Do you ever compare yourself to others and feel like you don’t quite measure up? Maybe you think you’re not as smart, capable, personable, or as godly as they are?
It is so easy to think that if we had more or knew more, we’d be secure. The truth is, even people who “have it all” still struggle with feelings of insecurity. The Bible opens with the story of a woman who had everything, but it wasn’t enough (Genesis 2).
God had established Eve’s worth as His child and the crown of His creation. God had given Eve every woman’s desire: intimacy, beauty, security, significance, and purpose. Yet, Satan conjured up feelings of insecurity by getting Eve to take her eyes off what she had and focus on what she didn’t have.
Boy, can I relate. Like Eve, I’ve heard Satan’s whispers telling me I’m not all I could be—or should be. One day I was reading her story in Genesis 2 and noticed that the enemy’s questions and suggestions were intended to plant seeds of doubt in Eve’s heart. He wanted her to doubt God and herself.
The enemy’s whispers tempted Eve to try to “be” more and “have” more by seeking significance apart from God’s provision. He convinced her that something was missing in her life and that the forbidden fruit would make her “like God.”
It was a foolish comparison, but all comparisons are. Yet, don’t we do it all the time:
If only I was like her…if only I had a house like her, a husband like hes, a job like her…; if only my children behaved like her’s….; If only ________, then I’d feel significant…satisfied…secure.
Paul warns us that those who “measure themselves by themselves, and compare themselves with themselves, are not wise.” (2 Corinthians 10:12, NIV) Comparison will always leave us feeling like we don’t measure up. We can try to do more and be more, yet it’s never enough.
If only Eve had focused on who she was and what she had as a child of God. If only we could, too.
Yet, Satan wants us to focus on our flaws and feelings of inadequacy, then exhaust our energy figuring out how to hide them. But we don’t have to go along with his schemes. Instead we can recognize his lies, refute his temptations with truth, and focus our heart and our thoughts on God’s acceptance, security and significance. Then we can thank God for His provision and His promises that remind us of who we are in Him:
I am accepted…
Ephesians 1:3-8 I have been chosen by God and adopted as His child.
Colossians 1:13-14 I have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins.
Colossians 2:9-10 I am complete in Christ.
I am secure…
Romans 8:28 I am assured that God works for my good in all circumstances.
Romans 8:31-39 I am free from condemnation. I cannot be separated from God’s love.
Philippians 1:6 I am confident God will complete the good work He started in me.
I am significant…
Ephesians 2:10 I am God’s workmanship.
Ephesians 3:12 I may approach God with freedom and confidence.
Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.
Author and psychologist, Dr. Neil T. Anderson says, “The more you reaffirm who you are in Christ, the more your behavior (and beliefs) will begin to reflect your true identity!”
So, the next time we’re tempted to use the measuring stick of comparison – let’s commit to measure UP by focusing upward on Christ and who we are in HIM!
Lord, thank You that I’m chosen, holy, and dearly loved. When I’m tempted to find my significance and security apart from Your provision and promises, help me recognize Satan’s lies, refuse his temptations and stand firm in my faith. Remind me that such confidence as this is mine through Christ—not that I am competent in myself to claim anything for myself, but competence comes from Him. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen. (Colossians 3:12; 1 Peter 5:9; 2 Corinthians 3:4–5)
By Renee Swope, author of A Confident Heart
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JHollyhock (aka Jennifer) says
I think He would like me to know I am LOVED even if it feels like no one on this earth feels that way about me.
Charina @ Pondered Thoughts says
Jennifer, you are loved! He loves you and it is the greatest love this world have known… if ever you feel nobody else love you, always remember that He does
All good things!
What timing! If only you could see what I spent my afternoon writing yesterday – all about what I wanted to do with my life, how I am not doing it now, and how I don’t feel talented enough to do what I used to always wanted to do now. I opened up my email this morning and thought, “Okay, God, I think I get it now.”
What timing! If only you could see what I spent writing yesterday – all about what I wanted to do with my life, how I am not doing it now, and how I don’t feel talented enough to do what I used to always wanted to do now. I opened up my email this morning and thought, “Okay, God, I think I get it now.”
Renee Swope says
Isn’t it amazing how He sees, He knows, He cares…and then He comes and says just what our hearts need to hear. HE LOVES YOU WITH A CRAZY AMAZING LOVE!!!
Renee Swope says
Jennifer – sweet child of God!! You are LOVED and CHOSEN! “Long before he laid down earth’s foundations, he had YOU in mind, had settled on YOU as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. Long, long ago he decided to adopt YOU into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!) He wanted YOU to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving by the hand of his beloved Son.” (Eph 1:4-6, The Message) Praying You will know this truth and be wrapped in the security of HIS Love today!
I think God wants me to know ALL things work together for good…when it seems like everything is falling apart God is there working on it to turn it into something beautiful…but it’s so much harder to see that in the midst of the struggle.
Renee Swope says
Lord, I pray today that VA would sense a deep peace knowing what ever she is facing and feeling overwhelmed by – you are there and as she seeks you and relies on your love and purpose working for her good- you are working on her behalf to weave these hardships into a tapestry for Your glory and her good. Be near to her today and bless her in a way that she would KNOW it’s YOU! In Jesus’ Name amen!
Tina Freund says
This is something I struggle with DAILY! I have to constantly remind myself that God loves me, accepts, and forgives me daily–exactly as I am. I am so thankful for that!
Renee Swope says
Jesus, I pray that you would seal the truth in Tina’s heart that she is chosen, loved, accepted, forgiven, redeemed, sought after and cherished. Speak the truths of your powerful promises to her heart today – and give her the courage to claim them boldly and believe them deeply! In your name I pray – Amen!
I really needed this, it’s been a rough couple of weeks.
God has really been instilling my worth, according to Him, in my heart. Even though I feel insecure and worthless at times, I think He wants me to know that I have been chosen by Him and I’m fearfully and wonderfully made.
