Yesterday, while leaving the city park, I took a different route home. Of course, three-year-old Abby immediately noticed and asked where we were going. “Just a different way,” I told her.
As we turn onto the main road, we passed a graveyard.
“What’s that?” Abby asked.
“Well, it’s a graveyard,” I explained. “See all those stones in the ground? That is where they bury people who have died.”
“And that one, too?” Abby asked, pointing at the memorial site with the colorful bouquets spotting the grass.
“Yes.”
“And, are the people there dying?” She asked.
“Well, they are already dead, Abby, that’s why they are buried there.”
“Are the people going to see Jesus?” she wondered.
“Well, some of them are.” I am wondering if this will be the time I have to explain that one, but she continued in her questioning.
“Are there kids in there?”
“Yes. And they will go to be with Jesus.”
“I want to die someday Mom.”
“Abby! I don’t want you to die.”
“But Mommy, I want to die so I can be with Jesus because I love Him.”
Pause. She’s right, of course. What do you say to that? Isn’t that how I should feel? Shouldn’t I want the same for her? Twenty-two month old Benjamin pipes up from his car seat to contribute to the conversation.
“I wanna die!” He’s just entered the parroting stage of language development. Smiling at Ben, I return to Abby.
“You’re right Abby. I want to die and be with Jesus one day, too. But right now, you have a lot of living still to do.”
“Like what?” she asks.
“Well, like playing with toys and eating lunch…” She interrupts.
“You mean Jesus doesn’t have any toys and no food?!” Ummm…
At this point I admit to her that I don’t really know because I haven’t been to heaven to see Jesus. We pull into the garage.
“Besides, your mama would miss you.”
“Ok Mom.” She takes my offered hand and hops out of the van. I rescue Benjamin from his car seat and follow her inside. I wish I could follow her little footsteps right into that child-faith she has, huge certainty contained in that little mind. She’s marching confidently on a mountain of Truth while I climb and stumble along clumsily beside her. And the beauty of it is, with each spiritual morsel of truth I feed her, she nourishes me right back on this journey.
Paul did say, “I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far. . .” Abby has chosen the good thing, and far be it from me to take that away from her.
Lord Jesus, by Your grace allow me to raise this little girl and boy to love You more than life, and to desire to be with you more than anything on this earth. And Lord, I ask that for me, too. All glory to You only.
By Ashley Haupt, Little Pieces of Ordinary
CJ says
My mom tells a similar story about my sister – who said once that she wanted to die so she could go be with Jesus. Amazing, and thanks for sharing.
Ashley Haupt says
Thanks so much CJ!
Amy Hunt says
A child’s heart is so beautiful and it’s where I see Jesus show up most.
Rich blessings as you trust your Father (and theirs) to lead and guide those little ones He’s entrusted you with…
Ashley Haupt says
Thank you so much Amy. 🙂
Gloria says
I so enjoyed reading this post. It is a very important reminder of how a child’s perspective and an adult’s perspective differ – they seem to see things much clearer than we do many times. We as adults can sure complicate things 🙂
My children are now adults (19 & 24) and I look back and wonder where the time went and hope that I gave them what they need to go through this life. Now, I am in that state of trusting God and believing that we have trained our children in the ways of God and believing that they will not depart from it. The seeds have been planted so now we pray that they are nurtured and grow to maturity so that they become what God has planned for them.
Thanks so much for this beautiful post.
Be Blessed.
Ashley Haupt says
Hmmm, Gloria what a great reminder to me to remember that the time for training is NOW! I know it will go by so fast. So grateful that our kids are in His grace and His power. Blessings to you as well. 🙂
tara says
Loved this: ‘She’s marching confidently on a mountain of Truth while I climb and stumble along clumsily beside her’. Thanks for the perspective!
Ashley Haupt says
Thank you Tara for stopping by and leaving me a lil’ encouragement. 😉
Brenda says
That was precious. There must be something with the name Abby, when my Abby was little she would say things like that!! The faith of children is awesome and inspiring.
Ashley Haupt says
Well, the longer name “Abigail” means “source of joy” in Hebrew. It’s true, no? 🙂
Deanne Bevan says
Thankyou for sharing this precious story and children really teach us so much with their innocence don’t they. How was the Lord able to give his only son to us knowing that he would be so ridiculled and abused as he was. Imagine how much he loved us that he gave his son and his blood that we would be cleansed of all our sins by the blood of christ. NO WONDER THAT WE HEAR THE TERMS God is Love. God bless everyone. Deanne
Brenda says
Exactly! My Abigail is truly a joyful person! Its amazing to see someone wear the meaning of their name!!!
Sheila Lagrand says
Ah….I’m shepherding my grandchildren now. Such sweet truth here.
Thank you.
Beth Werner Lee says
Oh!
I had to write.
I have experienced wanting to die because of dashed hopes.
I have experienced wanting to die because of the death of a loved one (me go too).
But, I think perhaps I have experienced wanting to die to be with Jesus. Yes, it is the best of the three, and biblical (Paul, in Philippians).
Carolyn Arends has a beautiful song welcoming her firstborn and then imagining being welcomed into heaven. Oh, for faith that remembers all we do not yet see, overcoming dashed hopes and lonely grief! Oh, for children thank the Lord!
Thank you for writing.
Ashley Haupt says
Beth, I will have to find that song; it sounds lovely!
Michelle says
My grandmother passed away a few weeks ago and I took my 3-year-old to the funeral and burial. It was the first time we’d talked about death with him. My family and I have differing views on what happens to a person’s spirit when they die and it had been a stressful time of grieving and also wanting them to know and understand what I know. It was so refreshing to see my little boy’s sweet spirit pausing to say his good-byes at the casket and talking to me about Jesus like he knows Him. He asks deep theological questions and waits with innocence to digest my simple answers-We should value the connection that I know our children have with divinity.
Ashley Haupt says
Michelle, the imprint you made on him in that occasion is measureless. May he grow up to know the Lord with an unshakable confidence!