About the Author

Mary is a writer and speaker who lives for good books, spicy queso, and television marathons – but lives because of God’s grace. She writes about giving up on perfect and finding truth in unexpected places at MaryCarver.com. Mary and her husband live in Kansas City with their two daughters.

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things we love
& you will too!
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Reader Interactions


  1. I’ve struggled for many years. Its been just recently that I stop and so I can just ‘be’. Its an odd feeling to me but one I’m enjoying. I am relearning who I am inside because she has been lost or hidden away for so long.

    Am I a passionate person? I would have answered no before, other than my children I never thought I was passionate about anything. Now, I know, feel, I am passionate about my own healing-emotional and spiritual, which has then included physical. It has been my desire and has caused me to actively seek out God in ways I have never done before. It has caused me to listen and learn to trust God instead of myself. It has caused me to step so far out of my comfort zone at times I can’t even see my comfort zone!

    I am beginning to live life again and not just merely survive it!

  2. Oh, yeah–absolutely! I am a passionate person and God is constantly refining me through the fire. I can tend to be passionate about every thing and think that I should be involved in this, that and the other thing. I don’t overwhelm myself and really, it’s God who protects me from involving myself in much of anything. But, still, I find myself drawn to a lot of different things and I often think I’m missing out on something–that I am not doing enough or that I am living a boring life. But, He’s keeping me reserved for my family and that’s the most important thing. He’s showing me how to be incredibly passionate about where I am Now. And though comparing myself always gets me into frustrating moments and feeling like maybe I’m not living fully and completely as I *should*, He shows me that He created me for This and also promises that I was created for more than this…and He’ll reveal it all in His timing, alone.

    Your heart about this so resonates with me, Mary. Totally. In every way. (including the job area!)

    Rich blessings as you bask in His peace, sweet-Mary…

  3. Passion for His heart has led me all the way into a recovering warzone with now a 120 kids calling me mama… The safest place IS in the center of His fire. It is only when I run OUT of His fire that I ever truly get “burned” He shall be the wall of fire around and the glory within! Whether facing of the 8 men who wanted to kill me and some of my kids yesterday for someone else’s mistake (kind of a rough day that was), taking in a few severely mentally disabled kids into our home here to get them off the streets, rescuing girls from the brothels, looking into launching a fashion accessory line made by those we rescue… it is ALL passion ALL the way. His passion for ME, for the least, for the lost and the last. And I spin in His embrace. It is the only way to go!

  4. This is SO something I’ve struggled with. I am naturally just more comfortable being active, and having several things going at once. I knit, crochet, sew, scrapbook, sing, dance, bake, style hair, I’m training for a triathlon, have 4 kids, and a house and husband to take care of, and yet I have all these grand dreams still! I dream of helping the world, those in need, accomplishing big things, and I get crushed when I get told that my aspirations are unrealistic. 🙁 I can’t help it either though…it’s the way God made me, it’s a little strange/unique/geeky/optimistic but I LOVE it. 🙂

    • Kelley, you are one crazy busy lady! 🙂 But yes, if that’s how God made you, then make it work for you and ignore the rest of us who think you’re crazy busy! 🙂

  5. Oh boy! I know exactly what you mean. I’m a passionate person, too. I have a strong sense of justice and making things right. I’m sure everyone else thinks I’m crazy, but I can’t help myself. I have to get involved.

    Thank you for reminding me that it’s ok, because this is how God made me. I often whine that I’d rather be like someone else (friend, neighbor, you name it). I’m going to start appreciating that God made me exactly the way He wants me.

    • I think the sooner we believe that God made us who we are on purpose – His purpose – the better off we are! (And yes, I am speaking to myself here!!) 🙂

  6. Yes! And Yes!!! I’ve just recently started thanking God for my 30’s, a place where I can be comfortable/happy with who he made me! A place where with joy & excitement I can do the work he has for me!
    Thanks! This was GOOD stuff!

  7. I too have felt that I over-think, over-feel every situation and made it into my own. I always felt it was a weakness until I was given a book called Living Your Strengths. God gives us special talents that, if not honed right or appreciated for what they really can bring, can feel like nothing more than a part of yourself you just wish you can change. One of my talents was Empathy and, according to the author, I do over-think and over-feel, which gives me the opportunity to understand, to empathize, even if I don’t agree with the emotion, the situation. Along with my other strengths, the book helped me to see how wonderfully made I am and that God knows exactly why He makes us a certain way. He needs us to use our talents for His work. He has a special task assigned to us where our God-given talents are going to be put to excellent use.

    God bless!

    • Yes! We are wonderfully made!! Thanks for sharing what you read. I have a heavy dose of Empathy – using it for God’s glory is the key, though! 🙂

  8. Mary, this is exactly the post I needed to read today — very timely. Thank you! I am a fire diver as well and even though I try with every fiber of my being to stop diving in and prevent myself from getting burnt to a crisp, it’s not working… Because that’s not how God made me. Thankfully He’s here to treat the burns. 😉

  9. I have always struggled with the way God made me. I have never been able to just ‘Stand Outside the Fire’. I have been burned a lot, but count it all necessary for the glory of God.

  10. I grew up in a very cold environment, where it wasn’t ok to admit any emotion other than anger, which was acted out freely and abundantly. Nobody seemed to be in touch with any other emotion! I grew up CRAVING the fire. For warmth, For light. For the beautiful dance I saw in the flames! Like Shadrak, Mishach and Abednego, I discovered Jesus in the flames of the fire. And I have never been the same… Thanking God for the beauty and the challenge of dancing in the fire. He is always with me there…

  11. I used to struggle with the way He made me then I began to realize my identity in Christ. Learning about God’s great grace has set me free to accept who He created me to be and I am finally ok being me. It’s a freedom like I’ve never had before.

  12. I think I would be more if I’d let myself. I feel like there’s passion bottled up inside me. I’m scared to let it out.

  13. i loved reading this … so in line with our visit on Saturday. God made you who you are, Mary, and there is not a thing wrong with that. We are just “all in” people 🙂

  14. For years I have lived with a controlled passion in me and only once in a while it would be released and God’s love would flow out of me. I think too often my fear of mistakes has held me back….but I decided to put into action my life verse, I Cor 2:2 I am determined to know nothing other then Christ Jesus. Well one cannot know him without risking oneself to the passions He has put inside of us. Now as age faces me every morning in the mirror I wonder how long do I have to release all this passion to tell others about you, whether by speaking words, writing words, living the high calling of God before others. So take courage and jump in the middle of that fire…..you will be refined by it and burn brightly for the glory of God. You will gain confidence as you live out the passions God has placed in your heart….take courage my sister, you have encouraged me to not let age put a stop to my passions, maybe we will meet in the refiners fire.