About the Author

At (in)courage, we empower women to be like Jesus. Our writers share what’s going on in their life and how God’s right in the middle of it. They bring their joys & struggles so that you can feel less alone and be empowered by the hope Jesus gives.

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Reader Interactions


  1. I have four kids and have been able to stay home with them now for 2 1/2 years. This is a blessing, but there is something lonely about it too. Motherhood is a great adventure, but there is an aspect of loneliness that isn’t welcome in my life. While I am grateful for my life, it’s good to have these hard things too to sit in peace with God.

  2. I am struggling with this very thing right now. We are a military family and have been at our current duty station for just over 2 years now, and I still haven’t made even one close friend. Having had so many close friends at our last duty station, I definitely feel a void now.

    • Hi Christi, I had military families in mind as I was writing this. I’ve moved a few times, and it really does make finding/keeping friends hard, but I can’t imagine how difficult it must be when moving is just a part of your life. So many sacrifices that our military families make. Thank you! Praying for you today.

  3. Hi Gianna ~ yeah I agree, being a stay-at-home mom can be isolating (at least for me). It really does take hard work to establish good friendships! Prayers for you, from one SAHM to another.

  4. I have the same strong desire for just one good friend. But then I remember that my husband is my best friend, my children are my friends, my mother is my friend. I usually focus on that and my sadness over not having that one really good friend quickly dissipates.

  5. So many people are in this situation right now – what a timely word! Thanks for turning us all back to our true source of hope while we wait on His perfect provision – thank you!

  6. Thank you for this encouragement. I’ve been telling myself these things… I know God is with me, He is my friend and constant companion. I’ve had 3 close friends move away in the past 4 months. I’ve never felt this alone before despite my husband and kids being there to support me.

    • Praying for you this morning, Amy. I understand, I really do. Wish I could have you over for coffee. May God bless you with the friendship your heart desires.

  7. Oh, my goodness! I am a homeschool mom to 5 beautiful girls and have the most incredible, amazing husband. Life is good, but lonely. I miss the deep friendships I once had. How I wish I would find that again, but I have no clue at this stage in my life how to find it. Thank you for speaking the words of my heart, there is there. encouragement

  8. These words are so strong for me. I am an emptynester and I have felt the lonliness for many years. I think that because I am so family oriented, this is even harder. I remember leaving my Daddy’s house on many occasions (we only lived 5 minutes away)and he would say “Sister you and the girls don’t have to leave”. I now know the same ache. He loved family and so do I! Since the passing of both my parents, my two beautiful daughters leaving home for college and moving an hour away, I still to this day feel the lonliness. I finally realized one lonely Friday night, that I was not alone but I was by myself (Southern saying). I know my God is with me always. I also believe he hurts for us as we do for our own children and being “by myself” is very tough at times but being able to read great posts like this makes me aware that I am not the only one who endures loneliness. Thanks for all the support found here.

    • Wow LaRhonda, thanks for sharing your comment. I can’t even imagine the void I would feel without my parents and children. But God is always enough for us; even if we don’t understand it. Prayers for you today! Thanks for being a part of this community.

  9. For years I have had the same loneliness and I have relied on god to fill that void. I knew that he was doing it for me to be near to him, so I wouldn’t replace him with a human being. I trusted him to fill that void and after years and years of trusting him, he hasn’t filled it. He hasn’t comforted me or embraced me through it. I’ve grown lonelier and lonelier to the point where I resent my children because I can’t even spend time in prayer without interruption. The earlier I wake, the earlier they wake. I’ve come to realize that apparently god doesn’t hear my prayers. I’m happy for those he does hear and he does comfort and answer, but angry now that he doesn’t hear mine. I’m moving on without him because I see no difference that he makes to me.

    • I’m sorry to hear this, but I know what you mean. God wants us to have friends and fellowship. In fact, proverbs 18:1 says “Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgement.” basically we become like targets for the enemy to the love we have like our children or husband, against us through resentment. Which sounds like what may be happening. Joining a community online or on facebook. Sometimes the enemy feeds us lies about our insecurities or that we don’t have time or we have too much responsibility to have fun, but JOY is what God’s promise is for us. He wants us to be encouraged and supported by friends AND he works through them to comfort us with human arms and hands.

      The church I go to hosts weekly community groups online while we’re studying “The Story” book. Here is the link


      I would love for you to be my guest to the community board. The actual live chats are hosted on Monday nights at 7:00 PM PST we’ve developed very close bonds already and we’re growing a very deep understanding of the bible. I really will be praying for you and hope you will join us 🙂

      ps if that link doesn’t work you can email me and I’ll get you to the board. My email is bdaileyfam@gmail.com

  10. It is hard to have 1 really close friend. I am blessed to have one in my hubby’s ex-mother-in-law. She and I can chat on the phone for a long time, we e-mail and text each other & pray for our families.

    Older people have a super hard time with lonliness. They may have had some close friends, but as they age move on in life–they lose contact or their friends die. The worst is when a spouse dies and you are left alone. That is when depression can set in. This has happened to my father. Fortunately I have a loving chruch family that cares for him and us and is praying for him now.

    I urge people to try to cultivate 1 good friendship and stay in contact throughout life–moving, having kids, etc. Stay in contact!!

  11. I have recently had a situation that’s entirely beyond my control come between me and my best friend of 12 years…my entire adult life. We try to love through it… but things change. Relationships change. It’s painful… 🙁 I do experience loneliness with this distance between she and I… and I try to respond to God’s invitation to intimacy with Him in the midst of it… and I have other friends in my life but building a friendship of that depth just takes time… time, and shared experience. The difficult thing is to MAKE myself jump into new relationships and CREATE shared experiences. But it takes energy and intentionality and sometimes I’m just TIRED. ANYway… so I appreciate your encouragement to REST in Him in those moments…. Soooo…. thanks. 🙂 😉

    • Dana, thanks so much for your comment. I agree completely ~ even really strong friendships can go through changes and they dissipate or just aren’t the same any more. It’s hard to be motivated sometimes to build friendships when your last friendship didn’t end well. God is always faithful. Always. He will see you through.

  12. wow. A bit behind on emails, just read this now. This. is. me. Just last night, I expressed my feelings of lonliness to my husband. Every day, I long for that one friend to pick up the phone and chat with, to meet up with for an afternoon of shopping, a brisk fall walk. I know God holds me in the palm of his hand, but I am simply lonely. Thanks for sharing. There is some comfort to know that as a mom, even though I am lonely, I am not alone.

    • Thanks so much for your comment, Trista. It always helps me to know that there are other people with similar experiences and struggles. Praying for you this morning, that God will care for you and bless you.

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