A crisis pregnancy center on the campus of the University of Louisville invited me to share my testimony with the students. I was to tell the story of keeping my child conceived through rape, and to encourage students to make courageous choices themselves.
The room quickly filled with the most diverse group I had ever addressed: an equal number of men and women, many black and white students, Christians who gushed to me about how excited they were to have this event on campus and others who showed up simply to receive extra credit.
The most disconcerting dichotomy, however, I didn’t realize until moments before I spoke. Apparently I was entering a longtime battle between zealous pro-life advocates and radical pro-abortionists. These two groups had a history of picketing each others’ medical centers, facing off on the streets, and, unfortunately for me, attending and disrupting each others’ public meetings.
I started off with a joke, trying to create a little camaraderie. To my amazement these precious young people responded. As I continued speaking, I could see them settling in, unfolding their arms, and fixing their attention on me. I didn’t hold back. I told them how hard it had been, how scary it was, and how things didn’t always go as expected. I told them of my doubts and fears. And I told them how God had carried me through those dark days, how my church and community supported me, and how scripture was my lifeline. The women were sobbing, and guys were unashamedly blowing their noses as well.

What a great moment it was when I introduced them to my daughter, who had proudly joined me for this event. Everyone cheered, and Rachael beamed. No one cared about politics. They just wanted a word of hope. They were delighted to be startled by beauty.
Most of the questions asked during the Q&A time afterward were sensitive, appropriate, and really quite penetrating as students applied my message to their own lives.
Only one woman—a volunteer for a nearby abortion clinic—seemed intent on disrupting the gentle spirit that had come over the group. She commented that I could make such a choice only because I had resources that not everyone has access to; I agreed with her, and assured her that the pregnancy center would be that kind of community for anyone facing a crisis pregnancy, that no one would have to face their situation alone. Her next tactic was to attempt to pull my daughter into the fray, saying, “Rachael, tell me how you feel about your father?” The mama bear in me quickly cut that conversation short, but I felt an odd sort of tenderness for this woman. Why hadn’t she been able to receive the peace and joy that the others were experiencing?
She caught me after the session was over. I expected more hostility, but she simply wanted to apologize. She realized she had gone too far. “No problem,” I said. We chatted a bit more, and she went on her way.
That’s all. She didn’t start bawling and passionately change allegiances, declaring herself a new person. She’s probably at the abortion clinic now.
I learned a few old lessons in new ways that night: First, don’t worry about your enemies; just love them. Mostly, they’re just normal people who disagree with you. Second, you’ll never lose a battle if grace wins.
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Oh Heather, that last sentence split me in two. I will not forget this. Thank you!
Thanks, Kristen. I only pray that I can live it out every day! 🙂
“No one cared about politics. They just wanted a word of hope.”
I love this, Heather. And isn’t it the truth. Somehow there is this basic human-thing that extends beyond party lines or social status or dogma that longs for hope and champions redemption. No matter what.
I love that. Thanks for sharing your story and pointing us all upward.
Love, Laura
I just went to your blog, Laura–and it’s clear that you know how true it is that politics are not nearly as important as living out our faith. I admire you and your husband for the work you are doing! May God bless your efforts richly. (PS You’re a great writer too.)
“That’s all. She didn’t start bawling and passionately change allegiances, declaring herself a new person. She’s probably at the abortion clinic now.”
…I’m struggling to see the connection between this statement and the follow-up words about grace and loving your enemy. I commend you for not wanting to chew the woman out, but I don’t think this is really loving your enemies, it’s simply not responding to them with hate – but love looks different still.
I totally disagree, I think she did respond out of love. I think that sometimes love is loving the person enough to know that you may not need to say anything. The grace in which she handled that situation speaks for itself, and I think that’s evidenced in the fact that the lady even came to apologize. Look below. It says if someone strikes your cheek, turn to them the other also….it does not say “combat their actions with words and respond to them, letting them know that they’ve crossed your boundaries.” I think that she simply turned the other cheek which is what Jesus called us to do.
Matthew 5:38-40
An Eye for an Eye
38″You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.'[a] 39But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. 40And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well.
Hi Alex – thanks for sharing your thoughts. Maybe my original comment was misunderstood as I agree with you about love sometimes being portrayed through silence. I didn’t think the author needed to say anything further to the woman or to defend herself. The part that didn’t seem like love to me was the judgement or assumption the author made when she wrote that “she’s probably at the abortion clinic now”. Without that unnecessary editorial comment, I wouldn’t have wrestled with the post at all.
Hi Jessica. Thanks so much for your thoughts on this; I appreciate your honest grappling with this issue of what it means to love our enemies.