Renee Swope says
Jesus, I’m so thankful that although Becky “feels” insecure, You are showing her that her worth is secure in YOU – that her hope and foundation are built on your faithfulness not on her emotions. I”m so glad you can transform the way we feel by changing the way we think. Help us to not be conformed any longer to the patterns of this world that tell us our worth is found in our performance and appearance – but be transformed by the renewing of our minds through the power of knowing Your promises and living like they are true – no matter what our feelings tell us. We claim that for our lives. In Jesus Name, amen.
I just love this post. What an encouragement. Thanks, Renee! Sometimes I feel like I need to lose weight or tone up so that I can look like other girls, but my fiance continuously reminds me that I am beautiful. So why do I always have such a huge cloud of self doubt over my head? Stupid Satan! Praying God’s Word and reciting Scripture has been such a huge help for me. We ARE fearfully and wonderfully made!! I pray that we ALL begin to see that!!
Renee Swope says
Thank you for being so honest and transparent Julia! You and I and all of us have an enemy who wants to convince us we’re not enough so we’ll take our eyes off of all that we have and are in Christ and work hard to hide our flaws – real or perceived. Praying with you that we”ll recognize his schemes and turn our hearts and our thoughts to listen to what JESUS has to say to us and about us.
Great, inspiring and encouraging post. Such a great reminder; I think I will compile these verses into a little book that I can carry with me and remind myself when needed!
Renee Swope says
I love that idea Chelsey! I have a little spiral index card holder with my favorite verses in it and sometimes I pray them out loud while Im walking or jogging. Makes such a huge difference on the days I do that. And they end up engraved on my heart and memorized in my thoughts!
Thank you for this reminder. I am trying so hard to stop criticizing my husband. I know it hurts both of us. When I fail I feel like I am not a good wife and I fail both God and my husband. I know they both love me. I need to remember that not everything I do is a failure.
Renee Swope says
Oh Linda, I so get it. I brought so much criticism into my marriage and what was in my heart towards myself came out towards my husband. I dont know if you’ll see this but I have a short video message about what God taught me and how He changed me through it. http://reneeswope.com/2012/02/finding-hope-for-our-future/
Pray it encourages you!
God’s timing never fails and reading this today is just another little reminder from God. It all flows into what He has been telling me….identity. It’s foundational. I really struggle with applying His truth of who I am in Him and His promises. I have had for the last 5 years, the tools to help me to proclaim my identity and to know where it says it is in the Bible. At times, i’ll pick up the list and begin to proclaim and then afterwhile, I get off track, stop proclaiming and lose sight of who I am. I sometimes feel like it’s chore to proclaim the truth and then that turns me off even more because I then feel like I have to do it and if I don’t, then i’m bad. I recognize that this sort of thinking isn’t of God. Instead, i’ve been asking God to give me a true desire to want to know who I am and that it won’t feel like a chore, but that I will want to do it out of a love for Him and myself. It’s also hard for me to believe His love and acceptance for me.
Renee Swope says
Thank you for being so honest, Arianne. I love that. I have been in a similar place before and decided to ask Him to help me just like you have. I remember one time I started praying “Jesus, give me a desire for you and Your Word that cannot be satisfied by anything else. Make me hungry and thirsty in my soul to be with You, to hear You speak to my heart, to seek You more than anything else.” Boy did HE!! I went through a time of being so discontent and dissatisfied with anything I had or anything I thought I wanted – other than time with Him. Nothing could fill me like He could. I have a feeling God will incrrease our desire for Him if we ask. He wants us to seek Him and know Him b/c He knows it’s where we’ll find our fullness and completion. Not because we have to or because we’re supposed to – but because we were created to be close to Him. Praying that for each of us! Lord – we want more of YOU!
Becky M says
We moved into a new area a few years ago, the first thing I wanted to do was find a Church. I love the area but as for acceptance . . . I can’t even count the number of times I have been told, “You aren’t from here you don’t understand how things are done.” I feel insignificant since there is no place I seem to fit in.
Renee Swope says
Oh that must be really hard. I’m praying you’ll find another “new girl” in town and you two can start a new way of doing things around there – in community, with acceptance and love that is contagious. 🙂 So glad you are here and part of InCourage where you are always welcome… a place where you can belong!
Jen Y says
Just the encouragement I needed today. I’d also love to have the book.
Renee Swope says
Praying you win a copy or somehow get a copy. Thanks for leaving a note!
Marina Bromley says
Lovely truths to write on our hearts!
Thanks for sharing!
Renee Swope says
Love that picture – writing these truths on our hearts! Blessings to you.
Linda Belthius says
I have struggled since childhood with measuring up. It was a factor in overeating to compensate for feeling unworthy in my family’s eyes or so I thought. it carried over into adult hood and I developed a eating disorder…now years later and losing my husband of 45 years I am finally coming to grips with the person God wants me to be. i struggle every day but just knowing how much he Loves me has been an eye opener!
That God works everything together for the good in His perfect time!
Earthly trials lead to greater heavenly rewards – need to keep my faith focused on the eternal love & goodness of Jesus!
I just loved these verses… I love when you put them together… I must always remember that my worth is in Christ and that I am loved, cherished and accepted… and that God is in control of my life and I need not fear….. thank you so much for your posts…..
I have to keep reminding myself that i am loved and enough. But simetimes is really hard after failed dreams and relationships that i am still valuable even though i didnt succeed… Why good things arent happening to me? Then i feel bad because i know i have much more than half of the planets population…
It seems like God is wanting me to realize that He loves me and that I am totally secure in Him. Thank you Renee for posting this today and for proclaiming the Truth! I love that quote from Anderson.
Tracey Kirch says
I believe HE wants me to remind myself how secure i am in Him. I have been feeling so like i do not measure up and this is perfect timing! TY
Romans 8:31-39 I am free from condemnation. I cannot be separated from God’s love.
Philippians 1:6 I am confident God will complete the good work He started in me.
His view of me is all that matters!! he loves me so much and only has good intentions and plans for me!
I am just loving your writings and sharings. Thank you so much!
Karen C says
I am forever loved, accepted and chosen. The key word being FOREVER.
