Our home internet connection is a fickle and undependable thing. You can only imagine the state of our wifi network. My iPhone needs to update apps at least once a day (yet another sign that I should delete a few, if you ask my husband), which is usually an exercise in frustration.
Crazy as it sounds, God used something as simple as app updates to remind me of a valuable rule of parenting: persistence.
Typically when my apps start to update a message pops up and says Unable to Download Application: Done or Retry? I always hit Done.
If it didn’t work the first time, why would it work the second?
After two weeks trying to update the same app, I finally hit the Retry button. That didn’t work so I hit it again. And again. And again. Until it finished.
You know what? Each time I hit retry, the download didn’t really start over. The status bar jumped to the point it had reached the last time and started from there. Every time it went a little further until finally the download was complete.
This taught me one thing and reminded me of another: I can be more stubborn than my internet connection, and sometimes even if you don’t immediately achieve your desired end result, something is still being accomplished.
See, I’ve been frustrated in the parenting department lately. Are my kids listening to me? Sometimes it feels like I’m talking to the proverbial brick wall.
If you’re a parent, you can probably relate.
The app update lesson made me think of these wise words in Deuteronomy:
Therefore shall ye lay up these my words in your heart and in your soul, and bind them for a sign upon your hand, that they may be as frontlets between your eyes.
And ye shall teach them your children, speaking of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
And thou shalt write them upon the door posts of thine house, and upon thy gates:
That your days may be multiplied, and the days of your children, in the land which the Lord sware unto your fathers to give them, as the days of heaven upon the earth.
If God believed your children were going to absorb all the valuable lessons he wants you to teach them on the first or second try, he wouldn’t tell you to speak of them all the time (when you sit, walk, lie down, and rise up) or to write them upon the door posts and gates of your house.
Your kids may not want to hear you speak the same lessons over and over, but they need you to be consistent. They need to know that absolute truth exists and that you believe in it absolutely.
The world will hand them situational ethics, so you must teach ethics that stand up in hard situations. Be a safe place for them to test ideas and see if they hold water, but don’t be afraid to speak truth.
“Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!” ~Isaiah 5:20
I remember a conversation with my father when I was in my mid-twenties. I told him my position on a political issue, something that I thought sounded good, that I felt I could support. His calm reply spurred me to ask more questions until I realized that I’d accepted face value without researching implications, taken a stand without understanding.
You’re never too old to learn a lesson from your parents.
I remember things I believed as a teen, like “Who cares what anyone else thinks if I know I’m right?” Children can be foolish and stubborn. I was. I bet you were, too.
You aren’t failing if your kids aren’t perfect. Give them the same grace that your heavenly Father gives you. Give yourself some grace, too. Everyone else’s children aren’t perfect, either.
So what’s a weary mom to do? Be persistent and consistent and pray that your children will come to know truth, as you dare to speak it and lay its foundation one day at a time. Hang in there.
Do you feel like you just keep hitting Retry? How can we pray for you in your parenting today?
{Please click over to my blog for a downloadable desktop calendar for July!}
by Dawn Camp, My Home Sweet Home
Leave a Comment
Margaret Polino Nicholas says
I enjoyed this very much. My children are grown, so the control level is gone. I can only pray they heard the word as children, and make good decisions for themselves now.
Dawn Camp says
Margaret, our pastor talked about parenting yesterday: when they get older, it’s more about influence than authority. Don’t doubt the power of your influence. 🙂
Bev Duncan @ Walking Well With God says
My children are 24 and 20. When they were younger they used to jokingly call me “Bible Lady”; not because I hit them over the head with scripture, but because I would quote scripture as it pertained to a certain experience we were dealing with. I’m here to say that God’s word does not return void!!! Keep persisting in speaking God’s truth to your children (even if they stray – and they will). One day they will rise up and call you “blessed”.
Blessings,
Bev
Dawn Camp says
Bev, thank you so much for your comment—what a wonderful testimony!
Andrea says
I enjoyed this so so much! Thank you! A 5am smile is definitely notable for a Monday morning! I think it’s the summer and my children have their ears off. I pray that they actually do hear me. And I pray they feel loved!
