About the Author

Bonnie Gray is the author of Sweet Like Jasmine, Whispers of Rest, wife, and mom to two boys. An inspirational speaker featured by Relevant Magazine and Christianity Today, she’s guided thousands to detox stress and experience God’s love through soul care, encouragement, and prayer. She loves refreshing your soul at...

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Reader Interactions


  1. Beautiful, compelling, and so true. Thank you for your lovely writing, Bonnie.

    I’m forty-four, by the way, and just learned how to bake a whole chicken this year. It’s the simplest thing, isn’t it? I think handling the raw bird was what kept me away so long.

  2. I am in an in-between time right now and this post spoke volumes to me. Thank you for reminding me about what it means to abide in Christ. How challenging to hear that right now it is not what I’m doing but who I’m becoming that Christ is interested in. The sermon on Wed night spoke about this same thing and I’d say that the Lord is trying to give me this message loud and clear. May I leave the longings of my heart in His hands knowing that He sees the bigger picture.

    • It’s freeing to see our in-between time is spent with other beautiful sisters, believing together. It’s beautiful to hear how the Holy Spirit is whispering the same sweet words to your heart, Stephanie!

  3. Thank you for this post. I have been living in an in between time for what feels like decades but in reality has only been about 3 or 4 years. Yes years. I loved your comment ‘I used to obsess over what God’s plan was for me. I worried about the significance of what I was doing. I still wonder. But now, I’m more focused on who I am becoming.’ Prior to this in between time for me, I didnt focus on God’s plan, I wasn’t focused on who I was becoming. I was only focused on what I was doing or who was doing it to me.

    After my divorce in ’05, I simply tried to survive for the sake of myself and my children. 2 years after I left my exhusband he moved to our current state we live in and moved in with the us again. We hoped it would work out. It of course didnt, but we were only doing it for the kids, not us, not God.

    God was only in my life at surface level, I went to church, I sang in choir, I sewed with our quilt group. But I didnt let anyone know me, I didnt talk about my home life, I didnt talk to God about it. My ex was not supportive of the children and I going to church EVERY week as he put it.

    To make this long story short, God began to change me on the inside. I broke down finally, stopped hiding who I really was, admitted ‘I have issues’ and began talking to our women’s minister that God literally hand picked to call me. He knew I never would reach out. God has used her and many other people the last 3 years especially to help me sort out things, encouraged me to work on things with my exhusband to rebuild the relationship, etc. God built my community for me by placing very specific women with very specific abilities to help me through a particular episode in my life. These women all love God and not only have they taught me so much, supported me every step of the way, they love me! A very new and wonderful feeling for me.

    After trying for a solid two years to rebuild our relationship my exhusband moved out the 2nd time 11 months ago, I could not do the work myself to fix things and he was not interested in doing any of the work. I again became a survivor which really wasnt anything new to me. Thats how I was living all along I guess. I have been focused on God through all the turmoil between the ex and myself. God had me work on a some really painful things during the last 11 months from my past and I am glad to say that I feel like I am on the other side of it now and can actually see some light ahead of me now. Its not a deep dark pit any longer. I no longer want to carry all the junk around with me and I do not want it to jeopardize any future relationships I may encounter.

    So how does this tie into ‘in between time’? Well I am no longer worried about what I will do or how I will do it. I am now in a place where I can say to God who am I? I realize that all this other stuff from my past does not define who I am, and I really am looking to find out who this person is inside of me. So this is my in between time as I try to sit back and relax now, let God do his work inside of me as he has been. Only now I am not going to fight him as much as I was!

    He’s not finished with me yet, this is just the beginning of my new life and I now have God completely front and center-I’ve stepped aside, I’ve cleaned out the hidden closet in my heart and my head so that none of these things can get in my way of seeing God. I am just living for TODAY and even though it is very hard for me some days to not spiral out of control with all of this stuff. I’m learning ways to try to battle that spiraling. I am okay with not surviving any longer and I am eager to learn how to live again……….

