About the Author

Mary is a writer and speaker who lives for good books, spicy queso, and television marathons – but lives because of God’s grace. She writes about giving up on perfect and finding truth in unexpected places at MaryCarver.com. Mary and her husband live in Kansas City with their two daughters.

(in)side DaySpring: things we love
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things we love
& you will too!
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Reader Interactions


  1. That Psalm is so beautiful. And so is this post. I love the heart of it. And I love knowing how special I am to Him, even though I too often forget this truth.

  2. What beautiful words of affirmation and love. Thank you for your encouragement, your beauty and your sharing of your gift–of writing with us. It blesses. What a tender post, Mary and your heart shines through in every line. Bless you.

  3. I’m with Lisa-Jo, Mary. This is my favorite post of yours of all time!

    And not just because I wrote about One Direction, too (http://www.pensieve.me/2012/04/two-boys-and-a-mom-what-makes-you-beautiful-one-direction.html Yes, I love that song for ALL the reasons you listed, too!), but because of your profound simplicity; what we crave to hear and believe. Your encouragement is significant! Your affirmation, beautiful.

    Oh, Mary…you will strike a chord today. Of this, I have no doubts. Isn’t it cool how God can use a pop song to encourage his daughters? That is crazy/wonderful.


  4. I needed these words today. We have been struggling with infertility for 2 years, trying to have a second child. We were told this week at my age we are candidates for IVF, but that comes with a $15k price tag we’re not sure we will be able to manage.
    It’s difficult not to take it personal from God. Our first child is our main priority, always. People abuse children and yet have them freely. It feels like God is saying we’re not good enough. I cried as I read this post, needing to know that He still loves me. Thank you.

  5. Exactly what I needed to hear when I needed to hear it! And PS I LOVE that song the same way you do! I recently stated it is now my 2nd favorite song coming in after “Jessie’s Girl” Ha! But yes, for all those reasons-I actually pretend it’s totally about me 🙂

  6. Gurl, please. It doesn’t matter how old or young you are. One can appreciate music and in fact, I believe that because you are “beyond the age group” according to the world, mind you, it makes it all that much better. I belt that song out too. It’s a lovely song! And I enjoy boy bands waay too much for my own good (especially Korean ones).

    I always seek to hear those words. Feeling significant is not my strong suit and everyone needs to hear they are loved, beautiful and created in wonder by God. This post is wonderful, and I feel the need to pass it on. I was having a chat with a friend of mine, then I read this post and it just seemed to fit.

    I said; “I set out every day hoping to make a small difference even if it’s to someone I don’t know. Smiling at someone, for example, cheers people like crazy! It’s like you are saying; “I see you! You are great in your own way, you have potential! Don’t give up.” That’s what I feed into my smiles, into my words. So even if I feel insignificant… that smile gets passed on. Smiling at someone helps them to smile at someone else, because maybe, just maybe, they realize that it has a power to help someone feel better if their day is rough.
    I mean, WHO knows where that smile is getting passed?
    From me, to the clerk, to a friend, to an over-seas husband, to an army soldier, to a stranger in a distant land, to that person’s friend! It could freaking go global!
    And someone wouldn’t even know it.”

    Thanks for this! It is very encouraging.

  7. To say I needed to read this today would be a hugh understatement. Thank you for
    obeying Him and posting this. Blessings.

  8. I just subscribed to this blog a couple of days ago. You have NO IDEA how much I needed to read this today! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and, as embarrassing as the premise may be, your need to hear that you’re beautiful. At 47, I still need to hear it – perhaps moreso now than 20 years ago. But your message hit me right where it needed to – in my heart – and reminded me that while I may LIKE to hear it from my husband or my sons, KNOWING it is true because God made me that way is what I need to remember. Thanks again – SO glad the Spirit moved me to subscribe! Have a blessed day!

    • Molly, I’m so glad His timing led you to read this post at the right time! And you are so right – KNOWING we are beautiful in God’s eyes is so much more valuable than anything another person could tell us.

  9. The Word of God says that I am created, chosen, celebrated and cherished by my Father!!! Now that’s something to smile about!

  10. I could have written this post. I’ve had the exact same thoughts about this song – from embarrassment of liking it to wishing someone would sing it to me. I know that God loves me, that I’m wonderfully made and beautiful in His eyes. I never doubt that. Where I struggle is letting this be enough. I worry too much about the world’s definition of beauty and I feel like I’m not enough in others’ eyes. I daily work on relying on the fact that I am more than enough in the eyes of the only one that really matters.

