It’s the first week in December and I’m already prepared to fail at Christmas. I never complete a Jesse Tree devotional with the kids; I shop at the last minute; I rarely manage to open our home to others as much as planned before the chaos sets in, in the early days of the Christmas countdown when my intentions are oh, so good.
I’ve already given the kids my annual don’t set your expectations too high speech. Twice. It’s an integral part of my Christmas defense mechanism.
But somewhere beneath the self-imposed stress of the season—in rare moments of clarity—I know this truth: I can’t mess up Christmas because Christmas isn’t about me.
It isn’t about how well I decorate or if I figure out how to spatchcock a turkey or if we deliver baked goods to the neighbors.
It’s about Him, and that is all.
In Matthew 11:30 Jesus says, “For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light,” and I’ve never read a translation that includes the footnote “except in December.”
The challenge lies in balancing what I can manage on a perfect day with what’s acceptable: being free to attempt the first but content to settle for the second. I want to make meaningful memories with my family, for my kids to know it’s not how much I run around or spend that matters.
It’s what comes from our hearts, not our wallets, that counts.
But what does that look like?
- Keep microwave popcorn in the pantry and work through a few Christmas movies with my family, especially A Charlie Brown Christmas. If we can’t find a good evening to watch it, at least make sure the kids play with the app and we watch Linus’s monologue.
- Make a steaming bowl of wassail at least once (recipe below*).
- Invite friends over a few days in advance (this sounds logical to most people, but I’m a last-minute, fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of girl) so that I have time to clean and prepare if I can. If I can’t prep and clean, entertain anyway.
- Block off an afternoon to make simple craft gifts with my kids instead of one more exhausting day in the stores.
- Attempt a month-long, daily advent devotional—we’re destined to eventually manage it!—but no matter what, read Luke 2 (and cry over verse 19, as usual, because it deeply touches this mother’s heart).
- Season our December with a Christmas soundtrack, even if the kids get Scroogy and complain. The Little Drummer Boy will always remind me of my mother and the way her voice trilled the lyrics rum pum pum pum.
It’s not the gifts we remember, but the traditions that entwine our hearts with our memories.
Sisters, if stress already threatens your peace this December, remember that you cannot fail at Christmas because it’s not about you, it’s about Him. Slow down, take a deep breath, and make some real memories with your friends and family.
And maybe make some wassail, too!
*Holiday Wassail
1 gallon apple cider (buy the fresh kind in a plastic jug in the produce section)
1 cup light brown sugar
1 6-oz. can frozen lemonade
1 6-oz. can frozen orange juice
12 whole cloves
6 whole allspice
1 tsp. ground nutmeg
1 cinnamon stickIn a large kettle, combine cider, sugar, lemonade, and orange juice. Tie cloves and allspice into a small piece of cloth (cheesecloth works well) and add to cider. Add nutmeg and cinnamon stick; simmer gently for 20 minutes. Heat to steaming, but do not boil. Remove spice bag, discard, and serve hot. Transfer to a slow cooker and float orange or lemon slices on top for a nice presentation. Makes 30 to 35 servings.
by Dawn Camp, My Home Sweet Home
Leave a Comment
Dawn,
This Christmas perfectionist (okay recovering perfectionist) breathed a huge sigh of relief when I read the title of your post. Yay! I can’t mess up Christmas because it’s not about me. It’s the “me” part of Christmas that brings all the stress and frustration and ultimate disappointment. Jesus doesn’t really care if our homes look like a Better Homes and Gardens display ad, He wants our heart and for us to come away and spend time with Him. As I survey my totally undecorated house, I breathe and remember it’s all about Him. Oh how I needed this today!!
Blessings,
Bev
Bev, you totally nailed this: It’s the “me” part of Christmas that brings all the stress and frustration and ultimate disappointment.
It’s when I focus on everything I think I’m doing wrong that the season frustrates me.
Bev,
As you and others have said, it’s me who causes all the stress, you said you were looking at your undecorated house. You don’t mean that you will do no decorating at all, do you?
I don’t think I could be totally undecorated, and I know it’s b/c everyone else decorates. Isn’t that awful, that I let others decide how much stress I’m going to put on myself? But I do love seeing the decorations once I get them out put them where I want them.
