So many times I run from you. So many times I hide from your perfect will in my life.
So many times you bring me back.
Ive been sitting here this morning having my quiet time, drinking my coffee. I love mornings like this, where I can sit and soak up my time with the Lord. Lately I have been questioning a lot about my ability (or inability) to fully trust Him. To have complete relinquishment of myself.
My head gets in the way of my heart.
I want my life to not only serve Him, but I want it to be a fragrant offering to Him. There is so much I can’t do on my own. So much I cant overcome on my own. Yet He still stands there waiting for me to ask Him for his hand. Its so very hard sometimes to honestly believe that someone else knows what is right for me. It is hard for me to just sit and wait for His will, yet when I do, life holds so much more peace and joy.
Worship is my heart. I want really to worship Him. I want my life to be a pleasing fragrance. I want my worship to be so enveloped in awe and adoration that those around me gain a true understanding of the personal and emotional relationship they can have with a loving God. I bow my pride before Him and pour my veil of worship out. Even in the midst of my ugliness and my vileness, He still longs for that personal relationship with me.
It is what I was created for.
Pouring out my heart. Why is that so hard? Why is it so hard for me to show Him the areas of my life that he already knows exist? Why do I think that I can hide things from an all compassing, all knowing jealous God?
I confess now my selfishness, my pride, my longing for the things of this world. I humbly lay down my life in front of him- like I have done so many times before. I give him my life.
Actually, I give him back the life he gave me.
Have you ever wondered what it feels like to have absolute abandon? Have you ever been in a place in your relationship with Christ where you feel so completely out of control of everything, yet so at peace? I long for that, I long for the relationship with Him that causes me to completely release my grip on my life. I long for the realness of just crawling in His lap and laying my head on His shoulder like a child does.
Complete and utter trust.
Christ is not a lofty God sitting way up there, looking at us way down here. He isn’t waiting for us to sing a hymn and light a candle. He doesn’t care about our rituals, He isn’t impressed with them.
He created us for the relationship. He created us for His joy. He created us to worship Him.
He created us to be REAL.
Sunday mornings are meaningless to Him if they are lathered up in shiny offerings of pride. He wants us to cry with Him. He wants us to share our darkest and most hurtful moments with Him. He wants us to understand that our relationship with him was meant to be intimate, emotional, honest.
He longs for those moments with us.
By: Heather, Especially Heather
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bind my heart… says
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LindseyMarie says
My head gets in the way of my heart too and this was a beautiful reminder this morning.
Eileen Jennings says
What a beautiful reminder, so often I want to run ahead of the Lord and His will. It is hard to wait when the physical pain is so real, or the lack keeps staring you in the face, not just daily but moment by moment. As someone who faces a tital wave of concerns, it is hard to stand and look above the tital wave and see the face of God, then stand trusting the wave will not bring you down. Yet when you can do nothing, it is the only place to be, seeking the face of God.
Blessings you to,
Mrs. J.
Jen @ Martymom's Musings says
I have no words other than beautiful and it spoke to me on so many levels!
Pamela Dempsey says
This is a very beautiful post. Truly. Thank you for it. You spoke words that I couldn’t utter. Thank you. I love the bind your heart picture. Should be on a leather bracelet of some kind. Let Dayspring know.
Missy June says
It took me being very broken and desperately in need to realize that my pride and ‘perfect’ pleasing senses were wasted on God. He has never been more real than when I’m most needy. By learning to trust Him at my most vulnerable, I can trust at all times. When I’m struggling, I beg him to help me trust…sometimes I just struggle.
Lisa says
Those moments for me are found while studying my scriptures or on my knees in prayer. The more I do that the more I feel his loving influence throughout the day. As I turn my mind to Him, my heart seems to follow. I am not perfect. But, I am always trying to do better.
Sunny says
thanks again for the reminder of our utter reliance on our Lord. I just came from a time in my life of fully trusting and now I start worrying about the bills, etc.
This was yet another wake up call for me to learn this lesson of utter trust….thanks
Liz G says
My head gets in the way of my heart…. I see what my difficulty is, it’s hard to have a heart for some things, sometimes, but Jesus calls us to do it….
…Once again, I am reminded “repentance and rest is my salvation, quietness and peace is my strength”, Is.30:15.
How to learn to repent and not expect repenting (from others) and rest in that faith that God is working in a far greater wisdom than what we can see or even imagine.
Jennifer says
Thank you, Heather, for the reminder that I don’t need to hide from Him or have anything figured out to come to Him– that those things, this pride, keep me alone and not a pleasing fragrance for Him and for others He hopes I show His love to. Bless you.
Jennifer H says
Thank you for this today. Spoke to me and what I am going through. I long for the same kind of relationship with our Daddy! To utterly trust and be confident in His abilities. I am reminded on a daily basis what this is like, in my relationship with my own daughters. They question me and fight against my suggestions and my rules every day; just like I do with my Daddy! I know He is trying to teach me life lessons through my daughters, and it is difficult, but I know some day I will get there. The one thing I have found especially the last 5 months as I have stepped out in faith and have had to rely on Him for everything, being in a new town with no friends or family, raising my daughters on my own, is that I am not alone. He has shown Himself to be faitful and capable so amazingly; but I still have moments of doubt. But He is sure to answer, and if we strive and cry out for our hearts to be changed and our relationship with Him to be strengthened, He will provide opportunities for us to have to change and to rely on Him. Thank you for this today. Blessings to you. <3 ~j~
jenheartsben says
Loved what you said about Him not being impressed with our rituals. That spoke to the legalistic side of me. Thank you.
Stacey says
Wow – Wish you knew just how much I needed to hear this today =]. Thanks for sharing <3
Rita Harvey says
Beautiful! I have such trust issues. It is a daily effort for me to believe and trust that He is there for me. I’m getting there one step at a time. Thank you.
Barbie says
“I long for the relationship with Him that causes me to completely release my grip on my life. I long for the realness of just crawling in His lap and laying my head on His shoulder like a child does.” This is where I am today. Thank you.
Shonda says
I have gone back to read this multiple times. I struggle with this daily and have for some time. Thanks for sharing…