Randi Helm
About the Author

Randi is a wife and mom of two kids. Living in the Holland Michigan she loves to immerse herself in studying the Bible and discovering truth and answers for everyday living. Her honest, practical writing is evident of this. Her hope is to continue to explore God’s truth through creative...

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& you will too!
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Reader Interactions


  1. Randi, I can so relate your article as I find myself in place of transition not quite knowing where I fit any more. And it is easy to look around at the lives of others and compare. Lately God has been reminded me to put my focus on His many benefits rather than what I think is missing.

    • Wanda,
      I too need to daily remember to stop the comparison game and think about the good that God has brought into my life and focus on being ok with what He asks of me daily!
      Growing with you girl!

  2. This is such a beautiful post. Earlier this week, I was in a small group and this was what was said “Don’t compare yourself to others, but connect to the word of God and love you.” God has created all of us and we are all broken individuals. We can run chose to run after other things in our inadequateness or we can chose to run to the one who has the roadmap of life. To me running to Him will always be the best way.
    I find encouragement in the Isaiah 30:18 (amp) is says”And therefore the Lord [earnestly] waits [expecting, looking, and longing] to be gracious to you; and therefore He lifts Himself up, that He may have mercy on you and show loving-kindness to you. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) are all those who [earnestly] wait for Him, who expect and look and long for Him [for His victory, His favor, His love, His peace, His joy, and His matchless, unbroken companionship]!”

    We are truly blessed, He is our one true companion.

  3. Oh, my propensity to compare has been brought to the surface lately. Along with envy and jealousy. Lord, forgive me and meet me here.

    Your words echo mine. Good thoughts.

    Kind Blessings,
    Kate 🙂

    • The problem with comparision is we neither know what God has in mind for the other person we look on with knowing. He has to remind me bc its like i resent His goodness to another person im saying in essence they dont deserve what they have but i do when really maybe they dont but truth is neither do i.i struggle with being merciful to those who dont get what they have honestly

      • If we really receive the love of God for ourselves it is easier to rejoice in the blessings of others because we are secure in His love for us (unearned I might add).

        Be Blessed

    • Kate,
      I’m so glad that today you found God’s voice call you to stop comparing! All too often I get sucked in and I too need to be reminded to stop looking around in comparison. Thanks for reading.

  4. I’ve been wrestling with similar feelings in my own season of transition. You’re so right – jealousy and envy can never help us when we’re hurting. Thank you, Randi, for this word today and for your honesty. Praying for you.

  5. This post is such a blessing to my heart this morning! My children have grown, I’ve been laid off work for the first time in about 25 years last Oct, my husband’s work comp disability was terminated & he is trying to find work again after having the same job for over 20 years. We are both so busy trying to find jobs with no income or insurance, that I am alone most of the time. At night, my husband goes fishing to relieve stress. I am lonely, very confused & trying not to be fearful about the future, but I am seeking the Lord.

    • Susan,
      My heart goes out to your pain today. I can only imagine the load that you must feel on your shoulders. I remember once at one of the lowest and most frightening points in my life a friend said, “you must feel like you are on a tight rope suspended in mid air with no safety net underneath.” I totally felt this way. And then she said, “God is your safety net.” Sometimes God allows nothing but Him to be our safety and security, and this can be so uncomfortable. Stay in His Word sister. Confide in mature Christian friends and ask them to pray WITH you as you have need. Praying together brings God near in ways that can soothe fears and bolster faith. Praying for you today!

  6. I used to be that woman . . . absolutely great job (read important and impressive to people), beautiful home, lots of activities . . . read that LOTS of activities. I retired early due to breast cancer, we moved to an area my husband grew up in where I know no one, and while my husband helped build (physically build) our church we attend, I don’t really have a place there I am lonely. Due to cancer other issues have cropped up — vision and hearing problems both at the same time. I feel so very lost, as in “does God even care or have me here for anything.” Thank you for your words. Especially since the vision and hearing problems (as in losing some of each and that is really frightening), I have found myself closer to God. Giving up this world for Him is hard and sometimes He causes things to happen to “help” you find your way home.

