As a spindly, needy little girl, I longed for love. Ached for it, really. It took fifteen years until I understood the love I needed was Jesus, all Jesus. But as I trace my way to Him, I see some compelling, surprising patterns in my music choices.
While my world collapsed around me (I share my whole story in my memoir Thin Places), I sang. Olivia Newton John’s songs captured my heart as I gave my young voice to them. But the songs that stand out to me in retrospect seemed to be part of God’s plan to woo me.
Three songs.
Love is the Answer by England Dan and John Ford Coley
The second verse and subsequent chorus both haunted me, yet gave me hope: Who knows why someday we all must die. We’re all homeless boys and girls and we are never heard. It’s such a lonely, lonely, lonely world. People turn their heads and walk on by. Tell me is it worth just another try. Chorus: Light of the world, shine on me. Love is the answer. Shine on us all. Set us free. Love is the answer.
Popular in 1979, I was 12 years old, two years after the tragic death of my father. His death stunned me. Wrecked me. Reminded me I would die too. I feared hell. I feared death. I feared everything. As an only child, I embodied loneliness. Yet here were the words that kept circling through me: the answer was Love.
Do Right by Paul Davis
Verse one says: I know that He gave His life for me, so I want to do right, want to do right all of my life.
The year? 1980. I’d be 13 that year. I’d contemplate suicide far too many times. My home, consisting of my mother, me, and my stepfather, was crumbling and would soon die to divorce. My step dad would be gone, and I’d suffer another loss of a father. Yet this song reminded me that someone out there loved me enough to die for me. I hadn’t yet connected the dots, but the hunger inside me to know love like this nearly exploded me.
Real Love by the Doobie Brothers
The chorus sums up my life: When you say comfort me to anyone who approaches, chalkin’ up the hurt. We live and learn. Well we’ve both lived long enough to know that we’d trade it all right now for just one minute of real love.
This song released the same year, my suicide year. I was the girl who ran to anyone, seeking comfort. I’d had two boyfriends by then, hoping to be filled. But once each kissed me, and I recoiled, I broke up in fear. I knew enough from the past that boys who kissed were not to be trusted. So I really had nowhere to turn. I couldn’t run after my parents–my mom was busy with a career and my stepfather would be leaving. My father was gone. I didn’t have many friends, though I was desperate for them.
I became a sponge, dried and curled by the sun, bereft of water, seeking the water of love, but seldom receiving it. But when I heard, then sang this song to the car radio, I learned hope. Hope that someday I’d find real love.
I found it three years later. Found Jesus the One who dared to die for spindly me. Found the Father who would never leave me or die. Found the Holy Spirit who would be my constant companion.
I wept my prayer to a star-pocked sky under the protective branches of a large tree. “God, if You are there, and I know You are, take me. All of me. I’m Yours. Really.” And then I let the weight of all that grief fall away–of fifteen years of longing for love songs to be true.
I found a lifetime of real love. I met the Light of the world. I truly knew that He gave his life for me.
The clues of wooing were there all the time, strung together by notes and voices, sung by men who didn’t know they were part of God’s love song to me.
By Mary DeMuth at MaryDeMuth.com.
Leave a Comment
Susanne says
Thank you for posting those songs. The song “Do Right” by Paul Davis was one of my favorite songs but I’d forgotten all about it and who sang it. Thank you so much for reminding me about God’s love and this song!
Mary DeMuth says
That’s cool that I reminded you of the artist!
Heather Gemmen Wilson says
I hope everyone reads THIN PLACES, Mary. It’s still one of my favorite books.
Mary DeMuth says
Heather, you make me smile. Thank you!
Beth Williams says
Powerful, emotional post!!!
Great song lyrics. I, too, gravitate toward song lyrics to get me through tough times!
Mary DeMuth says
There’s something powerful about songs and our lives.
Writeroo says
Lyrics all the way. If they’re not true to me at the time, then the song despite the music doesn’t hold as much of a place in my heart!
erinbeth says
Wow. I could have written this myself. I haven’t read your book, but now I want to; we have a lot it common it seems.
Mary DeMuth says
Erin, I pray you’ve encountered amazing amounts of healing through Jesus!
Kim Sullivan says
I am about the same age as you. Yes, I remember those particular songs and feeling much the same as you…a real drawing and hope toward the reality of God.
I don’t personally acknowledge a demarcation between sacred and secular. I think God is in all and uses all for His purposes, especially art.
Thanks for reminding me of those days and God’s pursuit of me, even then.
Mary DeMuth says
I agree. Great point, Kim. God is everywhere, and as creator, He is often seen through what others create.
Craig says
First – I am old enough to have been head over heels magically in love with the very earliest versions of Olivia Newton John (sigh),
That being said “Light of the world, shine on me. Love is the answer” – amen and amen.
I have found this so true through the years – the secular love songs – almost every one can be turned into a worship song. I guess it’s not the song – it’s the ears that hear and the heart that loves and the faith to believe.
Happy “in the words of every love song” Valentine’ Day everybody
Mary DeMuth says
That’s so true about love songs, Craig. I used to do that in high school, converting songs to worship songs.
Gina Dalfonzo says
That was lovely, Mary. I love it when a song on the radio “speaks to me” — it’s happened too many times to count! 🙂
Mary DeMuth says
I do too, Gina.
Kristen@Moms Sharpening Moms says
Oh Mary…this has me bawling. I will never get over how our God who created the universe cares for us so tenderly but powerfully. This is beautiful. Beautiful!
Mary DeMuth says
I’m just so grateful He found me.
Tweets that mention Love Songs Wooed me to Jesus -- Topsy.com says
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Gina Dalfonzo, Mary DeMuth and (in)courage , Mary DeMuth. Mary DeMuth said: Love songs wooed me to Jesus. Guest post on @incourage http://bit.ly/hDnYGg Do you have a song God used to bring you to Him? […]
Sarah Markley says
love thin places.
love you.
and i love when God sings those songs to me too.
Mary DeMuth says
Sarah dear, thanks for your kind, amazing, sweet words. Amen.
Abby says
Mary,
This so simply and beautifully and profoundly sums up the reaches of His wooing love. I am just amazed that you share three songs and a big chunk of life so well in so little words. I praise Him that you are here to testify. That you have lived this testimony and bless so many.
And I hear the stories, some we hear audibly, and many that are silent but we know that they are there, in the teenagers we work with…’the harvest is plentiful’ for I know He loves them all enough to woo them as He did you.
Thank you.
Mary DeMuth says
Yes, oh how He loves them all. Keep up the life transforming work with teens!
Living the Balanced Life says
Lovely songs, sweet story. I am just a few years older than you and my story is not the same, but the pain is much the same, and the hurt and looking for someone to love me, someone I could trust not to leave and not to hurt me. I found that someone at 17. And thru His love I found my husband who has been there and loved me as much as any human being possibly could.
Thanks for sharing…
Bernice
Letting go of who I thought I was supposed to be
Mary DeMuth says
So glad you found love in all the right places, Bernice!
gitz says
I haven’t read your book yet, but am now anxious to… thank you for sharing your heart and your story. There is no greater love than His, but you are spreading His love beautifully.
Mary DeMuth says
If you read it, let me know what you think. May it bless you!
Jeanine says
I’m older than you, but know all those songs quite well. I even had two of the albums. You’re the first person that I’ve heard talk about them. Brings back a lot of memories and some troubled years for myself too, but thanks to God for making Himself known to us and rescuing us!
Mary DeMuth says
Yes, amen to your last sentence.