It was just my church newsletter.
It was just a Bible verse at the top of the page.
And now, I believe, the words are permanently seared into my heart.
Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that. Ephesians 5: 1-3, The Message
Do I love like that? Am I even capable of emanating a love that profound, that free, that unencumbered by strings? Is this even a possibility?
When I think about my day and all that entails, do I spend the majority of it loving? Sure, the actions that I perform may come across as being loving, but is that my true motivation?
Before turning out the light, I offer my husband a back scratch. Secretly, I hope that he is going to return the favor and massage my own aches and pains.
I call my neighbor and invite her kids over to play. She offers to come over to help, but I tell her to savor the moments she is in her house alone. Secretly, I hope she returns the favor next week so I can get a few minutes of sanity myself.
I leave comments on every blog I visit, offering encouragement, a laugh, or a sympathetic word. Secretly, I hope they are going to travel to my own blog and leave a few precious words for me.
I am not good at loving like that.
I watch what God does through the actions of Jesus and I see Him, even after a long days work, still toiling in the fields for the harvest. And when He feels He can give no more, He retires to a solitary place to commune with the Giver of All Good Things.
Perhaps if I choose to keep company with God, even just a little bit more, His ways of loving may inspire me to drop the charade and love with abandon. Knowing that God spends the majority of His day loving means that when I feel as though I am lacking something, all that is necessary is for me to turn to the Source. Instead of stealthily trying to give with one hand and receive with the other at the same time, I can humbly beseech my Heavenly Father and ask Him to fill me in whatever way He knows best. The more I am overflowing with Jesus, the less room there is for my self and my selfish motivations. Knowing that I can surrender my needs to God allows me to give extravagantly of myself. Knowing that He hems me in and lifts me up, I can listen for His prompting as He leads me to into a life of servanthood and a life of love.
I want to love like that.
Jen Ferguson, Finding Heaven
Jenny says
That was good!
Jen Ferguson says
Thank you!
vicki says
Look at you! Guest posting and all!
You are a great writer. I learn good things from you. And I also know what you are talking about by not being selfish and expecting favors returned. I believe we all struggle with those things. Yes, God can give us all that we need. He will always return our favors, no matter if people do or not!
Jen Ferguson says
I love that — returning our favors. Yes, I think He just loves to bestow good gifts on us!
Janice says
Hear, hear. I know I struggle the same way.
Paige says
I want to love with abandon too! Thank you for sharing your heart today. I needed this message and that verse. Have a blessed week!
Jen Ferguson says
I just love it when something Jesus says just sears my heart!
Holley Gerth says
Thanks for the great, challenging reminder, Jen! So glad to have you on (in)courage today!
Karla says
I want to love like that too! Thank you so much for sharing from your heart just words I needed to hear today. karla
Allison says
I love how vulnerable you are Jen and so appreciate your extraordinary wisdom and insight. Thank you for sharing that so faithfully! Allison
Angela :) says
I can only hope that I can love like that….and that my girls see that…and love like that too!
Beautiful…
Jen Ferguson says
You do a fabulous job of loving like that, friend!
shelly @ Life on the Wild Side says
Ah, loving without expecting anything in return. That’s the key, isn’t it? Thanks!
Hallie says
Thank you so much for this! I just had surgery this week and have been experiencing extravagant love in so many ways. My husband and I have been the recipients of healing prayers, meals, and many other blessings. It is my hope to be able to pass it on to bless someone else.
Jen Ferguson says
I hope you continue to recover well and bask in all that love — may your cup overflow!
Joni says
Extravagant Love! Thank you for the reminder. It’s both convicting and encouraging.
Kelli says
Wow. That was great, Jen. I feel the same way. At least I know I’m not alone in my feelings! I want to love like that as well. Some days I’m just too tired to love like that, but I try. I hope that I can love extravagantly and my children will learn that extravagant love not only through Him but also through me.
Stephanie says
Hey Jen! You are such an inspiration, I too long to love like that. But, the fact that you WANT so bad to love like that is part of what makes you such a beautiful person. And just WANTING to love like that brings your heart closer and closer to Jesus. I have been listening to the Addison Road song lately “What do I know of Holy” and realizing I don’t know much, HA! But I think God loves a heart that is willing to learn 🙂
Jen Ferguson says
I’m going to go listen to that song now!
Amy Sullivan says
Jen,
I want to keep company with God so I can learn from His ways…I want to love, to really love, and not be motivated by my own desires. Oh, I want to love the “no strings attached” kind of way. It just seems so far from where I am right now.
Beautiful picture and beautiful post. Your words speak to many!
Jen Ferguson says
I don’t know, Amy. You don’t seem to be so far away — I just look at your blog and KNOW!
Natalie at Mommy on Fire says
Jen this is so honestly written and so transparent. I found myself thinking “Me, too” as I read most of your words. Such the mark of a great writer and you are one!
Thank you for making me think, dear one!
Beth says
Thanks Jen, for this honest post. It made me realize that because of an adult child’s great need right now, I have been giving and giving and outpouring and giving some more and have barely taken any time to go to the Source and fill up again myself. Therefore, I am feeling drained and terribly unhappy and as if I have nothing left to give anyone else. Thank you for reminding me that I need to take care of myself spiritually at this time as I give myself away to a child who needs a lot from me for a season.
Jen Ferguson says
I will be praying for you, Beth, that the Father will just make your cup OVERFLOW!
sarah says
keeping company with God… i love the way that’s worded. we make life so much about tasks and to-do lists and things, that hearing the reminder that it’s really about relationships is good for my soul (: thank you for sharing your heart in this post!
Rebekah says
so so so true. i’m exactly like you, especially with the blog commenting thing. and then i get upset when someone doesn’t come back and comment. i think we set up false expectations when we do that…not only do we not love as well, but we’re getting our hopes up when there’s absolutely no reason we should. if that makes sense? :-/
thanks for sharing jen! REALLY! 🙂
Jen Ferguson says
It totally makes sense to me. I just try to not keep track, even though it’s hard sometimes. I realize that I can always choose to extend grace.
P.j. says
I am finally learning to get filled up by just taking the time to sit on our Father God’s lap, and REST in His big, strong arms. That is when I notice I am taking the first really deep breaths I’ve had in a while. I find peace, strength, and refreshment there….He whispers secret things to my spirit, and tells me I am His. When I sit there in His company, He indeed DOES meet all of my needs, and then adds even MORE! I cannot help but “pour it out” to every person I come in contact with! I cannot help but continue going back to my Source for more and more and more. It is exciting to me to be used by God to love.
KrisDot says
What a great word! I can so completely relate…that’s totally ME! How true, some lessons I am learning myself – to be so caught up in Him that we want to share & give to/for others just simply because He is good and has blessed our own life and can’t contain Him to ourselves! THANK YOU! 😉
Shanda says
Thank you for your honesty. It is hard to live a totally selfless love life. I do have a feeling you are pretty good at it though 🙂