I felt so fragile sitting in the parking lot of Target, too sad to stop crying. And though my hand held a list of things that really couldn’t be put off another day, I was now entirely too tired to run errands or do much of anything. So there I sat. Alone.
Moments earlier, a friend had called to tell me something she’d seen posted about me online.
It was harsh and hurtful.
I tried to give myself a little pep talk, “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” Who on God’s green earth came up with that ridiculous mantra? It’s not true. I cried a little more.
I pulled up the social media page my friend alerted me about, and there it was for all the world to see: Opinions about me flying through the Internet, intent on ripping me apart. As soon as I read the unkind words, daggers hit their mark deep inside my heart.
Others debated me as if I were a product sitting on a shelf, void of a soul. A soul that feels and breathes and cares so very deeply about everything.
Instantly, I wanted it all to stop.
I looked up and saw people walking into Target and felt so very envious of them. They seemed peaceful, happy, or at least neutral. I suddenly wished for a less risky life.
Why do I display my heart to all the world typed up in pixelated letters?
Words like, “calling” and “disciple” suddenly felt like burdens not blessings.
I looked back at my phone and reread the hurtful remarks posted on line. What’s a girl to do when she’s feeling desperate to fix something that can’t be immediately fixed?
Should I defend myself?
But I don’t want to sound defensive.
Should I pray for others to defend me?
But I don’t want to pull others into this.
Should I just stay quiet?
But then what if my silence just feeds their case?
Every response felt like the wrong response.
What do you do when you don’t know what to do?
Maybe you’ve sat in a Target parking lot crying too. The circumstances might have been different, but the hurt is the same … that sliced-open feeling of being judged, misunderstood, and wrongly exposed for the purpose of a good debate.
What do you do when you don’t know what to do?
I wish I had the perfect answer. I don’t. These kinds of situations are messy and complicated, and unable to fit in formulaic boxes.
However, I have an imperfect solution that will at least get our toes pointed in the right direction for what to do when you don’t know what to do…
Do the next small thing, the right way, right away.
In other words, find some small right thing to do that negates the negativity. Do that right thing, right away, to prove to yourself what’s being said isn’t ALL true.
There may be some small tangles of truth in the hurtful thing being said. We can pray about that and do something about that later when the hurt isn’t so fresh.
But first things first. We have to stop the bleeding from the deepest wound.
Do the next small thing, the right way, right away.
The small thing I decided to do was see their comments coming from a place of hurt, not hate. Hurt people hurt people. Something must have happened that caused hurt to stir up in their hearts. Maybe I even inadvertently added to their hurt without meaning to. Regardless, having compassion for their hurt, eased the pain of my own.
I called my friend who’d been the first to see the hurtful comments and I told her, I don’t know what to do except be a picture of love in this situation. If I respond out of hurt, things will only get worse. So, I must let love guide me.
Love can empower me to feel hurt without becoming a person consumed by that hurt…
I can feel offended but I don’t have to be offended.
I can feel insecure but I don’t have to act insecure.
I can feel angry but I don’t have to respond angry.
That’s the choice love makes.
And please understand I’m not all Pollyanna about this and able to walk it out perfectly.
I have to give myself permission to be honest about my feelings. But I don’t have to compound the hurt by reacting out of those feelings.
I never did make it into Target that day. And there are still days I feel so very fragile and vulnerable as I put my heart out on the Internet. Maybe you do too?
Let’s let love take us by the hand and empower us in each and every situation where we don’t know what to do.
We can feel afraid but we don’t have to be afraid to do the right thing, right away.
For more encouragement, connect with Lysa at her blog by clicking here.
Leave a Comment
Thank you for being you.
Definitely thank you! We need more REAL people in the ministry. Being a Christian (& a women) is not easy and just because we are Christians does NOT mean we are perfect. I kill myself with the perfection complex. It is so nice to see another woman struggle and be honest about it!
God bless you!
I agree completely with Gemma. The Lord is using you, Lysa, for His glory. I thank Him for you. Proverbs 31 is a tremendous blessing to many sisters.
Thank you for sharing from your heart being open and honest. I love your devotions and stories they always seem to touch on something that I need for that day. God is working through you to really help and encourage us. Don’t stop being who he made you to be. Thank you!
I needed this today. What do you do when your church family hurts you? The church is filled with imperfect people, hurting people. It’s hard to recover from that. The way is, to do the right thing, right away. Turn to God.
This is exactly what I am going through right now. The timing is perfect for me to see this post. I am trying to trust God in this but admit to being afraid of the storm that is hanging over me due to hateful gossip and afraid of what I may lose by the time this is over. The betrayal of the initial gossiper is stunning. You’re right–it is hard to recover from a church that hurts you, especially when it is led by a family member.
Thank you! I really needed to hear this today.
Thank you so much for your transparency , your honesty and most of all your devotions they are inspiring to me over here in Philadelphia Pa. So stay encouraged
Lysa,
You are a blessing to us all! Never forget that.
Glenda
Thank you beautiful friend…
I’m so late coming over to chat, but truly we are all in this together. We need each other’s love so very much. Thank you all for popping over and encouraging me and one another.
The enemy trying to tear everything down. I love your messages!!
Dear Lysa, After a difficult conversation with my mom who is 3300 miles away from me, and many fail attempts to reach out and encourage and help however I can I was left with the question in my heart to the Lord, “What now?” I want to do what is right and what honors both Him and her. Holy Spirit led. I don’t do this perfect, and with a family that thinks I am way to into Jesus to begin with it is that much harder. I pray that I remain tender to the Lord Jesus and his Holy Spirit. That his love is seen and experienced through me. Thank you 🙂 This was perfect
Lysa, don ‘t know if you read your comments or not, but PRESS ON my friend. Love, to catch up one day. I have found that the enemy seems to be working over time. WE MUST STAND STRONG and FIGHT. God is using you in a BIG way. Press on!!!!!!!!!!!! One step at a time. Kathleen Hardaway
Thank you, needed this!!
It is in such times that the Lord does His deepest work in us. Persevere and continue to run the race marked out for you. You are serving the Lord and with that comes fiery trials but His grace is sufficient to get you through, this will come to pass, continue to look to Him.
Amen!
Thank you Tanaka and Loretta!
Thank you Lysa for your real stories. They touch my heart. I can relate to them. And thank you to Tanaka… a great reminder for us all.
These are very wise words. Your experiences speak to me as well as so many others. Try and focus on the women you are helping and not on the ones that want to tear you down. We can pray that someday their eyes and ears will be open and your vulnerability with speak to their heart.
Good words Sue! Thank you.
Your honesty brings such encouragement & hope and always right on time! Thank you for being so open and honest! You touch so many lives…much more than you could ever know!!!
Thank you Suzie. Sweet reminder:)
“The present circumstance which presses so hard against you (if surrendered to Christ) is the best shaped tool in the Father’s hand to chisel you for eternity. Trust Him then. Do not push away the instrument, lest you lose also its work.”
Anyone know whose quote this is?
Elizabeth, it’s from Charles Cowman’s “Streams in the Desert”. Beautiful quote.
Sorry, it was his wife L.B. Cowman, so says Amazon 🙂
It is his wife, I have used this devotion for a number of years.
Lysa you are a true child of God!! He has got your back and what is most important one day His Holy Spirit will touch the hearts and minds of those and they will see Jesus in you and hopefully by the Grace of God that would draw them closer and closer to Him. Romans 8 v 28. Love you. God bless you. Very true “hurt people hurt people”. But like you said Love conquers.
Thank you Angela… truth!
Your heart for God and willingness to openly share with others has led so many to freedom and a closer relationship with God!! God is so happy with you. He loves you and He is so glad that you are fulfilling His purpose for your life through your willingness. I am so sorry to hear that a few people are being negative and critical of you…. But please know that there are so many more who are very thankful for you and the ministry God is doing through you. Blessings to you! You are loved and appreciated!
Thank you Danise… we all need friends like you to whisper reminders of truth in our direction. Love to you!
Thank You So Much, Lysa, for your words of wisdom and encouragement. I am currently going through a situation similar to the one you described. This message is VERY timely. I also appreciate the message you brought forth (our choice of reactions during times of conflict) last Monday, 6/2/2014 at Champion’s Center in Tacoma and Bellevue, WA. This post and last week’s message are helping me to keep things in perspective. May God continue to bless you as you serve Him.
So good to hear of your progress LD… touched by your sweet encouragement.
Oh how my heart aches for you Lysa. I am very thankful for you and the fact that you share these experiences that so many of us can relate to. We may not be in a spotlight at the moment, but I know so .many others,including myself who have had mean and nasty things said about us that we don’t know how to handle. Thanks for the encouragement. Will be praying for healing….
So many of us know this hurt… deeply and personally. Praying my words comfort and connect in helpful ways. Love to you Isa.
I can’t even imagine anyone ever saying anything negative about you Lysa. I just can’t.
Eyes on Him, my friend. There is purpose in everything, and God will and has already- worked all things to the good. I mean, look how many hearts you will impact just sharing this here? And how you so beautifully mapped out a way to react to being hurt, offended and vulnerable. Those are the worst feelings I have ever experienced. They are harder to navigate and endure more than anything here on this earth- at least I think so.
I always pray for God to take it completely into His Hands. I surrender over and over and over again… and then pray for guidance on my part in it all. I love how you handled your fragile broken heart. And I KNOW we are all blessed because you shared it with us.
Hurt people- hurt people. One of the greatest truths around. Behind all anger is pain. I will pray for GOD to transform their hearts. Hard hearts need God. The end. And I also know that often the very act of offense/hurt/attack- in the end? Has NOTHING to do with the person offended/hurt/attacked. Show them who God is, Lysa. Think of our God, who was beaten and crucified- and said “They know not what they are doing”. Separate yourself in that way… and perhaps the burden will feel lighter on your heart.
And you? Just try to begin to count the people whose lives you have influenced for God’s purpose. just try. Go on…
Keep counting.
And counting.
And counting….
Beautiful words Chris Carter….DITTO Keep on keeping on Lysa I LOVE your POSTS and u have brought GOD back to my life each and everyday…..
Thank you Chris… you have a lovely way with words!
And thank you Dena… I’m going to rub your sweet encouragement deep into my heart. Love to you both.
Thank you Lysa for showing us your deepest thoughts and emotions to share that we all have those same experiences no matter how famous or common we are. Some people must tear down or expose others in order to feel superior. No person who is trying to act in a godly way would say mean spirited things about someone – especially in such a public forum. They are rude insensitive bullies and should be treated as such. Even if parts of what they said might be true (and I gave no idea of what was said) they are NOT people to be trusted or held in high esteem.
Thank you for commenting Denny. I think they are just hurt and speaking from a place of hurt. But what a good reminder for me to check and double check all posted words to make sure I don’t take my hurt and spread it. Whew… life can be tough sometimes.
Thank you Lysa! I cannot express how much I truly appreciate who you are in Christ and all the life lessons I have learned from you! You have shown me and countless others around the world, that just as the scripture says in 2 Corinthians 12:10 New International Version (NIV)
10. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties, For when I am weak, then I am strong.
I am going through a time in my life where it feels as though it is just me and Jesus. I have had a group of friends walk out of my life. One friendship had lasted over 30 years. Recently, My pastor chose to resign from my church, and plans on starting a new journey with The Lord. He has been a dear friend for the last ten years and his leaving will cause yet another HUGE void in my life. I’m feeling as though there is no one left who knows the “me” that Jesus has helped me to be, while also knows my past and what all I have been through in life. I pray everyday to be at peace with all the changes, but it remains very hard and incredibly painful. I thank you again for always being willing to show your vulnerabilities, and in doing so, giving the rest of us the strength to show our own while leaning into Christ’s full embrace. God Bless and I pray we all have more “Target” moments that teach us to turn to Jesus and His Love for us all.
Leaning into Christ’s full embrace with you dear Michelle… I so love how you phrased that. Praying with you.
Having the courage to love in the face of a fearful hurt person that wants company is exactly what Jesus tells us to do. 77×7. Most do not have the courage to feel the pain and hurt and to love them anyway – not condone what they have done as it is wrong – but love them anyway. AND as our dear savior tells us it pours hot coals on their heads 🙂
Yes, Shannon… courage! Oh how I long to live out these Biblical principles with kind courage. And your last sentence made me giggle. Love to you…
Your message definitely touched me. I also sat in a Target parking lot and cried. I was hurt by dear friends and they had not meant to hurt me. In that case a letter from the heart brought healing and understanding. But tonight my husband told me how he has been offended. How I hope he will do the right thing. For the record, I agree with the others. I just don’t know how people could find bad things to say about you!
Sweet Susan…. thank you for your kind words. Just remember you aren’t alone as you sit in the Target parking lot. And if you look over and see me, let’s each smile and remind one another of all that’s being talked about here today. Deal?
Thank you for being a beautiful everyday woman, whose beauty is allowing God to use you – messes and all, right where you are at, at any time or place in your life. Thank you for showing women around the world how their messes can be turned into Glorious Jesus Messages, through sharing with us your life experiences. Thank you also, for the Jesus Joy I and countless other women receive through the Proverbs 31 Testimonies and teachings we receive every day. You truly are a very special Jesus’ Princess. Much Agape love to you, Sister in Christ. 🙂 Liz from Australia.
Thank you Liz… From Australia? How cool is that! One day I hope to make it to your beautiful land.
You know who you are in Christ. Don’t read the hurtful words again but let God handle it. He is all you need and He is more than able to deal with this situation. Let it go and let God. When you minister as you do, satan can’t stand it so he looks for areas to hurt you. Remind him that he is under your foot. Put on some praise music and sing! Remember you are a victor not a victim. God bless you.
Kathy
Preach it dear Kathy! Your write truth beautifully and tenderly… thank you.
Thank you Lysa for sharing this with us, you are such a blessing to me and I love your blogs, it is helping me to overcome so many things and I can only say as you did, it must be people who are hurting so much who targets you to feel relief from their own hurts, otherwise I really do not know why. Thank God you handle it so well, though I know it must be very hurtful and the flesh would love to give them what they deserve, but you let the Holy Spirit speak through you and speak healing words and not harsh words. I love you dear friend and pray that God will use you mightily in this confused and hurting world to comfort and lead others to God. You are very special, don’t let the devil ever get his way to try and quiet you from speaking from your heart to us. God bless you <3
What a sweet gift of kindness you are today, Lorraine… thank you.
Lysa, God will provide the Fire as You provide the sacrifice. He will fill you up with more of Him. Cling to Him. He will heal this tattered moment. He is your All in All. Keep blessing others with the Gift that God has placed in you. Only God sees the fruits of your labor. One day He will show them to you. Let Him take care of the opposition.
