About the Author

Heather is a NC girl that married her best friend almost 12 years ago. Her and her husband are both home school graduates and have carried on to the next generation. She spends her time at home educating her three children ages 10,8 and 7, preferably outdoors. She blogs about...

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  1. Taking a deep breath (you said you’re a hospitality hater–I’m a hospitality hyperventilator! Ha!) Love how you talked about the spiritual AND practical sides of hospitality. Great info and insights! A jar of Nutella is an appetizer, right?? 🙂

    • Haha, too funny! Yes, Nutella is an appetizer, you serve it on your best silver spoon and lick it off…then get another spoon and repeat the process (optional:)

      Smiling.

  2. What a great post. I’m in the process of having a small get together at my new small home. I’m excited, but like you, I never have people over. My mom didn’t entertain at all unless it was family on Thanksgiving or Christmas.

    So as I’m sitting here reading this post and drinking my coffee….I raise my mug for a toast. Toasting to many happy and fun entertainment days!

    • “My mom didn’t entertain at all unless it was family on Thanksgiving or Christmas.” This was my family too. Good luck in all your memory making, entertaining adventures!

  3. I struggle with this so much. We have 4 homeschooled-kids, 4 cats and a dog residing within our home. Our furniture has been “redecorated” by one of our cats and not in a good way might I add. Because of this, we have slip covers over our furniture. When I go over to my “friends” homes, they have the nicest furniture and their rooms are nicely decorated. We on the other hand are very simple people. I don’t know how to take pride in my home to allow people to come over. I don’t want to be judged for the way my furniture looks and the way my house is a mess. I also have lots of friends who do not like pets. That is not something I can do anything about. I don’t mind having family over, but others I have a very hard time with. Hopefully this is something I can move past.

  4. And what lovely appetizer they were Heather. I love coming over to your house. No agenda just relaxed, laid back. . . chill. Very peaceful and I always come away with having had nice conversation!

  5. Thank you for writing this! This has been a struggle for me for so long. As I read Philippeans lately God has placed on my heart to long for others with affection. I think that would include being hospitable. Thanks again!

  6. I love this Heather! I didn’t realize you wrote for inCourage.
    My favorite appetizers or “have on hand just-in-case- food” is good tortilla chips and salsa or popcorn.

    • This is my very first post for inCourage. 🙂 Nice to have bumped into your here friend! I ALWAYS keep tortilla chips and salsa in stock, they are life savors.

  7. This is me! Thanks for your encouragement to be real, keep it simple, and trust God with our weaknesses. Blessings!

  8. I followed over from your blog because I identified with, “Being married to a people person has it’s challenges and perks.” You got me. 🙂

    I would often joke that my husband was running around loving on people while I was holding on to his pants legs dragging behind him. When we got married, he was an extreme extrovert and I was an extreme introvert. I was worn out and tired trying to keep up with him and he didn’t understand why I needed “to just be alone.”

    Now he can’t keep up with me! I love having people in our home, and I don’t feel like we do it enough. But isn’t it amazing how God can change our hearts? I’m so thankful God gave me a husband who taught me what it means to love others so as to share Christ with them. Praise God for hospitality heart changes!

    Thanks for this post!

    • HA! That second paragraph cracked me up! That was SO me. I hope that my heart continues to move forward and that like you I will feel as though we don’t do it enough. 🙂

  9. Heather-
    Thank you for the gentle nudge. My husband loves to feed people. Even when my mothers was in the hospital, he’d show up with food. Nothing shows that you accept someone more than inviting them into your home. What a great way to share His love.
    –SueBE

  10. funny, anyone who comes to your home would never guess that you are a recovering hospitality hater.

    wish I had some of that cake you made last time I was there!

  11. This post makes me want to invite people over for a small get together. I’ve actually been wanting to do that for the longest time. Maybe it’s time…..

  12. I get so many emails and just daily conversations with women who hate hospitality. Even though it may not be our “gift,” does that mean we don’t have to be hospitable? LOL! Today on RE I’m talking about how I’m trying to NOT MAKE MY KIDS hate it because of perfectionism. Too many moms have ruined the chance for their kids to learn about it in a healthy way. “P” gets in the way …

    Great, great, great post! Beautifully said. xoxox

    • Believe it or not, your blog is what Father used to convict me of this very subject! Thanks for being willing to be used by Him so that He could change this girl’s heart.

  13. Great reminder & clever ideas. I’m visiting from the Nester’s link on Twitter. Happy Memorial Day Weekend.

  14. Wonderful post! I’ve been a “Hospitality Hater” for the past 19 years (since my daughter was born). I’ve recently been struggling with not having any close friends and really want to open my life up to more people. Thank you for this!

  15. this is such an honest post! i love it! we have people over to our house all the time… i think it is part of being pastors. sometimes after a long day with the kiddos, especially a teething baby, even my extroverted self can dread the company. but – so much life always comes out of opening our home and our hearts to others, especially when it is a sacrifice.

    my recent post: simple woman’s daybook 5.25.11

  16. Aaahh, that brings tears to my eyes. I find myself not at the end of your post but at the beginning, sadly. I struggle almost everyday with the issues of what you called “perfectionism” to the exclusion of friendships and relationships. I so love a woman who is blessed with the gift of genuine hospitality. Today is Shabbat and as I get ready for our guests, I grumbled. I wanted to take this day off for myself and rest, I’m tired (boo hoo, poor me, ha!). I am quite sure my Father would like it if I would at least go along quietly, don’t you think? Haha.

    Thank you for the lovely post. I pray I will become the woman at the end of your post and serve my guests with open doors and joy!

    Blessings

    • Sometimes it’s hard and I too have found myself grumbling at times. Try to keep your chin up, it get’s easier as you go along. Fake it till you make it. 🙂

  17. I love the practical tips and the godly advice you shared in this post, Heather! I struggle with opening my home at times… other times I can open up the doors freely. I think it’s sometimes when I feel like I don’t “measure up” or feel like I’m being judged. But, that’s when I have to renew my heart to know that God is the just One and people’s judgment doesn’t matter! What matters is sharing His love with eager and open arms. I’m praying for that now!

  18. Just reading this now. It’s wonderful to hear of your conviction, and subsequent freedom in the Spirit, to be more open to hospitality. I have a different problem in all of this. My husband is even more of an introvert than me and would rather have people over only once per year (if that- Ha!)! I try to honor that, but I have friends and their kids over every couple of weeks for lunch and every once in a while a Mom’s Night In at my house. I could probably do more but the my-house-is-not-ready-for-company thing is what holds me back.

  19. One day Amazon recommended for me “The Reluctant Entertainer” and I thought I would drop into tears. How did Amazon know? This post was refreshing and real. I struggle because I want everything to be perfect.
    Love and blessings to you!

  20. Stumbled upon your blog today and then followed the link to your post here. Both my husband and I are introverts and I moved to his town when we got married. So I don’t have super close friends here yet. We’ve talked about having people over, but more often than not, we find a reason not to. He’s too tired on weeknights. Our house is too hot in the summer to cook. Our daughter goes to bed early and can’t sleep when there is noise in the house. So what ends up happening is that I have friends from my town (an hour away) over during the day while he’s at work. Which is great. Except I want to be making friends with people here. And I want my husband included in those friendships.

  21. Wow. Girl, I could give you a laundry list on why I don’t particularly enjoy having people over but the bottom line is I know I should. Just to hear there are other women who struggle with this issue and are willing to step out in faith despite discomfort is encouraging. Great post. We should have a support group! haha.