I have been singing He works all things out together for my good. A worship song at my church. And it’s a reminder I need having lost a child & struggling to accept our Father’s will that He doesn’t plan to increase our family. I don’t know HOW He’s going to work it out for my good. And I wonder if it’s not something I’ll ever learn till I get to Heaven
Alyssa Santos says
To saturate myself in his truth, to exchange my thoughts for his, to live this life he’s spared as an offering to him, to accept that I’m not enough in my own effort, but that I am worth it all to Jesus.
Thank you Renee, for this well-rooted scripture-framed picture of who we really are. I particularly appreciate thinking about Eve in this light.
Celia B says
I believe he wants me to remember that I am a child of God, that I do have worth. This is something I’ve been struggling with my whole life and it is so ingrained in me that it is hard to let go of — but I’m trying. Maybe the index cards would help! Thanks, Renee, for all that you do to inspire us with his words!
What a great reminder of the things that God’s already been working in my heart.. He gave me this promise recently in light of some huge changes coming up in my life-
”I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.” Psa. 32:8 It was just what I needed to be secure in His caring love of my life!
I love the idea of putting things on index cards and carrying them with you. When I was taking a class I did that and studied when I had even a few minutes of free time, but just never thought about that for things that would help us in our everyday life. Great idea…I am going to share this with the ladies in our next bible study class. I make notes all the time but not like I did when I was in class, now I just write things down then leave them in my book or where ever. I used a book ring to put all my index cards together and keep them in my purse. By the end of my class the ring was pretty big but it was easier to carry than the big book. Thanks again for all you are doing, Blessings to you and all the ladies
Debbie P says
I so enjoy your devotions and as always they hit close to home. My bible study group has some wonderful Christian Ladies that I aspire to be like. I think I like ‘aspire’ better because I know that I am my own individual person and that God is working through me each and every day. Many of the devotions highlight things that I need to bring to the Lord to ask for forgiveness and strength. They are such good reminders of how I aspire to live my life as a Christian woman. In our Bible study, we trade off topics; that is, on time we will do a marriage topic and then we will do a Women’s topic. Our group is called ‘Praying Wife’s’. I am going to recommend that we give your book ‘A Confident Heart’ a try.
Ruby Backert says
How the message today really hits home. If I compare myself to one friend, I’m so much better, smarter, thinner, prettier, etc. And if I compare myself to another then I’m not good enough. Who might our closer friend be? I think we all compare ourselves to each other until we learn the only one to compare ourselver to is Jesus Christ. And the measuring stick should be the Bible. Then we can keep our eyes on Jesus and try to be more like Him and off the enemy which is where Satan wants us to be looking. It’s nice be reminded of where we come from and who we are to be like. Eve took her eyes off the prize. Very good article. Thanks so much
What a beautiful and timely post! As a single parent, every day I am faced with the doubt that I am doing enough for my kids, do I train them enough, give them enough, love them enough. And while I know that I am, I face the self doubt that I am not. I teach my daughter that she is God’s Princess, that she was made beautifully by Him and God doesn’t make mistakes. He made her exactly as she was meant to be. I need to remember that lesson for myself. Thank you for Renee in helping me to remember this….God Bless!
Kim W says
What a timely post! Thank you.
Kelly S says
So beautiful, so touching, so PERFECT are your words – arrived just in time as I sat here struggling with inner turmoil. I read your sample chapter with tears flowing, as your words spoke to my heart! The passage about Sam (as you lovingly see her) and not feeling adequate and measuring up yet God’s faithful reminders that He loves us no matter what, that we are special children of His in all things, was heart warming and a reflective passage. I carry such insecurities all the time always wondering my hunger for Him, my longing to be closer to God is really being fulfilled, am I measuring up doing all the things I promised myself I’d do in this year – my year of GRACE as I call it 🙂 I know with Him all things are possible – I just wish I had the courage at times, and the confidence, to know that I’m able! Blessings!
I think I’m to remember today that I didn’t do anything to earn God’s love and favor and so there’s nothing I can do to keep it – it’s all mine – always – no matter what.
Kristy Lynn says
One promise that I hold onto that keeps me focused on God is that He works all things for good for those who love Him (Romans 8:28)! We may not understand all the situations we face in life but we can be assured that good will use them for good in our lives!!
The other promise that reminds me that God isn’t finished with me yet is that “He who began a good work in me will see to it that it is completed.” (paraphrased from Philippians 1:6) God is doing the good work in my life, He is the One who is molding and shaping me. I just have to trust Him and lay all my burdens, insecurities, hurts, doubts, and everything else at His feet!
Hey! I think He wants me to remember that I’m not just a stupid, worthless, nothing (which I still feel like at times), simply because I am His! I have been adopted into His family and I am loved! How awesome is that!!! 🙂
Nina B. says
I absolutely loved this chapter in the book! I have taken those promises and written them on notecards so I can remind myself of His promises on a regular basis. They go to work in my scrub pockets, sit on the dash of my car, stick on my mirror, and hang out in my pocketbook. I love focusing on who I am in Christ!!
Have a blessed day 🙂
What a great post. I struggle with confidence daily and hate how it affects my life. I am never, ever “enough”. I love your prayer at the end.
I am just dropping in from the Confident Heart study group. This book is really changing my way of thing about myself. I have found that when I woke up in the morning I am more happy then I use to be. It all because I know that I am loved for me and that I am good enough for this world. Thank you for show me that God words are true and that I can trust him no matter what. And that he does love me for me fault and all.. I am truely blessed and this book and study group has showed me just how much I am blessed. Thank you and God bless you all.
I needed this message today. As a single, watching my friends all get married and have children, I fight the battle of wondering what is wrong with me. Why have I not been able to make a relationship work? My closest friends have had the joy and excitement that propelled them into good, real, working marriages. My heart needs to be filled by my Savior, but I still long for a husband-love as well. Lord, make me sensitive to Your ways, that I may see Your touch in my life today.
