As far as negative reactions went, this one was a doozy. The initial horror had passed, but the wailing from my 14-year-old’s bedroom told us that it would be a long time before she would appreciate her new springtime “trim.”
There was security in those long tresses – as if the ability to pile, twist and toss her hair offered an outer confidence her inner self hadn’t yet mustered. But faster that you can say “overreact,” it was gone, and ten-plus inches of strawberry-blond hair lay on the salon floor.
I could relate – sort of.
My own empty box of Revlon #42 lay in the bathroom trash – remnants of my measly attempt to hide the gray that I still blamed on pregnancies, babies and hormones (along with a thicker middle, weak bladder, and chronic inability to remember that hamburger needs to be thawed out more than a half hour prior to dinner).
If I watched long enough, I swore I could see the gray hairs multiplying around my face – a curious thing since my hair was also thinning at the top of my hairline, forcing me to try a youthful yet unnatural “swoop” of my bangs.
There was a new approach to my beauty routine now. I had trashed my coupons for drug store make-up and headed to the mall to become BFFs with the young chippie doling out makeovers. I told my husband that the arrival of my 40s earned me a bigger beauty budget, and that he’d thank me later when strangers would mistake me for his daughter (well maybe much-younger kid sister).
They say that the passage of time turns youth into wisdom.
But I was armed with shopping bags of foolishness trying to arrest the creepy tentacles of time that were pulling down my face. They also formed craggy “laugh lines” that wrongly suggested I’d spent an inordinate amount of time in my 20s and 30s doubled over in hysterics.
This childishness didn’t last long. Close girlfriends will tell you the truth, and several refused to tolerate my “I’m-can’t-believe-I’m 40”whining. In the course of just a few days, they gave me the verbal slap I needed to jolt me out of my inward focus and force me to look at the truth of God’s word.
“Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained by a righteous life.” Proverbs 16:31
The real beauty of course, didn’t lie in that Revlon box, any more than it did in the pile of hair and tears at the beauty salon. It wasn’t in the packages, at the mall, or even my #42 Light Auburn reflection post-dye.
The real beauty is how I’m viewed by my Savior because of what He’s done for me. It is how he loves me and how He remains faithful – even when I fret over the “gray.”
He knows their numbers, rejoices in my age — particularly the years behind me that I’ve lived as “His.” That is my crown. He rejoices that as “A daughter of the King” I will toss aside the foolishness – sometimes quickly and sometimes not – and come back to what I know to be true.
And what I know is that it is not my own righteousness that enables my Father to see me as beautiful, but Christ’s.
These are the lessons that I’m hoping to impart to the young girl weeping across her bed – lessons that transcend the color of the hair, the style, the length.
They are lessons that get to the root, so to speak, of what really matters as a child of God.
Leave a Comment
Marina Bromley says
Perfect timing!! A friends fb status had just mentioned the Clairol Fairies that visited her, and made me wonder (for 1/2 second) if I should request they visit me again…it has been years since their last visit! I joked that “I love my gray hairs best”, but recently letting my hair grow out after years of wearing it “sassy short” reminded me how very gray I’ve gotten! The over 50 isn’t so much about fighting the aging process, but more about wanting to look graceful when I’m 60!
It’s true though, the best thing I can wear is a smile, the worst – a sour disposition. Bring on the years, or take me home!! I want to be remembered by how well I love others, how much I love God, and how well my heart functioned – not medically – but spiritually. Let my face wrinkle with laugh lines, my eyesight fail at judging others but radiate His love with tenderness, my ability to endure physical exercise wither, but my heart break for the lost. Just give me Jesus!!
Marina Bromley says
Perfect timing!! A friends fb status had just mentioned the Clairol Fairies that visited her, and made me wonder (for 1/2 second) if I should request they visit me again…it has been years since their last visit! I joked that “I love my gray hairs best”, but recently letting my hair grow out after years of wearing it “sassy short” reminded me how very gray I’ve gotten! The over 50 isn’t so much about fighting the aging process, but more about wanting to look graceful when I’m 60!