    • Lisa, I am so moved by the beauty and power of how God has shown His love to you, in such excruciating struggles. Thank you for sharing your story that is touching so many as we read and find real life and God intertwined. May God bless your path each day, as you breathe new experiences in a loving church body. I grew up in a divorced family and God was closer than ever in it. He is faithful!

    • Lisa,

      My husband moved out for the second time this year, also. I’m finding now that God was doing so much in my “in-between-time” while he was home and we were supposedly working on our marriage. God was strengthening me to stand alone and up for what is right.

      I certainly grieve my marriage and the loss of so many dreams, for my children who will grow up in a divided home. But I’m optimistic about my future, have faith that God will carry us through and look forward to whatever God does have for us.

      Thank you for sharing. It’s tough, but worth it.

  4. Thank you Bonnie. You’ve explained this so well. The one in-between time that taught me the most was when we struggled for four years with infertility. Every month seemed like an eternity. But God was gracious, loving and kind through it all. That was over 22 years ago. We now have three beautiful children and a granddaughter! When I struggle with something for a while I remember God has my best in mind…always. His timing is perfect.

    • Hi Southern Gal, I can’t imagine what an up and down time it was. You’ve emerged with faith like GOLD and a testimony alive in your three children. I’m sure you are a beautiful garden of grace, having endured those years!

  5. (Sorry this got so long…I tried to copy/paste to my blog, but my phone wouldn’t let me!)
    First off, LOVE your thoughts, stories, and spiritual truths. Thanks for sharing and inspiring us.
    Second: recipes girl…you told us how to make the bad chicken…how about some “real” good Chinese recipes! (My daughter and son in law just returned from 3 years of school there, I’d love to surprise them with a real authentic meal!!)
    Third: my first response was that I’m too busy to be “in between” right now…but that’s my bigger picture. My calendar this week says I have training tomorrow from 9-4, church at 5:45 tomorrow night, and will be at a conference from Wednesday – Sunday for missions. In my spare time I’m preparing for the workshop I’m leading (“Help! My child wants to go into missions!”) and preparing the menu for cooking for 25 Missions Ministers while they meet off sight. I’m busy!!
    But then this still, small voice reminded me that I’ve been sick and in bed all week, and that the new medication added to my regiment is not allowing me to sleep….not a wink. I’m sorta stuck in one of those spots now.
    My attendance at the conference is canceled and I’ll likely skip church…though if I feel better Sunday I’ll go then. For now, being able to heal, rest, and sleep if/when it comes is paramount. In my sleepless time tonight I lay awake listening to God, praying about today’s activities and the week ahead. Twice He spoke clearly enough to force me to pull the laptop on the bed and write out new notes in my outline. He’s using my season of waiting to prepare for the season of harvest. That’s good enough for me!
    Several years ago, while working at a Christian Camp, God changed my idea of “retreat participation.” I had only been exposed to spiritual retreats, great speakers, late nights, and worship with the angels. What God showed me was that He use these times to prepare us like a military unit readying for war on a spiritual battleground; He is stocking our supplies, readying our focus, and giving us rest and nourishment to go back into the spiritual frontlines. I think we mistake the quiet times of life, those waiting situations between the trials, as missed opportunities to retreat.
    I pray that we will use our time wisely, the day of His return IS drawing near, and although we do not know the day or time we need to continue to be salt and light to a hurting world here, near, and far away.

    • That is a wonderful insight, Marina. Our in-between time is really preparing for our wedding day with Jesus!

      I loved your point about sharing Chinese recipes! … I will have to figure out a good one and share it somehow on the blog! 🙂

  6. Bonnie!!!! I loved this! Your wisdom shed light on a truth I haven’t yet considered–significance in The Waiting.

    Don’t we from a very young age anticipate the Next Big Thing? Riding a two-wheeler, becoming a teenager, getting your driver’s permit, voting…etc.? We hurry up and wait and forget to relish the now.