I needed to hear this message today. There is a lot going on in my life and I feel that my husband’s family is all sitting in judgement of me as they think I did not do what they thought I should have done in the care of their mother who has lived with us for the past 3 years and whom we have taken care of for the past 15 years. I know God has my back and I have done everything I could, with God’s help, in her care without their help. My mother-in-law has chosen to go live with her younger son and his wife. I am the object of family conversations and I’m sure I will be for months to come but I know that God will lead me through this valley and that I will be a stronger person. I will keep holding on to my life text, Isaiah 40:31, for I know that God will see me through this time.
As a child, I was always compared to my friends concerning school, grades, extra-curricular activities, boys, etc. It seemed as though being myself wasn’t enough. I know my parents only wanted the best for me, however as an adult I still carry feelings of insecurity and comparison. To be frankly honest, I am tired of feeling that way. I want to KNOW within my heart that I am enough and I am appreciated for all that I can give, not how well I do something compared to another person. Even through MY growing process, I still give God praises for His hand being upon my life.
Judi Splint says
Hi ~ I have found Renee’ s book to be so helpful in guiding me to be a more confident woman. In fact, as I said earlier, it is THE best book I have ever read on the topic….and I have read some books on the topic.
Her book is one I so thoroughly enjoyed and will continue to reread time and again. I hope to someday introduce it to our facilitator, and have a study for our small group using her book. I am so grateful that Renee allowed the Lord to guide her so that she could write this book. Blessings!
Jen in MN says
I have always struggled with feeling like I’m too much, and not enough, all at the same time. Only recently has my confidence started to build, as I give up perfection and comparison, and start living as the person that God created ME to be. He has a purpose for me, with my personality and gifts and family, and HE WILL continue to work it out in me. My job is to daily walk out what He places in front of me, knowing that in Him, I am enough!!
I believe God would want me to realize many things, but it just doesn’t sink in. Sometimes it is hard to fight the thoughts ALL the time. The thoughts that say how you have failed, will fail and why even bother? It wears you out.
I have had a woman or two tell me they see me as having it all together. I am incredulous. If they only knew me. I have so many conflicts. I love who I am in Christ. I love all God has taught me and brought me through. I love the woman of God I am in that way. Yet I struggle daily with my physical self image. I struggle as a mom of teenagers. I don’t like all eyes on me. I don’t want to be an example some days. And on those days God stands next to me waiting for me to turn around and look at Him. He waits for me to give all the junk in my heart to His outstretched hand so He can toss it away. I’m so thankful for His love and grace and forgiveness. I am complete in Him.
I can so relate, Penny. I feel the same way. Thank you for your comment. I, too, need to remember that I am complete in Him. I need to turn to him daily…hourly.
I need to remember that my children are a special gift from Him (yesterday was one of those challenging days), and also that He has every concern of mine in His hands.
Interesting that you should post this. I have a post in draft mode titled “I don’t measure up”. Obviously , I needed this. Thank you.
Vanessa Tachenko says
2 Timothy 1:7, NKJV. ” For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”
I really needed to read this post this morning. Thank you!
Cindy Gammons says
God has been working in my life for the past 16 months. He has shown me a promise and has been faithful to me through many lessons and blessings along the way. I know that God is using this promise to take me on this incredible journey with HIm. It has not been easy and God gave the promise to me for a little bit, but then it was gone again. I feel He is still using this to complete this part of the journey He wants me to take. I have learned that it is not about the promises but the incredible and awesome journey along the way. I look forward to the promise, it is very dear to my heart but I know that Jesus is still working on my heart. Thank you for your message today. Chapter 6 was a very hard chapter for me, everytime I read it. I am doing a book study at church along with your study. WE are a chapter ahead of you. I did the study with Melissa as well. It is difficult and the devil tries to use it every time in his favor.
Kathy Scott says
It is so freeing to know that God loves and accepts me exactly as I am. I do not need to compare myself to others or desire what others possess. Only God will satisfy my deepest longings and give me the Spirit that is daily working within. Today I want to focus on all that God has given to me and let His life and love saturate my inner being. Thanks for giving me a perspective that focuses upward on the person of Christ.
Lori Tracy Boruff says
Last week I answered q#2 in Chapter Five of A Confident Heart: How many times today did you wonder if you were measuring up to someone’s expectations of you? WOW…my list was long. I had no idea until I wrote it down.
We do compare ourselves to others and try to meet expectations way more than we realize. Great idea to write it down. Love doing the study with my girlfriends – Carrie, Joyce and Janel!
Wow. Just what I needed. Been struggling with comparing & where i am n life n general. Thanks. Great devotional.
Inspired by this and a couple of other blogs I follow who were writing on the same subject today, I’ve added my own thoughts at life. faithful.
Thanks for your words!
Cathy Dotson says
How timely your words, and God’s promises as outlined in today’s Measuring Up devotional. I have been working through Psalm 139 this week with a couple friends. So many of our struggles with who we are, how we feel we measure up to God’s standards are rooted in how we felt in our families of origin and how those in relationship to us as we grew up perceived and treated us. What I LOVE about Psalm 139 is that the author makes it clear that irrespective of the circumstances surrounding our birth, our parent’s feelings toward us, our friends/teachers/spiritual leader’s God was with us and knew us and planned for us even before our conception. He is with us in all we do on a daily basis, He blesses us and has His hand upon us, even when we try to hide from Him, our past, our present. He provides us a way through our circumstances and back into His presence if we choose to hold fast to Him. He values and loves us enough to never leave us or forsake us. He LOVED us so much that He paid the ultimate sacrifice by giving up Jesus in exchange for our redemption. Amazing Love. Amazing Grace. Amazing Truth.
I am loved and covered by grace.
Cheryl Kauffman says
Thank you so much!! Your posts are like having someone reading my mind!! It’s so incredible thinking Eve didn’t think she was enough the way she was!!
So needed this today- 20 years of “abasing” myself by making my husband and our four children(17, 15, 11, 6) my priority, ministry, and career has begun to grow “old”. I love my life and would really have it no other way, yet simultaneously don’t “feel” significant lately. Have found much encouragement here & would love to read this book to get me over this hump!
