When we put a copy of Speak Love in the hands of a teen girl, we are asking her to change what she says to others, what she says to God, and how she speaks even to herself.

If we’re going to get rid of the mean girl, if we are going to see the next generation of women use their words to bring life and light into our world and truly change our culture, we have to change too.

Ugh. I know.

Last weekend at church, my pastor stopped me with a sly smile on his face. “Hey Annie,” he said laughing, “I can’t wait to see what the next six months looks like for you. It’s gonna be soooo rough.” And he just kept laughing. I, on the other hand, was like, “Uh, Pete? What are you talking about?”

“You released a book called Speak Love. You’re gonna have to watch every word you say. You’re not going to get away with anything.”

And then he laughed again (ruuuude). But no kidding, EIGHT minutes before this conversation, in that very same church lobby, I had apologized to a friend for venting on her about someone else, realizing that I was in the wrong with my words.

So yeah, he’s right.

I believe in grace, that we can make mistakes and be human, but I also believe that when the Bible says that older women should mentor the younger, that includes our words. And that includes me. And you.

If we want to see the mean girl leave our culture, we have to quit inviting her mentality into our secret Facebook groups.

If we want teen girls to speak life to each other, we should speak kindly in front of them about the other women at the swimming pool.

If we want to see them pray, we need to teach them to pray.

If we want our daughters to speak kindly about themselves, then we have to speak kindly about our bodies as well.

She hears you.

I know you want the same thing I do – you want to see the mean girl gone. You have the memories of how she hurt you in middle school or how you were mean to someone else. We all do. But now I’m spending my days and prayers asking God to raise up an army of young women who will stand up and use their words to pour light all over our world. But we need you, too. They can’t do it alone.

They can’t do it if they can’t hear you cheering for them, reminding them that God is stronger than culture and stronger than the temptation to be unkind. They can’t be an army if they don’t have any generals leading them.

Maybe it starts by simply sending her an e-card? Or a quick text? Or taking her to coffee and encouraging her for a while?

See, every time you encourage her to speak life, every time you push her to be brave with her words, it changes things.

Because when you tell her she can do it, that she can change culture with her words, she hears you.

And she believes you.

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