“Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” Romans 12:10 NIV
They used to tell me during my training at Bank of America, “Smile. They can’t see your expression over the phone, but when you’re smiling it shows through your voice.” I’ve always put that tidbit of wisdom in my mind to retrieve later. It made sense even to twenty-something year old me, and it has stayed with me now at thirty-something. Recently, a comment reminded me that this saying is also true in the spiritual sense.
If we’re busy in our mind putting down something like the color of the carpet or someone’s actions, your dark thoughts will show on your expression. The small muscles in your face tense and your eyes will look too sharp. This makes a person unapproachable. At church, if my mind fills with angry thoughts, my husband tells me I look like I am in a less than worshipful mood. How can I serve on days like that if I am too busy focusing on what I want rather than what others need?
So when I began instructing people on how to reach out to others, I said, “Smile. Make eye contact. Be approachable.”
A person seeking a friend is only going to see my closed expression as I put down things or people, and they will keep their cares to themselves. They will go somewhere else. So the wisdom that Bank of America has taught me during those younger years are still true today, but with a slight alteration:
“Smile. You may not agree with someone or something, but when you’re smiling and focused on others you’re less apt to complain about trivial matters.”
What can I pray about for you?
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A smile can make someones day, help someone to feel they matter or simply have been seen. A smile for others is so important even if you don’t feel like smiling for yourself. Thank you for sharing. Blessings.
Amen! :o)
Smiling and positivity (is that even a word?) in your voice is so important. I completely agree with your post here today. I love it, and I live it.
Thanks, Lisa!
I’m a receptionist and this is really hard for me to remember sometimes in business of people needing this and that, I can get caught up in a complaining attitude instead of a smile and willing attitude to help them. Thank you for the reminder today.
Me, too, Danielle. :o)
Good advice. Thank-you, Nikole
You’re welcome!
This was very helpful to me today. Can you help me pray for patience with my two young children? I am pregnant and very tired and I am sure that my face is less than smiling these days.
Just did. May God give you the strength you need for this day and the days following!
Thanks for this reminder to smile! I’ve been under a lot of stress lately for various reasons and it’s negatively impacting my health. I would appreciate your prayers for my health & emotional well-being and for my two sons to find decent jobs, which would help our family tremendously! Thank you~
Prayed, Diane. Feel free to keep me updated. Any of you.
mmm what a great concept… especially this part: “A person seeking a friend is only going to see my closed expression as I put down things or people, and they will keep their cares to themselves.”
I need prayer to be content where God has me right now. I miss my old community… my husband and I don’t feel as though we fit in to our new church community and we’re really struggling as the church is quite small… I’m having a really difficult time growing and opening up in this new community due to many misunderstandings and bad communication… I just want to be back with my old community 🙁
Anna, I just prayed for you now. Please keep me updated and know that God will help give you the courage and to help you let go. I also prayed for people to look past the bad communication and misunderstandings. Please keep me updated.
You’re spot on with this, Nikki! I think most of us would be appalled if we had a mirror in front of us during the day and we actually saw from our facial expressions what other people see in us. A smile does wonders for everyone who witnesses it. 🙂
Thanks! :o)
How can you pray for me today? I need a lot of things from Dr. Jesus, Holy Spirit Comforter, and Father of Love (God). I’ve had chronic illness all my life, with accompanying weakness. Year by year the list of serious maladies grows longer. I haven’t been out of pain in well over 20 years. On a good day, I can manage to walk 2 or 3 blocks before I have to sit and rest to catch my breath. (Fortunately, my very small town has benches in every block downtown). On bad days, I can walk from bedroom to kitchen as needed (that is, several times a day), but only with tears and sighs.
So many bloggers are writing excitedly about all their activities, and how they are fulfilling great, God-given dreams, but don’t realize there are some who can only look on wistfully, from afar. The Bible says to praise him in all things, and so, I do, the harder the burden, the more singing hymns and loudly determinedly reciting scriptures, sometimes through tears or gritted teeth. I can thus offer him a sacrifice of praise and present my body as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable in his sight.
I rejoice that some people have caring friends who cook for them and run errands and offer shoulders to cry on and make eye contact and give out gentle smiles and quiet caring. And understand the need to “be present” but not try to “fix” things. Such persons can be a great comfort to those with quasi-short-term needs, but few people remember, or have the emotional and physical constitution to carry through — or even KNOW ABOUT — persons with lifelong needs and grieving for all the things that have been lost.
I’m thankful that Almighty God doesn’t give up on loving and valuing his kids (though sometimes we may not “feel his presence”).
Blessings on you today, Nikole.
Kingfisher, even those of us fraught with chronic illness can serve God. You have a purpose and I prayed today that you may find comfort and your purpose. I prayed for healing either physically or mentally as you go through the day to day.
Kingfisher,
Praying for you right now. May the Lord God wrap His loving/healing arms around you and hug you! I pray you have more good days than bad!
God Bless!
I would appreciate prayers for my progression interview. At my college to advance from year two to year three we have to interview and have a writing assessment over christmas break. I think I can probably make it through the writing assessment, but in my practice interviewing I am still barely getting through my name loud enough to have any chance of being heard, because I get so nervous, and that will certainly not be enough to pass.
VA, I prayed for you.
That I smile 🙂 Thanks!
Prayed.
Lately I haven’t been the cheerful me I used to be. Used to love to smile & I knew people around me were smiling also.
Now that I deal with public daily and have aging parent to deal with–I don’t always smile. I know people around me sense that I’m stressed or in a bad mood. Fortunately most people at work understand and ask me what’s wrong, but I’m afraid I turn off the public.
Pray for me to assist my dad in making a major life decision–where to live–apartment or assisted living. He’s having a hard time adjusting, but knows he needs mroe help with daily living.
Thank you very much!
My fellowship group and I prayed for you tonight, Beth.
Your face does say it all. As a young Mom I read something that said, when you are angry or yelling @ your child…try to picture in your minds eye, what you look like/what your child see’s from the expression on your face “. I knew it wasn’t a pretty sight.. And as I continued to raise my kids, (who are now 38 & 35)., I never let that thought escape my mind. I still disciplined, but I always made sure that my face didn’t do the talking, but my heart .
Amen to that!
[…] (In)Courage, I wrote What Your Facial Expression Says. In that article, I spoke about how much our facial […]