I don’t remember the first time I felt it.
It could have been in the third grade when I was the last one picked for the kickball team or when I met my first mean girl at 12. Or it might have been when I opened my mouth to sing like my musical brother and sister and discovered I was tone deaf.
Not being enough has sort of been a faithful companion in life….always there, reminding me of ways I didn’t fit in or belong. When I didn’t date much in high school or couldn’t get pregnant for the first five years of my marriage, I believed the ever-present words whispered in my ear.
When I walked into a room full of stylish, pretty women, and searched for a familiar face, I knew the words that would pop into my head.
I don’t remember the first time I didn’t measure up.
But I do remember the first time I stopped measuring.
I was a freshman in college, rooming with my twin sister. I called my mom on the phone and when she answered, I said hurriedly , “Mom, did you know I’m petite?”
She laughed at my crazy question and said, “Of course, honey. You’re 5’2. That’s petite by most standards. Why are you asking?”
I replied, “But Mom, I’m the big twin. I had no idea I was petite!”
Years later we still laugh about my epiphany.
But this new realization was remarkable to me. I had spent my entire childhood being compared to my twin sister, who was my opposite in so many ways (not just because she could sing well). We were born five minutes apart and I towered over her 4’10” frame. I was shocked when someone referred to me as petite.
But that’s because I was measuring myself by the wrong perspective.
And that’s what comparison does: it skews our view of ourselves and we begin to believe the lie–
The one that says we aren’t
And honestly, maybe we aren’t by the world’s measurements. We truly can never be all those things and certainly not at the same time. But that’s okay.
“Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think any thing as of ourselves; but our sufficiency is of God.” 2 Corinthians 3:5
We don’t have to be enough. Because He is. All the time. And even better, through Him–we are enough, just like we are. He makes up for what we lack. He takes our inadequacies and unrighteousness and trades it in for His perfection.
When we can’t, He can. When we don’t, He does. When we don’t measure up, He does.
And this is enough for all of us.
Written by Kristen Welch, We are THAT family