I received a phone call today from my mom, letting me know that a friend of mine died this morning.
It wasn’t a complete shock- it was cancer. It was coming. But isn’t it funny that no matter how much we know something like this is going to happen, it still shocks the system. At least, it still shocked me. He leaves behind an amazing wife and three young kids, friends, siblings, parents, and a church family- all who loved him dearly. My heart aches just to write it.
I talked to his sister on the phone, I made arrangements to drive from Nashville to Atlanta for the funeral, and I cried once.
The rest of the day was auto-pilot. Purchase a black dress [all my dresses are packed away in a storage unit… different story for a different time]. Reschedule events for the rest of the week. Make sure all mutual friends are informed. Call his sister again, just to hear her voice and offer a moment of friendship.
I’m staying with some friends for a few weeks- a married couple that are as close to family as you can get without actually having to share my blood or share responsibility for my mistakes. 🙂 I was the first one home, so I piled myself on the couch, ready to relax into the sadness. I had some writing to do [ahem…], but my soul felt dreary.
It wasn’t long until my friends were home.
And it wasn’t long until they were holding a collection of four ultrasound photos in front of my eyes.
A baby. Their first. A life created.
I cried. [Ultrasounds ALWAYS make me do that. I do not know why.] The tears rolled out like they had just been waiting on permission to do so. The absolute joy over this little one’s new life mixed with the sadness of the death of a friend made my insides confused and left me in a puddle.
Through the tears, I asked a thousand questions, including if they wanted to name their baby after me if she is a girl. [The jury is still out on that one.] The rest of the night went along with random spurts of baby talk mixed in with brownies to celebrate and a few episodes of shows that make us laugh.
And now the day is done. I doubt I will live another one like this. Life and death, joy and sorrow, a father joins the ranks of great dads as one leaves.
. . . . .
I don’t know about you, but I can’t tell the difference between a sunrise and a sunset just by seeing a picture (like the one above). They just look too similar.
It seems that no matter which way the sun is going, the colors display the beauty and the majesty of God.
And after my experience today, I think something about that feels very true.
. . . . .
By Annie Downs // AnnieBlogsLeave a Comment