So true Sandy… clinging to Him indeed. Thank you.
I quickly clicked on this because I too felt like this last yesterday and last night. When I realized it was the enemy creeping into my fragile spirit I quickly prayed and rebuked him. I felt the hold he was getting on my mood and mind. I let simple words, that were meant in play, become hurtful to me. My mood took over and it put me in a dark place. The Lord has given me a new day and I will be more alert towards the one who wants to ruin our day and stay in tune with Him today. Thank you for being normal and sharing that with us.
Thank you Georgia… so proud of you for praying and rebuking quickly. I need to get better at doing that right away. Love to you friend!
I don’t know that we will ever meet or if I will ever see you in person but I love you. Every time we are used by God the enemy will try to find a way to stop us and I have found my emotions are the biggest area I need to work to control because that is where he gets his foothold with me. Everything you write and all the words you speak are such an inspiration to me. My big challenges in my walk with God have been much like yours, self control when it comes to what I eat and what I say. 🙂 Unglued and Made to Crave have been so helpful. I started out this year doing the Made to Crave Bible study online with all of you and it truly helped me change. I have finally been given a full understanding that Jesus is all I truly need and that food is only food. I have lost 21 of 30 pounds that I needed to lose. Be encouraged that you are a shining star for God and your willingness to serve him is giving so many others a closer look at His love for them.
Wow… 21 pounds lost is a huge accomplishment, Jenny. And I sure hope we do get to meet one day. Thank you for taking time to write this encouragement to me today. What a gift!
Thank you for sharing this with us. It is wonderful for me to know other people struggle with this. You are a blessing to all of us.
God knows all and He will fight our battles for us, all we have to do is ask. Thanks you for sharing this with me today Lysa. it’s as surly encourage me to keep on doing and going. Seek God in all you do and He will fight with you and for you. Your Joy and peace is in the Lord.
Peace to you.
Thank you for being honest. I struggle with the same stuff and your words help me to look at what I am going through and instil Love into it. Thank you!!
Thank you for this post. Like all the other posts of yours that I read it always seems to address an immediate situation I am in. Hurt people hurt people. I am going to tell my kids this. And they know it’s true because when they’re hurt the natural response is to lash out and hurt someone.
Furthermore for myself I agree with Jenny’s post above. Emotions are the biggest area I need to work on. The enemy creeps in here where I’m weakest. Here is where he can do the most damage to my ministry. Thank you Lysa for you always encouraging words. I met you at mops convention and I know go was speaking through you to me then as well. Thanks for opening yourself up to the holy spirits leading.
You are such a blessing to me and to so many women! I thank God for you and for your faithfulness. My prayers go out to you in this situation. For strength, encouragement and peace.
First, thank you for sharing your heart so honestly….you encourage me to be brave to step out and be vulnerable. Again to put on fresh love… I know the cost only too well myself. To be misunderstood or unseen or devalued while loving open heartedly….your words rang so true. Do the next small thing the right way, right away. Thats going to be my prayer lighting my path today. LORD help me to do that so I can get unstuck from these sticky hurts & please heal Lysas heart as well as mine & these other precious hearts here as well.
I have been in a similar situation. I tried to respond in love because I knew there was a lot of hurt. It took six months but that person apologized to me. Our relationship is still not quite back on track but the healing is there. I have found that the closer we draw to God, the more Satan will try to send this kind of ugliness our way.
Thank you for those words. I am a first grade teacher and have had an extremely challenging student this year with a difficult family to work with. Yesterday was the last day of school, and I found out in the afternoon that they are claiming I discriminated against him and that suuposedly they took some secret videotapes of me and are taking them to the superintendent and one of the local TV stations.
I don’t know what the next step is for me other than to pray and trust that God will protect me from this family.
Isn’t there a Starbucks in every Target? Next time just pray for strength to make it into Starbucks. One sip, multiple calories later & I forget what was bothering me. Actually, on a normal day, I’m more consumed with the calories I just consumed than the reason I decided to consume them. I’m positive my amazing God created Starbucks for more reasons than just good coffee!
By the way, love your blog, books & especially your Mom stuff! It’s real stuff & while I enjoy a deep, moving, packed full of bible verses kind of devotional, I also appreciate a writer I can identify with that makes me feel like my life is somewhat normal.
Happy Tuesday! Starbucks anyone?!? 🙂
Dear Lysa, I’ve been subscribing to “Encouragement for Today” about five years now. Thank you for all of your honest posts and for Proverbs 31 Ministries! I’ve grown to know you like a sister, actually closer than my sister. Please know that your words have brought encouragement, peace and love to me many times. And remember that we will have trouble in this world, but He came to overcome this world. I can’t tell you how many times I wished I could go to Target with YOU to talk and shop and laugh together! Hang in there, my friend. 🙂
Dear Lysa….
How my heart aches for you. Thank you for your books and your blogs and for being so transparent and real. Your words have helped me in a multitude of ways…..too numerous to count. You are right about hurt people lashing out to hurt back. As a pastors wife I have been in your situation multiple times over the past 30 plus years, yet God has used those moments to refine me as well. As I go to God with those deep hurts, I remind myself that those doing the hurtful words or actions will answer to God so I don’t have to seek revenge. BUT, I also remind myself that I too, will answer for my thoughts, words and actions. I love how you evaluate if there is first any truth in the difficult words and accusations and then if there are, you ask God to correct that area in your life…..so so true. Hang in there, you are being used mightily by God….just stay close to Him…The lover of your soul…..don’t get derailed by any attacks of the evil one. None of us are perfect, but I truly can’t imagine why people would say anything negative about you. You are and will continue to be a huge blessing for both Christ followers and not- yet- Christ followers. Praying that God gives you much encouragement today and in the days to come. Blessings, dear sister in Christ…….Sue
Thank you Lysa for being so vulnerable. I have read Made to Crave, Am I Messing Up My Kids?, and Capture His Heart. I have felt God speaking to me through the words you have humbly wrote in each book. Thank you for helping me through my life. I am growing spiritually and you are having a big part in that. Thank you for your testimony of God’s grace. And I will be praying for you, for blessings on you and your family.
Lysa,
Anyone who puts their heart on the line in writing is subject to someone saying something cruel. It is true the hurt people, hurt people. For the one who hurled insults there are 99 others with whom your words resonate. God knows your heart and truly loves you for what you do in putting yourself out there for Him and His Kingdom. Press on…
Blessings,
Bev
I have been working in a shelter for Domestic Violent/Human Traffiking victims for a little over a year. Yes! Hurt people hurt people-I see it everyday. Thank you for these words today that will help me when situations arise between our guests. God bless you!
Lysa, don’t hide your light under a bushel! Thank you for being courageous — sharing your thoughts and struggles. God is working through you in mighty ways! Be “incouraged”…”Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10.
I just wanted to say thank you for being authentic. Your words are inspiring to me and are helpful to most. If people were honest, they would say we’ve all been hurt by words. Words are things that leave a mark that doesn’t just go away. Be the best you and remember so many if us out here appreciate your gift of encouragement.
I’ve discovered that some of the most judgmental and harshly critical people call themselves “Christians.” They attend houses.of worship called “Grace” and lead Bible studies about loving their neighbor, and they know nothing of God’s grace.
It is my one desire to be completely devoid of judging and to truly extend grace to others, especially those who have chosen to be my enemy.
Thank you for these encouraging words. I appreciate honesty more than anything else. You have a hard calling. But then, we all do. 😉
You have touched me in so many ways since I first heard you speak at wof! I feel like every email you send is what I needed to hear because it’s my life at that very moment
“lord forgive them for they know not what they do.” you just keep doing what you do please..
Blessings and love to you, Lysa. Thank you for always being willing to be vulnerable. It occurs to me, that we often are quicker to find fault than to speak about how a person has been a blessing. I struggle with the negativity that permeates our society. It is so sad to me how women can so easily seek to tear each other down with hurtful words.
Please know that your writing from the heart has served to keep me pointed towards TRUTH, has helped me to surrender areas of hurt and need to God more readily, and to seek Him on a more regular basis. It sometimes seems easier to look inward and give in to the hurt, than to look at Him and ask, “what do I do with THIS?” I truly think that focusing on the hurt is just an old habit, and becomes an excuse to stay “stuck”, unless we are willing to hear truth and press forward in HIM. Your words have helped me in this process many, many, many times. Thank you.
Love and hugs
Wow, girl I know that the uplifting, kind words that I have just read have had to put a smile on your face. I am not very good at putting my thoughts and feelings into words, so I will just say that I too know that words can hurt and sometimes it may have been easier to be hit with sticks and stones, but you my friend are handling it in a way that would be pleasing to God:) This is just another example of why you are one of my favorite writers, because I can relate to you and can see myself sitting and having that cup of coffee with you (except I don’t do coffee).
Lysa-
Oh how I know that pain, how it shreds your soul with voices of the enemy- voices we were never made to listen to. You want to scream for it all to stop, but can I share something, sister? Something that has helped to heal my shredded soul, too?
Christ opened not His mouth.
He understands the word war you’re faced with. He was slandered and accused and reduced. You have a strong tower to run to, and the same Heavenly Father that fought on Christ’s behalf is the same Heavenly Father that will fight on your behalf too.
Take heart, sister- He has overcome the world.
Lysa, thanks for sharing with us and encouraging us at the same time. After reading your devotion for today I went on to read a few other devotionals for today. As God would have it, Pastor Charles Stanley’s devotional for today was from Nehemiah 4:1-20. The scripture was so timely (as only God could do) for anyone who feels as if they don’t know what yo do. I was blessed as I studied it and am sure you and others will be too! I do hope you’ll read it and be further encouraged to keep doing what you’re doing!
Cheryl
Thank you for how you minister to women everywhere! Of all the devotionals I get, yours always hits home and feels REAL to me. I appreciate your vulnerability to Christ and to everyone who reads your words. You make a REAL difference, and I’m thankful for you. God bless you!! 🙂
Lysa, Thank you for who you are! I have so appreciated that you are a ‘real’ person, not afraid to expose your thoughts and feelings- but always pointing yourself and others to the ONE who is our Guide, Savior, Healer, Comforter, KIng….. The ONE with the answers for how to take that next small step. I have had a similar situation the last few months, and lessons I learned from the “Say Yes to God” Bible study helped me stay focused on seeking God’s counsel and courage in taking the next small step… and choosing to love- and pray for those who hurt me. It’s been a painful process, and I still am seeking God’s wisdom on how to keep going- trying to make the next right move…. I no longer am waiting for apologies or truth- but am beginning to be at peace in letting it go- in God’s capable hands.
Lysa,
Thank you for what you do. You, through your books and devotions, have changed my life. You taught me how to steer my craving towards Christ, at a time when I was suffering with bullemia. You taught me how to direct my many, many emotions towards something positive through your Unglued book. You truly changed my life through your What Happens When women say Yes to God book. I grew up as a Christian, but never truly knew how to listen, communicate, and pray until I dove in, head first, into that book. Your Facebook posts are always so encouraging. You are truly an inspiration to me. And, if nothing else, you taught me how to truly be a Jesus Girl. Thank you for that.
Thank you, Lysa, for putting your heart out there. You are an encourager and your words matter to so many.
Elizabeth Holt – I had that quote on my wall for years! Mrs. Charles Cowman wrote it. 🙂
I’ll beat them up for you 🙂 thank you for again reminding me that it is okay to get angry. So many “church” people act like they have it all together all the time and the rest of us who don’t, feel even worse when things hurt our feelings. So, you are awesome…thanks for being real!
This may be your best writing yet! Out of your deepest pain you have shared a painful hurt that we all can relate to. Your pain allows us to face our pains and hurts – which allows God to begin to do his “spiritual surgery” on our lives. Thank you for being you and sharing that with us.
Oh, how I admire your ability to share this and to be so transparent. I have been through a similar situation where I got negative comments when I just knew that the positive would outweigh the negative. Yet, it is a lot like my daily life. I am quick to let people know when I have had a bad experience, but not quite as diligent to always comment on good experiences. (Especially on blogs like yours, I always think, well, they know how awesome they are, and they really are too busy to even look at the comments, so mine won’t be missed.) But, even knowing that, why do I have to react knowing that God is on my side? And, that is where you come in. You provide me and so many others with a forum to know that we aren’t struggling alone. This will definitely make the next time, a bit easier to recall to do the right thing right away.
Thank you, Lysa!
Lysa, thank you for once again sharing your heart. The enemy knows just where to aim those flaming arrows, doesn’t he? Take some comfort in knowing you are in good company…all those prophets of God in the Bible and all the negative things said and done against them. But what a great message you have given us here. Hurt doesn’t have to cause more hurt. It’s a choice. We can choose to respond with grace flowing from a heart of love, only from the grace we have received. Blessings to you, sweet sister. You have been and are a blessing in my life.
focus on how many people you HAVE helped. You are never going to please everyone in this world, but as long as you are doing the best you can, that is all God asks of us. We are here to please God, not man. You are a beautiful person, who has personally helped me in many ways. There are so many people out there you have helped that you don’t even know about. I know it hurts, I have been there. God always provides. Don’t let Satan get a strong-hold over you. Satan is always trying to bring us down, but I know that God is working in your life and He is the one who gives us the strength to stand up to adversity.
Lysa- I think I was shocked reading this. Who could say something bad or hurtful about you? You have been an absolute blessing in my life. A lot of days your posts and encouremant gave me exactly what I needed to get through the day. You are an amazing woman, someone I really look up to. Keep on keeping on! Let me know if theres anything I can do!
OK, so far today I’m the only “dude” out in blogger land that admits he reads his wife’s Prov. 31 posts. Yes it’s geared for women but many of the posts hit us guys too. Today being one of them. Thank you Lysa for the writing you do to encourage not only my wife but myself also. I put myself out there too with my blog and yes sometimes hurting people hurt other people. Fortunately we have The Lord and His Word to fall back on when things get tough or people get mean. As a couple of the comments said, keep praying for these people who are hurting you since we don’t know the circumstances from which they’re coming and just try counting the positive influences you’ve had on countless thousands (millions?).
Beautiful! thank you sir. 🙂
“my daughter, I have heard your cries, and I have delivered you from all your fears. I have established my dwelling place within your life, and my love has been perfected in you. Abide in me, and I will abide in you, just as my Holy Spirit abides in you. I am love, and she who abides in love abides in Me. There is no fear in love, but perfect love cast out fear. Remember that I have not given you a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind”- psalm 34:4;1 John 4:15-18;2 Timothy 1:7
Thank you for laying your heart out in all that you do, and for choosing to love. Because your vulnerability encourages me to also be vulnerable to love and be loved.
