Sometimes, I close my eyes and remember the beach house where my family vacationed in my teen years. The ocean roars at high tide, lapping our bottom step. The screened-in porch is magically cool, no matter the heat or humidity. The hammock in the corner swings in the slightest breeze…
Then the football I hid two days ago slams into my stomach, causing me to jump and spill my lukewarm coffee on myself and the couch. I look up, angry, to see three sheepish little boys, waiting for my reaction.
Ah, reality.
I don’t know what I thought life with three sons would be like. Honestly, if I had known the truth when the ultrasound showed two boys to add to the one at home—well, I probably would have run screaming. If I could have run. Which I couldn’t. Because I was fat. And on bedrest.
So, obviously, God knew what He was doing. But how does an introvert, used to calm, peace, and order, deal with the sudden life of four (including Hubby) energetic vibrant boys with no comprehension of personal space, inside voices, or cleanliness.
There is constant movement and noise, and I daily battle to keep my own identity is this sea of testosterone. To be fair, Hubby battles with me, constantly teaching the boys how to handle Mommy.
Some days, of course, it all falls apart. There have been times when I just gave up, turned on the TV, handed out the fast food and fell asleep in the middle of the mess. Does guilt set in when I wake? Almost always.
But, every once in a while, I listen to the quiet voice in my heart.
My burden is easy and my yoke is light.
I will never leave you nor forsake you.
I rejoice over you with singing.
My banner over you is love.
Every once in a while, the truth that I belong to Jesus takes hold. When those moments come, it’s so much easier to evaluate the rest of my world. I can more clearly see through bad behavior to good intentions, through the mess to the one (small) clean spot, into the quiet of the four souls God gave me to love.
So, how does an introvert deal? The answer is so simple, so “Sunday-school,” but also so profoundly true.
Jesus.
Monica, In the Whisper
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Ahhh beautiful wise words here. Thank you for reminding us of the simplest and best truth.
I love your transparency, Monica, it is precious. Thankfully, we have a gracious God who understands when we are at our mommy limit. That’s when He picks US up and carries on. I think that is the point, really, in the long run, isn’t it? He IS mighty to SAVE.
As always Monica…moved and inspired by your honest vulnerable beautiful heart. Love you friend!
After growing up a Tom boy and never really understanding the girlie part of life God threw me a curve ball when he blessed me with 4 girls. I was scared of children with disabilities until again God blessed me with one. Now my life is blessed further than my wildness dreams. I see now the limits I laid on myself were because I could only see so far. Thankfully God has eternity in his view.
Lovely, tender truth…words we Mommies so need to hear!