He can hear my voice and find me. I can peek around the corner to check on him, and he instantly locks his eyes with mine. They call it tracking. It seems important. My pediatrician asks me about it on each scheduled visit. I nonchalantly nod my head that this does, in fact, seem to be happening in our house.
I am the center of his world. My youngest baby boy can spot me across a crowded room. He can hear my voice and a smile spreads across his face. It is a smile he holds just for me. His eyes light up searching me out. Mine is a voice that he listens for intently and calms his cries.
I think to myself, do I have this center to my world? Am I searching for a small voice that can ease all my worries? Is there a something I am searching for that is held just for me? Is my heart trying to find something, in this crazy, hectic world, that will lead me to be more than I am?
I do. It is Him.
His is the voice that will calm my fears. He was a Son that was given to soothe all of my sins. His Father gave Him to me to be the center of my world. I am searching all through this world for answers that will subdue my questions. But, never will my inquiries be appeased if I don’t seek Him. I am tracking Him and His path. Some days it is easy to follow. At other moments, I find myself walking through the tall brush that lies on either side of this clear trail.
In the clearing it is easy to trust. It is easy to rest. It is easy to follow, but, how quickly this ease can turn to doubt. We can look around and see Him working in the lives of others. Others are able to follow the path effortlessly, while I am struggling with my way. My way seems blurry, bumpy, and broken.
As I was talking with a dear friend the other night, she said she is so in love with His words…with His way. She can’t get enough of His stories. She wants to pass His wisdom on to her daughters with ease just as her mother and father did for her as a child. Oh, how wonderful this sounds. How richly my dear friend is to be blessed to have a heritage such as this. How can I get there?
For the past 35 years, the center of my world has generally been me. I have focused upon my needs, my wants, and my desires. I have never really given up on myself. I have made sure that I have what I want. But, what if there is more? How can He use me to be more? To give more? To help more?
It is heartwarming to be the center of someone else’s world. Yet, a tricky place to be as well. I am moving through my days trying to fill big shoes each day. I am trying to follow Him while leading them. I want to pass the center of my world on to be the center of their world. I am hoping that in following the good, I am able to let the bad fall away. Focusing on this center is hard. Please don’t let me give up. And, I pray that He won’t give up on me.
Who is the center of your world?
By: Morgan @ Roots Below~ Sky Above
Leave a Comment
This was great.. Thank you so much. I needed this reminder.
Thanks…I always need a reminder!
Thank you, Susie.
Thank you – so so beautiful! Overwhelmed by how this is speaking to me
– God bless you.
Morgan Curlee says
Many thanks! It’s my first time writing here, and I have all kinds of jitters. Really appreciate your kindness!!
So true. Our calling as mothers can be overwhelming at times. I just wrote a similar post, how funny! My way seems ‘blurry, bumpy and broken’ too, at times. You’re not alone!! Thanks for sharing your heart.
Some days are overwhelming and others are too, too sweet. Thanks for your kind words!
Love it Mo!!! So proud of you…miss ya!!
Kathy B says
Girrrl, you rock! You write beautifully. When I saw that you had emailed this morning, my first thought was, “My, she’s up and at it early.” 🙂 And boy, were you!
I love the reminder of the wonder of tracking. I told someone recently that one of my biggest motivators over the last two decades has been the little faces that kept looking up at me with such dependence. I would tell the Lord I wasn’t good/nice/strong enough for this mom- job. Then each day I’d wake up and say, “Well, Lord, You didn’t fire me so let’s get on with this ‘change-thing'”. I’m grateful beyond words that He just kept showing up every morning shortly before oatmeal and Similac and gave me some of Himself to share with my needy, darling little brood.
Happy, Happy Mother’s Day!
Kathy…you make me smile! You would never be fired, I’m sure of that! What an excellent job you did…the proof is in the pudding…your sweet Anna is a dear! Thanks for stopping by today. Missing my Tuesday mornings with you and the other ladies!!
Kristen@Chasing Blue Skies says
Oh YES…to pass on His wisdom with ease. Beautiful statement right there. May all us mothers (bio moms and spiritual moms!) make His life and love a natural part of ours!
Jenny Bresnahan says
Such a beautiful way with words!! ~ I love this!! ~ so inspiring. I have four monkeys 🙂 as well and so have a heart for children – love it when they can speak of His famous Name. Don’t you know He feels that way for each one of us… loving it when we adults call upon His famous Name? Keep writing – I’m in for reading your thoughts all the time!!
p.s. I miss our Tuesdays as well – I heard Beth Moore has a new study on James coming out in the fall – YIPPEE!!!
Lisa Hayward says
Morgan, absolutely beautiful! You have a gift for writing, so keep doing it. I miss seeing your smiling face on Tuesdays.
Boys are awesome, aren’t they? My 2 just melt my heart everyday as they are such blessings. Sometimes I don’t know what God was thinking when He entrusted them to me as I completely relate about being self-centered. But He continues to change me from the inside out and is equipping me for this journey!
Weeks 22-24: Counting Gifts… « Moments & Memories says
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