Wow. Did your post ever hit home with me. About a year ago I dealt with something similar. Immediately I wanted to react, but I didn’t. The hurt truly overwhelmed me and sometimes still creeps up inside of me. Your words this morning have given me perspective. Your words of encouragement show me God is working through you.
Oh boy…hits home! I am faced with a vital person in my family who occasionally gets offended or offends..thank you Lysa for explaining so well the feelings that so often follow an “incident”. I love how you put it ” you can feel offended, but not act on it”. I have always strived to put Love first…but now you have given me a “fresh vision” of how Jesus…who is Love..would want it to be! Thank you Miss Lysa, may God continue to give you His purpose for you!
The TRUTH of the matter is that through sharing your stories, your weaknesses and imperfections, you are connecting with me and with so many other real women who need encouragement in the darkest part of our days. Women who feel so very alone before reading your blog and the comments that follow. Women who are being drug down by their own weaknesses and imperfections and need your encouragement. Your light of truth in the darkness of this world. There is so much hate and anger and hurt out there but your light of truth shines and I am so very thankful!
Lysa,
Thank you for always keeping it real. I come from the same place. I hate living on denial street! I feel those feelings I dont suppress them and I try not to act on them except..when I am in the presence of the Lord. I needed to hear this. I learned my son was dating a young lady that has been disrespectful toward me for years because her mother didn’t like me. I am the leader of a bible study. People ask me questions and I lovingly tell them what yhe Holy Spirit tells me (most of the time). When my son told me I could hear the ugly words this young lady spewed at me as a teenager while her mother looked on with a smile. I said nothing. When my son told me I began to pray Lord please get him out of my room so I can pray. My son kept saying you aren’t saying anything. I smiled and said no let me process this and when he left I laid out on the floor crying til not one tear was left. I began to fast and pray for myself and then for my sons eyes to be opened. The pain was overwhelming. But our God was with me every time I cried Lord help me! Lysa thank you for being who you really are! It frees others to be who they really are.
Thank you so much for sharing your heart and keeping it real! ~hugs~ I have learned that since I have been on this journey of getting closer to God and posting those joys and sorrows that I have lost many followers, but I am ok with that right now because I feel this is what I need to do and my blog has been changing. I am learning to mix my faith with my day to day love of decorating, DIYing and just sharing my life. Inspiration like your post here is what keeps me moving forward and I want to THANK YOU for that. ~hugs~
So blessed to wake up to coffee and praise from sisters in Christ who are stepping up to offer words of encouragement, prayer and laughter…all are good medicine!
Lord, You are our portion, You are our cup of blessing – You hold our future! The boundary lines have fallen to us in pleasant places – behold we have a beautiful inheritance!
May each of you have a day filled with Him!
Lisa – I thank the Lord for you because you’re so transparent in sharing your heart. When I’m hurting – beating myself up about something I did, said or should done or said – it’s so refreshing to that I’m not the only one going through these challenges. Your blog helps to connect me with women (thank you Lisa for leading the charge) who experience these same issues and yet share how they overcome them on a day to day basis.
There will always be people who find fault for one reason or another. But you are right, hurting being do and say hurtful things. And while there may be a grain of truth in some of what they say – we must continue allow love to be our defense weapon.
Thank you for being YOU. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your experiences and lessons with us. I can’t count the number of times that your devos (on your site and Proverbs 31) helped this confused girl. You sharing your life with me has helped ME many times. This was an attempt by Satan to hinder you, to stop you from doing what you do. Why? Because of your impact, of course. You have sent thousands of women on the path to healing, and Satan knows your gifts are powerful in the Lord’s kingdom. You keep doing your thing and move forward!!! The Lord will use even THIS for His glory. Amen
Lysa, first of all, thank you for being honest and real to the world. I’m grateful for women like you who put their hearts on display so that others can hear your testimony.
Let’s just say, I haven’t cried in Target’s parking lot, but there have been other parking lot blubberings – mostly at work. I’ve been in a similar situation through work that has lingered now for four years, and I don’t know exactly what was said or why. There are ugly non-truths flying around about me and some that may have some truth to them. Put it all together, and it’s one big blackball of hurt. It’s been hard. It’s been lonely…humiliating…hurtful…like a surgeon’s knife cutting away flesh. God has been using my situation to cut away my own cancerous, prideful flesh that has gotten in the way of His best for me. He is taking this hurtful situation and bringing about healing. He’s using it all for my good and His good, which is always to further His kingdom here on earth. Lying on the table during spiritual surgery is difficult, and the spiritual rehab after is often long, can be grueling, and quite often evokes frustration. Thank the Lord He specializes in free post-op counseling through His Holy Spirit. Hearing of other’s experiences helps all the more.
Again, thank you, Lysa, for being real. The world needs to hear it. Your ministry has blessed me tremendously!!!!
Lysa~ You are so brave and so amazing sharing yourself the way you do! You are definitely an example, at least to me, of how to share my amazingly blessed life with others; even if not in such a public way as you. Thank you and bless you!
In the Bible over and over, we are told we will face trials, tribulations, persecutions, etc. to count it all joy– that is the hard part we are told to do with and through those events.. Why? We are told it will develop perseverence in us. So Lysa, keep on going, keep spreading the Gospel!!! Your book Made to Crave was used by God to change my whole way of thinking 3 years ago. I have lost over 100 pounds and praise God for it. He used you as His mighty instrument:)
Thanks Lysa for your words of honesty and obedience. I like when you said “It’s OK to feel a certain way but not act upon it.” I think sometimes as Christian Women we feel guilty about how something affected us or made us feel, but that is not wrong. Maybe we feel jealous, hurt, angry, etc. But it is what we DO with IT that can make it SIN. I love reading your books and articles. I’m still not a blogger…don’t know how to do it..but some day I’ll sit down and figure it out ha
Have a wonderful day.
Thank you! God has really blessed me through your ministry. There are days, I feel your devotionals are just for me.
Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:31 What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?
Nothing is wasted. Everything we go through in some way God uses to bring us to the next level in our relationship with Him as well as helping someone else. If we allow Him to turn the negative into the positive as you’ve just done, we can eventually come to the point where we can agree with Psalms 119:71 where it states it was good that I was afflicted. Thank you for your transparency. This was most definitely helpful to me.
Thank you Lysa. Great advice and wisdom straight from God. I’m sure the fear of persecution have kept many back from their calling, glad it didn’t stop you. This is a great lesson for Compel as well; when our voices get louder, the critics come out. Keep shouting from the rooftops knowing you are pleasing Him and making an impact in many lives. Mine included!
Wise words from a wise woman. Thank you for sharing and teaching us to be loving and humble. You rock!
Thank you for showing that even though you often seem larger than life to so many of us, you are human and flawed and hurt and defensive. I feel like that and sometimes it feels like I’m alone in that, even while knowing I’m not.
The very words I needed to hear today! Thank you and God bless you!
Lysa,
I just want 2 personally thank u 4 all u do and the blessing u r 2 me. None of us as christians r perfect we try 2 do the best we can 4 our God and 2 help others but no we r not perfect i wish i was. But i got so much out of this about understanding the hurt of others and that hurting people hurt people and this is so true. Not that it makes it right but i think it will help us 2 see it in a different light. But i love u and this ministry and i so look forward 2 my morning devotions. Thank u and i love u and am praying 4 u!!!!! 🙂
Your inspired work is a blessing to so many! Our little Made to Crave bible study in KS sure thinks so :). Take heart and keep your chin up (eyes on Him)! God bless!
“Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.” Proverbs 18:21 (MSG)
Remember: we have a choice every day with the words we give to other people. We can use our words to breathe life into another person or we can use our words to suck the life right out of them.
The above I got from you and wrote it in my journal just yesterday. Thank you for being such a servant of God. He knows our hurts and long for us to turn to Him for guidance and comfort.
Lisa! Thank you so very much for always being so honest and raw. As a Christian woman I’ve often fell into the trap of thinking that I always have to say and feel the “right” way. You’re writings are always so refreshing to me to think, yeah I feel that way too and it’s O.K. Keep on pressing on toward the High calling. Remember people often throw rocks at shiny things.
Love this post~ reading this before starting my day was the right thing to do. Lysa, you’re truly an angel sent from heaven to comfort those around you just like you have done with me today. Blessings and love, Evelina
I find that hitting the “pause button” has helped me enormously. Instant reactions are rarely the best reactions. Of course, the problem with worrying about these things when they happen is that we re-live them over and over and over in our minds. Nothing like that practice to keep the wound open! Your solution is the perfect thing. Moving forward in love as quickly as possible is what it takes to begin the healing process.
Thank you for sharing this. I found myself in this situation just days ago, except with family. I believe I am trying my best, but sometimes it isn’t the best in someone else’s eyes. I pray for God to show me how to be and do better for others and especially according to Him. Your emails help me get through every day. Thank you for being human and letting others be human with you. I truly needed this.
Lysa,
God is so- so good. While reading your heart through your words, I realized the same as all who responded. We are brought together in adversity to bring strength and encouragement to eachother as the healthy functional body (of Christ) that God intends for His church to be. Hiding behind the mask does not allow for God to use the gift in another to glorify Himself. I am not only impressed with all of your writings, I hang on your words as they pierce my being and speak to the heart of who we are as women (and some men I see!). Who you are, is who God intended for you to be. The gift in you is His and therefore the attack on you is an attack to the Holy Spirit in you and guess what, I realize even as I say this – He’s not surprised nor offended by accusations and cruelty. Your response is the one Christ would take and that impresses me to do the same when faced with the same situation through those who do not walk in the same Light that we do. Might I add, that I browsed through more than 70 responses of love and encouragement from all different cities and states! (I’m in Connecticut) and its only 8:45 in the morning! We become one voice God will use express our love for you and your gift – to lift you up and you will soar on wings as eagles. I love the power of His Word… “you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good.” – Genesis 50:20. “Love Never Fails” …so Bless the Lord and may God continue to bless and speak through you Lysa for His desired purposes which are pleasing TO HIM.
I love your words, they always seem to speak truth and hurt less. I look forward to being able to make these little choices and not be so hurt and broken, and seemingly lonely. Thank you for doing what you do and helping Unglued people like me!
Dear Lysa –
You are an awesome minister of the gospel! Because you are faithfully accomplishing what God has called you to do in proclaiming Jesus so faithfully – the dark side is consumed with rage. These onslaughts are actually an indication that you are SO doing the right thing! Please be encouraged – despite the intense pain! People usually have a couple of reactions to transparency in others – they are either set free to be transparent themselves (as I and many friends have been) or they are completely terrified of what to do with all that freedom! Praying that our Lord Jesus will soothe you, (as only He can do) and wrap you up in His everlasting arms! Keep fighting the good fight of the faith – you are so very gifted and amazing!!! Phyllis
Thank you so much for these words Lysa! More often than not, words of hurt that make me shake my head are directed at a public figure such as yourself rather than at me personally but that has not always been the case. I endured teasing in both elementary school and high school (which surprised me; I guess I thought teenagers would be a bit less open about it) and the words or actions hurt each and every time they were spoken or acted upon. As a child and then as a teen, I never really understood that the people speaking hurtful words to me or about me were speaking not only out of hurt places within themselves but also out of insecurity. As much as I’d love to say that I always responded in love, I didn’t and as much as I’d love to say that those words don’t still sting to some extent a good ten years after the fact, they do. As I mature in my faith I’m learning to walk confidently as a daughter of God, a precious, *chosen* child of the Most High King and that is making all the difference.
I really needed to hear these words today! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! You are truely a gift from God! I enjoy reading your blogs and devotions, they have helped me through my own struggles. God bless you!
Thank you Lysa for all that you have shared with everyone about your life.
You are an truly encouragement to so many.
I am at a place in my life where I really don’t know what to do. In fact the last time I attended church I walked the isle at the end of the service and said those exact words to the preacher, ” I don’t know what to do”.
I still am not sure about what to do about this problem but I’m taking one day at a time and trying to do some little something right each day while still praying for that answer. Anyway, thank you for the encouragement and may you be encouraged also .
Hi Lysa,
Thank you for sharing this. I have never responded to something on a website before but felt compelled to send these two poems to you. I read your blog often although not many people here Down Under know about you. I hope that you can see that what you do is far more important than what you experience but the pain is the same……but no more than Our Saviour experienced. Be blessed……
“The day when Jesus stood alone
And felt the hearts of men like stone,
And knew He came but to atone
That day “He held His peace.”
They witnessed falsely to His word,
They bound Him with a cruel cord,
And mockingly proclaimed Him Lord;
“But Jesus held His peace.”
They spat upon Him in the face,
They dragged Him on from place to place,
They heaped upon Him all disgrace;
“But Jesus held His peace.”
My friend, have you for far much less,
With rage, which you called righteousness,
Resented slights with great distress?
Your Saviour “held His peace.”
“I am leading my child to the heavenly land;
I am leading her day by day.
And am asking her now, while I hold her hand,
To come Home by a rugged way.
By a way that she never herself would choose,
For its beauties she doth not see;
And she knows not yet what her soul would lose
If she tred not this path with Me.
I will walk by her side when the road is wild,
I will ever My succor lend:
She shall lean on My strength, I will shield My child,
As the shadows of night descend.”
Author Unknown
Lovely
I like this post too. You hit all the ways to resolve those issues. The bible by the water in a peaceful environment if you can works. I would have left the parking lot with those feelings. Anything can be put off. Didn’t Jesus remain silent when attached? That’s probably the reason. He wanted to show his love. Way to go Lysa. If you don’t mind, I would like to forward your post for my daughter, whom does the same but right now has backslidden. She wears her “heart on her sleeve”. You cannot control other people’s reactions only your own. Blessings abounding upon you.
Sue
Dear Lisa, I am so sorry this happened! I have been in ministry full time for 20 years and have learned you can’t please all the people all the time. Sadly, it hurts even more when we are mistreated, misjudged, etc. by believers. I guess we expect more from the body of Christ! I like your idea that maybe their criticism is coming from their hurt and having compassion. I have learned that to be true and have taught my fourth graders over the years to look at it that way and that you may even become good friends with a person who has unjustly attacked you. (It often comes from their insecurity, I believe!). It always comforts me to remember that the Lord knows my heart and He is the one who ultimately matters! I also make it a game to win that person(s) over by being so, so nice to them and praying for them! Takes time, but usually works!
Love you Lysa! Keep fighting the good fight. You are truly a good and faithful servant. I always look forward to your postings. Can’t wait to see you the first weekend in August in Fairfax, VA for the Bible Study and Women of Faith Tour. God bless you.