Dawn Camp says
“It’s the summer and children have their ears off” – so true! I have big plans for school work we can accomplish, but it’s hard now, isn’t it?
Jen says
Thanks Dawn.
I have already hit the retry button this morning.
I need to give more Grace, receive more Wisdom and forgive myself when
I fall short.
I parent a 22, 20 , and 17 years old.
And I feel the weight daily.
Pray for me to roll the weight onto Him and receive renewed strength for the
journey.
Dawn Camp says
Praying for you, Jen! Those are difficult years, but you can do it. My mom once told me that she heard James Dobson say to just get them through the teen years alive and you’ll like them again on the other side. 🙂 There are some difficult lessons being learned in the late teens and early twenties.
Miriam says
Thanks, Dawn!
It always so good to get that reminder that He is still working on us and our kiddos! As much as it frustrates me to hit it…I really am so glad for the “retry” button!
Dawn Camp says
Miriam, just keep hitting that button!
Sara Ella says
What a great analogy, Dawn. It really encouraged me today. I have been really frustrated in the parenting department lately too. My one year old screams her head off whenever I sit at my computer. My five year old has her areas too, but what your post made me realize is that I can be more persistent than they. If I stay consistent (like putting my youngest in the playpen until she stops screaming) eventually they will learn to change their behavior. It just takes time. Thank you and God bless!
Dawn Camp says
“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” – Proverbs 22:6
Just keep trying and be consistent.
Jen says
Thank you Dawn for the encouragement today. I had started the Focus on the Family Around the World in 60 Days today and was met with a dismal response. “Is this a Christian thing?” They asked. They are 10 and 8 and move a year and a half ago to a new city because their Daddy got a new pastoring post, has made them a little jagged. It’s been tough for them. I needed to hear today to stick to what we believe even when they don’t want to.
Dawn Camp says
Jen, I think we’ve all had those moments when we try to introduce something positive and the kids rebel. It’s just their nature. Show them your commitment to teaching them what’s right, and do it in love.
jeanne says
What a wonderful thing to read this morning ! Dealing w my 17 year old has gotten me very worn down, sad and frustrated lately…….This passage helped me approach today a little calmer and committed to my commitment to him.
Dawn Camp says
Jeanne, if this helped one person (you) approach their day with more calm, it was all worth it. Praying for you today.
Tracy says
Needed this today. Thank you so much.
Dawn Camp says
Tracy, you’re so welcome. Glad it helped.
Wanda says
Oh boy, I love this!
This weekend, my son (23) came home with a VERY FAST & DANGEROUS motorcycle. I thought my world had fallen down around me. I went straight to all the WHAT IF’S. I hate motorcycles! I hate what can happen to a person who’s riding responsibly. Accidents are just that, accidents.
I spent the rest of the weekend wallowing in my own pit of fear. I couldn’t look at anything online that he posted as he reveled in his newfound joy.
I had it bad! Ok?
Today, I blogged about how to cope with decisions that your kids make. I realized I can’t control one minute of my kids lives but I can love them, trust God and be joyful everyday.
Dawn Camp says
Wanda, you’re a smart mom. We’re still learning as much as our kids are. 🙂
Janet Dubac says
Thank you very much for this wonderful post! Your message has really touched me. This is the best advice that I have ever read: “Be persistent and consistent and pray that your children will come to know truth, as you dare to speak it and lay its foundation one day at a time.” Thank you for these beautiful words!
Dawn Camp says
Janet, thank you for *your* words and the dose of encouragement.
Amanda says
I needed this today as a mom of two younger (7,3) I tend feel like I’m repeating myself. Sometimes I’m just done, but that doesn’t teach my children, so I try to walk them through it. THen its such an HUGe thing when they get it and process it. (so like me in my walk) loved this post!
Dawn Camp says
Amanda, I totally get that feeling of just being done. That’s when you need a quiet minute and some prayer time. Your efforts aren’t wasted.
