Todd and I were driving for several hours today and I decided to download a book I have wanted to read for awhile. A few chapters in I realized I was using the “highlighting” function more than I typically do and decided maybe Todd would enjoy it as much as me. I read out loud for a few paragraphs, slowing to make sure I was making notes of my favorite parts, and then I trailed off, assuming it wasn’t as interesting to him as it was to me.
Apparently I was wrong, and he asked me to keep going. An hour and a half later we were wrapped up in the story, hushing the little ones while they sang from the backseat because we were so eager to hear what happened next. They, of course, thought this was hilarious so the background music for our book “Chasing Francis” was Justin Beiber. Solid.
There were pages that made me pause reading because I had to have space to process the profundity of the idea-it’s told so beautifully that you are knee deep in a story of a man, but also a centuries-old Saint. I have long been fascinated by the life of Saint Francis of Assisi, but had no idea what wisdom I would glean from the story portion of the book. In one section, the following conversation takes place:
“Do you know the story of Rabbi Zusya?” he asked. “He was a Chasidic master who lived in the 1700’s. One day he said, “When I get to the heavenly court, God will not ask me, ‘Why weren’t you Moses?’ Rather he will ask me, ‘Why were you not Zusya?
Thomas let that thought hang in the air for a moment, then continued.
“Churches should be places where people come to hear the
story of God and to tell their own. That’s how we find out how the two relate.
Tell your story with all of its shadows and fog, so people can understand their own.
They want a leader who’s authentic, someone trying to figure
out how to follow the Lord Jesus in the joy and wreckage of life.
They need you, not Moses,”
he said.
Wow.
They need you.
Not Moses.
I don’t know who your ‘Moses’ is, but I can think of several people in my life that I have seen myself as such a pale shadow of. People I look up to and want to emulate in some sense. At the heart of it isn’t even what I see as greatness in them, but rather the way it casts light on the weaknesses I perceive in myself. And how much time to I spend comparing, contrasting, evaluating, doubting, and allowing myself to feel like a disappointment when the Lord tells me over and over that He loves me.
I believe that when I read those sentences…those simple sentences…something in me was released.
There will be no measuring stick when we see our Saviour face to face. I have images of apologizing to Him, fumbling for words as I try (no better than a toddling child) to convince Him that I wanted to be as good as “so and so,” or as brave as “so and so.”
I realized (and I suppose I have really been coming to realize this slowly) that I am not in charge of my status with anyone else. I need not look at my failings and others’ successes, imagining that I have failed the Lord or disappointed Him.
What a waste it is to watch each other and long for what they have, how they manage to do it all so well, and why in the world we can’t get our act together enough to be so doggone good at quiet time or so ruthlessly capable of memorizing scripture.
For crying out loud, did I think there was going to be a “verse-off” with another soul entering heaven when my name is called? Maybe I would have to do a little Bible map work, prove I could put the books of both the Old and New Testament in order?
How wildly ridiculous, right?
Then why is it, sister, that we spend our days doing exactly this?
May we all hear the words spoken so true in this amazing story, and may the message soak you with truth that permeates your insecurities, your doubts, and your misgivings about what you have to offer.
Thank God for you. Just as you are.
God doesn’t need you to be Moses, friend.
He needs you to be you.
May the peace of that gentle reminder fall on you, and may it secure something in you that may have been rattling around, determined to find a satisfactory answer.
No, you aren’t her, and you won’t be.
God wouldn’t have it any other way…
Go into the day today with confidence, and with a heart aligned with the One who knew your name before time began. He sings songs over you and quiets you with His love. If you are brave enough to listen, you might here the sound of your own name echoing back from the great I AM.
Jesus, we praise you for the provision to create each of us as distinct, precious, holy images of you and we ask your blessing over this sweet fellowship of sisters. That we would love each other well, encourage to the heights, listen until there are no more words, chasten only when mandated, appreciate all things unique, and most of all, thank you for the mighty work You are doing in each one of us…every single day.
We love you, Lord.
Leave a Comment
Modupe says
I’m crying and smiling all at once. I REALLY needed to hear that today. God bless you!
Amy Hunt says
This was so beautiful–such worship, Angie! When we take what we’ve learned, give thanks for it, and share it. You did that with this truth–this Bread that nourishes and sustains. What beauty!