****sigh***** I read your words every day. My heart and soul are so empty. The circumstances are so much like others i read here. The damage feels like death. My head knows one thing about God and his indescribable love, mercy and hope but my heart feels another. I am paralyzed by this situation and feel trusting God is impossible. Like He’s not here. Like I’ve been in a wasteland for a decade. Like this will never end. The destruction is REAL and everyday I wake up to it. I just go through the motions. My kids have been affected, my marriage is threadbare. Just no hope.
Brenda,
I’m so sorry you are hurting. I am praying for you! Do you have someone that you trust that you can talk to? A pastor or his wife? The devil is a crafty little sucker and knows when and how to attack us at our most vulnerable times. I pray you can find some comfort in God’s Love today. He loves you. Hang in there sister.
I do and I have shared. I know I need professional counseling but there is a $$$ issue. Thank you for responding. I just wish I could take your words from my head into my heart. I truly question all the Christian beliefs I was brought up with and wonder if He even cares because the last decade has beaten me to disbelief.
Good morning ladies!
Lisa, first of all I tip my hat to you for the way you responded. It is so easy for us (me) to allow my flesh to go into defensive mode more often than not. Thank you for listening to the Lord and seeking Him in how to respond. I know how it hurts to be publicly attacked. I am a pastor’s wife and before that a preacher’s/pastor’s kid. Hurt people hurt people! Amen!!! Thank you for being willing to love them. Kind of sounds like something Jesus would have done 🙂 I always tell my kids to respond with love and that is not easy. What an example you are to us but also to your family and friends.
I am thankful for you. You put your heart out there & trust God to take care of it. People can be so hurtful, but you’re right. They are lashing out from a place of hurt themselves. Thank you for being so real & allowing us to see it’s ok for us to be real too. I struggle with that daily because my husband is a minister. I don’t always have a polished answer. I stumble & crash like everyone else. God loves me anyway.
Thank you for listening to the Holy Spirit. Such timely words for me this morning. I believe Chris said “hurt people hurt people” – so true. Lysa, you have shared a deep hurt that can wound the soul. I know when my heart is hit it seems to penetrate to the very depth of my soul, but I am so thankful for God’s love that heals the deepest wounds and thankful for His grace to help me forgive no matter what the circumstance. You and every one involved in your ministry are a blessing. Thank you.
Thank you!
1. For sharing
2. For being a light to the world
3. I’m sure if you look back at all your comments that the good you’ve brought to peoples lives FAR outweighs those negative remarks
God bless
“Why do I display my heart to all the world typed up in pixelated letters?” Yeah, I have wondered this for the last 4 days. Something happened last week that shook me. I was attacked with hatred and it hurt. It shouldn’t have, because who is this person being so nasty to me? No one. But still….words hurt. I said I am sorry for my part in the comments but that didn’t stop the hatred coming from this person, and I am still reeling. Was she right about me? That’s what I ask. Someone once said something like, their hateful words say more about them, than it says about you. But that still doesn’t heal the wounds. I am with you in that Target parking lot. If they have the right to express their opinion, then so do we. We may not agree on everything but i have lots of friends that I don’t agree with and yet we can still be friends. Having a different opinion than that person doesn’t make me all those hateful words she had to call me.
The butterfly is proof that you can go through a great deal of darkness yet become something beautiful. Lysa, I pray that you remain encouraged and continue to be a beacon of light in times of darkness and allow God to do a work in and through you. Remember that even a broken crayon still colors beautifully. Beautifully broken is where God does His BEST work!! Stay blessed!
Lysa, I have been there many times. I appreciate your sharing your heart. And Brenda, please don’t give up! Whatever you are going through, God can turn it around. Speak life over your situation and watch God move.
Lysa, I can’t imagine why anyone would want to diss you about anything…it must have come from their hurt and jealousy…I am praising God for all you do and finding you and your inspirations and books….my Dad once told me that as long as you can hold your head up, if others have an issue with you and what you’ve done, then that’s their problem not yours…..please don’t let anyone “dull your sparkle”. God bless you as you have blessed me!
People said really horrible things about Jesus too when He was here in person. The fact that He was human must’ve meant it hurt, but the fact that He was God’s son must’ve meant He knew exactly how to handle it. We are to follow his example which can be really hard to do since He had that whole perfect thing going for Him that we don’t have, but we do have Him. He said over and over and over love, love, love. So I think you are on the right track. And we might not be perfect, but we can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. When we become aware that we are a child of Christ and not really of this world, the things of this world will try even harder to attack us & make us very uncomfortable being here. I’ll be honest, sometimes that can be so hard, it can make me want to throw the towel in & just give up or look at those “happy” worldly people bee bopping along without a care in the world & think what’s so bad about that & maybe even be a little envious of their “easy” and “care free” existence, until I realize this is yet another lie the enemy is trying to feed me. Being a true believer is hard, sometimes really hard, but the truth is the payoff is sooooo worth it & so much better than the alternative. And I know those “happy, easy going, care free” people aren’t really all those things all the time because I was one of those people before I was saved. It can seem fun on the surface, but the pain of being lost is so deep on the inside. Christ gives us His power & His direction to wade our way through this imperfect world. We just have to ask, how AWSOME is that. And in those hurtful times as a Christian, God has given me such amazing lessons & closeness to Him. It’s like you get to crawl up in His lap & cry, and then he gives you a little push to get going & you find out the lesson & the good stuff out of all that hard stuff. That NEVER happened before I was saved. I just got hurt & pretty much stayed hurt, no lesson learned. No amazing ah ha moments, just more confusion. I feel for you & applaud you & pray for you. Hang in there girl! He’ll get you through!
Oh dear Lysa….no matter what they say….It does not change who you are….whose you are and the ministry God has called you to. You are faithful so the devil decided to give you critics because he knows critics will hurt you most …. Or he messes with your kids and family. Head up and carry on faithful princess of the kingdom….all the negative thoughts and posts will wither away with the sinful minority who share them…. You dear one are here to stay. Press on! Love and prayers to you…. You are a light on the hill for me in my neck of the woods! Melanie P
My goal for 2014 has been to find myself spiritually. I have been researching and reading and just a little blogging (I need to do more but have a hard time putting feelings to words). As I go through this journey to be closer to God, I have found posts like yours come at the perfect time and thus prove to me over and over that God has always wanted to talk to me but I haven’t been giving him the chance until recently. Your recent post of losing your smile and now this post of hurtful comments resonate with me as if you plugged them right out of my head and my heart. Thank you for being the conduit for God to speak to me.
To correct myself – I meant to say plucked not plugged. Also, I forgot to mention that I was particularly happy to read your point that you still get angry but it is how you respond that is the key – not the fact that you get angry at the people who made the hurtful comments.
Thank you for opening up about this. I struggle with wanting to be a people pleaser and so judgement and harsh words can really hurt me. Thank you for the encouragement toward compassion in our responses. I think that will really help some. And to add to the others, I have been really blessed by your writings. So please keep sharing!
You are a wonderful blessing to so many. I will ever forget the first time I accidentally discovered you. That book with the woman on the front with her head stuck in her purse. That woman was me. Screaming her brains out in frustration, hurt, and anger. Your words spoke to me like a best friend giving wise loving advice. You held my hand (without knowing it) through the hardest year of my life. And you kept leading right into the arms of my loving Father God. That’s what a good teacher/ leader does.
Your ability to stop and take the time to see things from your attackers point of view shows wisdom and spiritual maturity that unfortunately, even women who are older and have been living this Christian life for a longer time, do not have. It is a precious gift indeed to have wisdom beyond your years. I thank my God often for the blessing of your ministry and the timely word He gives you to share with us.
Thank you for being who you are, that is what our Life Group loved so much about “Unglued”, I also believe the enemy is behind the hateful word. You are loved by 1000’s of women for your straight forward honest guidance, keep st it Lysa.
Excellent! Excellent! Excellent! I can relate to so many of your posts here and your encouraging words in the Encouragement Today devotional. I have read several of your books and they too ring of truth. Thank you! May God continue to bless you, your family, and your ministry for Him! Thank you for being REAL and for not pretending or performing for others.
Thank you for being who you are, that is what our Life Group loved so much about “Unglued”, I believe the enemy is behind the hateful words. You are loved by 1000’s of women for your straight forward honest life experiences.
Lysa, I am so sorry that some person or people are taking out their hurt on you. It is not right! While I don’t know what was said, that anyone would be unkind to you makes me really mad!
You have been a beautiful example of vulnerability and living life to glorify God. I know it’s not easy to lay your life out to others in such an honest manner, but it is an incredible blessing to so many women (and men) that you will never meet this side of Heaven. Jesus lived life honestly. You live life honestly. A lot of people didn’t like what Jesus had to say either. You are in good company 🙂
I want you to know that you have been a big influence on me and I so relate to your writing. I often find that I have a tough time relating to women in ministry because they don’t always feel authentic to me. I always feel a connection to you and your writing. I often think that I wish you lived in my community because I think you would be a great friend.
God speaks to me and so many others through you. Don’t let another broken, hurting person discourage you. That is what Satan wants. Thanks for writing out of your pain and giving us positive things to do in the messy situations of life.
Know that you have many friends…and this one in California will stand to defend you!
P.s. I know the Target parking lot well! And haven’t we all had a good cry in that parking lot? If you’re not crying, one of our kids is crying, or your parking neighbor is crying, or someone, somewhere in that lot is crying. Which gives me an idea, maybe when we go to Target, which for some of us is almost daily :), maybe we should say a little prayer for whoever it is in that parking lot that needs comforting that day. God knows who it is & think of the power of that. There’s a lot of people at Target & that’s a lot of love! 🙂
Hi Lysa,
Just wanted to thank you for being so open with us women. Your honesty and transparency is very encouraging and teaches me atleast that it’s okay to be honest with ourselves and even with God. It truly is the best way to move on.
In reading this post. I am reminded of a terrible moment in my life several years ago before I got married.
While being a Christian I dealt very heavily with homosexuality and within the church to make matters worst. I remember being warned several times that if I did not stop my nonsense I would be somewhat “expelled” from church.
But also during that time I had also hit a breakthrough point in my life and my walk with The Lord.
All the friends I thought I had were no longer my friends. I had fingers pointed at me. People talking about me where I could hear them. I would get dirty looks where I could see them and I genuinely felt like an outcast while they took the side of the other young lady that was involved with me at the time.
I can’t remember ever feeling so alone and feeling so much pain every Sunday when I pushed through to make it to church anyway to get in Gods face as I declared a new life and change!
While going through that season of being cleansed and pruned by God and re molded and re shaped re defined I remember feeling the closest to God because something within me knew that God had not left my side despite my stupidity and my poor choices. He was there for when everyone pointed fingers at me and left me alone to deal with my mess.
I eventually got my breakthrough and got my freedom from that lifestyle that I so badly desired! But it wasn’t easy.
It took a lot of prayer. It took a lot of fasting and even cutting some people out of my life and really just choosing to be with God despite everything I was going through and what everyone was saying about me at the time.
That was about 3 close to 4 years ago. I am now happily married. I have my two kids and one on the way with my husband that also serves The Lord with me in our church!
So what to do when you don’t know what to do. In my opinion and experience. Seek God. And get in His face.
Thank you lysa ☺️
Lysa,
I have learned so much from the wisdom that you share through your life experiences with God and others. I appreciate your honesty. So very often I grab hold of something you’ve shared to help me through a hard time, especially those when close loved ones inflict wounds to my heart, either intentionally or unintentionally. Thank you for your ministry! Keep on allowing the Lord to use you for HIS glory!
Words can hurt and leave us feeling as you do! Thank you for sharing your response and I sincerely hope that they next time I can remember to “Do the next small thing, the right way, right away. You and your ministry are such a blessing to so many, including me!
Lysa…you have no idea how much this post meant to me today. I have made some MAJOR mistakes recently in my life and after going through a period of “discipline” for my actions after confessing and asking forgiveness..I am now in a much better place and getting my life back on track. I just completed my first full week back at work as our church’s secretary and it went wonderful, until yesterday morning when I got my first “hate” email from a member of our congregation. It stabbed straight to my heart…after going through a number of emotions I ended up at depressed….again. I don’t need to be reminded of my sin…but apparently this person thinks I do. But I chose love. I went to God first and I called upon my prayer warriors to hold me up. I chose not to respond to the hate email, but to pray for the sender instead. It wasn’t an easy day…I am still bruised…but YOUR post was in my email box this morning…just as God had intended it to be. THANK YOU for your words and wisdom. You have no idea how great it is to know that other people relate to the feelings we have and the hurt we go through. Thank you for being a beacon for us “real” women in the world! Praise Jesus for you and your ministry!
I needed these words today and your reminders that regardless of how we feel, we can respond in love. I am thankful for you and the way God uses you in this ministry. Thank you Lysa, for helping me not feel alone in so many of the struggles of life. God bless you and yours.
I love your “imperfect solutions,” Lysa. Doing SOMETHING is better than waiting for perfect. Thanks for sharing your heart. We can all relate. You impact so many lives. I just wanted my comment to be the 125th to say thank you!
Dear Lysa,
Thank you for sharing. True, hurt people, hurt people. I wish I could always remember in the heat of it all right then, Jesus said, “If the world hates you, remember they hated me first, we are not above our Lord. Teach me Lord in times like these so that your Word goes deeper and anchors me more solidly in You. Lysa, be encouraged by one who has walked as all sisters who love the Lord with genuine love. Thanks
Just having completed at my church, a wonderful bible study on the book of Ephesians, I felt the prompting of the Holy Spirit to comment on your wonderfully honest post. What are we to do, when we do not know what to do? We “put on the full armour of God, so that (we) can take (our) stand against the devil’s schemes.” Eph. 6:11. We suit up with the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the shoes of the gospel of peace, the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation and the defence of the sword of the Spirit (the word of God). “The word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword. It penetrates even in dividing soul and spirit; joints and marrow. It judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” Heb. 4:12.
Thanks so much for starting my day on the right path.
I am dealing with this exact same thing right now today. And you are so right -hurt people , hurt people. My integrity & character are being attacked and publicly to others without the accusers even talking to me. This is so heart wrenching from a client I’ve worked with 19 yrs this August. For the dedication and commitment I have exemplified for 19 yrs to stand for nothing ….I’m just speechless. I’m trusting GOD through it all! No weapon formed against me shall prosper. This doesn’t feel good, but I trust GOD that it is working for my good!!! Thank you for sharing!