Dennise says
It never ceases to amaze me how God knows just what we need, when we need it. This morning while getting ready for my day, wondering how all the recent events will play out – I really heard the song “Strangley Dim” by Francesca Battistelli for the first time! – IT was like God was saying – “fix your eyes on me” And then I opened my email and read your annointed & very timely post which helped to put things in perspective… that is God’s perspective! Thank you for listening to the Lord and sharing your post. It was water to my very thirsty soul!
BTW I visited your blog too … and read the recent post about the storm; which ministered to me as well since I have been feeling like I have been smack dab in the middle of one … especially with all that is going on in my teen’s life right now… TRUST is the key… and sometimes that TRUST is minute by minute!
I will definitely be subscribing to your posts! Thank you … Bless You!
Dawn Camp says
Dennise, parenting teens can try the best of us. Yes, ma’am, sometimes trust is minute by minute! I’m thankful that God sent you just what you needed today. Saying a prayer for you.
Beth Williams says
Keep quoting scripture to your children. Then live out that scripture. They may not seem to appreciate it now, but later on in life it will come back to you ten fold. They will thank you for it!@
Dawn Camp says
Yes, Beth! Leading by example is more powerful than empty words.
Little Hearts/Gentle Parenting Resources says
I love that you included giving grace and living what we want our children to learn instead of just lecturing them. There is incredible power in listening to our children and interacting with them and allowing them the same imperfections we have rather than expecting them to listen but not be heard, obey without understanding, and behave perfectly despite being imperfect humans being raised by imperfect humans in an imperfect world!
Dawn Camp says
You summarized it perfectly. Extend the same grace we need for living.
veronica says
Oh heavens i thnk God for your question and your post. t great encouragement. I would like for prayer for me and my kids i have a five yr old and two yrl and one yrl old. And im expecting my fourth one. Is not easy being a young parent. Iately i just being feeling very tired in heart with parenting and overwhelming at time. and by his good grace i been doing good. Sisters i ask that you lift me in prayer. thanks God bless you.
Dawn Camp says
Veronica, I’m praying for you tonight! I hope you get some rest and have a good pregnancy and plenty of help taking care of your little ones.
Shelby says
Reading my mail today! I am going through transitions with my oldest (in college) and I don’t want him to make a mistake. He’s doing wonderful but I keep pushing him to do better…please pray for us both as I continue to trust God but also speak truth to him.
Joan says
I am struggling with my 18, 17, and 15 year olds. Spending today trying to figure out how and when and if I can continue pushing. Thanks for the retry button!
Shauna says
I really appreciate the message here. Persistence has never come easily for me; I was a compliant (most of the time) child because my mother was a very strong personality (and still is.) When my kids (now 16 and 20) would say or do certain things, I had 2 responses: clam up or rage. These responses came because I felt like anything I said or did was pointless. My children’s actions often reminded me of kids I didn’t particularly get along with at all. After I thought about it a while, I would manage to use the situation as a teaching point at another time when there was less angst involved. I didn’t want them turning out like those people who gave me bad memories. God blessed me with a husband who truly has partnered with me in parenting our daughters; I really think our daughters have become mature people more because of his influence than mine. The last couple of years were particularly rough but through compassion and prayer progress has been made. We all still have a long ways to go–myself included. So glad to hear from other moms on here who are voicing concerns similar to mine.
MyPeaceOfFood says
Pray for me not to use “the mean voice.” Not that anyone’s ever called it that, but I’m reading Gretchen Rubin’s Happier at Home right now, and she has a “mean face,” and now I’m catching myself when I’m using my snappy voice. A voice I wouldn’t want anyone else using on my kids, so why do I feel comfortable using it myself? Truth is, I don’t, but it’s taken me a LONG time (terrible twos followed by terrible threes) to realize that I don’t like using it. There’s really no power in it. It’s the words and the disappointment in my face that speak volumes, even to such a small child. I don’t want that voice to come out of me any more. I want to be kind but firm. Not reliving the patterns I observed as a child, hearing my own parents’ mean voices.
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