    I’m encouraged to remember that…since as you suggested, most of our lives are spent in the in-between….like now.

    Well done, friend. 🙂

    • “The Next Big Thing”… Now, that is a great flip side to chew on.

      I love your Pensieve wisdom, Robin! 😉

      So true, we’re hurried along to focus since early age on the “important” big stuff and suddenly, *plop*, we grow up and find ourselves in everyday life!

  7. Bonnie, I just loved this post! Such a great illustration for such an important lesson! It’s so easy to try to “rush” our growth…to get to the finished product! Thanks for the reminder (and for making me smile w/ your chicken story) =)

  8. Ahh, the waiting is hard.It hurts, but so does growing (pains). I pray for virtuous patience, daily. Beautiful post of wisdom, Bonnie.

    have a wonderful weekend, all.

  9. When living in the between times and the waiting, well, I cling to my favorite what I call “waiting verses” and I am posting them, hope they encourage someone, they always encourage me, because God in His faithfulness renews my strength and reminds me my life is in His hands as are His plans for me – and His perfect timing. When we trust Him, we will wait on Him.

    Lamentations 3:26
    It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD.

    Psalm 62:1, 5
     1 Truly my soul silently waits for God;
             From Him comes my salvation.

     5 My soul, wait silently for God alone,
             For my expectation is from Him.

    Psalm 27:14
    Wait on the LORD;
    Be of good courage,
    And He shall strengthen your heart;
    Wait, I say, on the LORD!

    Isaiah 40:31
    They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles. They shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.

  10. Thank you Bonnie, this is so important and you spelled it out completely! It is so hard with our finite minds to see anything in the eternal picture while we are waiting. I too am in the midst of working and waiting to bring a new business to fruition, but I have knowledge from past experience that God works in the backgrounds where we can’t even see. I have faith knowing also that He works while we work. In the background. This post helped remind me that as I don’t have actual results yet, it will happen. All in good time. All in God’s Time. For me, I trust that God will see me through no matter what happens, and I can rest content in knowing that the only thing of value is that of eternal value, and He will bring me safely home. Thank you for reminding me.

    • Your faith will result in the reward of God’s pleasure. When we return back to His arms and look in His eyes, He will show us all those years of waiting have been building up a storehouse of treasures in heaven. Blessings, dear Cherie!

  11. Bonnie – as always, SO GOOD! I know I’m in a season of waiting. Waiting for my new businesses to take flight. Waiting while God molds me into what He wants.

    Isaiah 45:9 (New International Version)

    9 “Woe to those who quarrel with their Maker,
    those who are nothing but potsherds
    among the potsherds on the ground.
    Does the clay say to the potter,
    ‘What are you making?’
    Does your work say,
    ‘The potter has no hands’?

    It’s so easy to try to help God along the way – but that never works out well. I needed this today! Bless you my friend!

    • The illustration of clay has been a picture God’s been bringing into my heart. Thank you, Carol, for sharing another prompting of His voice in this passage!

  12. I love thinking about abiding. I feel like I’m supposed to be on a track. Running. But I usually feel behind. I recognize that I have abiding times, just didn’t call them that. I spend the time ruminating on chunks of scripture. I’ve spent seven days on Philippians 4:4-9. and it’s okay.

    • Kendal, you are not only okay — your faith is soaring in spiritual value! What a treasure you are RIGHT NOW. So wonderful to abide together with beautiful heart like yours! Thank you for Phil 4:4-9!

  13. Our world seems to recognize accomplishment and what we’re doing. Success is measured in this way.

    But in God’s Kingdom it seems to be the complete opposite. You’re so right; it’s who you’re becoming. Our character development in more important to God.