Lysa, God used your circumstances to bring full-circle what my pastor preached Sunday…love is our common language. I’ve been hurt time and time again by someone who is supposed to love me the most and they even claim to love me, but the harshness I experience doesn’t give proof to that. As I stop focusing on the harshness and how it makes me feel and focus on Jesus’ wonderful love and compassion, I find myself feeling joyful through my circumstances. My pastor’s sermon encouraged me to continue to show love and speak with love through my circumstances and your post reminded me that in order to show love I must have compassion for the hurt of my loved-one. Words tear us down but Gods True Word builds us back up better than before and gives us the confidence through Him to have a positive impact on others on His behalf. Philippians 4:13 “I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.”
To be honest, this is my biggest fear as I learn to share my heart in the broader online community. Thank you for sharing your experience and the gracious response you’re learning to use.
Dear Sweet Sister Lisa,
Your blog about people and their unkind words towards you broke my heart and I know The Lord knows and bears your pain with you as well. As a Christian leader, speaker, encourager and teacher, you have a big bulls eye on your back and Satan will always be aiming for you. The more effective you are the more he will try to take you down. Those hurtful words were arrows straight from him. Your shield of Faith will help you “ward off the fiery darts” as you continue to be faithful in your ministry. Your scars are a testament to your faithfulness and effectiveness, there are thousands of women who are encouraged by your words so we all encourage you to push on through the pain and know with Paul that “when you are weak, then He is strong”.
You are dealing with this so beautifully! I will pray for you. Just remember there are more of us out here who love your ministry!
Matthew 5:11-12 “God blesses you when you are mocked and persecuted and lied about because you are my followers. Be happy about it! Be very glad! For a great reward awaits you in heaven. And remember, the ancient prophets were persecuted too.”
I can completely relate to your situation. I went through something similar last year when I started really pursuing Christ with my whole heart and whole life. I lost all my friends at the time because of it and there were many terrible, hurtful lies said about me. I know it’s hard now but take comfort in that God has a plan and is using you, and allowing you to walk through this situation to be a light to so many other women going through similar heartaches.
As women we are so very vulnerable and fragile in this broken world we live in, its a dangerous place for our hearts. But that is exactly what makes us so beautiful at the same time. God calls us to be vulnerable and to share our hearts with the world because that is exactly where we bare the image of God, in our hearts. So thank you so very much for what you do everyday. Don’t ever let them stop you.
Lysa be encouraged! Whatever remarks were said there are SO many more of us who think you are amazing! People you don’t even know! How cool is that!! You always speak right to me….God has used you in a big way in my life and the lives of many others!!
Lysa,
Thank you for your honesty and being so real even when things are hard. I pray for you to be encouraged and to keep doing what you are doing. 🙂
You said it so well, and I’ve felt this way so many times on the internet that sometimes I just had to walk away. Bless you for your faithfulness and bravery to put it all out there online and in books. I’m reading Unglued right now and I wish I could explain to you the way reading it is like having a friend right there telling me things, showing me things and helping me understand me and those around me. I tried reading it once before but I wasn’t ready for those truths to hit me between the eyes, sink into the brain, the soul and impact my heart. I am now. Thank you. 🙂 It’s a wonderful, honest, compassionate book and I’m now telling everyone I know to read it!
I love your honesty. I love your vulnerability. I love your willingness to show me, and everyone else, how imperfect and wonderful life is.
Don’t let then silence you, Lysa. I need your voice reminding me, gently nudging me towards God. I appreciate you so much! Never said it before but there it is. 🙂 And maybe I’ll be brave too and go back to letting the ones who hurt me see my heart because it’s not about me, it’s about Jesus. And he was mocked and beat and killed for me. Yep, I can be brave for that.
Bless you, Lysa. I hope all the words on this page help you, comfort you and strengthen you, but more than that I know my God is loving you and holding you close!
Thank you for always being so open and honest. I’ve been reading your words and relating for years. I love your heart, Lysa. Keep doing what you do. God bless!!
Thank you for this! Bless you Lysa! Social Media can be so hurtful. I know you help alot of people and myself included. Thank you for being you!
Lysa–
I think the rhyme, if truthful, would be “sticks and stones may break the bones, but words can break the heart.” I know words have broken mine. There is a tension in how to respond so that I don’t break another’s heart with my response. Whenever one is willing to send words out into the world, she becomes a target. You have blessed me many times with your words. Thank you.
OMG!! Thank you so much for your wise and comforting words. I have been going through the same thing and asking myself the same question of what do I do?
You are such an inspiration and I love reading your blog and books. You are a blessing! Thank you again. This has helped me so much today.
Lisa you are always an inspiration to me, remember nobody is perfect, and you have people that enjoys hurting others just for their pleasure. Look on how much good you do, put your head up, you are not perfect but you are an amazing creation of God and is doing a great job.
Thank you
My pastor always says “When you don’t know what to do, do what you know until you know what to do.” Very much in line with what you said about doing the next small thing the right way, right away. Love that. Blessings to you and prayers for peace in the midst of the hurt. Love your ministry.
Thank you, Lysa! I often find that when I’m in a situation like this, that there is something in me that The Lord wants to conform to his likeness….it hurts to be refined, but if I look mere like him, it’s worth it!❤️ My mantra lately is “fix my eyes on Jesus”!
The first thing I thought of was 1 Peter 5:8-9, “Be self controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in your faith!” I have had my step daughter hurt my feelings twice in the past 3 years with words that were not true on a social media site. The first time I was terribly hurt, the second time, I realized it was her that had the problems not me. She is my best friend when she needs something, but when things don’t go her way, she is the enemy! Still love her though!!
Oh Lysa!
You women of faith are beautiful to the core! I am a 58 year old broken woman who can’t wait to read the blogs of women in their 30’s and 40’s who know so much more than I did as a woman of God in my 30’s. Being a school teacher in a very broken public school system in the rural northern part of the east there aren’t many believers where I live. I rely on your wisdom and those of all of the Christian women who put their hearts out there to be seen by the world! You are inspirational my friend. I am actually looking for 50 something Christian women bloggers who can walk with me through my journey of faith. It’s a lonely world where my hubby and I live, and this is why we opened a guest suite to invite weary travelers into our home for RnR.
Keep up the great work Lysa!
I’m so sorry this happened to you. Though not on social media, I have been a victim of slander in my life, and words do hurt and cut so deeply. I try to think of the deep, excruciating wounds Jesus bore in every way for us. It is through painful trials like this that Jesus leads us deeper into knowing “the fellowship of His sufferings” and equips us to bear His image to others. Jesus has placed His beautiful spirit in you to respond by showing compassion and love. Thank you for comforting me today, Lysa, by being so open and honest.
Lysa – my heart was right there with you – been there so many times. Tried to do the right thing – your response to all this is spot on. Sending loving blessings to you.
How gracious that you’ve considered the negative comments coming from a place of “hurt”. I’ve learned that you can’t please everyone, no matter how hard you try. May peace be with you and I hope that those who wrote the hurtful comments can be more kind in the future. Your writing is very powerful and I love reading your writing.
Up until a few weeks ago I had never even heard of you, but timing is worth everything. I was at the bottom as it felt in my life. It was only about 2 years ago that I was losing weight, 128 lbs. before throwing almost all of it away with just a few free birthday meals or items in my birthday month. I thought, hey I had been so good, but really didn’t know the impact all of it would have on me. It was like I lost a grip and couldn’t find my way back, so for the past almost 2 years I have tried and kept failing. I might say when I happen to come upon the 6 sessions on youtube on Made To Crave. Something just clicked. I have now watched all 6 of them 3 times and if I feel the need will be doing more. Thank you, thank you, thank you!! I feel through your insight and your book I am gaining a fresh and new ground with Jesus. The most difficult thing for me will be not being able to weigh due to only having 80% of my disks gone in my spine when standing I have horrible pain and it’s worse since gaining a lot of that 128 lbs back. Most of the time I am in a wheelchair. I will have to go by my clothes and the way they fit to chart any progress, but just getting back to eating the way I know is healthy and the way God intended makes me so very happy.
Just know that for every person that may find fault with you, there are dozens like myself that you have help bring Peace (session #3) back to them through your books, blog and posts. So don’t let the negative people Consume you, but be that Courageous person for the rest of us that truly feel blessed to come across your work that Jesus has inspired you to write and tell about.
Lysa, thank you for answering and obeying the call God has put on your life. I consider you a mentor and admire you so much. As I read your post these words came to me “the bigger the calling, the bigger the target”. I think whoever said those things was coming from a place of brokenness and you have a big target on your back. The people who troll the Internet and offload all their hate on people like you are doing so because they lack the courage and maturity to deal with themselves and those who caused them pain. Throwing arrows at you on the Internet doesn’t require any courage or maturity, but dealing with their real life issues does.
Love & prayers,
Erin
So many dear words of encouragement, Lysa! I’m sure you are feeling the love today! The body of Christ upholds us when we are wounded in the battle.
As followers of Jesus we have been given commands to follow: to love The Lord our God with all our hearts, soul, minds and strength…and to love our neighbors as ourselves. Sometimes those marching orders are so messy, aren’t they!? And yet there aren’t any exceptions. Love God, love others…anyway.
I’ve heard Mother Teresa posted a poem in the children’s homes in Calcutta; this paradoxical list was written by Dr. Keith when he was just 19 and a student at Harvard, it has been shared by many around the world…
The Paradoxical Commandments (by Dr. Kent M. Keith)
People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered. Love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway.
If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway.
The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds. Think big anyway.
People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs. Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway.
People really need help but may attack you if you do help them. Help people anyway.
Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you have anyway.
“Lord, teach us to be generous: Teach us to serve you as you desire, to give and not count the cost; to fight and not to heed the wounds; to toil and not to seek for rest; to labor and not to ask for reward, save that of knowing that we are doing your will.” /Ignatius of Loyola
Lysa,
I have felt connected to you for the past few years. I love that you share your heart and your “realness” with us! Thank you for posting this today.
It is so hard when you strive to do the right thing for people to be so mean.
Words DO hurt!!! I want you to know that I am praying for your ministry, for your family, and for you. Thank you for blessing my life.
Thanks Lysa for sharing, I like the way you handled the whole issue. Let’s know everything we go through is not about us but all about God.
I find that being angry and not acting angry is huge! I have a sister who is a celebrity and honestly the press about her that bothers me never bothers her LOL! I want to react so angry and defend her but I see that her Grace teaches me to handle the comments with Love and I get a much better reaction from people on the internet who tend to hit back. So take a deep breath and rethink the way you may want to respond before you hit send.
The other thing for me, when I want to sit and cry, I do it on a walk. I start to notice all of Gods beauty and there are kids or dogs playing that may make me giggle and it brings me back to a place of peace. I am currently living in Minnesota so this one is not always easy.
Teaching yourself not to be offended is hard but, its true. Knowing that someone was triggered by something you did or said is about them. Its really not about you. Love, its the only way to deal with people – even when this hot tempered Italian who is probably in pre menopause as we speak – I know I have to take a deep breath and respond in “Love”
Hi Lysa,
Sorry for the negative comments. That is really about them. If all of us (and Michael Hyatt too) are fans, then I hope we are an encouragement to you. This past year I went through the Boundaries book again (it had been 20 years) in a small group with friends. I am in a different place in life and learned so many better perspectives on what is mine and what belongs to others. I offer that as a source of wisdom in dealing with people.
Love,
Jenny
I so needed this wisdom! Ugh, I hate it when I feel misunderstood. Your God given gift of knowing a hurting heart is beautiful. Love you, you Jesus-girl!
Lysa, I recently experienced a firestorm like this started by one of my students who was upset with a grade I had given on an assignment. Before I knew it, parents and people who didn’t know the situation, and didn’t know me or my intent, had joined in to publically crucify me and the school for which I work. One little spark of anger…and the brittle lies began.
Events like this should help us pull back and say, “Okay, is there any truth? Should I have handled it differently? What can I do to learn from this?” Instead, I let it upset me at work, and the ripple effects for everyone involved, including the student and her family, were very negative for a while. If I had gone with my first response, it would not have been Godly at all; however, I listened to wise counsel from two people and prayed for patience/to forgive/to learn.
A firestorm can only be put out with water…and the Holy Spirit is the best Water I know. It was/is a humbling experience, but I know God used all of it for His glory and to teach everyone involved.
Thank you for sharing your heart and living in a glass house. When we make our hearts visible, we offer it up to be speared by the enemy. We sacrifice privacy so others can see they are not alone in their struggles. Know that, through your words of encouragement and your willingness to be a servant, you are touching lives.
Being nicked and losing a little blood is okay…the loving Healer’s hands are ready.
Oh Lysa, perfect timing for you to share…as God’s timing always is. I was just telling someone this morning “…for when I am weak, I am strong.” and here you are comforting and guiding me in your weakness! PERFECT. I have a coworker that I struggle with, since she lashed out at me 2 years ago (I was in the middle of cancer treatment at the time). I knew she was hurting, but it’s hard to have that compassion and love when I was hanging on by a thread. God has taught me much through this, and i NEEDED your words TODAY as I struggle with how I react, and interact. THANK YOU so much for your guidance – for the experiences you endure so you can hold our hands and help us get through this stuff together. With Christ! Prayers for hurting people.
Thank you Lysa for your honesty and just simply sharing your heart. I am struggling this morning over hurtful things from a family member which seems be intentionally placed on social media for me to see which feels like a dagger to my heart. I have prayed all morning for the Holy Spirit to just help me through the pain and He led me to your email. It was like bandages to all the little wounds. When you said “The circumstances might have been different, but the hurt is the same … that sliced-open feeling of being judged, misunderstood, and wrongly exposed for the purpose of a good debate.” you spoke directly to me because these are the unfortunate feelings I had this morning. With your words of encouragement and help, I can see the right approach and I am so thankful for He who helped me stay calm and find this so that I could walk through all this pain in a way that I will come out feeling good about the way I handled it. “Hurt people hurt people” is a great reminder for me to be more loving to them because obviously they are hurting which regardless of the circumstances hurts me-because what hurts Him, hurts me.
Thank you again Lysa. I so needed this…
Thank the Lord for leading you to write this and for Him allowing me to read this. Sometimes its easy to get caught up in the hurt. When I know I should try my best at these times to see people through love. We dont always know why someone may hurt us but just to know God is the only true healer of broken hearts. If I follow through with love then I will feel the love. But if I follow through acting wrongfully out of that hurt then its harder to find peace, healing and feel love. I know I have to be careful not to feed the wrong fleshly feelings. What we feed usually grows. I dont want the hurt, hate, anger, resentment or brokeness to grow. I have been dealing with some of this kind of situation lately. As I set here and write this, God is opening my eyes and speaking to me about this. Its like I hear Him saying stop feeding those fleshy feelings. I get this visual of writing the whole situation down on paper along with my reaction (that are blessing to God) and seeing a big hand reach down and with the biggest stamper ever, stamping LOVE across the paper. I know we have feelings but sometimes those feelings arent good for us to let lead us. I may feel hurt and thats ok but not to let the hurt turn into unlove. I may not feel love at that moment but I need to dig deep look for that love and allow it to lead me. Then I have choosen love and I will eventually feel love. I need to choose love and let the Lord God above heal me and fill me with His love.