I can see how the line that you have trouble with may seem like judgment; but my intent was just the opposite: I don’t want to assume that my words were enough to make her change her entire way of thinking and living. Obviously I HOPE God used my words to soften her heart, but I can love her even if she doesn’t agree with me.
Hope that helps.
Warmly, Heather
Wow, what an amazing story. You are a blessing!
Thank you Heather. Your testimony will not stop touching lives!
Your willingness to share has made an impact on our world.
I want to love more intentionally (even those I disagree with).
Humbled once again by the powerful testimony of what the Lord accomplishes when Truth is spoken in Love. Thank you for bringing Him great Glory. What a sense of purpose you have been able to instill in the life of your beautiful daughter! We have two sons the Lord called us to adopt from Siberia. Their parents are still living. They were “thrown away.” They were six and seven when they became our sons. The Lord has moved in their lives and healed so much that was broken. They now pray each day in our prayer time for their biological parents. They have chosen to forgive, but they are going further by praying blessings on these people who so wounded them. When we voluntarily invest something of value in the life of the one who wounded/offended us, the Lord grows a powerful, holy Love in our spirits for that person. It is amazing to be privileged to watch this transformation in our sons and the power it builds into their spirits.
Thank you for the words of your testimony!!!
Wow! What a powerful story … and what an invaluable gift you’re giving your sons by teaching them to forgive in such a profound way. I can’t wait to hear how they grow up to affect the world as great men of God. Thanks for sharing!
I loved this Heather. Thank you for sharing this!
what a powerful story. how awesome for you to share your story in a way that (almost) everyone could see the meaning behind. what a testimony you and your daughter are! thanks for sharing your story
It really is all about grace, isn’t it? Heather, you’d so good at bringing us back to the heart-truth that matters most. I love that about you. Thank you!
Amazing story! I loved the grace in which you responded to that lady. You easily could have given in to your momma bear instincts and shut the questioning down, becoming defensive….but that would not have helped those who came to oppose you. Instead you loved that woman…and even though she’s probably at the clinic….you’ve planted a seed.
Thanks, Alex. I appreciate your encouragement!
That is a powerful testimony! Thank you for sharing it. It’s amazing that God uses us to reach so many, many we have no idea of.
Your daughter is so precious!
Peg
you’ll never lose a battle if grace wins. so true. I am so thankful that you are a woman exuding grace. Your daughter I am sure thanks you too. =0)
Thank you so much, I’m bookmarking this story to share with my teen girls in Sunday School. I’m planning on giving them a “talk” soon about knowing there are people who will always help them and love them no matter what, and will help them if they become pregnant.
Love it!
I’m crying and I kind of know why and I kind of don’t. You are living hope and joy and grace. Thank you for that choice.
That is awesome and would be so hard to do! I know I chose life for my now 14 year old son. I wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s too bad that all women don’t realize that abortion is a tough choice too. It won’t take away the knowledge that you once carried life. I do believe God uses even those who don’t live long, to touch lives. God bless you for speaking out!
“you’ll never lose a battle if grace wins.”
that has been stuck in my head ALL DAY. i read this on my phone when i couldn’t sleep at about 4 this morning and i immediately had to share with some friends.
thank you for reminding us that we have to love our enemies. i’l never forget learning that lesson in the 8th grade and too often, i fail at it miserably.
I am a Director at a crisis pregnancy center, and I want to commend you for speaking to that group of young people on this topic. Being 25 myself, I know how divided our age group is on this issue, and sometimes it can seem so hard to reach them! Your story is amazing…truly shows how something WONDERFUL can come out of such a tough situation. I think that God allows us to use our tough situations in life to reach those who are in similar situations…so glad you are using your story for His glory!
Thanks for your important ministry. I LOVE pregnancy care centers and know what a difference they make in the life of women who are facing crisis pregnancies. God bless you!
That’s an amazing testimony. I admire your bravery and your graciousness…God totally used you to make a difference in those people’s lives…
Thank you for sharing this story. It originally caught my interest because I am from Kentucky, but the last line spoke volumes to me.
Thanks again!
Such a great and important life lesson about people and ourselves. Thank you for your boldness in sharing your story.
Heather, Thank you so much for this. How powerful and true are your words. You have really touched me very deeply with this and the Lord has really used you to speak and minister to me with this.
God Bless you and Rachael. You both are such an inspiration to me.
What a BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER AND AUNT RACHAEL IS! SHE HAS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL AND JOYFUL SMILE! THE LORD RADIATES BRIGHTLY FROM HER FACE AND HER HEART!
In Christ’s Love & prayers
Sis in Christ
Tina
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