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Color Me Grey

by I am His beloved  •   Jun 5, 2011  •   31 Comments  •  
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Most beautiful and beloved child,

what would it look like if today you allowed your true self to shine?

Magnificent you, with all of your color and beauty? You are God’s masterpiece,  painted with strokes of love and grace, an incredible

exhibit of design, exquisiteness and artistry.

One of-a-kind, breathless-beauty.

I suppose if you asked me what I would look like if I stepped out — in all my color —

I would be canvas of

shocking colors, unconventional and opposing hues,

vibrant magenta, spicy red, the darkest black, the brightest of white, fuchsia-

no colors blending together but distinct,

each retaining their individual flavor-

bursts of color with passion and reckless abandon.

What I am is not the portrait of  harmonious splendor.

Unconventional beauty that is not picture perfect.

I look at my inner colors and I compare myself  to the example  portrait painted by the church, my peers and the world

and all I see is a mess-

a crazy, random explosion of mismatched colors.

My heart believing many years ago, that I am either not enough, or too much,  I made a choice

to do whatever it took to be accepted, loved and  enough.

And so I learned for much of my life to …

…color myself grey.

I peer hesitantly out into my world and suppress the woman within me, all of my color, my quirks, my impetuous passion. I look at the demure, ethereal beauty of women I admire and wonder how I can be “butter yellow”, or “pastel pink”

– more them, less me.

My status updates are carefully crafted to not be too dark, always positive,

perfectly gracious and manicured.

I am ready to delete anything about me that might give glimpses of my impulsive, flashy colors that may bleed through my greyness.

My heart has come to believe that to be me in all my color  is to be rejected, to be judged, to be a misfit.

Grey is safe.

Grey is comfortable.

but grey is not who I am.

And Jesus looks at the creation He has made and He grieves that the pot of clay He fashioned is telling the potter, “you’ve made a mistake!”

Woe to him who strives with him who formed him, a pot among earthen pots! Does the clay say to him who forms it, ‘What are you making?’ or ‘Your work has no handles’? Isaiah 45:9

Could it possibly be that who we are, the true inner woman or man that God created us to be is beautiful in all of our color?

Could it be that our loving and wildly creative Designer wants us to shine in all our individual beauty?

That hiding in fear of who we are defeats the purpose of God creating YOU?

The truth is that there is no one more beautiful than you.

Be you in all your color and uniqueness.

You are a fearfully, wonderfully made, a rare and precious soul.

You are loved for YOU.

The colors He chose when He created you is a loving stroke of genius. You see an explosion of mismatched colors on a canvas- Jesus sees a beautiful, captivating, magnum opus, His greatest work.

And so remember beloved one- the  answer to the question that you’re afraid to say out loud, is that,

yes,

Jesus knows the truth of you- and it dazzles Him.

Today, be you in all your color.


Beloved child, what breathtaking colors are you?

Do you ever paint yourself grey or hide your true colors?

What would it look like if today you shined in all your beauty and uniqueness?

What a  joy it would be to hear your voice and heart here beloved one.


Written with love by: I am His beloved from  Journey to Beloved


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