    It seems that in my survival mode right now, the Lord is doing a mighty work. I don’t always get to see it but I know He is molding me and purifying me through trials. I often wonder whether people see me as a fool. But then I am so grateful when a nonbeliever says they see something different in me as I deal with my challenges. I know that is God at work in me. It’s His Holy Spirit and not Debbie and …so I learn to trust Him during these in between times.

    I love your chicken story Bonnie. A good spiritual lesson in the midst of that one. 🙂

    Blessings and love,

    • I’m happy to know blackened 500 degree chicken has had some value beyond the burnt fumes. 😉

      Love you as always, Debbie. I know God is so powerfully at work in your life, by the grace of your words.. and the transparency and honesty.

      Sounds like you are in a time of trials. Remember those of us who are walking by faith see you as WISE, VALUED. Lord, may you meet Debbie right where she is and strengthen her with the words from You.

  14. Thanks so much for this post! I have been in a holding pattern for a while now. I am starting to get tired of it and ready to “make something happen.” Thanks for the gentle reminder that abiding doesn’t push and shove to get somewhere. Praying today for the courage to abide.

  15. Perfect. Racing ahead of Jesus because He is sometimes so slow, has been a prominent motif for me. I notice that when He finally draws close when I decide it’s time to wait for Him somewhere along the path, He is not out of breath.

    Just turned 70 and thought it was time for my posts (www.gendads.com) to survey what Jesus thought of my life in The Walk and in His service. On a hike in the mountains, He had three good illustrations to remind me of and three not-so-much.

  16. Wow, what an on-time word. I have been “surviving” for the past three years and was mighty tired of it and just a little sad that I wasn’t further along. This post really encouraged me to press on.

    Much thanks!

  17. Bonnie, I must tell you I really look fwd to reading your posts coz they’re so relevant to daily life……I’m with you on my many futile attempts at ‘turning up the heat with well meaning planning and commitment’……As Pastor John Ortberg says it too that knowing God’s will for your life – “It’s not what you do but who you become”. And regarding the cranking up the oven temp, I’ve delivered a few burned and crispy dishes myself, thankfully my apple pie this week saw the light of day!! 🙂

  18. You always share such encouragement Bonnie. I don’t have the words how much your posts over the past months have encouraged me during this “in between” place I am in. We’ve never met but if we did I know I would have an instant friend. Thank you do much for the encouragement you give me when you share your heart through your stories.

  19. Bonnie,
    Another beautiful, touching, and comforting article. There is such truth in these words and such community in hearing them shared.
    God Bless,

  20. Bonnie,

    Thank you for this encouragement. I know that I’m always wanting to succeed and wanting to do big things because I listen to people instead of to God. I get frustrated when I don’t move on quicker or faster instead of asking the Lord to help me see what he is doing and wants me to do.

    I am too easily persuaded by people and what they say and need to instead listen to the Lord and what he saids. He’s not like the world and doesn’t necessarily want us to always be reaching a BIG Goal or sometimes doesn’t want us reaching a Goal at all! He wants us to be transformed by him.

    Thank you for helping me see the Truth and giving me a little nudge.

    In Christ’s Love
    Sis in Christ

  21. Bonnie,
    Your post was quite meaningful to me. I’ve just survived a short in between time in our family. And I’m rejoicing today in the fruit of that waiting time and all the prayers that people offered on our behalf. We celebrated with waffles around the breakfast table this morning. (Food is celebratory for me–the Italian in me.)

    However, I am in another in between time in my life. I’m in between blogging and pursuing serious avenues for my writing. I’m stalling the move ahead process. But I believe if I spent more time abiding in Christ, He would give me the direction, the ability to survive, and the holding in the waiting.

    I loved your definitions of abiding. It gave me a whole new picture of what it means to abide in Christ. Resting in Him, surviving this in between time.

    Thank you for this post.