I noticed a few things…one, church isn’t perfect either–we are to go and share our stories, a place of safety–like a net. And the second, our stories are important–necessary pieces of His Story (and I so much love that it isn’t coincidence that we’re a part of history).
I so much appreciate this network!!! You all have so much impacted my life, helped me to See my worth, and been such an encouraging part of my heart. (I so much hope I’ll be able to *go* wherever it is this big reveal will be!!!–I actually dream of conversations with y’all!)
Rich blessings, Angie, as you learn and share and bless and worship…
Brittnie (A Joy Renewed) says
Great words for me this Tuesday morning. Such wisdom embedded throughout this post. Thank you for sharing your heart. I will move on today with the thought that God needs me to just be me, no more and no less, just me.
Sharon says
I can’t put into words how your words spoke to me this morning..thank you for allowing God to use you to help me. I so enjoy each morning reading all the posts and blogs..what a true blessing to me. Thank you and all the fellow writers for sharing God in a true and liveable way all the time.
Jennifer says
If we could truly wrap our minds (by “our minds”, I mean “my mind”) around the love of Christ, all our (my) insecurities would fade in light of the intensity of His love. Thank you, Angie!
ShenValley says
Thank you! I wanted to get my highlighter out and mark your words! 🙂
Christy says
Profound!!! Great great post and at the crux of what so many of us struggle with. So well said, Angie, thanks.
Danelle says
To share our story with others, whether that is written or spoken or witnessed. . To do that with the transparency that we are flawed, broken but loved and redeemed through Him. . . I know nothing else that draws the lost to Christ more than this. We see His strength shine in all of our weakest areas. There would be no shining without flaws.
Beautiful. I want to order this book too. And today I will “just” be Danelle, precisely who He designed me to be. Light shining best in my broken places.
Stacey says
I think I have struggled not with “Why aren’t you Moses” but “Why did Moses get that gig?”
God has whispered to me recently, “that one – that one – was not YOUR gig”. “Yours are coming, and they are perfect for YOU. Not for ‘Moses'”.
Funny thing, I’m a slow hearer. So He has had to repeat Himself a lot lately!
Julie Sunne says
What a powerful statement, Angie! “He needs you to be you.” How freeing that is. Now if we can only resist the doubt that creeps in! Thank you for this message.
Beth says
“…someone trying to figure out how to follow the Lord Jesus in the joy and wreckage of life.”
WOW!
If he needs me to be me, what happens if I’m not a very good me?
Michelle B. says
Thank you for this post. In ministry my husband and I have been dealing with a lot of wreckage lately. This was nice reminder that we are indeed not Moses, and that we have been called this day to this special place to do HIS special work. God Bless you.
Jenny says
absolutely love this… and it is so important of a lesson to remember. Thanks for sharing!
Hope Easter says
Thank you so much for this Angie. This was a blessed read indeed. I just love that passage from Saint Francis.
Anita says
just curious what book were you reading?
April says
The Rabbi Zusya story is one of my favorite Hasidic stories and your interpretation of it and how we all need to be ourselves in our faith and lives is spot on. Beautiful!
Angie says
Oh, I absolutely LOVE this book too (Chasing Francis by Ian Morgan Cron) – it is SO inspiring on very many levels – so much to get out of it. Thanks for your ‘add on’ thoughts! Reminds me of John Ortberg’s premise of becoming ‘youier’ – more ‘you’ – in his book ‘The Me I’m Meant to Be’.
Wanda says
When I was much younger and a seminary wife….I fell into comparing myself to all the other wives. Because of that, I felt terribly inadequate and very intimidated. I was sure EVERYONE had all the answers and could quote the Bible word for word.
It really messed me up! Until finally, I met other wives and they opened up about how they felt as well.
I learned more than how to be a good pastor’s wife back then. I learned that God needs me to BE ME!!! No one else can do that. I’m the only me there is.
Great post!
Meredith @ La Buena Vida says
I *SO SO SO* needed to hear this this morning!
Jan Udlock says
Angie,
I, too, like so many of these mamas today, needed to hear this. I had stopped blogging because of doubts and fears and most importantly: lies…that I had been hearing. I’m not enough.
