I’m teaching the importance of words. I hope my kids learn this. But first I have to learn it myself and these lessons are hard learned.
Words matter.
The things we speak to each other frame the content of our lives. The things we speak to ourselves determine what we believe.
So I teach my children God is good. His word is good.
I teach them to usher in praise when the world seems to crumble and groan and stretch in anguish. I teach them that every broken thing cries out for redemption and there is but one Redeemer. I let them see me cry when injustice rolls across my news feed and my life and the world, and I don’t press the tears away when my lips mumble, Lord, have mercy.
I teach them to lean in close to God, tucked right up in his presence. When she comes to me with wide eyed wonder and asks what Holocaust means because she ran up against that word in her history text, sounded it out with her brow furrowed and her finger bumping against each letter, I teach her that when we cannot bear the brokenness we start with lament. We start with grief and repentance and turning our hearts over to God. Without that, we have nothing to offer the broken and hopeless and grieved because mercy starts there. I teach her that God is close to the oppressed.
Mercy mends the broken the way justice binds truth to action.
I turn on praise songs even when my eyes are weary and tear-stained. I tell them this is not hypocrisy; this is obedience and there is a difference. Hypocrisy is born out of make believe and pretense, and there is nothing flimsy about this kind of faith. This is the faith that says Lord, I believe, help my unbelief. It’s profession, petition, and praise. I teach them in their weakness to always ask for help. It’s wise to know we need it.
So I raise my hands even when my arms are tired and the void seems so much greater than the abundance. I let them see joy and sorrow are not opposed. I turn on the music and sway my hips, grasp their hands in mine as we sing and dance and make art with colors splashed across canvas. I let them see beauty in the mess. I try to see it, too.
I let them know our God hears and answers and is close to the afflicted and the brokenhearted. I teach them about a God who knows suffering and dancing and every pristine color streaming through our window in the morning light.
When I get it all wrong, and my words come out fiery and weighted full of flesh, I say sorry first. I let them see me ask forgiveness readily and often.
My tongue stumbles some mornings when I’m ushering in praise. I pour the coffee and pray when all else fails, give me Jesus.
I teach them my need, my want, my gospel on repeat.
I teach them He is enough with every whispered prayer.
I teach the importance of words when stacks of books and crayons and the sounding out of vowels and consonants and phonics is so tedious I want to rush ahead of his stumbling lips. But I weigh my finger down and trace the words that will open his mind and someday I pray the Word of God will be planted deep and he’ll crack open the spine of his Bible and the truth will rush his soul and maybe he’ll know that every day I was offering my testimony when plodding through picture books modeling my mouth into pursed lips and great wide sounds.
I’m living wide open to the knowing. To the wonder of the mind and the power of words spoken and claimed. I’m hoping they’ll know words matter.
Truth matters. He is so good. We spoke it every day.
photo credit by lightstock
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Leave a Comment
Tawni Sattler says
Wow, beautiful!! Thank you so much for sharing. I feel like I want to print this out and carry it with me everywhere. Seriously. I might just do that. 😉
Alia Joy says
Thank you. I try to carry it with me too. In theory at least. 😉 We all need the gospel on repeat.
Victoria says
This is beautiful; it really reminds me of the verse encouraging us ‘to press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.’
It’s lovely to read how you are pressing on toward your goal, whilst still being real about the brokenness and hard times. Thank you for being so real, and at the same time keeping and sharing a high standard.
Alia Joy says
It’s such a beautiful and delicate balance to admit the pain and brokenness and humanity of it all while still believing on God to be all things. That’s why His word is so important. An ever present reminder.
Bev Duncan @ Walking Well With God says
Alia Joy,
The Lord has certainly given you a gift with words…words you speak and whisper to your children and words that you write on a page. Nothing can be so incredibly uplifting and so unbearably damaging as words. Thank you so much for a beautiful reminder of the power of our words. May we use them in all instances to bring glory to God. Thank you for such an honest and heartfelt post.