  22. Such a great reminder, Bonnie! I am going to share this with my fam. I’ve been reading Genesis for months now (I’m slow, hehe) and just now noticed how much time passes in Abraham, Isaac, Jacob’s life, between each major event. I tend to think of them as having such big meaningful lives, but the more I read it, the more I realize they spent most of their time just living and trusting that God would fulfill His promises to them in His time, even if it wasn’t in their lifetime. How slow and tedious that seems now!

    Anyway, I think God finally opened my eyes to that so I can see that just because He’s given me a dream, doesn’t mean I need to be there right now.

    Thanks for even further encouragement as I try to slow down and enjoy the in-between. 🙂

  23. I was studying Psalm 46
    v.7 The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our Refuge (our Fortress and High Tower). Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]! (amplified Bible)
    I was struck at the definition for the word ‘Selah’
    Pause and think calmly of that.
    I like it
    It is like: take a breath, relax, think about who He is, this God who is leading you on this journey in the In-between place.
    And when I take the time to see then this place seems less difficult because I know with my whole being that this is the place He has put me right now, this is the time, this is the best place for me because it is what He has chosen.
    and I am thankful.
    I appreciate your article today.

    This is what I am doing is trying to pause and think calmly and not overreact. Also in the pause I remember Who is my Father and my Savior and I know I am ok
    it is like another way to choose to rest in Him

  24. Oh… oh… oh… this is soooo what I needed to read just right now. I’m in a rather painful in-between time with my husband right now because of changes that have happened, children that are growing up, and other changes that need to happen. I don’t like it. I wish there were a magic wand I could wave and fix things. I spend a lot of time trying to think up the magical words to say, or the magical thing to do in order to make things happen. But I see God at work in this in-between time, and I can see myself growing in dependance on Him. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and insight.

  25. Thank you Bonnie! I especially love the definitions of “abide.” God has been speaking to me about being held… resting… Right now our family is in training to go overseas as missionaries, so we’ll be going from one transition to another to another for much of the next year… preparing and waiting always for what’s coming next. But over and over in the last week God has been speaking to me through so many different sources of the value of being in the moment – in the present – in the now. Abiding in Him seems to speak straight to that again. Thanks for being another echo of His voice. : )

  26. Oh, Bonnie! I absolutely love, love, love this. So much of life is the in-between! I can so easily get caught up in looking ahead for the-next-big-thing, but God has shown me that in doing that I am sewing seeds of discontent and unthankfulness for all the beauty right in front of me. I also like to think of Biblical examples of waiting, like the in-between time when God told David he would be king and when he actually became king.

    You and your words are glorious, Bonnie! So love how He shines and encourages through you!

  27. this just made me smile! From the laugh out loud at 500 degree chicken to really, really good stuff about HURRY!! oh my how impatient I am!

    It seems like the past 5 years have been in-between and will continue. My husband and I left our jobs for an international mission in Eastern Europe with high school students. Since then, we’ve become full-time missionaries, raised support while living with family, moved 1000 miles away from home, gone back overseas 2 times with little ones, the last time God confirming a call to move to Eastern Europe long-term. So, I came home and put away ideas of home projects and took up the psalms…psalms 37 to be exact…

    This entire post lines up so well with the thoughts I was just writing out, a parable actually, about a gospel psalm. It is all about dwelling, trusting, delighting, WAITING PATIENTLY FOR HIM…and seeing all of our enemies wither (the Emeny) and their bows broken…

    One way to embrace the in-between is to make it absolutely impossible to survive without abiding…this is always good:) blessings, Abby:)

  28. Thank you for this message. I feel so often that I forget about the present. I remember the past and the errors I made. I plan for the future, wanting to do better. The Lord says that today is the only day we have because yesterday is gone and tomorrow is not ours.

    Thank you for the reminder.
    A sister in Christ,

  29. I know not to rush baking…but to not rush God? Yeah, I’m still learning that lesson. In a way, I’m living the proof that I haven’t learned that lesson. Thanks for a timely reminder to wait on Him (pun intended =D).