Rita Walters says
You really targetted one of the “stronghold” that I believe every woman fights……feelings about themselves. I know I do. I apapreciate so much, Renee, your insight and your reminder how He sees us ….. and therefore, how we should see ourselves as His Masterpiece. And as the old saying goes, He does not make junk.
Thank you for your reminders of who I am and who I supposed to be. You wouldn’t think someone that is God’s child would have to be reminded so much.
I often compare myself to others. This would be so helpful for me.
Two promises that I have been working on are Romans 8:28 “We know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose.” The other promise is from Philippians 4;13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” There has been so many trials lately in my life. I know that Jesus is with me. I struggle with understanding Gods timing. In the course of all these trials I have lost some of my confidence. I to have started to think that I am not good enough etc.. I want to know what it is that I am to learn from these trials. Again, I must wait for Gods perfect timing.
Wow, these words really hit home for me! I am sort of desperate to understand God’s heart for me so I can stop striving and earning.
Lori R. from Ky says
God has been working in me quite a bit lately! I deal with feeling so of inadequacy like most women. I now realize what Satan’s lies sound like & that I don’t have to listen to them anymore. I am “fearfully & wonderfully made”! Praise God! As I read your post today, my precious 15 year old daughter came to mind! Oh, how I want her to understand how much God loves her & that she’s loved & cherished! If we can get our young women to figure out in their teens who they are “in Christ”, then we are going to have a strong group of women in the future!
your timing is perfect….HIS timing is perfect, that is! I really needed to read this today. Renee, your book has been such a blessing to me. Thank you for all that you are doing!
Wow. God really does hear our little sighs…. This morning I felt bombarded by Satan. That. I was not good enough. Not a good friend wife sister daughter. I was nearly convinced… But you said different.. thank you…
Renee Swope says
Oh, I’m so thankful God brought you here so HE could tell you differently through the words He led my heart to share. He’s crazy about you Jenn. I have no doubt you are a better wife, sister, daughter and woman that you know!! May you feel His lavish grace filling in your gaps and expectations of yourself today.
Restoration! God brings restoration…in my life, my families lives and in the lives of the people that God put across my path. Even though there are times I get down on myself…I’m not good enough, nobody loves me, etc… God restores & renews me into right standing with Him letting me know I’m His beloved! I’m so thankful for that!
michelle h says
our group at church for women who work outside the home has been discussing this. Our next area of discussion is how much of our identity we should get from our work. I am convicted that our full identity should be in Christ and His love for us. all other things are worthless!
I’ve really been struggling with feeling I have any worth and significance. My marriage is falling apart and I’ve been neglected and verbally abused by my husband for many years. It has caused some really tough issues in my life. I need to constantly remind myself that I am loved by God and have significance while I fight off the negative feelings and words satin has placed in my head. It is a daily struggle that I am praying I overcome.
I’ll be praying for you, Kate! We can overcome these struggles, by having faith in Him! He does bring about good things from our struggles, we have to believe Him and trust in Him to see this in His timing. I know it’s hard, I’ve been there, done that. Don’t give up; look UP to God and he will see you through!
Renee Swope says
Praying for you too Kate. Oh Jesus, wrap Kate in your arms, let her feel Your protective covering. Let her hear Your words of of love, your whispers of wisdom, your gifts of mercy, your gifts of encouragement, your promise of hope. Bring others around her to speak truth into these wounded places and banish Satan from speaking lies to her heart. In Your powerful and redeeming Name. Amen.
Natasha d says
I would love to win this book!
A good reminder that I am special and stop putting pressure on myself to be a perfect person, or wife or mother or friend. And give God my expectations and stop comparing myself to other women who can do it all.
Vanessa Wynn says
Loving the study of A Confident Heart. Loving feeling loved!!! When we reaffirm who we are in Him, other people’s perceptions, words, Satan’s lies dont overwhelm us so much!
I need to remember that I am loved, no matter how broken I am.
This is amazing.
The timing on this post is perfect. So perfect.
I have been wrestling a lot with knowing that He wants something from me, but having trouble figuring it out.
But every time I start to feel defeated about things, He reminds me in such a beautiful way that I am beloved. That he DOES love me.
That he has a plan for me, and that even though I don’t know which direction to head in, that he WILL show me.
So relevant today. I’ve felt lost, broken, dejected. I’ve spoken ugly to myself each day. I’ve just felt not enough. I’ve not necessarily turned away from God…I haven’t gone to him with my issues or problems. I need to feel loved and accepted from God. I have so many questions…I am a baby Christian and have NO IDEA where to start to begin my faith journey. These verses will help me alot. I’m committing them to memory and whenever my world feels like it is going to drown me…I’m going to recite these instead of turning to food and over to my emotions…which at times threaten to swallow me whole. Peace.
Kathy Sturgis says
So thankful that He loves me with a perfect love that can look past every action of my past, present and future. Praise HIm.
I am complete in Christ. I could name so many promises He wants me to know but I still find Satan giving me arguments about how I am not enough to add up. Still being single does not help. I know I am enough but getting the message from my head to my heart is a whole nother story. I fear God won’t bring “him” into my life until I know that I don’t need “him”, which I do know…but…
It feels like telling someone trying to get pregnant to quit worrying about it, you just can’t stop wondering and trying, hoping and praying and wondering if God is really listening. If He really wants to give me the desires of my heart, is my delight in the Lord. I like to think it is then I wonder….
I feel He wants me to know that He loves me no matter what the circumstances around me are like and that if He calls me to a task He will enable me to do it!
I, feel that the promises God wants me to hold onto is that i am loved, accepted and understood. No matter what I did in my past I need to remember that God will still love and accept me no matter what. God understands me even if no one else does.
If only picking 2 would have to go with chosen by God; He does not condemn me & nothing can separate me from His love.
Cheri Lynn says
God does NOT make mistakes and he handcrafted me! I will give you more than you could ever dream of, ask for, or hope for, because I love you!