Blessings,
Bev
Alia Joy says
Yes! Let us bring glory to God in everything. So blessed by you, Bev, and your words here. You’re always here encouraging us with yours.
Marty says
“I let them see joy and sorrow are not opposed.”
And this: “I let them see beauty in the mess.”
I try to be careful with my words and I have tried to teach my children to praise God in all circumstances…but this is a great reminder to offer our testimonies in every little thing, every day. Because it’s not always easy and it’s not always our first inclination. Thank you for sharing this today. :).
Alia Joy says
Oh my goodness, yes, it’s not easy. It’s pretty much never my first inclination. Every testimony when stripped down is only ever Jesus. He is enough. So whenever I feel like my world is spinning madly, I try to remember my testimony. Jesus is enough.
Lisa Murray says
Thank you, Alia Joy, for your words. They are beautiful and tender and rich. I love the authenticity of the statement, “I’m living wide open to the knowing.” That is, for me, the most peaceful place to remain. There is tremendous freedom in releasing the need to know and in simply allowing the journey of learning and discovering to unfold in the most “messy” and beautiful ways!
Blessings,
Lisa Murray
Alia Joy says
So true. It’s so hard to release control and the need to know, isn’t it? But you’re so right, there’s so much freedom in just knowing He is God.
Donna@MoreThanHungry says
That husband of mine & I shared some “fiery words, weighted full of flesh” last night. Then we stopped talking. Ugh -the power of words spoken and unspoken. I’ve had a knot in my chest about the next conversation. Give me Jesus. He is enough. Glad I stopped over. {O}
Alia Joy says
I know all about those words. I have a sharp and fiery tongue that I’m constantly having to learn to tame. But it’s so important that while we learn restraint we also learn to make amends. To use our words to build up and reconcile and repair what was lost the first time around. Praying you’ll find the right words and know Jesus is close.
san says
I just have to say PRAISE GOD! Words beautifully written. They touched my heart and soul thank you for sharing them.
Alia Joy says
Thanks for stopping by. I’m so glad.
Kimberly says
When I think about some of the things that come out of my mouth, Oh, Lord. All I can ask for is grace. I needed this reminder today, especially as I find myself barking out orders and correcting my children with a little more starch than necessary. Thank you, Alia for unwrapping the truth in such a beautiful way.
Alia Joy says
Oh seriously. It’s always the days I’m trying to get posts up and get the kids on task with school and I’m juggling a million things and I’m reminded of what I wrote and how I’m so close to not living it even as I wrote about it. How much I need reminding of grace and gospel and kind words. Today was one of those for sure.
Susan Gruener says
I loved this. I guess it’s never too late to do better with speaking the ‘truth’ with our words. My ‘kids’ are 36, 40, and 42…and sometimes they still listen. 😉 I might do better with my 6 grandchildren (2-15)…the ‘apples of my eye’! 😉
Thanks for the great reminder and all the ‘examples’ you’ve shared!
May He continue to bless you mightily!
Alia Joy says
Nope it’s not. I still listen to my mom and I’m 36. 😉 She’s one of the wisest women I know. I hope my kids continue to listen to her as well. It’s so important to have older generations speaking into younger ones.
Ginger Harrington says
Mercy what a post. This is stunningly honest and true. This is my favorite part, “I tell them this is not hypocrisy; this is obedience and there is a difference. Hypocrisy is born out of make believe and pretense, and there is nothing flimsy about this kind of faith.” Thank you for that.
Alia Joy says
Yeah, it took me a long time to come to that place because often when I was feeling down I thought it seemed fake to worship. But now I know worship begets faith. It builds it. So when life gets hard, I praise the hardest right there. My kids have seen my faith grow with each passing word.
~Karrilee~ says
Gah… how much I love you, friend! And this gift of words that you pour out – and oh how I know it costs you… and I am ever grateful that you are willing! #InsertGushingCommentHere
Alia Joy says
Not gonna lie. Read this comment earlier today and cried. I’m so glad you always have my back and check up on me. You bless me big time, friend. Love you.