  11. This brought tears to my eyes. The past few days I have been feeling decidedly ugly – overweight, undisciplined, you name it.

    And this morning I’ve been planning to start yet another diet. Beating myself up for not exercising my often than I do, etc. And while I know that health is important, I know that being skinny will not solve all my problems. I know that obsessing over how many calories I burn at the gym won’t make me a better person.

    Thank you for reminding me that I am loved and special -just the way I am. He made my body and He will show me how to take care of it.

    • Stephanie, you ARE, absolutely, loved and special! I’m so thankful God brought you here today. I struggle with those feelings you described, too, and have to force myself to listen to His truth. He loves us, and He knows we are beautiful.

  12. Thank you, thank you, thank you! You don’t know how those words have blessed me today. Thank you so much for opening up and stepping out to be used by God. Thank you.

  13. *awesome* post, Mary! Your words hugged an aching heart today. Thank you for allowing God to work through you!!!

  14. True confessions – You are not alone, I love this song too! And your words are timely for me, and closely wrapped up in why I love that song! Thank you!

  15. Girl, You’re not the only “Directioner” =) LOVE this song and I think it’s because of exactly what you wrote. My son also likes it, and I think today I’m going to go home and tell his little 9 year old self that telling his future wife those very words is so very important (ok, maybe not today… but I’m going to do that, eventually…) Thanks so much!

  16. You know, I wish I had you around when I was growing up hearing I was dumb and ugly! It haunted me for so many years but then the Lord did a real work of healing -One of the most important things He used was Psalm 139! I would cry at the verse that says “I am fearfully and wonderfully made, AND MY SOUL KNOWS IT VERY WELL!” because my soul did not know it very well. But that only showed me that I was suppose to know it. I would keep repeating this verse to myself every time I played the old tapes back until this became my new tape and I could actually and genuinely give thanks to the One who made me so very well!! We are not meant to run on any other fuel but thanks for how wonderfully we are created – each and every one of us – a unique expression of His own beauty!! And I just have to say AMEN!

    • Maria, I am so sorry to hear about those words, hurting your heart when you were growing up. But I’m so thankful to hear about your healing and belief in His love and truth now! I love how you put it – THIS is the fuel we are meant to run on. So true.

  17. Ok–I will confess to loving that song too:). This is such a great post. I love encouraging people and you show just how important it is. To answer your question about believing if people try to encourage me, I tend not to believe them. I also like what you said about your tank not staying full. I need to CONTINUE to encourage others, not just one time. Thank you for this post and be blesse:)

  18. I didn’t know how much I needed this today, but God did. Believing you have gifts and finding a place to use them is hard. You’ve inspired me to keep trying and to encourage others on the same journey. Thank you!

  19. Needed to hear this today. Been in a blue funky mood all week long about work stuff. Feeling “Stupid, dumb, useless”. Need all the encouragement I can get.

    Don’t feel bad about belting songs out. I do it all the time–I even dance to some songs. Love music & the expressiveness of it all!

    Great great post~!

  20. Ahh friend, I hear our Creator’s words through you, darling, and you make me believe them.

    Also? I believe in you, Mary. And I love you more than sunshine and birthday cake and feel good love songs all put together.

    I’m so going to you tube that video right now… 🙂

  21. Sounds like such a great song. It also sounds just like my husband of 25+ years. He says things like that to me everyday, multiple times a day. Oh, what it has meant to me to have someone saying such things to me. I grew up really not thinking I was pretty or worthy. I really to heart in college just who I am in Christ. My husband has also been a wonder example to our sons, their friends, and the men in his office. I love him so!!!!!

  22. I love that song as well and thank you for writing this….I needed to be reminded of God’s love for each & every one of us. That Psalm is beautiful!

