Despite what people said and what I had expected, college was not the season of life where I found out who I was. It was all too easy to sign up for sorority recruitment, Bible studies, and all the other offerings campus extended. It’s taken most of my twenties to unravel who I am underneath.
The steady approach of thirty, marriage, baby fever and a call to back away from status updates — all these are working together to figure out what’s inside. Many days the findings are scary, unpredictable, and messy.
Still, I want to find brave in here, in this twenty-seven-year-old chest. I want to find courage and passion and calling. In some ways I am brave, but it feels a lot more like Full Of Fear than FearLess. And it looks a lot more like uncertainty and hormones than self-assured and self-controlled.
Jesus is showing me how He shows up in my weakness, and I realize Gospel Brave is gloriously counterintuitive. Isn’t everything Gospel this way?
Maybe I’m most brave when I feel least brave because brave is just another word for Jesus and He lives inside my heart.
Maybe I’m most brave when I am the most fearful because brave is banking on Jesus for all I am and all I am not.
And if this is true, then brave is not a volume to validate my life’s influence or effectiveness. Brave is a Victor. Brave is a valiant God who claimed my heart for His home.
Yes, sometimes it takes courage to be silent and listen.
I can be courageously quiet because I know He can work when all is silent and dark. Maybe when I live quietly or when no one seems to be noticing or when they seem to disapprove, He is giving me the privilege of living my heart’s cry for an Audience of One.
Maybe there’s no other way to test my life than to have to live the answer to that prayer.
He alone fills up the gargantuan auditorium that is my soul. Where all the watching eyes in all the world could never fill me to maximum capacity or roar with loud enough applause, His eyes of Love pack the house, mark the door, and the Father gives me the standing ovation earned by Jesus alone.
I get Jesus. He is enough.
If anyone else is watching, it’s from the overflow room. And if they get Jesus — glory.
This Is Brave
Not that we feel invincible, but that we do the next thing especially when we know that we are not invincible.
Not that our brave music playlist pumps up the blood, but that the blood of Jesus made a way for us to live in His bravado — powerful, real, and really ours.
Not that this is our best day, but that this is the worst and we have not given up because Jesus has not given up on us. We can be true to who we really are knowing He will be true to who He really is — the Great I AM.
Not that the world needs us, but that the world needs all the ways Jesus comes out of our truest selves.
Our emotions may not lend their aid to the task at hand, but we can obey no matter what our feelings say because He who calls us is faithful.
He will surely do it.
Today we may not feel brave. But we will obey regardless.
And the world will be different because we are bravely alive.Leave a Comment