It’s true though, the best thing I can wear is a smile, the worst – a sour disposition….(more @ my blog…)
Charina @ Pondered Thoughts says
This is beautiful Christi. Thank you!
Donna says
This was so adorable. It’s how we all feel, us girls. I’m so glad you empathize with your daughter and can lovingly teach her about how beautiful she really is. I really loved reading this.
maureen says
Thank you for the sweet reminder of what counts…when I was bemoaning turning 40, one friend said “Praise the Lord! He has allowed you to be here 40 years.” No more whining over here 🙂
Susanne says
I love this! And the reason I do is because I’d decided about five years ago to stop colouring my hair and let the natural beauty of it shine through. And it has! My hairdresser likes to call my gray hair ‘a pretty blonde that doesn’t need colouring’. The only person who likes to call it gray is my mother. It’s hurtful but I know how I REALLY look! We are who we are, we can’t change that because we’re not supposed to. And I’m satisfied with that 🙂
Stacey says
Simply beautiful devotion =o]
Thanks for sharing it <3
r.elliott says
Yes…the roots…a while back I feel like the Lord let me hear and see every grumpy gray hair lady…by the end of the day, I quickly realized that no one grows old gracefully without really letting God come and transform. That day I asked God…I want to be gray and gracious. Well…for my age54, I am not very gray…I don’t know what that says about my progress:)
Blessings~
Kaitlin @ Perceptions & Passions says
Beautiful post.
Being a beautiful person, a truely cherished daughter of God, is the real beauty that we are called to.
But, oh my goodness, if that isn’t the HARDEST pill to swallow at 14.
I remember that after I had a bad haircut as a teenager my mom took me to get a pedicure. Even though we had discussions about inner beauty and what God really desires us to “look” like, it was nice that she acknowledged just how “traumatic” the haircut was. Because, at fourteen, it really was!
Beth Williams says
I actually relished turning 40 & then some (47). If I have gray hairs, laugh lines, etc.–I’ve earned them caring for my aging parents, working hard, just plain life!
I’ve learned that true beauty is not in the outside adornment of a person, but their attitudes and actions–they speak loud & clear!
Christina says
Loved this! Just turned 40 in December and the gray hairs have been having a party on my head. I bought a few boxes of hair color but just haven’t been able to follow-through with it yet.
Anonymous says
As you know I have given up the “bottle” awhile ago and as I had a hard time coming to grips with “the older women” staring back at me as I look into the mirror I am reminded that I am who I am because I have a loving God who has a plan for me. I am sure that plan does not have whether I am white haired or black but if I am obedient to him and his word.
I can concentrate more on other things in my life then whether it is time to cover those grays and what will people think if I don’t.
Thanks Christi for always having the right wisdom and putting us on track. God loves us for us!!!
Lisa-Jo@thegypsymama says
Oh this is so fantastic. As the mom to a new little girl, I often wonder about beauty, make up and what I will say to her one day. love this thoughtfulness.
Thank you!
Shelly Miller says
Oh my, I wrote about my horrible, awful haircut in college yesterday and the vulgar grace I found through it. And I am right there with you in this decade of standing at the makeup counter – I know all the Chanel girls by name, really. Its hard to see yourself transform into something you don’t want, but the grace in it is the shift to what matters most in His love over us. I have a sixteen year old, and she teaches me a lot about inside beauty. She is much wiser than I was at that age. And I am grateful.
cassi says
I loved this post!
Christi says
Thanks for all of your sweet comments, ladies!!
Kristen says
Spot on, sistah! I turn 40 in a few weeks. I want to rejoice in this age (as Maureen said), and not bemoan it. I attended a b-day celebration for a woman last night turning 60 and it seems that she has less gray than I do! My hair gal calls greys “sparkles” and I love that! But I’m still learning how to embrace my sparkles and I’m finding it difficult. I shall post that verse from Proverbs.
Blessings!
Sherry says
I just hope my “grays” are as beautiful as my paternal grandmother’s were~~soft, silvery and light with the wind. I guess I’ll have to forego the Clairols and the Revlons to find out huh? 🙂
I miss Mama Reeves!!!!
Sherry