I do try to remember our Savior’s birth also. Playing carols, getting to special services, reading Scripture, putting Christmas tracts in Christmas cards. Doing the cards does take a lot of time, but I feel it is a great way to witness to neighbors and unsaved friends and loved ones. I’m not a fast person, so the stress is always going to be there. I do wish I could get rid of it, and I have cut back on things since my kids have left the house. My husband says why not buy cookies instead of making all that work for yourself. I don’t make a lot of them, but last wk. my granddaughter and I baked cut-outs together and that made it all worth while.
I guess the stress will always be there, but then many other things are stressful also. I do want to honor my Wonderful Savior during this special season. He is the One who makes it all worth while!!
Yes! Yes! And THANK YOU!!!! Every year I am guilty of the same! And every year I am completely worn out by Christmas. This year, although not altering it but by a little, I am walking in more thanksgiving and prayer. I am finding this is a glorious time of year! These reminders are so important and serves as my reminder to keep it slow and simple!
I’ve slowed down and enjoyed this week, too. Like you said, I don’t want to be worn out by Christmas!
Your post is truly appreciated Dawn. If everyone remembered, Christmas would be more about what it is meant to be……
I’ll try to remember from now on to give a candy cane upside down, to form a “J”.
My son and I did a craft together that was simple but he really enjoyed. While he was assembling it he mentioned how he would like to take them to the Senior’s home. So now I need to make sure to follow through………
Take Care,
Penny
I forgot to mention,
Thank-you for the recipe, it sounds like it would be really good..
Penny
You’re welcome, Penny—it is good!
Perfect timing! I am so working on this so I can look forward to Christmas rather than dread it. It’s all about my Lord and the love he extended and charges us to extend in day to day life, not killing ourselves over the way we choose to celebrate the holiday. Where does one buy cheesecloth?
Cindy,
I have found cheesecloth in the baking section in the Dollar Store . You could try there or even in the grocery store.
take care,
Penny
If you do Walmart, Walmart has cheesecloth in the craft section too. This is just another location if the other two don’t have them for some reason. Joanne
I’m glad to know about the Dollar Store—I need to restock!
I nodded all the way through this post. AMEN! Trying to slow down this year and focus on what Christmas is really about.
We have actually made it through the first 5 days of both The Greatest Gift and Unwrapping the Greatest Gift with the kids. It’s reminding me to breathe and appreciate.
I really appreciate this post. I’m not a perfectionist, but just have often felt overwhelmed, and events surrounding Christmas have been tough for many years.
I’ve never forgotten a radio program many years ago that mentioned Jesus asking “Whose birthday is this? Are you giving Me gifts, or are you giving each other gifts?” So we do try to do something for someone who would not have gifts, or would be forgotten, etc. the least of these, so it can be done for Jesus. We also have a Jesus birthday cake, and sing “Happy Birthday” to Jesus.
I like the version of Luke and I cry too, and we also try to read Matthew. And yes it is about the warm memories we make with our children so they can pass it on. This is the best reminder I’ve read so far that mentions keeping Christmas simple and doable.
Blessings,
Joanne
Joanne, that’s a powerful message from the radio program. I love the idea of giving gifts to someone else, someone forgotten.
Because it isn’t about me, is why my favorite part of all we do to prepare and enjoy Christmas is the Christmas Eve service, because as busy as everyone is, for that segment of time in a beautiful candlelight service we all slow down and truly savor what the meaning of Christmas is.
AMEN!
That sounds lovely. I wish we had a Christmas Eve service.
Thank you SO much!! I stress out every year over Christmas. This year I’ve been more stressed than ever. We don’t have money to spend on gifts. My husband is seriously Ill and I have fibromyalgia with chronic pain every day. I can’t wrap my brain around Christmas this year but I’m trying to wrap my heart around it. CHRISTmas is coming and it will be here whether or not I decorate and buy gifts. I so n ended this today.
Lisa, I’m so sorry. Money stress is awful at Christmas and it seems to make us focus on what we lack instead of what we have. Bless you!
Dawn, this is perfect. I sat down to write about all my Christmas hoopla apathy yesterday and couldn’t even muster words. Christmas isn’t about me and whether I’m ready or not. Christmas is about Jesus. So this year, we may not have a tree, but it will surely make me more grateful for the tree at Easter. So much love!