  23. Beauty inside = beauty outside. It’s just that simple. I’m sure we all know someone who isn’t particularly beautiful on the outside, but their inward beauty just lights up the universe. I’ve always loved Christian music. I sang around the house everyday and even raised my kids singing to them instead of talking in conversations like normal people do. But I’m not a “singer,” just an ordinary person with an ordinary voice. Always yearned for a real voice. I know exactly what my gifts from God are and they bring me enormous joy when I can use them. However, I still longed to be able to sing with a lovely voice. One day, while working in my kitchen (and singing, of course) I said to God that I wished I could sing. After a few minutes I heard someone call to me, “Sherry.” I turned around to answer that person and said aloud, “What?” When I saw no one there I remembered that I was alone in the house and didn’t expect my family home for a while. At that moment I heard these words: ” Your singing is just as beautiful to me.” Immediately I knew Who said those words to me and I also knew what those words meant. God was saying to me that He made me, that He created us to worship Him, and that every voice lifted to Him was precious and beautiful. It changed me. Forever. Because I “got it.” I understood perfectly. And that was about 28 years ago. Yes, you can still catch me going around the house singing, but it brings me just as much joy as my God-given gifts. We all desire to beautiful in one way or another. The thing is this: WE ARE! We’re beautiful in every way to the One who created us!

  24. Thank you for these truths! I really needed to read them today. It is awful living in the negative thoughts about yourself, but the awesome thing is God will share truths with you to grab your hand to pull you out of those thoughts. Thank you for sharing your love of a silly song to bring truth to my life!

  25. I’ve quit singing and dancing around to the song long enough to say you have been God’s voice and “What Makes You Beautiful” God’s music– its own psalm– to my soul and rock n roll spirit! At 61 and single again (for decades), I still pray that God will send That Person who will say these words for the second half of our lives and to whom I can say them.l Until then, my ears will quicken to these words as God’s words in other voices and I will even more hasten to be God’s voice to others ( as my spirit and profession as teacher has allowed me to do, more importantly, than “content matter”). Thank you: I will floor and car dance on!

  26. And the other time you need to be seen as having something to offer is when you’re past 50 and suddenly it’s like you’ve got an invisible use-by date on your forehead, and it must have expired. Even if you visit a church, people are more likely to invite you to join the Golden Oldies Club, instead of finding out what is your vision, passion or spiritual gifts. As if all you need is entertaining! By implication it says that’s all that’s left in life for you. Well, I have news. I am 61, and I don’t want to sit around drinking coffee, or filling in my time going on bus trips (not that it doesn’t have its place) -but mainly I want to make a difference. I want to change the world!

  27. well mary, you had me at your moniker. (i couldn’t stand to not have a name to go with the story, so i scrolled down to find out who was drawing me in before diving in. and ah, the sweet, sweet joy of finding another soul that’s revelling in the imperfect!)

    thank you for this encouraging post. and thank you for the gift of your transparency — what a beautiful treasure you just offered the world here.

    blessings to you, sweet soul,

  28. I was greatly encouraged! I too, love that song, thanks to my adorable nephew Lincoln!

    God bless you!

  29. Thank you. Thank you. My husband has been gone for a few weeks and I have felt SOO alone…..but aside from that I’ve felt for a long time unappreciated. Your words truly spoke to me and I’m thankful I’m not alone when it comes to desiring to be noticed and that it is okay!!!! Thank you!!!

    • You are definitely not alone, Hope. I believe God placed in us a desire to be adored – and the only way we can truly fill that hole is by accepting His love. I pray He comforts you while your husband is away and sends reminders that you ARE beautiful!

  30. I’m definitely waaaay past this bands age range, but it has resonated with me as well. These were words I longed to hear all my life. I have finally found someone who says the sweetest things that speak to the deepest places of my soul. It’s all so unfamiliar to me and it’s so hard to receive. I’m trying day by day to accept the words of love and affirmation he pours over me.

  31. On February 10, I was still opening my eyes, when my husband with a majestic smile said to me, “I’m the happiest man of the world!” I asked him why. He responded, “I awake up every day with a pretty woman.” I hugged him and kissed him. During the day, I tried to pest him for getting up and go outside with me. Unsuccessfully. He got up for dinner, a great one, with his kind of roasted beef in juicy veggies. Garnishing all, I prepared his favorite sourdough bread with cream cheese. That was his dish combination when he was able to cook for me. By 1:30 am. in my hands he smiled and could not say “sweetheart.” He sighed his last breath. I have his morning “pretty woman,” the last I heard from his heart pumps to say to me good-bye. He’s in the journey with God now away from me.