Renee Swope says
Jesus, thank you for showing Cheri Lynn that You have made her with Your very own hands. That you LOVE her and that the dreams You have for her are so much more than that dreams she has for herself. I pray that you would open the eyes of her heart to know the hope to which you have called her to and the incomparable riches of joy you have for her as she lives in YOU!
Sometimes it feels like a promise is all I have. Those promises keep me. God keeps me.
Renee Swope says
He keeps you close. He loves you so. Praying for you April. That HIS nearness will be your good. You are chosen and you are loved! Eph 1:3-6
Karen Halterman says
As I read this chapter 6 I realized just how much Satan has whispered to me “you are not good enough for…..” and I have listened, sadly, and missed out on some of God’s blessings for my life. I keep thinking that is why I am still single at the age of 60, because I was not good enough to be a wife to some man….Satan still likes to whisper doubts about it in my ears. But through Renee’s book, A Confident Heart, I am learning that God is in love with me and there is nothing at all wrong with me…having Jesus only as my Bridegroom is enough and is to be making me very content…that is a continuing work in progress after all these years of believing the enemy’s lies, but it is an active work!!
I am sooooooooo glad that I am subscribed to Proverbs31 Woman devotionals too, for that is how I find out about these great women’s online book studies and order these great books to help us in our journey with Jesus!
Renee Swope says
Thanks for stopping by Karen!! Love that God is loving on you so personally through A Confident Heart. That is my prayer for each woman who reads it!! Praying you will remember Your Maker is YOUR Husband, Your Redeemer calls you HIS bride. You are loved and you belong to HIM!!!
Wow,so many of us with the same feelings of shortcomings. This comes for me at a perfect time since I have been battling this problem for the past few months on a daily basis. Thank you for the “go to” verses.
Renee Swope says
So glad you stopped by Debbie. Thanks for sharing your heart. Knowing we are not alone in our struggles brings such freedom from the weight of isolation and feelings of inadequacy. Together we can inCourage one another in Christ!
The Lord wants me to know that I am forgiven and complete!
Renee Swope says
Amen. And that you are. Forgiven. Chosen, Complete, Pursued. Loved. Cherished. Redeemed. Sought After. He has called you by name – YOU are HIS!! Is 43:1
This was a beautiful post today. One that I needed so much. Confidence is a daily struggle for me along with second guessing myself. Thank you for the beautiful gift you have given me. “in courage” is one of my daily blessings!
Renee Swope says
Thank YOU Sally. So touched by your words and knowing Jesus spoke to you through today’s post. Posted a music video that ministers deeply to a heart that needs to know she’s chosen and loved here: http://reneeswope.com/2012/02/your-heart-is-spoken-for/
When I acknowledge and admit how desperately I need Christ then I live in true freedom. Freedom from trying to measure up. Freedom from comparing. Freedom from doubt and fear. Pride strips away that freedom and I go back to all of that unhealthy, unholy thinking. I pray that I am continually reminded of how desperate I am for my Savior. Living in desperation keeps me focused on Him and brings me true joy and peace that passes all understanding.
Renee Swope says
Amen, so well said. It’s all about our dependence on Him. Living inDependence is such a good place! Thanks for being so honest Stacie!
It was a hard road learning this lesson – please pray that the Lord will help me to see others in that special kind of way, so I can love them better! Thanks!
Pat T says
When I read these posts from other sisters it encourages me to know I am not alone in my struggles to be a good wife and mother. Even though my children are young adults, I still need to be there for them. When I do something dumb to make my husband angry and then feel like a failure, I am not the only one. But no matter what God still loves me! This study is so encouraging, thank you Renee for listening to God and writing the words He has given to you. Bless you!
Carolyn Spencer says
Looks like a fantastic book!! Societal pressures make being a confident woman so difficult. Thanks for the encouragement!
Brenda Brodmerkle says
I am God’s child. John 1:12 and
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Phil. 4:13
Thanks Renee, may the Lord bless you.
Judy Hall says
I am feeling encouraged by reading all the comments. I do feel so inadequate so often! I feel like I am a major disappointment to God because I mess up all the time! I know He is working on me, helping me to be a better person. I am so thankful that God loves me enough to forgive me every time I ask for it.
I am struggling lately with feeling like I don’t measure up at work. I believe that I am going to lose my job soon and even though I know I am valuable in God’s eyes, and worthy, and capable, I am having a really difficult struggle right now.
Angie hite says
I feel like a complete failure sometimes, but with him I an not a failure. What comfort!
I think He would like to remind me that He has great plans for me, and not to worry so much about my future.
I feel like God is speaking directly to me through your posts and through all the scriptures you include- I never knew there were so many verses about confidence!
Loosing the joy of the blessings Ive been given by allowing myself to dwell on the things I dont have is my biggest regret and challenge. Learing to focus on the good and live with a grateful heart… This has been a huge confdence boost. Hoping to use this study with moms of kids in an innercity boys and girls club called God’s Haven in Jackson MS. Will providing books to those who complete homework from first two chapters. Feel free to donate 😉
My struggle is similar to this post. I have learned and need to constantly remind myself to be satisfied with what God has given me. Rather than constantly think things will be better for us when we …. build a house, have a child, etc. Even now I’ve had issues with not wanting more but wanting less and different (we’d love to sell our large house, buy a small house and farm to because more self sufficient), but I have to suppress my impatience and let God lead us that direction (if that is His plan).
As a stay at home mom of 5 children. Homeschooling, training, discipleship (with my children) ….. trying to find balance is hard. I am forever fighting the ‘measuring stick’ mentality.
I needed to be reminded that God will complete His good work in me…& that I’m not there yet! I feel like I have been so blessed in so many ways & that I don’t deserve it because I’m never good enough. I get impatient with my kids, treat my husband poorly, am a lousy friend…the list goes on. But I know that He is working in me, making me more like Him each day. He doesn’t expect me to be perfect, & loves me even when I fail, but He continues to renew my mind & shape my heart to be more like His every day. I’m so grateful He doesn’t give up on me!