  30. Bonnie-
    This is exactly what I needed to hear. I asked GOD to encourage my family and I in this walk of faith. It has been 4 years plus as we have been walking in faith by what we believe we are supposed to be doing. One tough part about our walk is that people don’t agree with our stand. GOD himself has become our best friend. It is difficult to discuss the ups and the downs with only the three of us because we would love to share with others. We have not found others that will support us in faith. Our faith is strong and we do believe in HIS time he will bring those with HIS wisdom and faith to us. We believe we would rather go down betting on GOD than listening to the opinions of the world. We are in the world but not part of it. We believe HIS ways are so much higher and do not let what’s going on in the world to dictate to us how we will do. The economy, our health etc. I believe what HIS word says.Timing is everything and HE knows everything that concerns my family, so we continue to trust regardless of what the enemy throws our way. Thank you for your words of encouragement!

  31. Dear Bonnie- my husband has been looking for a job for almost 5 months- talk about an in-between time of life. It’s been hard, but has has been providing for us every step of the way. I love the that abidding includes surviving, because some days survival is good enough.
    Thank you for sharing your writing me. It makes a difference in my life.

  32. Beautiful Bonnie, I’m back after a bit of unplugging for my birthday. And your post is the perfect way to start this year. I love that abide means “to be held”. You are so good at listening to the Spirit, at bringing us back to timeless truth in oh-so-timely ways. Love you, friend.

  33. I made a green chili stew with our javalina meat. I misread the ingredients and put sugar instead of salt into it. I had to offset it by piling on the salt. It turned out pretty good still, but we laugh about that; that, and the time I misread the directions and put too much mustard so the mustard/honey ratio was so off, the chinese chicken I made turned out quite lip twisting. LOL

  34. Bonnie, as much as I love all the other contributors to incourage, I must tell you that I can always tell one of your posts about two sentences into it. You speak in a way my heart hears and I thank you so much for your faithful sharing of life. It seems like God gives you just what I need to hear. Especially today. I needed to hear what abide meant. I am just surviving right now and struggle with thinking God must be disappointed in me for not being tougher. It is all good things–little children and a much-longed for pregnancy after a miscarriage but I am so tired and sick. And waiting and praying that all this sick will lead to a child in my arms, unlike last time. Thank you for reminding me that God wants my heart and not my accomplishments– which I know but seem to forget I know.

  35. Thanks Bonnie!! I appreciate your writing this article for us. May our Lord bless you abundantly. love, Darlene

  36. Im just nodding my head in agreement on this side…this is all so true. I feel like I’ve become a master at speeding up things….uugghhh- not a good quality 🙁

  37. Oh thank you for this, God used this to minister to me. I’m living in my “in-between” time right now. Not sure what I’m supposed to be doing, hating where I work and just begging God to show me direction, but it’s not about doing it’s just about being. He’s molding and changing me into who He wants me to be and just surviving and waiting is what I’m supposed to do, for now. Thank you for this post.


  38. Wow! Never quite thought of this journey as an inbetween time, but it definetly gives me a new perspective. Right now I am in a in between time. You see my husband of fourteen years left me about two months ago, it has been revealed that he had an affair and the woman got pregnant. The world has told me to move on, divorce him God will send someone else. A part of me thinks about that at times but in everything that I feel from God, He tells me to sit still and wait. So that is where I am, God is most assuredly moving in my life, He is changing me in just the past couple of months almost completely. The way I think, believe and know Him I can not believe that I have been so blind for all of these years. I am learning so much about who God is and that there is nothing that I can do or not do that will change that. I am learning that He is my best friend the only one who loves me for me and He is healing me and teaching me to forgive and to have fruit in His Spirit. It has been a long painful journey, but God is so awesome. I have no idea where He is taking me, and that is okay because I am learning that wherever He does lead me is much better than anything I could ever imagine. Thanks for all you do! May God bless you and yours!