  32. My little grand girls have that song on a Kid’s Rock album and we all know the words to it and like you, I love it. These little ones, ages 10, 8 and 3 have inherited the genes to make them very big for their ages. Mom and Dad are tall so the girls could never be anything else. They really do have the facial structure to be beauties as their mom is, they are just big and society doesn’t celebrate that. I just love what that song is telling them in a louder voice than the kids at school who tell them they are not beautiful. We sing it every day and hear the CD most days and their little faces light up with smiles every single time. Everyone should hear that and I know it so well because my dad always called me Shep, our dogs name, because I looked like a dog. I’m old now but when I look at pics of me when I was young I’m shocked every time to see that I really was beautiful. I heard it from two husbands but I never believed it until age had done it’s thing and I’m really not anymore. One voice can make such a difference and these precious little one will hear it as long as the song can be sung. Even if the CD is long gone I’ll be singing it to them and so will their parents who understand why they should just as much as I do. I know that everyone reading your sweet words today knows someone they should sing it to. Buy the CD with that one song only and pass them out to women and men, girls and boys who may only hear it from you. Thanks for your sweet message. God bless you and those who think you are beautiful. Count me in that catagory.

    • Gayla, I cannot even fathom the pain you felt with a nickname that horrid. I’m so sorry. But I’m also encouraged to hear how you are making sure your granddaughters know that they are beautiful and loving them out loud like that.

  33. That’s why I love that song too – it touches that part of me that wants to be noticed and valued and told I’m pretty. 🙂 Music doesn’t have to be “Christian” to be lifegiving! It’s nice to hear a popular song that is uplifting instead of about broken hearts and failed romances.

  34. I wish I’d sung that song, or one like it, to my kids when they were little. I wish someone would have sung it to me then too. They didn’t, but it’s never too late. I needed to hear it tonight. Thank you.

  35. I love this song too…I wish every little girl (and every woman’s 10 year old self) could hear these words and know them to be true. I was very blessed to have an earthly father who taught me that I was beautiful and capable of anything, and who showed me just how much my Heavenly Father loves me. I am now blessed to have a husband who prefers me without makeup, and reminds me that even when I’m don’t feel lovely – he sees me no other way. He too, reflects God’s love to me always. Such a gift!

    If you want to enjoy your favourite song in a whole new way – check out the cast of Anything Goes video on youtube. The filmed it during between shows on a Saturday – so full make up and costume appears! This was my introduction to the song, and truly – it’s my favourite way to hear it! (although it’s still One Direction singing).

  36. hi mary,luv ur post nd dis site,i just happened 2 stumble across it nd i LUV every bit of dis site.i wud luv 2 subscribe bt dnt know how,i wud lyk 2 c u bt im faraway in NIGERIA-West Africa.luv ya

  37. hi mary,luv ur post nd dis site,i just happened 2 stumble across it nd i LUV every bit of dis site.i wud luv 2 subscribe bt dnt know how,i wud lyk 2 c u bt im faraway in NIGERIA-West Africa.

  38. It’s funny that I just came across this. (God’s timing can be impeccable!) I have been learning to accept myself just as God created me; without makeup, without straightened hair, etc. It may not seem like such a big deal to some, but I went out yesterday without a care in the world about the way I looked. I have been focusing more on God’s call for my life rather than the way I look, and it feels amazing. He will truly make you feel beautiful and speak those words if you just listen. It is my hope that you, and others will truly hear God singing those love songs to you.

  39. I have been on this healing journey for a long time.
    Today when I want to run from feeling anymore pain and difficult emotions I am puttering around blogs sites and I come here
    And this was so helpful and encouraging.
    God’s timing is perfect!

  40. I just heard that boy band perform that song during the Olympics, and I was quite impressed!! You’re not alone there! I’m 40 years old and I like the song too…and want to make sure my daughters hear it

  41. Hi, Mary, I just found you yesterday (Thursday). I was looking for a recipe. After what you said and reading all the comments, I’m not sure what I can add. I have never done this before. I grew up believing there was NOTHING beautiful about me. I was told but only because they wanted something. I have believed in God since I was a really little girl but I’m not sure how. In my adult life, things haven’t been a whole lot better. The two exceptions, first is my son. I also had my younger sister (we were only 11 months apart) and she loved me unconditionally. But she died suddenly about nine years ago. Even today, it is difficult to even talk about her without crying. GOOD NEWS! Just recently, I found a small church and the members have opened their arms to me and treat me like family. It is changing my life. I have been reading and praying trying to soak up as much as I can as fast as I can. I have no doubt the Lord guided me to you. In what you have written, you have blessed me today. The old saying, “the Lord works in mysterious ways”. Thank you SOOOOO much. Now, I have a safe haven to go to. I thank the Lord for sending me your way