
It has been 9 months since my dad took his last breath. Nine months since I stood at his bedside and watched his cancer-ridden body struggle to survive in between painful breaths. Nine months since I kissed his warm skin and saw his eyes search the hospital room until he found my face. Nine months have passed since I got that call from my teary-voiced mother that my father no longer existed on this earth.
So much got buried with my father. His hearty laughter. His brilliant smile. The gentle way he said my name. And truth is—a big part of me died that day.
Ironically, a big part of me also came back to life. You see, at one time the relationship between my father and I was dead. It was like Lazarus in the Bible—wrapped in grave clothes and laid to rest behind a heavy stone. I hated the man my father had become: selfish, at times mean and withdrawn. It wasn’t until years after I moved out on my own that I was told my father had been living with a drug addiction. He was a functioning addict. One who went to work every day; cleaned up nice, smiled and waved at the neighbors and won people over with that smile of his. But I knew the ugly secret and I hated my father. Never wanted to speak to him again. Wished him dead even.
It’s hard to believe I ever felt this way about him. Amazingly, what didn’t get buried is the reconciliation that God brought to our relationship. My father eventually kicked a hard-core drug habit on his own and ended up acknowledging Jesus as his Savior. And our relationship flourished over time. He once again became the daddy I grew up with. He was my friend. My champion. My cheerleader. The best daddy a girl could have.
I don’t even remember when the transformation started. I do remember that my heart became tender for him before he was fully cleaned up. There was no verbal apology but my father’s life became one big act of forgiveness. I often think about how I would feel today had we never reconciled?

The world says to discard painful or difficult relationships. We are such a throw-away society, but God is in the recycling business. He finds a use for all of our broken pieces, shattered promises and crumbled relationships. The world tells us some relationships will never be mended. But God comes in and turns that all upside down.
In John 11:25 Jesus says, “I am the resurrection and the life.” Resurrection isn’t a thing or an event. It’s a person in the form of Jesus Christ Himself. When we have His Spirit dwelling inside of us, we are walking around with resurrection power. Jesus Himself is the resurrection. When He’s invited in, relationships that were once dead and buried can be brought to life.
So grateful that God went to the curb and picked up what was trashed. God saw our relationship sitting there mangled next to piles of garbage waiting for the next trash pick-up. There were so many broken pieces. I’d swept them up and dumped them. To me, they were good for nothing. But God gently picked each piece up and created something new and good. He already saw things between us restored and whole.
If there’s a relationship that you’ve trashed, don’t think for one moment that God can’t step in with His resurrection power and make it new. It’s what He does best. Might there be a struggling relationship in your life in need of God’s powerful touch? Hand it over to Him and you’ll be surprised at what He hands back to you.
By Antracia, The NON-Superwoman Chronicles
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Thank you for sharing. ((hugs))
Thank you for reading!
this was such an amazing post!
Thank you for your post Antracia. I am working my way through forgiveness and reconciliation and found your words encouraging. I know that if reconciliation is God’s will for my situation then it will happen. You were blessed to experience that healing with your father before his death. Thank you for sharing your wisdom!
Cindy…praying that God’s power rests on you as you work through forgiveness and reconciliation.
{{Hugs}} to you on your recent loss; I know the void that brings.
Yours is a beautiful story of redemption and reconciliation, really the story of Jesus! God is in the business of changing people, and the transformation of both your father and you is a lovely reflection of our Him. Thank you for sharing your story; I pray it encourages others to seek reconciliation and restoration of broken relationships.
Robin – thank you for reading and sharing such kind words!
Thank you so much for this post. I am working my way through some healing with a relationship with my mother…sadly some of my other relationships with some family members lay broken…they don’t want to reconcile with me. When I became a believer I was basically kicked out of the family. For a couple…the only way to reconcile is to give up my faith. So I continue to pray. And to wait. And respect boundaries. And pray some more. What a blessing that you had a new relationship with your dad before he passed away. It is my prayer that I will receive that gift as well.
Blessings to you today! Thank you for your gift of hope.
Mary Joy
Mary Jo – There’s great power in prayer….never stop. Healing is never easy, but we know that with God all things are possible.
thank you so much for your story, the relationship that is a mirror to yours in my life is with my husband. He is just like your Dad, thank you for reminding me of the hope that there is in Jesus Christ!
Praying for you Keri. Sometimes the closest relationships bring the greatest pain. But Jesus is the healer of broken hearts!
I also want to encourage everyone that there is opportunity to reconciliation even after the death of said person with whom you have a broken relationship. I had a heart break of a story with my daddy, learned he passed when I was in college. We had a broken relationship and my heart broke for all we’d never experiences. I so desperately wanted him to say I’m sorry, and I love you, and it’s going to be different this time. He was never able to say this in words. Yet, when I attended his funeral, I had seen he’d become a Christian, he’d been study with Moody, and there were so so many people who respected and admired the man he had become. I was taken aback, who I knew him as, he was not to others. I learned grace and forgiveness for him in time, but what I learned most from his death was my own personal relationship with Christ, and for this I thank my dad for the gift of true life because of his death. Who knew such a beautiful thing could happen in something so tragic? Oh, I miss him and think of the things we could have done had he lived, but I think more seriously about the fact that we will be able to do so much more in eternity where we will meet again. I gave God the pieces of my broken heart, and He put it all back together again.