Chandra Hadfield says
I am always speechless after I read your posts. This was so beautiful. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve prayed this very prayer “This is the faith that says Lord, I believe, help my unbelief.” Thankful for your words here!
Alia Joy says
Thank you Chandra. You don’t know how much that means to me. And yes, we share that prayer. So many times. On repeat some days, the cry of my heart.
Jillie says
Oh Alia Joy…This moved me beyond words. What a gift He has given you. Your words, “When we cannot bear the brokenness we start with lament.” “Lord, have mercy.”
Of late, I have been so grieved over all that’s happening in our world. My thoughts get cloudy and I begin to worry, shed tears–what kind of a world are we leaving for our children and grandchildren!?! It has been overwhelming. And to think that it will grow darker still before the Light dawns.
But…We have Hope. And we give that Hope to the ones we love most when we reveal that even though we may feel discouragement, even despair at times, we DO also and always have The Truth before us–the eternal Truth of Christ and His Word. Yes! Words have great power, especially the words of the Lord Himself–“Fear not. I have overcome the world.”
What you are doing for your children? There is nothing greater you can do! You’re giving them wisdom and above all, Hope.
Alia Joy says
Yes, I feel that too. I am one prone to despair, it’s so important to face it with truth. That is one I cling to. He has overcome the world. Redemption awaits us. Hope.
Kathleen says
Alia, I love your line tucked up close in his presence. So true about some days I can only start the day with just “Lord have mercy and grant me Grace.”
Thank you for your post.
Alia Joy says
Oh my goodness, yes. Some days, lately a lot of days, I have to just pray for mercy. Give me Jesus.
Devon Shaver says
Thank you. For the last 6 years my kids have seen me cry more than laugh, grieve more than celebrate, hurt more than hope. This post filled me with encouragement.
Alia Joy says
That is such a hard place to be. I know it. We have seasons of grief and sorrow, but I truly believe they can exist in the midst of wild hope and even joy. I pray you find that too. Every day I’m looking for it in Him and some days are better than others so grace abounds. I’m so glad you stopped by and shared.
Beth Williams says
Alia,
Beautifully written! It is true that we must tame the tongue. Words can hurt deeply. I need to learn and work on building people up not tearing them down!
You are a blessing to your children. They should see us cry, laugh, grieve, etc. They need to understand good and evil and know the Bible! Thank you for teaching them!
Blessings 🙂
Debo says
Hi. Visiting your blog for the very 1st time and what an inspiration! Very beautiful and heart-string pulling piece. I’m at a place where my kids(aged 5-16) are constantly driving me to distraction. At times I just whisper, “help me Lord” and find a place to hide. I need His grace now more than ever before and your piece fills me with hope and encouragement. I CAN DO THIS NY HIS GRACE ALONE!!! Thank you… Will visit again.
Vera Reiley says
Alia, I READ your BLOG Today for the First time, and enjoyed everyone’s Writing Immensely, YOU are truly ‘A BlESSING’ !! Thank You GOD, for ALIA! You are Truly a Servent of GOD!!
Miriam Wert says
Thank God for you, Alia. At age 89, it was such a blessing to read your message for the first time today. My “kids” are 68 and 70, and I was not a perfect mother. But teaching them about Jesus and learning to trust Him was a great experience. My husband of 70 years was gently taken by Jesus in his sleep recently, and it was a blessing to have him go that way. My heart aches for mothers of today who do not all have the blessing of a loving husband. I am never alone even now as I sense the presence of Jesus day and night. God bless you in your writing.
Sarah says
That is soo true we all need gospel on repeat. That is just what I was thinking about the last few days.
Ema says
It is soo good to read words in plane language like this in such a time as this. I pray i am able to sing and praise God in impoverishment as u do.
Gretchen Amos says
Thank you so much. I can be my worst enemy and tell me things I would never, ever say to another human. It is a nice reminder that the enemy wants us to think we are no good but in Christ Jesus we are made whole! He loves us more than we can ever imagine and if you have been taught either by example or self taught to mistreat yourself you need to stop. Reflect on the love God has given you and you are beautiful in His eyes.