About the Author

Jesus is a patient friend to Julie, a hopeful missionary mom in Asia. Her hands are open and empty. And his love isn't anything like she expected.

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  1. Such an encouraging reminder–God knows us and notices us. I’ve been saying a similar prayer this week, “Help me and please send help!” 🙂 I’m so glad He always hears.

  2. I loved this, Julie, and I will pray for you this morning as I head to my church to worship. Your post made me thankful for a God who reaches out to us first–who CALLS us. Isn’t that amazing? It’s nothing to do with us. It’s all God.

  3. Julie,
    This is such a beautiful post. I love the part about the onlookers becoming eyes for the sightless man.

    So true, so as we are to be for one another.

    Thank you,


  4. Beautiful post! My husband is in the Dominican as I type this on a mission trip. I, too, have been there. It amazes me how the beauty of God and the squalor of the world can be so juxtaposed against each other. The people there taught me how to see more with the eyes of Jesus……which led me to see the jewels buried in the hurt.
    Our family lived overseas also…but under far different circumstances. We were in Switzerland for 4 years and didn’t experience the outward poverty. We did see the spirtiual poverty however and it saddened us. Our children were 5, 3 and 5months old when we moved there. I can identify with the difficulty of assimilating into a different culture. Our 1st week there, I was alone for days with sick children, and I can remember acutally putting the Bible under my pillow because I was so scared and angry,…..it’s all I could think to do.
    Thanks for sharing this beautiful post!

  5. I was thinking of and praying for you guys earlier this morning. God had placed you on my mind/heart even before I read this honest, wonderful blog….Thanks for sharing your heart. Know that we love you and are praying for you!

  6. Julie,

    You have been on my heart and mind. Please know I am praying for you. Thank you for sharing your heart with us. We miss seeing you and your beautiful family.

  7. Hi Julie,

    Thanks for sharing from your heart. I am to talk to some new prospective missionaries this week for the Vision Retreat and again at Chestnut Mtn Church on Friday evening. If you don’t mind I’d like to share some from your writing, for you captured so very well the agony of soul that most new missionaries feel during their first year. I’m to talk on the missionary’s calling in each setting. If we don’t have that firm sense of calling, we can easily wither under it all. But knowing that Jesus is calling and desperately wants to minister to us in our moment of need makes it all possible.

    Thanks. May the Lord show His love to you today is some special way.–Paul

    • Hello Paul,
      I don’t know you I really appreciate what you wrote in your msge to Julie.
      Thank you.

  8. Julie, my heart goes out to you as I read your words. I have experienced the same at times. I know the desperate feeling of life on the mission field, especially during the initial months. (In fact, I plotted my escape! I figured I could walk all the way from South America back to the US! — That was before I fell in love with the place and the work God called me to.) Paul Taylor, above, captured it so well: “the agony of the soul that most new missionaries feel during their first year.” Like he said, “If we don’t have that firm sense of calling, we can easily wither under it all.” I pray that you have a good human support system nearby and that those people will stand beside you while God and His Word walk you through this season and into the next. I pray God will eventually let you fall in love with what He has called you to do.

    The Lord bless you and keep you and cause His face to shine upon you and give you peace,


  9. Julia, I hear you!!!!!!! I to feel the same pressures even here in the US! I have taken to “meditation” on Phil4:13. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” The bold truth is we can only bring God sin and helplessness as our gifts. Go ahead and relax because you are in way over your head!! Just admit it and die! Jesus will carry you!!!! He carries me everyday!

