Loss of confidence
A need to be right next to my husband or my mom
Makes me reconsider my worth
my own self
Makes me wonder if I am fit to be a mother,
a person loved by Christ.
yet feels very rational
The thorn in my side?
I have learned so much from this prickly thorn.
Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)
It is a hard thing for me.
I am not talking about trivial weaknesses.
I am talking about the weaknesses that bring me to my knees;
Weaknesses that make me catch my breath and afford no other alternative but to pray.
Could those type of weaknesses truly bring strength?
Weaknesses – Whether proceeding from Satan or men. For when I am weak – Deeply conscious of my weakness, then does the strength of Christ rest upon me. (Wesley)
“Deeply conscious of my weakness”
“the strength of Christ rest upon me.”
And isn’t that what I am here for? To be clay in his hands.
To be completely dependent on him so that I beg him to be with me every second of every day. Because when I am in the practice of begging for his presence, then I can truly begin to be used by him.
To become dead to my own fearful self.
“his power is made perfect in my weakness”
Realizing that truth brings about a humbling realization that I can be a tool which is used to make Christ’s power perfect. Not by any of my doing, but only by becoming an available vessel to him so that his power can flow right through me into someone else’s life. So that their pain can bring them to their knees before their Creator. So that they too will be made weak so that they can be a tool of the Lord’s power.
This begins to paint a small, miniscule picture of the way that God uses pain in our lives. To bring us bowing down before him. It cannot, then, be a bad thing.
To remember this when I am in the thick of it.
That is what eases my fears.
Knowing that he is strong and it is good that I am weak.
For when I am weak, I am strong in Him.
And what better place can I be than that.
Be strong in the Lord and in His great power. Ephesians 6:10
By: Shauna Attwood, Discovering GoodnessLeave a Comment