I think the good thing is that I WANT to be more like Christ. The bad thing is that I just keep trying to complete His work in me all by myself, so that I’ll be good enough for Him to take an interest in me and finish it up. I read His words, I understand what He’s saying, but the hurdle is in myself: My SELF.
Vanessa G says
That I am not alone! When I feel as if nobody cares, I am insignificant, nobody knows my heart, my pain, my hurts, my struggles, HE DOES and He loves me. Thanks for this post!
Melinda T says
Thanks for sharing those scriptures! Those are God’s promises to me that I am perfect and more than enough, that I should let my insecurities go.
Renee, I really needed to read this today. Your book has been such a blessing to me. Thank you so much for sharing this online study with us.
I am learning so much at such at late age in life!!
Beth Williams says
Do you ever compare yourself to others and feel like you don’t quite measure up? Maybe you think you’re not as smart, capable, personable, or as godly as they are? Oh boy do I ever…constantly!!!!
“Yet, Satan wants us to focus on our flaws and feelings of inadequacy.” Satan has simple, crafty ways of making me hear/feel “not smart enough, dumb, stupid, unworthy”.
God wants me to hear and know that I am His child, loved dearly, smart, intelligent, capable. While I know all this.. why oh why do I constantly believe the evil one?
Great post & unique way to look at this subject!
Have always felt I had no security. Everything has been taken away where only He matters. I keep singing” just to be with you” by Paul Baloche, I don’t understand but so glad God has the big picture of what he is doing and has a good plan and future for me. Been very afraid and feel out of control but am learning to rest and wait and listen for HIM .I love my Jesus. Thank you for this book.
saturday surfing | not consumed says
[…] Feel like you don’t measure up? Read this…Measuring Up […]
Julie Sunne says
I love the list of verse promises, Renee, and added them to my documents as quick reminders of my worth and security in Christ. I know the Lord would have me hold onto the promises that all things are possible through Him in conformance to His will. The other lie that weighs me down is the measuring up thing. I struggle with feeling adequate enough.
I have always ever since I remember having the feeling of not belonging not good enough I have realized it’s not how our blessed savior Jesus Christ wants us to think. Now a new walk new path.
This really hit home for me! Thank you so much for putting your feelings into words! Beautiful message!
I went back to reread Genesis 2 with tears in my eyes and it spoke to me in a new way. Those poisonous thoughts have consumed my mind and heart for too long and God is reminding me that he has given more to me than I can even comprehend…
Thank you for your beautiful post.
Authorine Miller says
Authorine Feburary 25, 2012
Thanks be to God, for knowing that I belong to God, that I am chosen , a royal priesthood and a holy daughter, I belong to God. I love the song and I am thankful that I am covered by His love divine and I am a child of the Risen Lord all because of the power of the cross. Renee, keep up the good work. Please prayer for me to continue growing in faith.
May God bless you.
This post was incredible. Definitely went and shared with a friend about comparison and the verse in 2 Corinthians. Comparison is the thief of joy.
Thank you so much for sharing-it made my day
Where do you measure up? « Manatee Pudding says
[…] read a blog post this morning that touched on the […]
I think the promise I need to remember is that I am forgiven and redeemed. Things of the past are not to be brought up again. I am chosen, forgiven and loved by God.
A wonderful reminder for all women in Christ. I was recently diagnosed with an ongoing debilitating disease. If my value were based on my ability to “do” things, I would be facing a future of continually diminishing value. But praise God He has a purpose and redeems even broken bodies for His glory..My value is “I am His” and oh how precious “He is mine”~
I teach Senior Project to high school seniors in a low income area. My job is to get them ready for life after high school and to go forth into the world. Fortunately, God placed me there to touch lives and to share my faith. However, there are days that I feel like I’m not equipped to reach some of them – that I’m not good enough or smart enough. This has been one of those weeks for me so your message above was God’s perfect timing in my life to let me know that He will equip me to meet their needs. Thanks for letting God use you to touch me today. God Bless!
I am often guilty of comparison. My appearance, my children, my husband, my home…the list goes on and on. While I know that God has given each of us the life and road that he wants us to live, I struggle with wanting more. God is enough. Thank you for the reminder.
Heather Garrity says
This is something that I have constantly needed to remind myself of…especially lately in my life…that God made me and loves me just the way that I am. Even if I don’t feel like I measure up to my own standards, or the unattainable standards and expectations of others…that He loves me unconditionally and will always be there for me with open arms!
Wow…as I was trying to get myself going (just having one of those “blah” days) something told me to check into my favorite devotion pages and I read this! Feeling “good enough” seems a struggle for me at times! Thank you for the encouragement and verses to refer to as a reminder that God has promised me I’m His!!
Measuring up has been a lifelong struggle!
Jackie Bailey says
I love the promise in Romans 8:28 that God works for my good in all circumstances.
This promise has carried me through some huge challenges, where there was no earthly reason for hope, and supplied both strength and joy, at the time and in later reflection. Undoubtedly, I’ll face more, but with Him on my side, nothing shall move me.
Thanks for your obedience and your teachings.
Stacey Gibson says
This is so me!!!! This spoke to me & I plan to get this book ASAP!
I have been without employment since December and Satan sure has fought with me on “See you are not good enough, no one wants you ” , it’s an everyday battle ~ Jesus says “you are my child ” for I have formed you in the womb, I go before you , if I provide for the birds in the sky and the fish in the sea (Lynn’s verbiage) won’t I supply for you … I’ve received several “Not what we are looking for ” you have a glowing resume’ but …..I compare myself to others all the time , I’m not good enough for anything …..I pray constantly , on my knees , ………so on my knees I will stay ….for I know whom I have believed and am persuaded that he is ABLE …..
I can get caught up in my failures. I feel like it’s hard to see that God can love me in the midst of struggle. I know He does in my heart, but my mind gets in the way…
I want to know down to the marrow of my bones that I am dearly loved. I can read it, but I want to BELIEVE it.
charee cook says
I struggle with this constantly. I think, “why me, Lord?”. I’ve found it helpful to say to myself, “God has a good plan” and I have to trust in that good plan. Thanks for all the helpful verses!! 🙂
I am so happy that God lives me just as I am. Somehow, at times, it seems so tempting to give into the deceiver’s lies. Thanking God for his truths & promises today and everyday is vitally important!