  10. Dear Heavenly Father,

    I pray for my sister Julie that she will remain strong in the Lord and his mighty power. I pray she will use the full armor of God, so she can stand against the devil’s schemes. Help remind her our struggles are not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, authorities, against powers of this dark world, and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore, may she put on the full armor of God, so when the days of evil comes, she will have done everything to stand on firm ground. May the belt of truth remain buckled around her waist and the breastplate of righteousness firmly in place. May her feet remain fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. May she take up the shield of faith to calm her fears and to extinguish the flaming arrows of the evil one. May she put on the helmet of salvation for her to know that YOU have started this work and YOU have put her in this place and YOU will see her through, until the day she is called home. May the sword of the spirit always pierce her soul so that she will continue to hunger for the Word of God. Lastly, may she always remain alert and always pray honestly her feelings and for the people of S. Asia. I pray her words to the people of Asia will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which we are all in chains.

    In the name of Jesus Christ, the Holy Lamb of God I pray!

    • How beautiful Gus!… I join you in prayer for our sister Julie and her family in S. Asia!
      HE is Worthy!

  11. We love you Jules… I nominate you the official heart spokesperson for our team. Give our love to all.


  12. Julie,

    As an elder in your church, I want to assure you that we pray for you and David regularly, both in the stated prayer meeting and in our home as we pray through our weekly list. We know something about the dusty heat of March in that part of South Asia, having visited four times over the past 20 or so years. Our children were grown by the time we first traveled to South Asia, and our visits were short compared to your need to stay and acclimate over time. We appreciate your honesty and your determination to follow Him who called you. May the Lord of the harvest reward you with strength and a knowledge of His presence as you face each new day.

  13. I was SO moved by your post! I am lifting you up your ‘broken and homesick heart’ today and will do so tomorrow as well….and each and every time HE puts you on my mind! Ps 62:1-2

  14. Your honesty is refreshing. Thank you Julie and David for your work for the kingdom.

  15. I love that God always hears us. . .even in a “land of cobras and infectious diseases and more trash than I have ever seen.”

    Loved the description in your writing.

  16. Julie,

    I love your honesty! That is refreshing and informs us how to pray for you.
    Love and prayers, Marion

  17. Julie, I love your heart and that you don’t try to dress up things, but you share the raw reality of your everyday life. Jesus said “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it.” (Luke 9:24) Thank you for losing your life and following Christ in a land of inconveniences and poverty that is far far away from family and friends that you love. We love you guys and pray for you and trust Him to meet you all where He has called you. Keep being real, my friend. He is using you on both sides of the world.

  18. Julie, I love your heart and that you don’t try to dress up things, but you share the raw reality of your everyday life. Jesus said “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it.” (Luke 9:24) Thank you for losing your life and following Christ in a land of inconveniences and poverty that is far far away from family and friends that you love. We love you guys and pray for you and trust Him to meet you all where He has called you. Keep being real, my friend. He is using you on both sides of the world.

  19. Jules,
    loved this

    post as I always
    Love your writing…completely real and thought provoking. I can so relate to the wonder of why I have so much and others so little….at the least it is certainly to share with others…it is a very vey difficult concept and one that I certainly came face to face with in my time there. Praying for you all. His, jackie sue

  20. as always, this is beautiful Julie. miss you guys, but it’s great to hear these thoughts from your heart. congrats on being published! -steph C

  21. Julie,
    Thanks for giving expression to the reality we all feel, and for the answer we must continually remind ourselves and each other of – Jesus. Simple and beautiful. Thanks.

  22. Jules,
    You have such a gift with words and people. We miss you all and it’s hard for me to hear you struggling, but your honesty is so refreshing in this world of facades. We’re praying for you guys and I know that God will meet you right where you are.
    Anne & Nick

  23. You are living my dream, as weird as that may seem…I have a great desire to move my family to somewhere extreme so we can gain those experiences together (I had plenty of them on my own before getting married). And yet, I see so much of the struggles you are having with the lord and your husband in my own life in suburban America and chastise myself for thinking a change of location will make my attitude any better. Hang in there. Cling to your husband because he’s what you have and he’ll be there in the end. Good luck making peace with the Lord and your heart.

    Thanks for sharing your story.

