About the Author

Sarah Mae has a past that would be her present if it weren’t for Jesus. A blogger, author, and co-author of Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe, she’s currently writing The Complicated Heart, a book for broken-hearted lovers of Jesus. Learn more at @thecomplicatedheart on Instagram or...

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  1. Sarah,
    Thank you for posting this! I thanked God for choosing this morning to have it posted. You see, I feel like I have failed as a mother. I feel as if I have become my mother, a person I have never wanted to become. My daughter wrote me a note last night, left it on my bed telling me I always yell at her, how she is afraid to talk to me, how she has considered living with her father. And the truth is, I have been really hard on her lately. And I’m afraid its what is coming through from my childhood. I’ve heard you parent the way you were parented but I do not want that to be true! I have to change my pattern now. She is growing into a lovely young lady and I have to do things differently but how? You said it above, find an older woman to learn from. I have that and I have sent her an email last night asking for her help with this matter. I can’t go to my mother for help, it is not an option or desire. So I have to go to God and my friends and hope I can turn it around. I do not want my children to feel they can’t talk to me. I am the product of that and it has been detrimental in many areas of my life.

    Thanks for the post!

    • You are not alone, keep on it, Mama. Realizing our faults is already a huge step. I’ve been there – it will get better! Lean on Him and yes, find a Godly mentor. It may not be your Mom – it often isn’t. xo

    • Lisa, friend, I am praying with you today and as you come to my mind.

      consider reading this: corelies.com (it helped me tremendously!)

      Hang in there! Your daughter is still open to you or she wouldn’t have written you. You have the throne of grace to go before.

      Love you.

      • Your boldness to makes change shows great courage. Be encouraged “Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness” Lamentations 3:22-23

  2. This was beautifully written. Thank you for your words. I have been on a difficult journey through motherhood and have been blogging my way through the refining process. I think I am probably going to link back to this as I believe it will be an encouragement to many. Thank you!

  3. Ah, so true and so refreshing to remember. I especially appreciated the reminder that our job is to lead them to Him, for He is the only one who can teach and train and love them perfectly. Thank you!

  4. Love that. I may not be a mom yet and I don’t know when the baby bug will hit me but it’s encouraging to be reminded that God uses mothers to lead their children to Him.

  5. I love this, thank you! Needed to hear it this morning! Our pastor spoke this week about having a team of ‘mentors’ – he used Football to illustrate (lol). Always have a Linesman (someone where you’re at), a rookie (someone YOU can mentor), and a … hm. Some one older and wiser (I’m NOT a Football girl! HA! But, someone who can mentor you who has been there). I’m seeking this and I think it’s a great idea. 🙂 Thank you for the post – can’t wait to read the book. Heaven knows I need me some Martha AND Mary. 😉

  6. A sweet reminder for today. Takes a lot of pressure off, I feel! I love your quote and also just clicked over to your book site and immediately posted it to Facebook. I can’t wait to read it!

  7. I am thankful His mercies are new EVERYDAY and thank thankful for the community that surrounds the journey of motherhood. Your encouragement today is much needed.
    With Joy, Carey

  8. Ahh, how I’ve been learning about GRACE the last few months, especially about such ‘mom’ stuff! It sure does complicate things much less if you grasp hold of it, doesn’t it?! My Pastor has been teaching about being “WEiRD”- why normal isn’t working for Christians – and last weekend was talking about trappings of ‘conforming to the norm’: 1) The inward pressure needing to please. 2) The outward pressure of criticism. “Becoming obsessed with what people think about you is the quickest way to forget what God thinks about you! Don’t live for the opinions of people! Live for God and get WEIRD!” ( http://www.lifechurch.tv/watch/weird/2 )
    Thanks, Sarah Mae!

  9. No matter what, we can’t ‘parent away’ our children’s need for God – and that is the ultimate desire, that they come to know and love our Lord from an early age. Thank you for this reminder that what I have will be enough, God will fill in where I fail.

  10. speaking as a mom of grown chldren…who once actually tho’t it might be possible to parent “right”…I can only say, “Amen!” to what you said Sarah Mae! As I look back, I can see many failures, but God’s grace took over! For that I am so grateful. At times, we get so deeply involved in “parenting skills” that we forget the importance of the work that God needs to do in hearts of our children.
    Sarah, your second piece of advice is also very true: making time to know an older woman and getting her perspective and wisdom. I didn’t always have it available and didn’t always appreciate it when i did. One way it will help you as a younger mother in the middle of raising children is that she will be able to be much more objective about some of the problems you are upset about…and possibly emphasize the importance of some things you aren’t taking as seriously. The most helpful thing she can do: take you to Jesus! (rather than be dependent on her.)
    i’m looking forward to checking out your book Sarah Mae. From what I’ve been reading about it, it looks like it is attempting to get to the heart of the matter re cleaning house…and it is NOT to have a perfectly clean and in order house!

  11. I really like this, thanks so much for sharing. As a somewhat new mother (my son is 13 months), I’m already feeling bombarded by all the responsibility of raising a Godly child. It is so wonderful to be reminded to turn to God and let Him do the perfect parenting, while I love brokenly. 🙂

  12. Nope, I can’t do it either.
    Praying, praying, praying for Grace, for Holy Spirit Wisdom.

    ‘Cause this whole mommy-thing is just HARD.

    My 6 yr old is making his own lunch for aftn cottage-school classes. I’m still in my jammies, so is my 4 yr old and 2 yr old. The only school lessons I’ve helped with today so far are first-grade sight words…
    But right now? Right now they’re all outside in the sandbox, and I actually got all the tax stuff sent off, and there are potatoes in process for lunch, and the baby is napping, and maybe I’ll actually go potty & brush my teeth & get dressed now.
    Calgon, anyone?

    Thanks for commiserating with us, Sarah Mae!
    Teri

  13. Thanks for the good reminder that the only one who can do it is Christ and he can use us as a vessel for his benefit. Don’t let yourself get in God’s way.

  14. So very, very true Sarah, and He is always waiting there to catch us and love us. 🙂
    blessings, karen:)

  15. I keep wondering why I think I should be ‘perfect’ at this. God gave us the perfect example…with the first parents. Adam/Eve walked with God, yet look at their sons….

    I amthankful for God’s grace….and I remember that my children and I are both seeking what was lost in the Garden…..Glory and a relationship that goes beyond all relationships…one with our Heavenly Father.

    I fall short daily….yet, I ask for their forgiveness…I pray for God to undo the hurts I cause….and I keep my knees on the ground in his service and Give Thanks for these miracles he has entrusted to me….and it’s humbling!

    Thank you for this post….it is a sweet way to end my evening…..and tomorrow night, I will be surrounded by women who have walked this road before me, who always know how to wipe away my tears and be Titus women….teaching me how to love my children and my husband!

  16. I had an incident recently where I fell victim to “MOMMY PRIDE”. You know, the idea that I am in control of my son and that I can keep him from sinning.
    Yikes.
    If you’d like to read this post it is called “THE ULTIMATE COACH” at http://www.heseesme.wordpress.com .
    I pray that it may bless some other sweet mom today.
    Thank you for this excellent reminder that God is in control. Always.