What you said can be applied across many areas as well. When you’re feeling pressed financially, go help someone else, go give something to God. Fix your eyes on Jesus. We’ve never met, but God has used you in my life.
Lysa,
Thank YOU for sharing your heart. Sending YOU Big HUGS and much Love and Prayers. I understand this experience far too well. My heart still aches and hurts but I have chosen just what YOU have-LOVE. I have also learned wisdom and that Jesus is a Faithful Friend sticking closer than a brother. I have learned that during these times Abba Father holds me and YOU. We are secure and comforted at the embrace of His hands and closeness of His Bosom.
Sweet Peace, Hugs, and Prayers <3
Dee
How beautiful and real and honest. We have all sat in that same place and I love what you say, “Do the next same thing, the right way, right away.”
*Do the next small thing, the right way, right away”
I actually had some harsh things said questioning my relationship with God yesterday. I totally felt the same way….and my thought process was similar. I also go back and try to remember my every action to see if I did something to make them say that. …then I’m up all night worrying. Well, I didn’t so anything and realize that I can only be who God made me to be. His approval is all I need!
Hi Lysa, I love you, you have helped me to embrace life with grace and courage. I have taught several of your studies at my church, with great response from our ladies. You have breathed life into your words, only by God’s grace. I look forward to more real-life teaching from you. God is so good! Praise His Holy name.
I’m confused on why your friend told you about the hurtful post. I’m not sure I could call a friend and tell her that someone had posted something hurtful about her. Sometimes ignorance really is bliss. Had it been me, I think I would have defended my friend by commenting and telling the nice things about her (which your friend may have done). But then, I would have left it at that.
I will never enter a Target parking lot again without looking for one of my sisters with Kleenex in hand…I love how even in this hurt, it has served to heal so many… Love you my dear Lysa! Thank you for sharing.
Thank you Lysa for showing us Christ in the way you handled this very hurtful situation. I appreciate your honesty.
Thank you to all of you fine ladies and a few gents who spoke so encouragingly through all of your words. I’ve been blessed today by all the comments. Think what good we can do for the cause of Christ if we can all take the approach to difficult situations like this with the way that Lysa was able to do.
Blessings to this great community!!!
Lysa,
I have also sat and cried alone in my car in Target’s parking lot, just a few months ago! I’m glad to know I am not the only one! I appreciate so much your honest words that show your true emotions and feelings. I think that is why I and so many other women really connect with you. Because you speak the words of how we are feeling, too!
Continue to allow God to use you to minister to people like me!
Thank you for putting yourself out there, for being transparent and vulnerable. And thank you for sharing with us. Thank you for allowing God to use you, your victories and your pain to minister to us. You have no idea how much I needed to see this, how it speaks to my heart and how it is going to help carry me through a rough time. Thank you!
Such truth in your words! I started blogging just as a mom sharing our adoption story with all its imperfections, tragedies and graces and was attacked by an adult adoptee whose adoptive parents had abused her. She twisted my words and gathered up a posse to attack me. I almost stopped blogging and wanted to pull the blog on my blog, but I didn’t. It has been a call on my life to be honest about the blessings and pains of adoption. Now I blog more about DIY and home projects because my blog is a source of income, but there are still days that I hold my breath wondering if I will be attacked. Lysa, life is a journey and you’re sharing the imperfections and realities and I’m so grateful for your ministry!
Thanks for touching the chords of many hearts though your honest sharing. God bless you as you continue to press in and press on with Him!
Lysa,
I can only say I am praying for you and I hurt for you just reading your words. Your posts are always so filled with wisdom that I want to read them over and over and you speak such loving truth, always! Your transparency and honesty connect people and your compassion and your heart for God and others is amazing and I am so so grateful that you do put yourself out there on the internet! Thank you and don’t stop!!! I will be praying.
I sat there with you this week…at my desk sobbing! Words! Words can break the soul! I’m thankful to you for your words written here though! We each have to find our own way to heal our broken soul, and remembering that because I feel someway, doesn’t mean I have to be that way, helps! And you, you just keep listening to the One who made you, who set you on this path – His is the only voice that matters!
Lysa, I just love you…you are such an honest, real person. You speak things I think of all the time, but don’t discuss with other people, or say them out loud for fear of no one else thinking or feeling like me. What a blessing you are to me and many, many other people. God is using you to make little, ‘ol me feel normal! And to bring me closer to Him. I praise God for you, Lysa!!
I truly LOVE your message! Thank you. I am persecuted at work. I really have no place else to go. I need the work to feed my family, but there are people that continue to make it a bad situation. I have been trying to do the same thing that you are doing. I am trying to hold my head up and to keep smiling and doing my job the best that I can. It gets me through the days, especially when I can help other people. Thank you for letting me know I am not alone!
Wow Lysa! Look at all these comments and they are just this of the iceberg! The influence you have had on many is worth the hurt and pain….can you see it? You are a kindred spirit and I relate to you in so many ways…and I wish I could give you a big sisterly hug and let you know that it is all worth it. Jesus is worth it! Press on…and look at the impact….even if it was just for me…it would be worth it….but there are more than you can count. Also, I am not one to normally comment…and there are thousands more that are being impacted by your words and obedience to your calling and purpose…that do not comment. I love you dear sister in Christ!
I just love your interpretation and your viewpoint! Your wit makes me laugh, and your determination and words of wisdom inspire and challenge me. Thank you for doing what you do … for answering that call and leading by example … even on the tough days. I appreciate your contribution!
Thank you for sharing your story. It has help me to put a new prospective on my own situation. Love covers all things.
May God continue to use you. You have been a blessing to me as well as all the others commenting on your story.
The Lord be with you.
Hang in there Lysa. Your experiences help all of us in so many ways. The world is a very negative place but we must always strive to move beyond the devil and his tactics. You are a shining light in the darkness so hang in there and remember God is there for us when everyone else turns away!!! Keep blogging. We love you!!!!!
I find ur open honesty a breath of fresh air given daily by our Lord. Please don’t stop being u & being the vessel God is using through u who i see as a Spirit filled proverbs 31 woman. Our Lord has been using u in my new life of sobriety. U won’t be able to make everyone always happy or like u, but that’s not ur job. I see u sharing what He’s doing in ur life & it is always something i need to hear & learn. The people that are being negative, i’ve found in my life, are being convicted by the Holy Spirit concerning something u said. Keep ur chin up so ur eyes are always focused on our Lord & Savior & not what the “people” have to say about u. You are a beautiful child of God, inside & out. I’m praying for u. God Bless u. Love in Christ, ur sister in salvation. Denise
Reading this with a tear in my eye. So grateful for real, Christian women like you who can speak wisdom & truth… Whose words feed my soul & spur me on toward Him.
Lysa–my first reaction on reading this was deep sorrow and regret that you had to experience this, b/c you and Proverbs 31 have been such a blessing to me in my daily walk. I save many of P31’s daily devotionals to refer to again as I need them and today’s will definitely be saved. But my other reaction is that because you are so effectively encouraging and strengthening women who are part of the Body of Christ, Satan is definitely going to attack you. Ann Graham Lotz says that often this hurt will come from the church itself. All of us who benefit from your ministry need to be a faithful in praying for you.
Wow! So right! Will be doing that more often for the Prov 31 ladies. I pray for our pastors but sometimes forget the other “ministers” in my life.
I needed this today, so very much. I’m sitting in the middle of one of my own Target parking lot situations and feel frozen in disbelief. Thank you for the encouragement to do the next small thing, the right way, right away.
God’s timing is amazing…I needed this today, as some misunderstandings about my ministry leadership position are flying all over the place today. It feels like a physical wound. I literally prayed to the Lord, “Help me! I don’t know what to do!” OK, maybe I yelled it with my arms open wide and tears streaming down my face. SUCH AN ANSWER TO PRAYER. Thank you, as always, for your amazing ministry.
And…if I may add to your post, let your sisters and brothers in Christ who appreciate you and your ministry, your vulnerability, and your ability to speak truth and encouragement into our lives, encourage you in turn. We’re all in this together and that includes you! So, when someone or something gets you down, turn to your family in Christ (and the One of course!) to speak truth to you and help get you back up again. You are loved by all of us and we are so very grateful you do life with us. I know we hear it so often sometimes it doesn’t register, but truly, may our Father bless you and your family this day.
Lysa,
Thank you for sharing your heart so transparently. Your honestly speaks right to my heart seemingly just when I need it the most. You are such a blessing to so many women. God is using you in mighty ways for His kingdom. Thank you for loving Jesus enough to risk being hurt.
YOU JUST KEEP GOING, GIRL!!! <3
This is so true…
I can feel offended but I don’t have to be offended.
I can feel insecure but I don’t have to act insecure.
I can feel angry but I don’t have to respond angry.
Lysa, i am new to your blog and the Proverbs 31 ministry. You already have been such an inspiration to me on a daily basis. Then, about 2 months later I had the great pleasure and honor of hearing you speak at my church on Mother’s day . You are like a friend sitting across the table having coffee. Your words are honest and come from a place of love and humility. Please know for every negative feeling there are thousands of us who appreciate you and feel enriched by what God has called you to do ever so gracefully and selflessly. I will continue to pray for you and for those who have not shown you grace coming from their places of hurt.
Lysa and the entire team,
Finding you online 2 years ago has opened a world of community I needed while in my “dark night of the soul”. Whatever calling God has for you, please stay true to it. God will take care of you, your family, and your team.
Psalm 27:3
I have gone through a similar situation but with the threat of removing my child from the home based on lies. God vindicated me and my family, and I AM CONFIDENT that he will vindicate you for the sake of His Name.
With my love as I can convey through online media.
Debi
I have felt the same way! I hope it can respond the way you did! Thanks for sharing!
You are such an inspiration and a wonderful role model for us, Lysa. I feel your pain and want you to know that I truly love and admire you, dear sister in Christ. Keep fighting the good fight for our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. We are all here for you and lift you up in prayer.
I just love you. You’re one special lady!
Lysa, you inspire me in ways that words can’t express. Keep pouring your heart out there because there are people that NEED you and need to hear your experiences. 🙂
Lysa,
For the last two years you have been an enormous blessing in my life. I have learned so many things from you. Things that I will always treasure in my heart. Things that have helped me grow. Whenever I am talking to a friend that needs comfort or advice I always turn to your posts and I always find the words they need. God has spoken to me through you so many times. Thank you so much for all you do. Thank you for being brave and for encourage others as well. But most of all thank you for sharing with us the love of God in your life.
You did another right thing. You told us about it. Not many things can beat the support and encouragement from others. We all do care. We do support you. And you have been an incredible blessing to us.
I’m sitting in that parking lot with you! So understand where you’re coming from. My life context comes from being a Pastor’s wife, leader in ministry as our Denom’s Women’s Ministry Director, Mom, VBS, Praise Band, etc… Letting God clean my wounds takes time. I’d rather build up a wall of self-protection, but that’s not what He tells me is best. He wants me approachable but not a door mat, flexible, patient, real but not raw, discerning but not unwise/un-cautious. Over time my hurt lessens and I can be open & more trusting again to risk stepping out on the limb.
Lysa,
I love love loveeeee EVERYTHING you share with us!! On here, on Instagram, in the many books I’ve read of yours….
You are such an encourager & an encouragement!!!
You’re honest & real & raw & right!!!
You’re sincere & kind & compassionate & caring!!!
And you share God’s truths in a way that so so sooooo many of us can relate!!
Praying that you are OVERWHELMED with so many messages of love & encouragement, that you quickly ‘recover’ from the hurtful words of others.
With love & thanks for your authenticity!!
~ Jennifer
Hi Lysa,
Please don’t be discouraged. In mine and so many other women’s opinions here, you are a God sent woman with the gift and the mission of teaching, encouraging and relating to women. I googled the word encouragement one day, at work, having the kind of day you had in the target parking lot, and happened upon the Proverbs 31 website. That was two years ago, and I read it every morning before my work day begins. You have inspired me with the word. You have taught me. You have made me laugh out loud as sisters in Christ with your humor that is sooo on time. I am thankful for you and the Proverbs 31 ministries. I sincerely thank you for being a messenger of God. I thank God you’re there for all us women to have the same types of goals, God, family, relationships, the desire to make a difference in the lives of others. We all need you. We all NEED people like you. Thank you for all you. You’ve made a difference in my life. You have my unconditional love and support!!!! You Go Girl!
Lysa, you have a way of putting into words exactly how I am feeling. Thank you for your insight. I have so much to learn from you. Please feel encouraged to post your prayers because you have a wonderful heart.
Lysa, thank you for always being so real-life. I can’t even begin to tell you what an impact your books and speaking have had on my life. Although I don’t know what hurtful things were said about you, I can most certainly tell you from personal experience that God is using you to change lives. Thank you for being you!
I’m so thankful for you and Proverbs 31 Ministies. One of the highlights of my day is reading my email from Proverb 31. The one bad thing about the weekend is we don’t get the email from Proverbs 31
Thank you for your daily words of encouragement on Facebook. I love reading your posts and gleaning inspiration and hope. I love that you are real, I can so identify with your posts because you truly share from your heart. Lifting your ministry in prayer <3
I have recently found your books and your blog and I have been so encouraged by your ministry. God has really used your “realness” about living the Christian life as a woman and a mother to encourage my heart. Even this blog is truly just what I needed to read tonight because I am also dealing with hurtful words that have been playing over in my mind. It is easy to see Jesus in you, not because you come across as perfect, but because you come across as a real woman who recognizes just what Jesus has done for you by His grace! Thank you!
Thank you for being you! Your words are always inspiring to me. I thank God for always sending me your words at just the right time. Thank you again!
Thank you Lysa for your openness and sharing your heart to all of us. I really need to hear this.
May God bless your ministry!
Lysa, words of wisdom filled with the Holy Spirit! Thank you!
