Guest Post #5
I go through dozens of Grandma’s collected pieces of china, each one delicate and fine.
And my mom, she had a story for each one:
“Oh, that was THE candy dish! If I snuck a piece, I had to lift the silver lid just right, so it wouldn’t make any noise.”
“She set out that nut dish – with this silver spoon – at every circle meeting.”
“She put mashed potatoes in that bowl!”
I scour the internet for details on the precious china & glassware, and what I find makes me gasp. Each piece is worth actual dollars! Some pieces are worth several actual dollars! The day I loaded her white Haviland china into the back of the minivan, I drove almost as carefully as the day we brought home our son. As I set each piece in its new home in my cupboards, I pause to really look at them. Light and tiny but very much present atop of plates are lines where knives scraped across them decades ago. ‘She actually used these!’ I marvel.
And that thought strikes me hard, because I am a saver.
Gardenia perfume I wore on my wedding day? I spritz it only on our anniversary. Beautiful teacup from my wedding shower? I haven’t used it since. Crisp white linen napkins, received for our engagement? I only bring them out for Christmas dinner. All these gifts, collecting dust.
And most likely, their giver wouldn’t be too happy if they knew their gifts to me were just taking up space.
While some things are more meaningful when held onto, the idea of saving my best things doesn’t sit well in my heart. What else do I save? My best listening ear is reserved for only dear friends in crisis. The best of my servant’s heart is reserved for those who can somehow serve me back {ugly, but true}. The best of my God-given gifts are reserved to the point where they become buried and I argue when He asks me to use them.
It’s as though the things we save will save us.
‘Don’t hoard treasure down here where it gets eaten by moths and corroded by rust or—worse!—stolen by burglars. Stockpile treasure in heaven, where it’s safe from moth and rust and burglars. It’s obvious, isn’t it? The place where your treasure is, is the place you will most want to be, and end up being.’ – Matthew 6:19-21
My friend Sally said this week, ‘You become what you behold.’ What am I becoming if I am holding back the best of my things and the best of who God made me to be out of fear? It’s what Shauna has shared with us throughout Bread & Wine; the opening up of our table has little to do with the actual food. Rather it has everything to do with the spirit in which it’s offered, and the acceptance that while the food may be cold and un-edible, the experience may still be warm and sweet.
“It’s so easy to think that because you can’t do something extraordinary, you can’t do anything at all.” (p. 209-210) – Shauna Niequist, Bread & Wine
There is deep power in the loving of others, and we are able to both give and receive that when we gather around the table and give our best.
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My grandma’s dishes are now unpacked in my kitchen cupboards. Over time, I will add to the faint knife scrapes on the plates, so that when my son goes thru them in 60 years, he too will have stories to tell.
by Anna, Girl With Blog
AND TODAY’S SECOND HELPING!
One Plate at a Time
I have not always been a girl’s girl. Growing up in a neighborhood of boys, I played hard and long with my brother and his friends; eschewing Barbie and her crew for tall leafy trees to climb; deep cool ravines to run rampant in; and the half-built cinder-block structures near the soccer field in the park that made a great fort.
This trend continued all through school as I made friends with the girls…but kept my best friendships for the guys and their ability to keep things simple and uncomplicated.
Fast-forward 20-something years in my life and I’m all about my women friends. My grown up girlfriends. I’m still a fringe-of-the-party kind of loner, but there are a handful that I hold close to my heart.
I’d seen some of them online before I met them in person – friends of friends who shared a monthly supper club in common – I’d see their likes and comments on mutual friends’ Facebook posts; hear about them at church gatherings; come into a conversation where someone told a story about someone else and there was that name again.
And then I met them.
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Oh, friends–this is Rebekah’s first ever Guest Post and I think she might be the most excited contributor of this study! Please click to continue reading One Plate at a Time at her blog Three Bees in a Blue Bonnet, and be sure to comment so she knows you visited.
Leave a Comment
Rebekah says
Anna – I’m so happy to finally get to read this. So happy to be sharing space with you today. From one saver to another, I just GET that part. I can tell you about cards I’ve purchased and not sent, little things tucked away … you know. And yes, even some memories in the form of plates and platters from grandmothers and aunts that I need to pull out more often. Because making more memories WITH them is what’s important, right? And our gifts from Him? Pouring those out – best first and always as we love – that’s the thing to strive for. Blessed by your words. So much.
anna {girlwithblog} says
The cards!! I forgot about all my cards!! I have an entire drawer full. Good grief. You are so right – making memories WITH them is what matters. May we write cards and scrape knives and enjoy today =)
Kerith Stull says
What a touching post! –As a young teenager, I received many items from my grandmother as she was cleaning out her house. I still use many of them today. I could kick myself for getting rid of a few (that silver plated tea set I thought I’d never us). I get such pleasure remembering my grandmother when I use the items. That verse from Matthew is so right — Why save things up? Use them! Share them! That’s what He does for us!
anna {girlwithblog} says
‘That’s what He does for us!’ Exactly!! I think of those grandmothers, and I know they would take joy in seeing us use their treasures. It is an honor to have them!
