I knew it was coming. I had suspected it would be soon, but when the time came it still hit me hard.
The end of a job I had loved – an unexpected, yet temporary, opportunity that only God could have orchestrated.
I had numbly stared at the email pink slip when it arrived in my inbox, not really sure how to feel about something I knew was inevitable.
I casually emailed a friend about what happened and she replied simply with, “Go ahead and grieve it.”
Five simple words and yet the minute I read them the floodgates opened. It was like all I needed was permission.
I’m new to this “I matter” idea. That considering myself means accepting how I feel and not harassing myself until I get over it. These old patterns frequently threaten me. Because to me, what I lost was not significant in the scheme of life. It didn’t rank up there with losing my mother-in-law to cancer almost two years ago.
Grief always made sense to me when associated with death, but I rarely thought about its significance in dealing with life.
I’m so hurried that I often don’t take time to rest or even breathe some days, let alone grieve my losses.
But endings are meant to be grieved. And I’m finding the more I grieve losses the better I feel and the easier it is to let go.
Hurts and disappointments are not things I pursue. They aren’t usually part of my plan. But if I don’t take time to understand their impact, if I don’t allow myself to be sad over them, then they will likely stay an unhealed wound, festering under the surface until another betrayal or unmet expectation reopens the gash.
Letting go is hard, but it’s the path to trusting and leaning on God.
Too often I’d rather busy myself than sit in the quiet and ponder what I’ve lost, or pretend like everything is okay instead of shedding tears and feeling the pain of an ending.
I cannot express what a gift my friend’s words were to me that day. It felt cathartic to allow myself to be sad over the end of something I had enjoyed being part of and had hoped could continue.
Maybe you lost your job or a close friend moved far away. Maybe your daughter is rebelling or your son told you he doesn’t love Jesus anymore. Maybe your marriage is hard or being a mom isn’t what you thought it was going to be. Or you struggle with depression. Or a loved one was just diagnosed with cancer.
Whatever it is, today is the day.
Go ahead and grieve it, sweet friend. Go ahead and grieve it.Leave a Comment