart like you did Melissa! I believe that God is working in your life as well and look forward to the day when you can look back and tell us just how far He has brought you and your family!
Many Blessings,
Melissa
Vancouver, WA
that is an amazing story…keep the faith. You have been blessed more than you know.
Dear Melissa,
Im going to be praying for your home in Portland to sell for just the right amount and for clarity thru these seasons.
much Love
Melissa,
So nice to read one of your posts. I think this is the first one of yours I’ve read. It is hard to keep our chins up, but we have to do it, because looking back God always provides.
…So hard to believe the emotions a situation of the past can fade, but over time they do. God heals us from our pain.
Blessings to your family 🙂
Gussy
I can relate so much to what you’re going through, especially with all the adversity encountered during full time ministry. It’s wonderful to see your faith during this time and is such an encouragement to us all. Just know that you are in the middle of where God wants you to be and He will continue to be faithful to you and give you His peace that passes understanding right where you are. Just keep taking the steps that are lit in front of you and He’ll be right there with you and leading the way.
God bless you and your family!
Thank you for sharing your update, Melissa. Praying for you!
I’ve been praying for you on the 24th of every month ever since you wrote about your buyers backing out. I have a list of friends, families, and ministries that I pray for monthly. You’re Day 24! Tomorrow I will pray that you will see God’s provision soon.
Because of your blog, many, many people admire you and pray for you. Looking at The Inspired Room is a bright spot in my day. Be encouraged.
Oh Melissa, I am right there with you. Our circumstances are similar in that we are desperately trying to sell our home. We have had similar disappointments.
I wonder if the Father is calling us to a deeper trust and a kind of surrender that, for me at least, has always been difficult. It has really been a life- long lesson for me – this learning to trust in spite of the circumstances. I am a slow learner, but I am finding Him infinitely patient and loving.
I loved this post. Thank you.
Here’s a sentence that I refer to everyday in my devotional reading.
God is able to give you the strenght to make it through, but you’ve got to take time for the pain.
My husband and I lost our jobs last month, as well as our apartment and our Toby, the Wonderdog.
All through the pain I keep remembering he’s always with us. He’ll never leave us.
Melissa – a friend sent me a link to your site. I admire your faith and obedience to the Lord. We moved to Portland in January to plant a church here. We’re growing a neighborhood church in the Alberta area of NE pdx. Where’s your house?
Laurel
I think… we tend to compare our sufferings… but each heart knows its own sorrows as the Proverbs say… and they are real.
Dear Melissa –
Thank you for your honesty and candor – it touches the hearts of many of us. Yes, God often lets us go through the storm but oh how bright it is on the other side when the sun shines again! Praying for you and the vision God has given you and your husband. Don’t give it up.
~Adrienne~
I was feeling so awful just now, I decided to open my computer and maybe, just maybe, something would distract me enough to feel better for a while. I opened the Inspired Room to look at the lovely design I usually find there, promising to avoid envy and/or self-recrimination — also known as Compare & Despair Syndrome. I was taken aback at all the postings about unemployed families. I can be grateful for my husband’s paycheck and a warm home (not owned, but in my city it’s outrageous to buy). I not only thank God, literally, for my blessings, but am inspired to open myself to service to working people or in whatever way He sees fit.
I really needed this story right now. We live in Florida and we are being transferred to a suburb of Cincinnati in November. We built our home 2 1/2 yrs. ago and now it is worth 50k less than we paid for it. It has been heartbreaking to find that out and it has been a very trying time for us. God is good and he has a plan. Sometimes it is not on our time table and I am having to learn that. I am learning to trust Him and lean on Him because He has it all under control. Even as I lay here in bed with shingles, I am trusting in him. Thank you for your testimony because I needed it.
Melissa, I am praying for you and your situation. I am a REALTOR in Montana and I know exactly what you are talking about. I pray for my sellers and know that God is in control. It has been such a challenging year for me professionally but I am blessed to have a husband who is employed. Someone suggested that to get your home sold you need to price it below market. I’m afraid that is true and you still need to be willing to negotiate.
Just this past week God has blessed me with buyers for several of my listings. The market seems to be picking up as first time homebuyers are trying to get a home bought before the tax credit expires. I pray that your home will sell soon too. God Bless you and your family for your commitment to Him.
Peggy
As sad and difficult this was to read, it was also inspiring. Funny how God works. Melissa, bless you.
Melissa,
Thank you for your candidness in sharing your “unfinished” story. It blessed me and was exactly what I needed tonight to remind me to stay focused on who He is instead of focusing on “why”?
Kelly
Melissa,
I can identify almost word for word, emotion for emotion with your situation. My family is on a similar journey and the confusion has been here so long I almost set a place for it at the dinner table. BUT GOD!! He is precious beyond measure through it all!! Whatever He is doing, I know there is good in it–I may not get it right now, but I know He knows what He is doing. Praying for both our families and all the others out there who are on the same road.
Shaunie
You all have encouraged me SO much. I am humbled and blessed to have you all as friends.
xo
Thanks so much for sharing this part of your life story with us. I know it will encourage many people as your courage and trust shines through these tough times.