Isn’t God amazing that He uses us – little ole us – to extend His healing balm? Thank you.
j
Leslie Kelly says
WOW!! I was profoundly moved by this post. I even stopped my husband and kids and read it to them, although I don’t think they were as impressed as I was. I spend so much time in this lane of life, when I just need to move over into the left lane and pass it by. So much freedom to be had, and I let myself get stuck in traffic. This is going in my journal today. And in my heart forever. Thank you for posting. I am blessed to be a part of this community.
Kimberly says
‘Tell your story with all of its shadows and fog, so people can understand their own.’
Thanks for this. I’m in the process of learning how to tell my story, and focusing on the purpose makes the telling so much easier.
And I, for one, would fail completely and embarrassingly at a verse off;)
Leanna says
Angie, all I can say is thank you for those sweet, life-giving words. They fell afresh on this parched soul as though a gift from the Creator Himself. Amen sister, amen!
Linda says
I will add my thanks Angie. This has been a life-long struggle (I’m a grandmother now) – this longing to be something I think I ought to be. For some time now the Father has been gently teaching me the fallacy of such thinking. Your gentle, beautiful words are a confirmation of what He has been whispering to my heart. Thank you.
Gloria says
This tickled my soul this morning. Loved it. Thank you so much.
Carolyn says
Wow. Your post today was incredibly powerful. I struggle with accepting myself and my life for what they are, my god-given gifts. I strive and strive trying to do a little more, to be a little more, a little better and I never “get to” the person or the place that I think I should be. Somewhere inside I know that I must be good enough right now, but thusfar, I am not able to live beliving that.
The sad thing is that by not accepting myself as I am, I have not been accepting my husband and children as they are and it is hurting all of us terribly.
Thank you for the reminder to be myself, exactly as God planned!
Nichole says
I love how God is always on time with giving me the answers and the words of comfort to what I am facing. Thank you for sharing your heart!
Val says
<3
Morgan says
Love the ridiculousness of the “verse-off” in heaven … that is so true! No need to jostle our way into heaven. Thanks for the reminder that I am who He made me to be.
Jennifer S says
Angie – I love your thoughts – I remember as a kid saying to my dad, “How will I ever measure up to Billy Graham?” and he said “God has a calling for Billy Graham and he is doing it. God will have a calling for you and you have to do that.” I remember the breath I took after that – such a release of pressure!
But there is still so much to learn – those little comparisons I make all the time – I need to get that book you were reading.
Owlhaven (Mary Ostyn) says
Thanks, Angie! This is lovely!
Mary
Gloria G. says
A right on time word. Much needed today.
Thanks
Kaitlin Evans says
Fan-super-tastic!!! 🙂
Pamela says
I must say thank you. Oh my oh my. Thank you. Beautiful. Perfect.
Melissa Bradley says
Wow, Just Wow! How profoudly simple, yet overlooked! Thank you!
anneb821 says
Oh, I just LOVE this. Thank you, Angie, for the invitation and reminder to see myself as God sees me rather than seeing myself as compared to others. (Also, thanks for my next book club idea!)
Elaine Pool says
Dear one, you ARE Moses! You are helping to lead all of US to the Promised Land!
Aime says
Thank you for these words. What is the book you referred to?
SarahJane says
Thank you, Angie.
I’m looking for work right now and feeling so unqualified for everything I want to do. But no one else can do what I can do. I am exactly who I need to be for the job that God is providing.
These words were an encouragement to me today.
Southern Gal says
I’m so glad I came here today. Thank you for sharing those encouraging words. I needed to read them.
heidi says
Thank you so much, Angie. I have been struggling with my own competitive nature, with the tendency to compare, with always feeling threatened by other women. I’m so grateful for you and for the sisterhood here.
Heidi
Lauren says
I. LOVE. THIS. Love it! Thank you!!!
Reese says
I pray courage over us all as we strive to be ourselves. xo
Don Schmidt says
Our daughter sent this and it couldn’t have come at a better time. What a powerful message. I plan to use this when we train Stephen Ministers.
Nikole Hahn says
Our pastor was very transparent and authentic this past Sunday. Many connected with him in the audience and walked away still talking about the sermon. Since coming to this church, there hasn’t been a sermon I didn’t leave talking about.
Rochelle says
So incredibly blessed by this post and deeply needed it today! Thank you for sharing!!
dawn says
Angie- Such freeing and affirming words that challenge me to keep perspective. God is Good. Thanks.
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