Ellen M says
The Lord knew that I needed this today. So. Very. Much.
Phil 1:6 that God will finish what he starts. He has called us as missionaries to Brazil and we are here short term, but have not raised enough money to stay permanently.
Stephanie Webb says
Hearing that I am accepted and I am secure really speaks to me. Somewhere on my journey I began to feel like I had noone and everything seemed to go wrong all at once. I am so amazed at Gods timing!!
April Carman says
Wow!! I have been through some major personal struggles the last few years and my confidence in myself had hit rock bottom. I am slowly rebuilding that and it is mostly by putting my faith in the Lord. As I work to make myself into the person that I feel God wants me to be, this blog really spoke to me! Thank you so much for sharing!! This really made my day and I plan on sharing it with my women’s study group tomorrow evening!
Sherri T. says
God reminded me just this morning is the perfecter of my faith. In the past weeks my focus turned toward worry about my circumstances. In the quiet this morning God met me where I was and remined me its not about my perfection in my circumstances, but that I keep my eyes on Him.
Indeed, we should learn not to compare ourselves with others. There’s only one us and we should commit to finding out the gifts God gave us and to use it for His glory!
Jessica Mumford says
I think He keeps pressing into me the thought, “If we call ourselves women of faith, but we live lives that do not require faith, are we really women of faith?” by Lysa Terkeurst (on her adoption cd).
I feel like I need to trust and obey more and live out the gospel.
Three specific scriptures I have been focusing on this week are: First, “I’m fearfully and wonderfully made; all of His works are wonderful and I am one of them” Psalm 139:14. Secondly, “I am His masterpiece, created to be new in Christ so that I could do good things He planned long ago” Ephesians 2:10. Thirdly, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength” Phil 4:13.
Praying you win a copy or somehow get a copy. Thanks for giving O)
I am working to remember that I am more than what my fleshly cravings dictate and past mistakes remind me. I am finding myself hugely insecure when I see only failure in the face of challenge. I am more than my weakness because God is greater….. Some days, like today, it’s harder to remember that. Thank you for the truth reminder
This is something I struggle with and have to remind myself of this daily. Thank you for stepping up and writing this book so others can live with a confident heart
the verse in chapter one of Ephesians was the first time I had heard and believed that I was chosen- not an accident but chosen and by our Creator. I’ll never forget that as a new Christian and 20 years later it means as much to me as it does today. 🙂
Things have been so stressful this past month. I lost my job of 10 years and starting with a new company and learning so much! There have been nights that I have laid in bed and wondered WHY? But through all of this stress, there has been one constant! I know that this was in God’s plan and He will not leave me and He will give me the strength and the courage to face each day! I’m so blessed to know Him as my personal Savior!
Just moved and have been feeling disconnected from everything. Something I really wanted was pulled away this week . Then all of the old feeling came back your a mess God can’t use you , your not good enough…………… the evil one just filled my head with so many lies. I told God I don’t care any more what you have for me . I picked up a book I had been readying God’s timing wow just what I needed to hear only God could have had me stop at that spot in the book and later pick it up and speak to me so strongly as it did I felt like God reached down and picked me up. When I am not doing all I should be doing to stay close to him he still was there for me when I needed him . Thank you Father
My whole life has been spent comparing myself to everyone else. To some I would measure myself “better than” and then others I would feel “lower than”. Insecurity was my middle name. I always had a void in my life, where I wanted to be known intimately by just one person. I wanted to be loved and cherished and longed for. I thought if I kept all the rules that God would allow my future husband to fill this void. After 15 years of marriage I am starting to learn that only God can fill any void in our lives. I still struggle with not feeling good enough and that I am not significant. So thankful for your post and can’t wait to read the book.
Paula Lloyd says
I feel the promise He is wanting me to know is that all things will come in His time. I need to be patient…I read this saying today: As much as you want to plan your life, it has a way of surprising you with unexpected things that will make you happier than you originally planned. That’s what you call God’s will.
that i am His beloved, that He loves me with an everlasting love, even when I fail, i am ok, i am secure in Him…i have a hard time knowing this when i feel i have failed and when others around me reject me…my security is easily shaken, rocked to the core.
also, *a little secret* i feel Him calling me to write a book, i’ve had the desire for years, but recently the hope is growing stronger–several have asked why i don’t write a book, and a friend called the other day and said God told her to tell me that i have been gifted and have gone through what i have so that i can write to help women–if this is His call, i need faith to believe.
Katie @ simply[his] says
God is teaching me this week that I am enough because of who I am in Him, not because of what I do. I, too, wrote about being Eve this week. http://kathrynjfletcher.blogspot.com/2012/02/not-good-enough.html
Cassie D. says
Boy this hit home. I struggle with comparing myself with others and approval addiction. I tend to let others thoughts or comments or lack of, of me affect how I feel about myself. I know I am wonderfully made in the image of God and this is an area I struggle in regularly. Thank you for the opportunity to win your book. I think it would be beneficial for me to read.
Not a promise, but more of a statement that I need to hold onto. God loved us before we loved Him, so I don’t have to be afraid that if I’m not as good as someone else that God will stop loving me.
Rachel J says
It will be worth it….not a failure.
This is where I live. A stay at home wife, with insecurities that women in my shoes are working. I have dreams and God-given passions to pursue, but how can I measure up to what I think I can do and what others think I can do? Being alone daily within the confines of my home, I ponder these questions and feel defeated each day as I do “nothing” that I planned. I continue to put myself in roles or positions where I’m gifted by God, but not fulfilled by God in those areas. They are safe and I’m protected from the onslaught of retribution by living there. A year’s journey in this is coming to an end soon and time to move forward. For my sake and my families. Thanks for the encouraging post and Scriptures, which I’m longing for.
Emily Huntley says
I can always look back on my most insecure moments as times that I am comparing myself to others. Great post!