  24. Julie, Thank you for sharing your heart and all that the Father is doing in you and yes, indeed – through you. I love you, sweet sister, and do talk to the Father on your behalf. Oh – for a visit to hear your voice, your thoughts, your heart, but, yes – as you have said. He hears you and is calling your name. Good on ya for running to Him over and over.

    Hope to visit soon – maybe by Skype in the next couple of weeks?

    Sue, for John as well

  25. stay strong in your faith. with god’s help you will be amazed at what you can do.

  26. Dear Julie, Your heart cry is heard by God and by those who love you. I suspect many already anticipated such needs and have been praying for your family accordingly. Even though my struggles seem insignificant compared to yours, my heart joins yours for the people there and your situation, I will pray Jesus’ promise to those who would follow him faithfully – “And surely I am with you always to the very end of the age.” (Matt.28:20) DL Moody once said “tarry at a promise and God will meet you there”. With much love and in Christ alone, Jeff

  27. Julie,
    Thanks for your honesty. It really helps me to know better how to pray for you and your family. We miss and love y’all.

  28. Precious Julie, I rejoice that your gifted ability to write has been posted for so many to read. Your authentic self, your heart to cry out to God, your heart to love well and your heart to be touched by our LORD is clear. Know of my love and prayers, and yes, I am so proud of you for being open and honest that others can know, pray and be prepared.

  29. So glad you are writing Julie- you have such a special way with words and express this process and experience you are going though in a beautiful and genuine way. I am encouraged and challenged by your writing!

  30. We were deeply moved by the expressions which gushed from your vulnerable heart. Thank you for following the example of the psalmist who put his honest questions, doubts, fears, burdens on paper for ALL to see and read. I think, for example of Psalm 69 where he opens with a barrage from his gut, from his heart: “Save me, O God! For the waters have come up to my neck…I sink…I am weary with my crying out; my throat is parched. My eyes grow dim with waiting for my God….mighty are those who would destroy me…O God, you know my folly; the wrongs I have done are not hidden from you….But as for me, my prayer is to you, O LORD…in the abundance of your steadfast love answer me in your saving faithfulness. Deliver me from sinking in the mire…Answer me , O LORD…Hide not your face from your servant; for I am in distress; make haste to answer me. Draw near to my soul, redeem me; ransom me from my enemies!” Than read of the resolution the Lord brought him. It thrills me that you have an intimate knowledge of David’s God. We pray for you so often and can hardly wait to hear, in “Installment No. 2” just how the Lord ministered to you in His faithfulness and steadfast, unchanging love!

    In the grip of His grace,
    Judy and Bruce Fiol

  31. Julie,
    Thank you so much for sharing from your heart and being vulnerable. I am not in a dusty dirty country surrounded by poverty but life is hard because my daughter is in treatment for the third time for addiction to alcohol. Insurance won’t pay and I am broke. I get angry and yell at my wife when I am not even angry at my wife. She just happens to be there when I explode and I because I know she understands. But I am not angry at God either. I am angry at my daughter, which I need to get over and have the Holy Spirit fill my heart with grace. I cry to God. I am scared that my daughter may succumb again to this huge monster of addiction and I am afraid it will eat her alive and she will never be the person God wants her to be. And then He whispers to me; be still, be anxious for nothing. This is nothing within my sovereign hands. And someday, the disparity of wealth between the rich and the poor, no matter how real it is right now, no matter how it smells or tastes, one day will be made right. Grace and protection to you and David.

  32. Thanks Julie. I need to remember that God sees me, too. Many blessings on you, David, and your babies.

  33. Julie, We miss you guys so much, but I am so glad you listen to God. Your words are His words and they are encouraging words. When we are weak He is strong. And I see His strength in you. We are praying for you and your family. I pray you see God’s Grace working in your lives and those that surround you. I love you and will see you soon.

  34. Dear Julie,
    Living abroad often overwhelms our preconceived comfort zones. Try hard to see the beauty in the things around you and apprectiate the journey the Lord has carved out for you. This will change the four of you into the people God wants you to be.