Last night ended in tears.
Yes, many an evening has had me in tears…tears of frustration, tears of pain, or tears of sheer exhaustion. These weren’t the hot tears of anger nor the free flowing tears of sadness. These tears were ones that have dripped into my heart carving out a special spot to always be remembered.
As I lay on the couch in exhaustion, watching TV and reading my emails I became overwhelmed. I was overwhelmed by how completely and utterly I am loved by my Savior. A Savior that has given me His story to tell, something to live for, something to hold on to.
I had the opportunity to share with the women from my church this past weekend something that I never thought I had until recently, a testimony. As I stood in front of eighty women and my pastor my hands shook so badly that scrolling down the screen of my iPad as I read my notes was nearly impossible.
I stood there in all of my weakness giving them the only thing that I had to give…His strength.
Why me? What does this broken mom of four have to give? Don’t they know that I sometimes yell at my kids? Don’t they know that I doubt? Don’t they know how prideful I can be?
During some very dark years of trials and depression my sweet, sweet friend would counsel me with these words, “Kimm, some day you are going to have a testimony that you will be able to share with other women that points them to Christ.” There were days, when I didn’t understand what God was doing, that I clung to these words. Days that I thought would consume me but they never did.
So as you can imagine, standing in front of these women and giving them Christ was an amazing experience for me. In the midst of my shaking hands and my choked up voice He spoke His love to me in a powerful and consuming way. It was a confirmation of a promise.
A promise that “He would never leave me or forsake me.”
A promise that “All things work together for the good of those who love Him and have been called according to His purpose.”
A promise that “I would not be consumed.”
And a promise that remains in the scars that I will marvel at when I am in heaven.
My friends, there is tough stuff in this life, challenges that seem too difficult to bear. If I can say one thing to encourage you it is to remind yourself daily of the promises that are wrapped up in those nailed scarred hands. The promises that comfort from the ever sustaining word. He is writing His story for you in the midst of your trials.
Stories of His faithfulness to you.
Stories of His relentless pursuit of His beloved bride.
Stories that will become your testimony to His goodness.
The story He has woven for me is a gift that only He can give. A story that I can reflect on and praise Him for His kindness to me. A story that overwhelms me with His love for me. And as life moves forward He will continue to shape it into what He wants it to be for me.
It’s His story.
By Kimm Crandall @ Christ in the Chaos
Photo courtesy of Amy
Leave a Comment
Charina @ Pondered Thoughts says
Kimm, your post brought me to tears. This happens to me a lot of times, like you said because of the overwhelming feeling of love by our Savior. You know, that in spite of all the trials and difficulties in my life, all I can feel is His love and greatness.
“He is writing His story for you inthe midst of your trials”
“Stories of His faithfulness to you.
Stories of His relentless pursuit of His beloved bride.
Stories that will become your testimony to His goodness.
The story He has woven for me is a gift that only He can give. A story that I can reflect on and praise Him for His kindness to me. A story that overwhelms me with His love for me. And as life moves forward He will continue to shape it into what He wants it to be for me.
It’s His story.”
I couldn’t have said it any better. Thanks for sharing….
All good things,
Charina
Kimm says
Thank you for your kind words of encouragement, Charina and thank you for reading.
Brenda Jung says
I underestimate the gift of knowing Christ and being clothed in His righteousness. Why do I want so many other things when I already have Christ?? Your words give weight to His worth. Always love reading what you have to say!
Kimm says
Brenda,
Sometimes when I think about all the things that I don’t get (sleep, trouble free day etc.) I have to remind myself that I get God. No greater gift can we have than having the Spirit dwell in us ready to help us.
Thank you for always commenting on my posts. I’m always encouraged by what you have to say.
Jan-Western Gal says
Kimm: I do admire you for your courage. It’s just so hard to let go and let Christ lead me.
Kimm says
Jan,
Letting go is so very hard. It’s learning to free-fall into the hands of grace knowing and trusting that He always knows what is best for you. It’s a process of constantly coming to the feet of Jesus. We will never do it perfectly and He loves us the same in our worst moments as He does in our best.
Julie Sunne says
Yes, we all have a story. Each one unique, each one written by God. Having the courage to share that gift of story with others is difficult. But it does become easier once we begin. And what a blessing to others. Thanks for stepping out and sharing yours, Kimm.
Kimm says
Thank you for your words, Julie.
I think one of the most benefitial words that we can share with each other is the testimony of God’s grace in our lives.
Betty Draper says
I believe I just read a post by a courageous wise hearted women Kimm. I so remember the first time I gave my testemony at a ladies gathering. Right before I was to speak I got a call from my husband letting me know someone had broke into our house and stoled all of our christmas presents. Of course I was pretty shook up but continued on with the testemony. God knew how much I needed to share that night, to hear from my own mouth how far He had brought me, I need to speak the truth nothing can touch a child of God without it going through the His love first. So I received even the hard trial of our house getting broken into dripping in love.
Later a much older women in the Lord told me how she was so upset the pastor wife picked me to speak that night. This women felt like I was too simple, she admitted she was walking in pride and we became friends. Several of the ladies told me God was going to use me greatly and even though I have never written a book or done anything huge, God has certainly used me. And I am never more surprised then anyone. Keep sharing my sister, every opportunity the Lord opens for you…we must pass on that love He has for us to others. Blessings
Anonymous says
Thank you so much for your encouragement, Betty!
Beth Williams says
Kimm,
Thank you for the testimony. I know how hard it is to stand in front of people and talk. Even doing something you’ve practiced can be tough. I stand in front of the
church and do sign language to music. My hands shake, sometimes I make a mistake, but in the end I can leave them breathless & happy & even grateful.
You just never know how your testimony can touch someone in ways you’d never imagine. Just let God do the work.
God bless you for sharing!
Anonymous says
Thank you, Beth for reading and sharing with me.
Susan Stilwell says
Great word, Kimm. Obstacles in life can either become stumbling blocks or stepping stones – it’s our choice! Those promises wrapped in nail-scarred hands are the boost we need to help us up!
Greta says
Thank you Kimm, this is just what I needed today.
“He is writing His story for you in the midst of your trials.”
I am so honored to call you friend.
Love from,
Greta