Kate says
This is so me, too. I keep those sweet gifts and trinkets safe, where they do me no good. There’s all my paternal Grandmother’s china sitting wrapped in paper in a box somewhere, and I don’t even really remember what it looks like. I think it needs to come out, be admired, have knives scrape across the surface and have someone feel it’s heft in their hands. Then I can look at it myself, in admiration, and say ‘Someone used that.’
More and more, as I get older, I relinquish the need to save everything for a special occasion, as I realize that every day I awaken is a special occasion, that I’m never promised one more sunrise, and as I sit, with a box of china in paper and precious mementos strewn around the house, that today’s sunrise could be my last and all that beauty will just sit there, unloved. So I sip tea in my bone china cups and use the best silver when friends come to dine. Because…. why not??
anna {girlwithblog} says
Spot on. Why not?
I do hope we get to use it at our potluck. What a fitting occasion to haul it out =) Love you, friend.
Amy Tilson says
I struggle with this myself. I don’t know why I’m afraid to “use it up”, there is surely more to replace it with. Love this so much – almost as much as you! Beautiful!
anna {girlwithblog} says
Hugs, friend!!
Darlene says
This is my heart!
I have such a love for beautiful dishes; new ones and old, sentimental ones.
I just lost my Granny last summer and I have a place setting of her china that is waiting on me to get displayed on my dining room wall.
My mother, for Christmas a few years ago, gave me her milk cup from when she was a child. It is a pewter measuring cup actually. She said, “Please don’t stick this up in the cabinet, use it.”
Wise words from a beautiful woman.
Thank you for this post and for the encouragement to not hide these treasures, but to use them and serve with them, enjoy them and bless with them.
anna {girlwithblog} says
Wise words, indeed. Love that.
Amy Ward says
Anna,
What a beautiful story of cherishing memories and enjoying the special things…all the time. I often save things for special occasions, but in realizing how fleeting life is, have begun to enjoy those special gifts so that part of everyday has something special to embrace.
anna {girlwithblog} says
‘…so that part of everyday has something special to embrace.’ YES. Exactly.
Julie Sunne says
What a powerful take-home point, Anna! Thanks for sharing your treasured memories–as well as your cherished dishes–with others.
Jessica Suggs says
Anna, This was such a great post, and so needed! I have my some of my grandma’s and great grandma’s dishes in my hutch. I need to start bringing them out more often. Thank you for sharing and for challenging us today!
Jessica
Lyli @3-D Lessons for Life says
Ana, there is so much wisdom here. Thank you for reminding me to LIVE.
Rachel Q says
When my mother passed away 10 years ago, my sister and I were left to go through, sort and distribute. Memories poured out as we opened the cupboards and drawers. I decided from that point on I wasn’t going to tuck things away but we would love, enjoy and use Mom’s things. Yes, we’ve broken some bowls, plates and butter dishes but I know she’s in heaven saying the same thing, ” Enjoy them, use them and remember us together as you eat around the table” Not only do I tell my kids the memories but we make our own new memories as well. Thanks for the post!
Rhonda Quaney says
SO much here that speaks to my heart. My grandma, mom and sister all loved dishes and fine china. I never had a matching set of dishes until after I turned 50! Now my mom is gone, I have been at my dad’s and opened the cabinet just to run my hand over the edge of a piece she loved. And certain pans or bowls had recipes she traditionally fixed and served in them. Your writing brought all that sweetness to mind.
Thank you for the blessing Anna!
– RQ
Beth Williams says
I, too, like to savor some things. But I don’t believe in hoarding anything. If I don’t wear it or use it in a certain time frame then out it goes to someone else who could use it. I want to spread my God given blessings.
Don’t get me wrong–there is nothing wrong with saving family heirlooms, enjoying them & savoring the memories they bring. But God wants us to bring our best to Him all the time. Be a good friend, share meals with others–help the world. I want the world to know Jesus any way I can share Him@!
car insurance buffalo says
An impressive share! I’ve just forwarded this onto a coworker who has been conducting a little homework on this. And he in fact ordered me lunch simply because I found it for him… lol. So let me reword this…. Thank YOU for the meal!! But yeah, thanx for spending time to talk about this issue here on your website.
Fiona@A Woman of Notes says
Wow, I never connected my hoarding of china with my hoarding of my gifts and friendship and time and grace and forgiveness and love and listening and …
Who am I to decide who gets my ‘best’?
This is just what I needed to read today, thanks. Have been thinking about the nature of friendship and how many good friends I can “manage”, “cope with” or commit to. But God doesn’t want me to portion out my love and friendship according to some complicated scheme I’ve cooked up. God’s love and plans are bigger than that!
Thanks for this post.
Amanda says
Oh, friend, this is so lovely and challenging! This struck me especially — “their giver wouldn’t be too happy if they knew their gifts to me were just taking up space.” Yes, let’s lavishly use our gifts for His glory, not being afraid of what might break or tear because He is in control. He wants us to pour out our best for Him. I tend to stick with things that are safe, things I can control or predict, people I know best. But He wants us to love extravagantly and freely! Love you! 🙂