    • This is tru flesh and blood will not inherit the kingdom we try to bring our toys with us but its not going to work. So He kindly HELPS me remember this is not my home by little trials discouragements and disappointments. If i never lost perhaps i would get confused about whats really important. Perhaps i would fall in love with my job husband or fab life instead of Christ. Perhaps.

    • Becky,

      Praying for you! May God bring some women into your life that you could befriend.

      Loving father,

      Please surround Becky with your loving arms, help her to feel loved. Bring some women into her life that she could befriend and really get to know.


    • Becky,
      Thank you for sharing your honesty! I think there are more women out there that can relate to this than you know! There have been times in my life that God has seemed to be pressing me that He is enough. It’s during those times when places to belong, people to journey with and work to be productive have seemed to slip away. I am praying for you today that God will give you the perspective and peace that you need to live with Him. I pray that He would give you special moments that remind you that He is with you always and He is your good shepherd. When everything else fails and others are not around, He is still enough and faithful to you.
      Prayers for you today!

  7. In a season of transition for a few years and trying to stay content without answers…without a community of believers…feeling confused—your words echo my loneliness and its root (jealousy/envy) and your message has provided me a focus of hope. Thank you and bless you.

  8. Such a fabulous post. You spoke right to my heart. I’m in a season of transition too. We moved a year ago to a new town, all four of our children are adults now. I retired early due to some physical difficulties, but as soon as we got here my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 kidney failure, so neither one of us were able to work! We went from being somewhat comfortable financially to living on a very limited fixed income. I find myself comparing myself to other women in my groups. I’m always thinking if I were thinner, richer, etc. life would be grand. Those are all lies Satan is trying to tell me! God gives me all that I could ever ask for and so much more. I’m beginning to make new friends here, and seriously, they like me for me, not for a number on the scale or my bank balance!

    • This is helpful i have been reflecting on my errors failed relationships, not asking God first and why it never pays to trust in the flesh it pays horrible dividends. I am suffering bc of Gods rules i did not know bc of my lack of discipline of course when i was in it it never occured to me what i would face but i hope to ask God before hand im in a new town and havecto start over

    • And you know what Lisa, more importantly, you are Gods precious treasure. Dont let the enemy tell you otherwise. You were created for such a time as this. He loves you! You are beautiful!

    • Lisa, it sounds like God is giving you new treasures right where you are. I’m so glad that He has revealed to you what really matters in the midst of your current struggles. He is freedom and sometimes we can’t realize that when we are in the throws of loosing the things that we thought were supposed to make us feel secure. Grateful for your words and honesty today! I know they have blessed someone else!

  9. In this world u will have trouble..but Jesus overcomes..bible
    But i mean envy doesnt help i have to rest its hard at times but if i didnt have to struggle to get anywhere i suppose it wouldnt b worth it.

  10. yes I feel lonely to!!!!!!! I have people who say they are my friends but never call or included me in their lives,I have family who say they care and included me in their activities but never really take the
    time to talk my husband and myself.And when I try to talk to them about things{related to god and how bad the world is} I am always made out to be the bad person.I have a mother who is always geting mad and screaming at me when things do not go right ,which she causes her self.But yet I
    am the one that is at fault.Some days I just don’t want to be around any of them.Its hard for me to
    understand why this all happens when I try so hard to be what god wants me to them!!!!!!

    • I can relate Anita.You are not responsible for how other people respond. Their actions are not necessarily an indication that you are doing something wrong. You are responsible to God and He is gracious and merciful. Trust Him and He will bring you along and show you where you can make changes just like any loving parent would. He doesn’t condemn.

    • Anita,
      Relationships can be so difficult! It is so hard when you think you are responding to a person in a healthy way only for things to blow up. I’m sorry that you are feeling so stuck relationally. One thing I’ve been learning is to seek God in the midst of my conversations with others, especially with people I’ve had a history of having bad conversations with. I ask God, “Please show me how to respond right now and NOT react to what they have said.” You can’t control others, but you can move towards a more Christ like attitude when dealing with others. I highly encourage you to stay in God’s Word diligently to learn more and more what it means to live to honor God relationally and not carry the weight of how others may or may not respond. Perhaps, finding a Godly woman to help mentor you through this or a Christian counselor can also help you gain insight. Stay in it girl! God is cheering you on, wanting you to live in greater relational freedom and less chaos!
      Prayers for you today.