Dear Lysa, I read your post and was nodding my head in unison with you. Been there. Done that. Right today and yesterday, actually. Living authentically in Christ and aspiring to Live UP to Him is threatening to many. I saw a text from the corner of my eye and realized someone close to me was rebuffing me again, only this time after is spent much money to arrange to see her, and ten days before I was to travel (we had been planning this for at least two months). Praise God that you can peel off the sludge of criticism and see the open wounds. You are acting in love applying the salve that is so badly needed in our hurting world. I send prayers to you. Your ministry is changing my life-it comes at a time where I, too, had decided to Live my Craving in Him and nothing else. You write so eloquently, yet with panache and transparency. I am one person, but there are many ‘one person’s’ out here for whom you are setting a fine, glorious example. We Jesus girls can live boldly because the kingdom needs our witness. You just continue right on doing what you have been called to do, and it is the most vocal of those naysayers who will be quietly looking to you…and you will show them God’s love. Thanks for taking such a hard topic and for putting it “out there”. Your Sister in Ohio
“Hurt people hurt people.”
Thank you for this reminder. 🙂
Lysa,
We love you because you aren’t afraid to share the truth, flaws and all. Thanks for being you and for your ministry. This story is close to home as I am currently putting myself out in the public. Thanks for the encouragement!
I totally needed this today. Yesterday (or this morning? kind of running together days here in this summer) I was convicted that I am a horrible model of handling emotions for my children. And yet i was all of today, too. So thank you again for really pounding God’s point in my heart (without pounding it too severely).
Let me tell you how much Unglued devotional (I haven’t even read the whole book!) has changed me. Not every day but little by little God has been using that for almost a year now to change my harsh attitude. Thank you so much for putting yourself out there. God knew I needed your words.
Thank you for putting yourself out there and sharing, with strangers, your experiences, struggles and insight on being a Mom. Very often I read your posts and find myself very emotional. It is such a relief to know that I am not the only one who struggles with everyday life as a busy Mom. The bonus is that you also share your wonderful and God focused advice with all of us. Please know you are making a difference in my life and you are appreciated!
I cannot say how much your life experiences with God pour over into my life but I do say thank you to God that I am not alone in all that I go through. You are an inspiration & exhortation to me. I needed this reminder as I was beginning to look at the waves. Thank you for your willingness to be real with the world. God bless.
Hi Lysa thank you for sharing this. Really it is a reminder and great encouragement for me. The wonderful thing I noticed is that not become wounded by those hurtful things and having compassion to it. It is the devil who is working behind those things. He should not conquer us. The pain maybe more. But the truth is that our lord will be there with us in such situations. Your experiences and your attitude are giving great inspiration to lead a godly life. Thank you so much….
Lisa,
Your honesty is exactly what my heart amd mind need! Many times, as a new andold Christian, i struggle so much with putting myself out there. Afraid others won’t like me or worse think I’m not a good enough Christian! Your words touch me, your own struggles give me hope in this incredible love of Christ! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your life with us all!! You give me such courage and insight of truly what it means to live my life in Christ!!
Many Blessings and Mahalo Nui Loa!
Isn’t it amazing how our Father in Heaven can produce wonderful things out of crazy hurtful experiences? Press further into Him, seeking your lesson in this experience and asking for His strength & peace to fill you up and help you move forward into doing that next small thing. Do remember that this is one of satan’s many attempts to attack you. Keep him well aware that you are the child of a Mighty King Who provides and protects you and satan will not win this battle. Pray for the lives of the people that satan is using to get to you, pray for God to heal their pains.
Thank you for not allowing satan’s attack to pull you away from helping others but allowing it to move you to share your heart’s hurt in raw form. I appreciate you!!
I am sorry that people have hurt you, in words that should have never been spoken. I am praying for YOU, as you have been so helpful to others, now we need to be helpful to YOU! I pray for you as I speak. My cousin and I love your blog. Know that you are helpful and speak to us with God’s voice. The weak and ignorant will often lash out. God’s LOVE will make you strong./ We love you too!
God’s Grace at this difficult time,
Tracey
wow such great wisdom! thank you for this insight. just hope I can remember it! Now I know what I’m afraid of and why I don’t want to be vulnerable. I get misunderstood a lot. and my communication skills are not the greatest either. I say things mixed up. I am so glad a friend had me like Proverbs 31 on Facebook. so many great articles. I am thoroughly enjoying it. Thanks for sharing with them too.
I just lost my husband and his ex is trying to destroy me right now in horrible ways. What helps me the most is to remember this is a spiritual battle. Satan is trying to destroy me when I’m weak and using her as a pawn. I choose immediately to forgive her every time she tries something new. I pray for her and treat her in love. I understand forgiveness is to give me freedom and no longer allow the hurtful things she does or says to control me. This hasn’t always been the way I’ve responded but God had been so amazingly wonderful during this time of grief that I can’t help but see the spiritual side of this person trying to destroy me. She is God’s creation as well so the way I respond to her may be a seed planted that will eventually bring her to Christ.
Thank you for this posting! You are so right–hurt people hurt people. You’ve shed new light for me on this! The way you’ve handled this so beautifully shows your heart is in the right place. May He always be your strength and your song!
I feel so blessed having been able to read this specific title and topic about Forgiveness. I had my share of the same bad experience of getting hurt by words which stirred up my emotions and feel hurt that unfortunately caused me to fire back. And truly I have found that my actions weren’t the answer to my confusion and that it never gave me the “joy of getting even” neither. In fact it just made everything become worse and I came to a point where in I badly sought for PEACE.
Thank you so much that through this, makes it all easy to forgive and let go of that hurtful emotion even when I did feel really hurt. Thank you that from now on I need to let all the reasons of God’s LOVE to guide my humanly triggered feelings that despite of how unpleasant those words were, I knew in my heart that I need to discern better on how to handle these situations!
Thank you for teaching me the real truth about being strong and the strength that can only come from Him up there.
This is just a wonderful blessing!
Thank you and to God be the Glory!
God Bless Always.
– Hazel
Thank you for your words today I have needed them. Be assured God does work through you for his plans and purposes even as far away as glasgow. I read your devotional just after a massive row with my youngest daughter who said some hurtful things. It gave me peace and the assurance of doing the right thing in love. God is in I all. Thank you x
So very wise. Well done. =D
I cannot tell you how many times I have read one of your devotionals or Facebook posts and said, ‘Wow!’ because it spoke directly to my life. The Lord uses your posts to impact my life, my parenting, my marriage…Thank you for being vulnerable and taking the criticism so that people like me can be impacted!
“Love can empower me to feel hurt without becoming a person consumed by that hurt…” Oh, to navigate the dance of being authentic and allowing yourself to grieve without being consumed by the issues… As I have become consumed by them, they almost become idols in my life, demanding my every thought. Thank you for putting yourself out there, in your calling and in this specific post. Many, many relate to you, dear one. Love in Christ to you – may you be overwhelmed by His delight for you over and over again. Thank goodness we find our identity in what Christ has done for us on the cross and not in people’s opinions of us. Thank goodness…
Thank you for ALL you do! I am so sorry for the hurtfullness of others. You are helping so many in the love of Christ. May The Lord strenthen you and comfort you. You are doing the right thing!
Blessings <3
Truly, God speaking to me through you Lysa. I have been hurting for some days because of some unkind discussions about me on a group chat online. ( a friend showed me too). So ugly, whatever truth there is in there so twisted that it turns me into a monster to anyone who hears it. Thank you. Will try your heaven-inspired steps.
Thank you for sharing your heart. Your blog gave me the answer to a situation I have been walking through that I didn’t have an answer for. It’s true that love is the greatest weapon we have against our adversary. Lysa keep working for The Lord. There may be thorns but soon comes the rose. Have a great day!
When I read todays’s post I immediately thought of Genesis 50:20 “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” It’s a tough calling that is upon your life but, you’re making such a huge impact into eternity! So many women read your books are part of P31 & P31 OBS. Your impact in the kingdom of God is huge. It’s as is you have handed every single one of us your personalized, highlighted Bible. Sing for praise that the enemy is so scared of you that he tried to hurt you & discourage you. Lysa, you are a Jesus filled girl & no one will ever take that away from you.
We will suffer and be insulted as Christians. Jesus did and was…1 Peter 4:12-16
Thank you for your ministry. God has blessed me through you. Don’t let satan bring you down. I am praying for you. God bless you, sister!
Thank you for sharing. As I journey through a death in our family in which I was the caretaker, I can not tell you enough how much this ministers to me. With all the squabbling that has begun my small thing, the right way, right away… (which really is a large thing but much needed for my peace) and that is to walk away from the drama and fighting and celebrate her life and know that she is with Jesus and is at peace. Thank you for reminding me I I am free …
It never ceases to amaze me how God puts these messages to me, timed so perfectly for when He knows my heart is strong enough to take it… I still struggle with having to have to leave my significant other. I beat myself up over it time and time again, only to be reminded by Him that I am merely human and I have to forgive.. myself. I had asked God for the answer to our problems in our relationship, and although I didn’t like His answer, I obeyed. I had to walk away. That was in January; I haven’t seen or spoken with him since. Maybe there will be a day when I will come face to face with him again, but until then, I will continue to become stronger in Christ so that I will be able to handle it. Thank you for your messages, Lysa. And thank You, God, for Lysa❤
Thank you so much for all you do Lysa. I relate to so many of your writings and God has used you to help me in many situations. This one in particular I definitely relate to. I have been so hurt by some of the things that have been written about me, my family and even my church in the past 2 years. In fact I no longer do Facebook because of some hurtful attacks that I tend to react badly to. So thank you so much for your encouraging words. May God continue to bless you.
I didn’t become a Christian until I was in my 40’s. Before that my life was only about survival. Just getting through this life by any means necessary. I thought that following the teachings of Christ would give me freedom from my past and all that entails. But I have two family members that will just not let my past go. I asked God “why do these two people still evoke such negative emotions in me?” He gave me a picture, I’m standing fists up facing the enemy my back to the cross and every single arrow the enemy shoots is hitting me directly in the heart. I FEEL every. single. arrow and I’m thinking as I see this picture “but Father, I am standing at the cross doing battle why is everything the enemy throwing at me hitting “”home?”” He then gave me another picture. Me face down with my head at the foot of the cross my hands laid upon it. And every. single. arrow. the enemy was shooting hitting the cross and blood pouring down from it covering me. I didn’t understand fully what Jesus had done for us until those “pictures” were given to me. The love it took for Him to take ALL our past upon Himself is still beyond my ability to use language to describe. But this I know. We are to be conformed into His image, become Christlike, that includes the cross. So “when you have troubles” and you respond by covering someones transgression with the love of Jesus count it all joy that YOU ARE conformed into HIS image.
I love your willingness to expose your very self to help other believers. You give hope and peace to many who struggle and I know our Father is VERY proud of you. I can almost hear Him say ” well done good and faithful servant”!
Love you my sister in Christ.
I needed this this morning as I sort through the events of the last few days. A misunderstanding between my future daughter-in-law and I and her mother screaming at me in the phone has left me reeling; I am very much not a screamer as I let my gentleness be evidence of my life with Christ. In my rattled state I had a lot of choices to make – to blame someone else, to get pout y, to tell my mother and mother-in-law whom I know would both make sure revenge was executed, OR to remember why I have loved this girl from the moment my son brought her home to meet us, and to remember that her and her mother come from very broken places and my offer of grace in this situation could be pivotal in their healing journey. I was having a hard time letting go of the wound last night and asked God to ‘do something’; He knows how much I don’t like carrying anger around so He gave me a picture in my mind of a thief rummaging through my stuff looking for something to steel. This morning He gave me this blog. Keep letting your gentleness be evident to all Lysa. May the Lord bless you and your family as you continue to bless others in this ministry.
Such vulnerability and truth you’ve shared here today, Lysa. These types of situations can get so sticky, and it’s hard to know what to do when they arise. To be honest about our feelings but to remember not to react out of those feelings is a good place to start. I receive such encouragement by you sharing about your “real life” experiences. It’s good to know we’re all in this together!
Wow!!! I thought I was the only one when church people hurt you!! Wow! What a revelation!
Thank you for the encouraging words.i have been stalked by sociopaths for over 5 years…i moved across 4 states and was found again. It amazes me the social deviants I encounter daily because of this. But i believe God has a plan, a plan to use this situation as an example, to lobby for stricter internet laws, and to help others who are going through similar situations.
I received the notification on my phone late last night from fb. “Proverbs 31 Ministries share a link. 11:20 pm” I had had a rough day and before my eyes closed, I determined to read something positive so my morning would be positive. I was unsuccessful. Sleep won.
I woke up, briefly browsed through my devo and went about my day. It’s almost afternoon by now and I had forgotten, there was something that caught my eye last night. The picture on fb that above read “Love can empower me to feel hurt without becoming a person consumed by that hurt… ”
This morning before I got into work, that was me. It wasn’t a Target parking lot. It was the parking lot of my job. Sobs. Hurt. Brokenness… for the sake of LOVE.
Read this blog… more sobs. Closed eyes as I ask God, yet again… “Why do you keep telling me to love? Love always leads me here. My reckless loves leaves me in anguish of constantly trying to live out Your will in my life. Lord, how much more?”
I admit, my I’m not content with the answer; the answer the Bible teaches me. Not today, at least.
Lysa, your words read the script of my soul. I am so weary in the fight of reckless love. Your words explained me to me. I’m going to keep fighting as my journey to love isn’t over, but I am weary. So very weary. I’m praying you feel validated in Christ; because you ARE. Would you pray for mine too?
Fan of your life,
Monica
oh Lysa
Don’t ever lose your gift to be real! We all know you are not perfect
(none of us are) but we love you anyway! I don’t tweet,facebook,or blog,so I don’t
know what was said, but ya know us Jesus girls can turn it around for Good!
God is AWESOME!
Amy C
For what it is worth-and because I have no huge answers for you Lysa-a Great Big Cyber HUG!!! You are perfect just as you are-God made you and I, and He doesn’t make ugly junk. Having been on the receiving end of hurtful things, and words, I can honestly say that doing something for someone else helps me a lot. And knowing that God loves me-all of me-every day, every way-and always has, always will, makes me feel much better about the less than smooth days I have, or the unkindness of people. You keep on being you. God will loving change anything He thinks need to be changed-nothing else matters. I love you just as you are.
Lisa:
Keep doing what you do. It is your imperfect life an open heart that helps others. You have been so helpful to me and I look for your post daily. Many days you hit just on the issue I am having so know that the Holy Spirit is working through you.
Lysa-
Your honesty is what draws me to you!
You make me laugh and cry!
Your writing has helped me tremendously and I appreciate the work you do!
What would we do without our sisters in Christ??