I have often said for myself and others, God’s grace is sufficient. And if it’s not sufficient for our particular circumstance, then we might as well all close the Book and go home. But we know in our hearts that His grace IS sufficient. It’s enough. I get so much courage when I remind myself of it!
I would buy your house if I could only. My heart just breaks for you as you wait. Have you thought about renting it? is that a possibility? I wish I had an answer for you. I hope your situation changes for the better soon. You are in my thoughts and prayers, sweet Melissa.
Dearest Melissa,
When the tough times come (and they have, do, will) I find myself often reading in Psalms. Humbled by the circumstances of life, I am reminded that David, too, went through trying times, darkness seemingly closing in.
Yet, there was God.
Even in the darkness we have Light, even in the midst of loss we have Hope, in the sadness, Joy. God never draws away from US. Ask for His eternal perspective in the struggles and He will reveal Himself to you. He can turn what is meant for evil and use it for good. Hang in there sweet Sister, prayers are lifting you, even now, before the Throne. And He will not forsake you.
In His Love and with Heartfelt Prayers…
(((HUGS))) to you and yours. We also had losses over the last few years–even losing our home though we tried EVERYTHING we knew to do. God knows and we can honestly see now the “beauty from ashes” that He has created! Your words inspired me on a day when i feel like throwing in the towel!
“Do I wake up every day and praise Him even in the storms, simply because He is God?”
“There are many who suffer more difficult circumstances and seasons of life. My trials are small by comparison to so many.”
Truer words were never spoken :0)! Sent up a prayer for you, your new church, you home :0)!
Thank you for sharing your story. That was just what I needed. I so relate to your story and was refreshed and encouraged!
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
I remember going with you in my mind during your last year with the move and surgery and all- Despite all that has been going on it has been a blessing to see and hear of your faith in Our Heavenly Father who does have all things in His hands. Know you will look back and say – Yes you were there all the time!
blessings
mary
I too am someone who reads your blog for the wonderful decor ideas, but they all get filled away for “one day”, because I too am unemployed. Next Saturday (the day of my 20th high school reunion!) will make 1 year of unemployment for me. My current home needs 10K worth of repairs, including a new heating and air unit for the one upstairs that stopped working in May. Unemployment runs out next week, insurance runs out at the end of October and I am single with no one else to back me up.
I have no words of wisdom, other than to let you know that you are not alone. There are many of us out here.
Hey – we may all have to live in your Portland house together once we can no longer afford our own – ha 🙂
Melissa,
I truly believe God has a plan for all of us who believe. My struggles are different, I find myself divorced after 26 years of marriage, and in a tenious custody situation of our son. (please lift him up in prayer). But I hold on daily to the fact, God and his angels are working, and I may not see it tommorow or the next day, but I am a child of the most high God and he is working things to glorify him.
You will all be in my thoughts and prayers
Lea
Melissa, I love your heart. I may not read The Inspired Room every day but when I do, I simply love it. Your faith is made stronger through your trials. Although they may not be of our choosing, the Lord knows just how to grow us and chisel away parts of our “selves” so that He can shine through. And He is definitely shining through you! I’m so glad they included you as a writer for (in)courage. That’s what you are; an encourager.
Blessings and hugs to you,
Debbie
Hello Melissa,
I discovered your story through searching for info about the Voyage Church. I attended it last week for the first time. My friends came from Port Orchard to join me, we were all blessed.
My family will be praying for you and your family. We completely understand your situation! I have moved here from Mo. a few years ago. I believe God has sent you here, Melissa! Thank you for trusting God and following after Him!
Looking forward to meeting you in person. Hugs and prayers.
Tammy
Hi, Melissa!
Greetings from Tx! Know that God loves you and most of all, He Has a Plan!!! Isn’t that exciting? He may not let us in on it, but He has not forgotten you!
My husband went 10mos. without work when his company in Sacramento closed after having worked there for 17 years and we had to leave our ‘forever’ home in N. CA. We ended up here in TX and experienced more unemployment, a bankruptsy, and serious financial strain. BUT, God still had a plan. Through miraculous circumstances, he finally got a job in his field of expertice…but over 2 hours from our home. Fine, we said, we will just sell it and move on…Over a year later, we still have not sold. I see my dear husband, the children their beloved father, only on weekends. We have fasted and prayed and prayed and fasted. We have seen many, many other prayers answered, proof that our God is the best listener/friend that we could ever hope for!
So, we wait. ” My soul, wait (look for help) thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him.” Ps. 62:5
Bless you, dear sister! I will pray you sell soon and God will take you the next step in His plan!
Blessings,
Lori in TX
We serve a Faithful God, He will never fails 🙂
Thanks for sharing your lovely message.
Thanks, Melissa. I needed to read this today.
I’m finding and reading this post nearly a year after it was written, but I still had to leave a comment and say thank you. I feel like I’ve been going through a strange and difficult season in my own life and have found it really hard to trust God. My faith has been shaken because I don’t understand everything that’s happening. This post encouraged me this morning to keep the faith and keep trusting, despite the situation. So thank you for your encouragement. I appreciate it!