  11. Randi,
    Thanks for your words today, sometimes just recognizing the problem makes one FEEL so much better!

    • Hi Jenn,
      Thanks for your encouraging words!! Just this morning I woke up and found myself stuck again in the comparison trap! I find that this is something I have to continue to turn over to God! I’m so glad I’m not the only one dealing with this.

  12. Oh sweet women of God! We have to remember we are not alone. It is very hurtful for many of us. Just the other day I had what I call a melt down. Cried and cried but then I pictured myself crawling up into the Father’s lap where he told me “My child, I love you” and suddenly I felt a peace that only a child can feel, soothed by a loving hug and kiss from a loving parent. I pray that those who are hurting because of the lack of compassion from a physical sense can crawl up into the lap and arms of the Father and receive the love He has to offer.

  13. Wow…I cannot thank you enough for this post. One, it’s a verse I’m memorizing from 1 Corinthians and just like God to shower me with His truth again and again. Two, it’s a message I needed. I am currently in a “waiting” period and have asked Him to show me what true hope looks like. Thanks…I am going to write down attributes as well so I can focus on those and try not to focus on what I am waiting for.

    • Cathy,
      It is so fun to hear how God met you right where you needed in this post! That just makes me so grateful! Thanks for taking the time to reply!

  14. Wonderful words that my spirit inhaled. Want to exhale here with another great thought the Lord gave me through a Beth Moore radio clip. I must trust Him irregardless of how He resolves the situation troubling me. I usually trust Him to “fix it”. What if His purposes are different than my wishes in this particular instance? Must trust anyway that He is who He says he is. Huge step, especially when made in the midst of some type of pain, which I do presently feel. I want to be FULLY committed to Him, so I will trust according to HIS definition of trust . I am writing this in declaration. I am saving your post. thanx

    • I love it! “Trust Him according to HIS definition of trust!” Perfectly stated Anne! Growing with you!

  15. I could’ve written this: “Without thinking, I naturally compare myself to so many other women.”

    Thank you so much for sharing your heart.

  16. Randi, Your post touched my heart in so many ways. I am somewhat alone, although surrounded by loving relatives. I am elderly, and living in a three story house with my son and daughter, and my son-in-love, none of whom are in good health. I have frequent visitors – my granddaughter, her sons and a great-granddaughter. My life has been full and meaningful. I enjoy being alone, but I am never truly alone. The Father, Son and Holy Spirit are always with me. I study the Word and keep journals of my insights and also keep a gratitude journal. I have so much for which to be thankful. I am thankful to have whatever help the others can afford my son and I, and God has granted me the ability to be of help to them.

    • Gerrie,
      What beautiful thoughts you shared here! You sound like a woman of wisdom and perspective. I’m sure the road has not always been easy. You seem to understand what it means to let go of things that for a while have brought security and peace and exchanged them for the presence of God. We NEED women like you who will share your stories of faith, pain and growth. Thank you for replying Gerrie! God bless!

  17. Randi,

    Fantastic post! While I have a decent job with good pay & benefits, I still feel sort of lost and lonely at work. I find myself in a state of transition–waiting actually. Is this all God has for me? Yes I do compare myself to others and their skills. What keeps me grounded is a thankful journal. For a few years now I have done a daily thankful journal. I begin by writing the many many items I am thankful for and then daily I put down what was good about that day. That helps me keep the day in perspective.

    • Beth,
      It’s wonderful that you have found some spiritual practices that help you return to God when you find yourself “off track”. I sometimes think that loneliness, as much as it hurts, is exactly what God allows to draw us back to Him! He uses it in my life to reveal things about me. Also, I learn in lonely moments that things in this life, even the good things, do not have the sustaining power to keep me peace-filled and living with a sense of purpose and joy. Only God can do this and we are all on the journey towards more of Him in our lives. Right?
      Blessings Beth!

  18. Randi, you touch my soul! Your insight is ageless. It makes me think He has you right where He wants you because so many of us needed to hear Him through you! I wish you Peace and Love through this journey.