Keep up the Good work 🙂
Thank you for your post Lysa. I’ve heard it said many times, and I completely agree, “If you aren’t being attacked, then you aren’t doing much for God.” Satan doesn’t need to mess with us if we’re already on his side, or if we aren’t standing up for God. I just want you to know that what you’re doing matters, and you have obviously touched the hearts and lives of many of us out here in cyberspace and the book-world. I first heard about you when my small group decided to read your book Unglued (which I loved), and then I saw you speak at Women of Faith in California, and then I read Made to Crave and the Made to Crave Action Plan. (Fyi…I’m feeling so much better and am continuing to make healthy life-style choices that are benefiting my entire family, and I’m down over 30 pounds since doing the online Bible Study in January…even though the number on the scale doesn’t really matter to me…I just wanted you to know it’s working!!!) I have recommended your book to so many of my friends and family when they ask what in the world I’m doing. Thanks for being willing to live in a glass house, and be transparent, and to take the punches that will always come when you’re doing something important. Count it all as joy! Hugs!!
Lysa,
I know all to well what it feels like to be misunderstood and a target for unpleasantness. It took me a very long time to understand that these people were projecting their feelings onto me, and that for whatever reason I was an easy target. While it took time, God loved me enough to keep encouraging me to forgive them for my sake…not theirs. That was the key….God’s love. It is all encompassing and so magnificent. I wish I you had never seen those unkind words. Whatever was said was not really about you, but the posters issues and you were an easy target. What these folks do not understand though…is that by sharing your story we are all praying for them and you. God is at work, and Lysa you are his chosen method to reach these folks. Hallelujah!! Perhaps this uncomfortable moment will bring these people to God….and your testimony helps us all deal with issues like this with a little more grace and compassion. What someone intended for your harm, God turned around and used it for the good. Hopefully you will see this soon.
You inspire me a lot and have helped me more than you will ever know with your posts. Thank you! (((HUGS)))
Lysa, Your honesty and bravery to speak openly even with humor attached, really speaks volumes of how real your life is. Your story is an open book filled with blessings, insight, goof ups and what God has shown you through all of the situations you face, just like us. This is what attracted me to your ministry. You don’t hide behind a false image and wear a perfection mask. Women relate to you. I relate to you, because you relate to us. God dosnt necessarilly call the equipped, but He equips the called. And what satan means for evil, God intends for good. In all you do, do it for Gods glory and advancing His Kingdom. You will be rewarded in Heaven. In Him, Lisa
Lysa,
Such a timely post for me! Some ugly words have been sent my way lately and I have been so so struggling. Feeling like a failure, etc. Good post and reminder to pray and just do the next thing. 🙂
To add to the above post, I want you to know that because of you, I now know I’m not crazy and that I’m not alone. I’m Surprised that when I turn to your advise, I see someone who is like me. You are an inspiration to me. I really want to write a christian devotional but have no idea how to go about making that dream a reality. I love what you stand for. I will continue to pray for your strength and your family, and ministry. In Him, Lisa
I won’t repeat the wonderful posts you have already received, but had to post (my first time) to let you know how timely this is for me as I walk out a season with the Lord. False accusations are painful. Friendly fire from other believers, even leadership, intensifies the pain. Eyes off people. Eyes on The Lord. We serve One and touch many. Try not to dwell on the whys and surrender it to the only One fit to instill justice and provide explanation. His ways are higher than ours. Relinquish the hold and allow Him to do a work in You. Allow yourself the privilege of walking thru this painful season and see what the Lord will do! fight the urge to hold onto the fiery arrows of words. Beth Moore once spoke that when people speak/write potent words over us, it takes Gods omnipotent words to heal. You know what He says about you, who you are in Christ, and what He has set in your hands to do and positioned you to do it. Prov 31 is amazing and relevant and has already effected change to the world as you have obeyed the calling and trusted the direction He set you in. Keep the Kingdom vision and just watch Him move on your behalf! Fight the urge to pick it back up….lay it down and stand in faith! We may never know why, but we can be Kingdom-focused and pray for those who persecute us…it is, in essence, how you can love them! Love your words about feelings versus actions not taken. These responses are ministering to me greatly. Thank you, Sister, for your transparency. Your heart is right where He wants it obviously. We can overcome because He overcame! Blessings on ya!
Lysa,
I love reading everything you write. You put it all out there and that is exactly why so many of us connect with you. I love the way that you break things down and the way you think through them – that is encouragement to me. When my mom was alive, she used to tell me when something big was about to happen, that is when the enemy of our soul will try the hardest to do the most damage to cause us to stumble – in order to steal from us – our peace, our self control, etc. She would tell me that in those moments, that is when we have to stand firm with everything in us and not cave to the pressure of our emotions. In your situation in the Target parking lot, Victory had your name written all over it!! You overcame that obstacle in your heart because you purposed in your heart to act exactly how God wanted you to. I know that He is so proud of you. In reading your post, my heart broke for yours, but, I have to tell you that while my approval certainly isn’t necessary, I’m proud of you, too! Go girl!! I know that people can be hurtful – just remember that even when they, themselves, don’t realize it, people can be tools that are used in an attempt to bring harm. Our war is not with flesh and blood. Sometimes, when we see evidence that has been written by flesh and blood, that is hard to remember and keep in perspective. The devil is a liar. He doesn’t win – YOU DO!! You aren’t just a conqueror, Lysa – you are MORE than a conqueror! God is the strength of your heart and Jesus will always be enough. I hope that you see how very much you are loved by those of us that have never met you, but, feel that we know you just the same.
Lysa,
Thanks for a timely written post! Lately I’ve had feelings of inadequacy, stupidity, etc. at work. Wasn’t sure what to do except pray–but the feelings come often.
Your post hit me square in the eyes. My feelings often get the best of me and I just want to let it out. Thank you for telling me some truths about them.
I can feel offended but I don’t have to be offended.
I can feel insecure but I don’t have to act insecure.
I can feel angry but I don’t have to respond angry.
Finally–for telling me no matter what happens I should just “do the next small thing, the right way, right away.” and again “We can feel afraid but we don’t have to be afraid to do the right thing, right away.”
I will be able to go to my job with better attitude and know that God will take care of my problems!
Blessings 🙂
Lysa,
Thank you so much for sharing your vulnerability. It made me stop and feel my hurt feelings too.
My dear friend, mentor and coach has had a difficult time in our conversations lately. Her tone was authoritative, brutal and unkind. Because she has had such value in my life, I would try my best to listen and not take offense.
Yesterday, I called her and made an awkward attempt to have a conversation. Granted that she told me she was tired, Suddenly she snapped, “I can’t do this anymore. Post pictures and have a great trip.” I was left to say as cheerfully as I could, ok you take care of yourself.
I had a couple of feelings, which I am exploring right now. I felt hurt and abandoned and on the other hand I felt relieved. It does not feel good when people don’t feel good about me. It does not even matter who was right or wrong.
The point for me today is, can I accept people where they are? Can I not take the rejection personally when it feels extremely personal? The first choice was made for me that our interaction had ended. However, I can make the choice how I am going to respond to this situation. I can just breathe and allow my feelings to wash over me and in time, it will all make sense.
I say to myself sometimes when I know people are talking about me. “what they say about me is none of my business” I know who I am and what my intentions are. I never mean to hurt anyone. I like what you said about their comments are coming from a place of hurt. That is so true and a great way to look at things when you don’t know what to do.
Lysa,
The title of this post is perfect and your suggestion is wise. The sense that there is no way to resolve a situation is heavy as we run different actions (all of which can come from a loving place) through our minds and try to weigh them with Word and Spirit. Act in love is always the right answer, but how, SPECIFICALLY, in this particular situation can be difficult to discern. Love. It is so simple and so complex. I appreciate your transparency, as you wrestle with your loving walk in a way that leaves you vulnerable to criticism. I appreciate the reminder that even loving, clearly fabulous and mature women such as yourself, struggle with the complexities that sometimes come with seeking to always be guided by love… regardless of our hurt (or enthusiasm or any other emotion.) Thank you for your courage, vulnerability and wisdom. May God heap blessings upon you that you may continue to bless others – and may the blessing of the lessons you are learning now be a powerful part of that, as well… that good may come from evil and that God may in all things be glorified. With love…
I am so sorry Lisa! I recently completed your Crave study online & I found you to be authentic, vulnerable, Godly. And so encouraging and having a heart for women and their struggles. I hope that the scripture verse we struggle not against flesh and blood but… …. helps a bit in taking the sting out of the hurtful comments. I believe Satan used these people to attack you because he sees your influence for the kingdom way too strong. Blessings on you,
Tacey Jones
Thank you Lysa,
So much truth wrapped up in God’s loving grace and focused on Him.
I have felt like that. I’ve cried tears that felt like they would never stop.
But I’ve also come to the conclusion that focusing on their hurts soften
my heart to be compassionate and forgiving as Jesus is. Also, I learned
to have healthy boundaries of safety to not get tangled up in negative
situations like I used to. I used to have a problem with wanting to please
the people who would hurt me and taking the whole blame of the situation.
But now I realize things with clarity and focus on acknowledging the hurt
and focusing on receiving the healing from Christ. And because my situation
was complicated, I’ve taken time off from been in certain situations and places
till I am ready to face it with Grace and Mercy. I have hope to some day rejoin
fellowship and not be so afraid of trusting again. But for now it’s pretty hard
since I have three heavy issues that are taking long to get healing and freedom
from. But Jesus never gives up on me, He continues to heal, redeem, refine and
restore to Himself. To be who I am in Christ.
I am so grateful for how you share from the heart. And are brave in the face of
risk and keep on choosing to be loving in Christ. It really encourages me so much.
And from some of the wonderfully heartfelt and graciously wise responses I read
from other readers. I feel encouraged even more.
I just want to say I will be one of those in the long, long, LONG line in Heaven waiting to get a chance to meet you and thank you for the impact you have made on my life and the women I “do life” with.
Wow, Lysa, that’s TOUGH! But you are handling it WELL!
I am praying for you!
Thank You, Thank You, Thank You for all that you do. Your words are always an encouragement. I think about your words often when the world is pressing down on me and when at times I come unglued and maybe a little unhinged also.
You are a blessing please believe that. Thank You again.
Lysa, you have influenced me in many ways. Your transparency is a gift and for the one hurtful comment by one hurting soul are thousands of us who admire you and are impacted by your honesty about your imperfections. You give us courage to live life imperfectly as we serve our perfect God.
Lysa,
Thank you for your courageous ministry. Every day you step out into the public and risk so very much for the sake of the Gospel and so many of us–you make that target on your heart, life, and family a little bit bigger. You have touched my life in ways I can’t even begin to tell you–as a mom, wife, pastor’s wife, women’s ministry coordinator, teacher, and friend.
Thank you for using a time of sincere hurt to encourage us to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith.
I am praying for you today; I’m praying for protection, continued courage, and sweet comfort and strength from our precious Holy Spirit.
Just wanted to share that your post helped me in a different application. I have a difficult child who exhausts me (adopted with FASD) and I can’t believe how ugly and exasperated I get with him and I hate myself for it! I KNOW so much of what he says and doesn’t isn’t his fault – it’s his disability but my weak flesh just gets so irritated and then I feel so small and guilty…
SO, the next time I’m tempted to jump all over him, I’m going to focus on saying one small nice thing, the right away, right way! Please pray for me to be a healing force in his life. Thank you for being a powerful encouragement in mine! God bless.
This very morning I was reading in 1 Thessalonians and learning that Paul came to them from being beaten for his faith. Yet he did the next right thing, just as you say to do. He still loved and preached to the Thessalonians. I took encouragement (and maybe you have already too) that we as Christians are beaten up, but we keep on doing the right thing, and keep trusting and loving while being a whole lot of honest with God that it hurts sometimes so very much. God bless you Lysa. Your fellow sister in Christ, Lisa.
Dear Lysa- Words are not enough to express how grateful I am to you and all the women at Prov 31 ministries, who have step out of your comfort zones and out onto the water, in Faith, in obedience and in Love! God’s word is surely written in your hearts as you share true life stories about yourselves and others!! It takes a very courageous and brave soul to put yourself out into the line of fire!! Thank you for ALL you do and I’m praying a double hedge of protection around you to protect and shield you from the fiery darts of Satan!! I pray that no weapon formed against you will prosper!! And I pray that our Abba Father will Bless you and keep you and give you the Peace that passeth ALL understanding as you selflessly give of yourself unto others in the Name of Our Sweet and Powerful Lord Jesus!!!! Your sister in Christ- Melanie
Lysa,
I’m so sorry about the hurt you have experienced through social media as described in your incourage posting. Just wanted to ENcourage you about how very much you have helped — and continue to help — a great many Christian women with your writing. Thank you for your courage in sharing your Christian walk and insights with others: your words are invaluable! God bless and keep you, and give you of His peace.
Thank you, Lysa. Such a timely post for me. I recently decided to write a letter to my mother sharing with her a pain that I’ve carried inside for a long time. She responded to the letter viscerally, and I was heartbroken. She was the source of that pain I wrote about, so I guess she couldn’t see past her own defensive feelings to be gentle with mine. Now my struggle is to go in peace without hating the woman who gave birth to me.
My mother went on to discuss the situation with my sister instead of working it out with me, and of course, my sister heard the worst of the conflict. My sister has now become estranged from me, and my mother’s OK with it. I feel judged and defective sometimes, unworthy of unconditional love and not allowed to feel pain because it destroys the illusion of a loving family. I love this sentence that you wrote and will keep it in mind as I go forward: “Love can empower me to feel hurt without becoming consumed by that hurt.”
Thank you!!
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Thank you for a very heartfelt, honest article. And thanks for being real. Dealing with some of the worst hurt in my life as a result of consequences of my own actions many years ago. Hurt on my children that I had prayed and prayed and prayed to go away. They are just now starting to deal with it, and very angrily as a result of their father’s (my ex) revenge and quest to destroy me. How do I deal with that? When sorry is not enough, what do I say? How do I respond? I’m praying 24/7 for God’s direction but I feel so lost and all I can do is cry…. God please help my children…
Lysa,
I am blessed almost every day by your ministry. Sometimes if I wake up in the middle of the night with one of my kids or on my own, I will check my email just to see if the next day’s email is there yet! God is using you in amazing ways.
Thank you for sharing your life with so many women who need it !
Dear Lisa, I am so sorry this happened! I have been in ministry full time for 20 years and have learned you can’t please all the people all the time. Sadly, it hurts even more when we are mistreated, misjudged, etc. by believers. I guess we expect more from the body of Christ! I like your idea that maybe their criticism is coming from their hurt and having compassion. I have learned that to be true and have taught my fourth graders over the years to look at it that way and that you may even become good friends with a person who has unjustly attacked you. (It often comes from their insecurity, I believe!). It always comforts me to remember that the Lord knows my heart and He is the one who ultimately matters! I also make it a game to win that person(s) over by being so, so nice to them and praying for them! Takes time, but usually works!