We want attention from the moment we slither out of the womb, a writhing, screaming mess of “look at me!”.
It’s the one year old tugging on your shirt hem, wanting up. It’s the two year old’s fifth word — “see?”. It’s the four year old’s constant demand — “look, mom”, “see what I built”, “watch me do a front flip from my table onto my bed”, “COME”.
It’s the fourteen year old thinking of ways to get more than 300 friends on Facebook. It’s the eighteen year old working hard on her hair. It’s the mom constantly wondering — “do people like my blog?”, “why didn’t anyone comment on my status?” “does anything I do matter?”. It’s the husband waiting for the words — “thank you for providing so well for our family”.
Affirmation.
We crave it almost as much as flowers crave the sun. Teenagers will look for affirmation wherever they can find it, sometimes in the wrong places. Some look to marriage as the answer — “my spouse will be my biggest fan”. Children simply expect their parents to be interested in everything they say and do, and love it all.
We are born demanding it, we grow to expect it, at some point we realize we won’t always get it, and then we spend the rest of our lives searching for it.
Acceptance.
We want people to enjoy us, to find us appealing. We want people to think we’re talented, interesting. We want them to love us. Unconditionally. For who we are.
It’s the theme of music, literature, romantic comedies. It’s a common thread in the Bible — John the Baptist, Solomon, Martha, the disciples. All wanting to be noticed, appreciated, praised.
“Look at me.” “Love me.”
Our Creator made us this way. Fashioned us with a great big hole inside, a God-shaped hole. He wants us to seek affirmation — in HIM. He wants us to look for acceptance — in HIM. He wants us to deeply crave love — from HIM. It’s the Lover speaking — “I’ll meet your greatest needs.”
“COME.”
“Come unto me all ye that [are looking for love and acceptance] and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28 {my translation}
“God told them, “I’ve never quit loving you and never will. Expect love, love, and more love!” Jeremiah 31:3 The Message
Father God,
Whenever I’m thinking about blog stats or wondering if anyone cares, whenever my children seem to suck the very life out of me with their need for attention, whenever I’m looking for love in all the wrong places, remind me of your unfailing love. Remind me why you gave me such a strong need for acceptance and affirmation. Remind me to look to You. I might tug on your sleeve a bit, if that’s OK.
By Laura Kyle, The Housewife in Town
So, so true. What a great reminder.
Such a good reminder! In the search for acceptance, it can be so easy to lose sight of the fact that God always loves us.
I’m learning how it’s okay to admit our feelings of wanting acceptance and affirmation. Our Father gives us the desires of our hearts and doesn’t condemn us for our wants. But when we seek Him for the fulfillment of those desires, we’re worshiping Him best. He calls us to Him and never tires of us or shows irritation for us. How humbling!
Rich blessings as you live honestly for Him, Laura.
We were created for relationship with our Creator. When I find myself wondering if anyone cares, I look to Him and He reminds me of who it is I belong to and how great His love is towards me.
Oh Laura….your prayer convicted me! Thank you so much for sharing this. The Lord knew just what I needed to hear today.
Wonderfully said, Laura. We have ONE who is willing to give us all the affirmation we need, but continually we look elsewhere.
What a wonderful post. HE is the only one that can provide true fulfillment, acceptance and affirmation. Not through this world but through Christ. Thanks for this great reminder.
Needed this today. Thank you!
Thank you for this! Today was one of those days where I didn’t realize I was yearning for acceptance, but I was. Not receiving it, made that clear. Bless you for reminding me that the only acceptance I should seek is His.
Living in His acceptance is the only place there is full and true contentment….thanks for allowing God hand to guide your fingers over the keyboard as you wrote this lovely post and prayer.