2 Samuel 22: 21-25(Message)
God made my life complete
when I placed all the pieces before him.
When I cleaned up my act,
he gave me a fresh start.
Indeed, I’ve kept alert to God’s ways;
I haven’t taken God for granted.
Every day I review the ways he works,
I try not to miss a trick.
I feel put back together,
and I’m watching my step.
God rewrote the text of my life
when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes.
What an awesome testimony Dawn! All of our stories are different, but like you said: give God the pieces of your broken heart, and He will put it all back together again. Continued blessings to you!
What a beautiful tribute to our God of restoration. Beautifully written sweet friend!
Trace,
You took the words right out of my mouth–in your first three paragraphs, anyway.
As you know my dad died of cancer less than a month ago, and there have been a number of times that I’ve begun authoring a similar tribute only to delete it before posting it. Perhaps our lack of reconciliation made the tribute too incomplete for me to validate by pressing the “post” button.
Incomplete or not, all I wanted to say about him was that he accomplished more than my resentment likes to admit. Due to his desire for my brother and me to be exposed to a better lifestyle than his, he intentionally moved us to the suburb.
He wasn’t there much, but it was there that I met you, Dackeyia, Cherita and so many other friends and adoptive families. In many ways, you guys (my suburb community) made the difference my dad wanted to make. So despite the fact that he and I weren’t “reconciled”, I acknowledge the love that motivated him to leave us in the hands of a more-nurturing and more-inspiring community. I really am grateful to him for that because I know he made that decision on purpose.
Thank you for sharing your story and inspiring me to finally press the “post” button. I thank God (and my dad) for friends like you.
Antracia,
Thank you for your beautiful post. I rarely write, but I was so encouraged and can so relate to your words. My father was a functioning alcoholic most of my life and when I was in college he miraculously became a Christian. It took many years but God has truly restored our relationship and it’s better than I ever imagined. I can’t imagine how difficult it will be when he goes to be with the Lord, but I’m thankful that we’ll be together for eternity.
God bless you dear Sister, and thank you for sharing your writing gift and your personal testimony to bless the Body.
Love,
Stephanie
Stephanie – restoration testimonies are my favorite. Love on your dad while he’s here! Thanks for reading and replying!
LOVE this! love the power of His resurrection in our lives!
Thank you for testifying to the Faithfulness of our Heavenly Father!
The relationship we have with our earthly fathers is such a defining one in our lives. It is a tragic that so many children allow the mistakes of an earthly father to prevent them from seeing how our Heavenly One loves us.
I am so thankful your relationship received restoration! What a blessing!
“The world says to discard painful or difficult relationships. We are such a throw-away society, but God is in the recycling business. He finds a use for all of our broken pieces, shattered promises and crumbled relationships. The world tells us some relationships will never be mended. But God comes in and turns that all upside down.”
Amen and amen! Beautifully written and a true testament to our God who makes all things new … He is a God of reconciliation and has committed that ministry to us (2 Cor. 5:17-19). Thank you for sharing your story.
Antraica, this was beautiful and wonderful at the same time, how you can share something so deep thats was in your heart but yet giving all the glory to our Lord Jesus christ. We serve a wonderful God…
Love you always
Vincent & Kim
It was nice to read this testimony. It’s also great that Rakeshia was able to share her story. My heart goes out to the two of you for the loss of your fathers. I too have given the Lord my pieces. He has helped me so much in my journey of life. Too much to include in this post.
Thanks so much for sharing.
This was beautifully written. I lost my own dad a year a half ago to cancer. I dreamt about him last night and it rattled me a little. Your blog today was a perfect reminder of the perfect timing of God’s word and the power of a godly testimony. Thank you for sharing.
“Resurrection isn’t a thing or an event. It’s a person in the form of Jesus Christ Himself.” Girl, those words gave me holy goosebumps! Whew. Thanks for this powerful story of redemption and what God can do.
As I read your story all I can say, “Its amazing how one person can be so different in the eyes of others.” Uncle Bob was great, in his own way. He was loving and kind from a distant, very hard to put into verbal description. Deep down inside, I knew he cared. Although my father is still alive, his life is not. He too had ventured off into the world of a “functioning – you name it.”
After he took deathly ill 3 years ago, he changed, changed for the better. The father that I wanted, longed and prayed for has risen. The power of prayer and the opportunity to have a relationship resurrected is powerful and wonderful, all at the same time! I’m not sure if he has accepted Jesus in his life, but he sure has the desire and a work in progress. I believe and trust that God “IS” and can work miraculously and He is a way maker! God of LOVE, God of MERCY. Bless all your readers, for their stories, testaments and encouragements, Fathers and daughter relationships are the most cherished relationships on earth, especially when they are resurrected~ What a beautiful this feeling it is. Thanks Tracy for posting. This makes continue valuing and developing what I have while I have him.
Very touching story.