Katie, if you celebrate Christmas in your heart a tree isn’t going to change that, right? The antidote to the apathy is refocusing on the meaning of it all.
There is such a peace when I remind myself of this very thing: we can’t mess up Christmas because Christmas isn’t about me. Thanks Dawn for your timely reminder. Blessings to you and your family this season.
Mindy, blessings to you and yours, too!
This Christmas is a bit different for me. It feels a little blah hum bug. Life is super stressful dealing with aging dad, good friend’s mother dying, father in hospital, work stress. Like Lisa I’m finding it hard to get Merry about Christmas.
My home will never look like Home and Gardens, my tree is “Charlie Brown” sized and it suits my hubby and I just fine. After all it is about Him and His Birthday.
Thank you for the encouraging message that I can’t mess up Christmas.
Blessings 🙂
You are so welcome, Beth. I love Charlie Brown trees. 🙂
Dawn, I never stress about Christmas and always stay focused on the real “reason for the season”….preparing my heart for the coming of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! The greatest gift we will ever receive! But even in the knowing, I have often still felt a failure by comparison to all those women I know that do it all…baking, crafting, decorating, gifts all beautifully wrapped, perfect shoppers, planners and hostesses. While I say to my children even now in their adulthood “All is well! Jesus is coming! Immanuel…our God with us!” I take my comparisons and once again set them aside. Your thoughts today tell me to stop setting them aside to come back next year, but instead to turn to my Abba Father, thank Him for the gift of His Son and offer up all my feelings of not enough. To praise Him for being the center of my life and know that He is enough and no matter how well I prepare my home for Christmas, I am focused on the more important thing… preparing my heart! A Blessed Christmas to you!
Comparison is killer, isn’t it? I pray you can put on blinders this season. 🙂
ps. Gonna try to make the wassail. Just the thought of it warms my heart!
It’s good stuff! 🙂
Dawn, this is BEAUTIFUL and exactly what this mama needed to hear. I feel like I ‘fail’ Christmas every year. I have a ‘bah humbug’ attitude because I can’t keep up with all the Pinterest Perfection moms. Thank you for this heartfelt reminder! 🙂
You are welcome, sweet friend!
“In Matthew 11:30 Jesus says, “For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light,” and I’ve never read a translation that includes the footnote “except in December.” I LOVE THIS! It’s going to have to be included on my blog somewhere!
It’s usually about this time in December when I realize my over-the-top expectations for Christmas are, once again, not going to live up to the hype in my heart. Thanks for the encouragement that it’s not about me. It’s not about doing things just so. It’s about my heart and sharing the love of the Lord with everyone. Thanks, Dawn. Many blessings to you.
I have a daughter named Sabra! Yep, it’s the hype in our heart that kills us.
Amen.
If we were perfect then He would never have needed to come. I always remind myself that Jesus hung around most with the messy-people…so I guess I fit right in.
Thank you for this reminder.
Yes! I don’t see Jesus hanging with the Pinterest-worthy crowd in his day.
Awesome post! Thank you for this great reminder! 🙂
More of Him, less of me.
Thank you for reminding us that Jesus is the reason for the season. Seeing it written is a reminder and calmed me. I will share your words with my coworkers when we exchange gifts. I prefer giving a gift to someone who really has a need. Have a peaceful and enjoyable Christmas as we celebrate the birthday of The King.
The blurb at the beginning of this really touched my heart. My mom’s birthday is the 29th and my daughter’s is the 30, and we have a separate party for each. I am blessed to work at a University which closes from the 24th till jan 2 but I still manage to go back to work completely exhausted.
Thanks for this!
Thank you!! I absolutely LOVE this!! Our beautiful messy grace filled lives simply cannot undo Christmas unless we are so frantic and irritable that our Savior is not felt nor seen. I pray we love and give thanks. Christ gave His all so we may live forever with no pain or sadness! In His glory forever! We celebrate Him no matter our circumstances!
Stefanie, you nailed it here: “Our beautiful messy grace filled lives simply cannot undo Christmas unless we are so frantic and irritable that our Savior is not felt nor seen.” I don’t want to steal my own Christmas!
Thank you of the reminder. Beautiful said…
Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Thank you, Dawn! I love this!
The best post of the Season. I shared it with all of my friends and family. Thank you and God bless.
I needed to read this. Thanks for posting. This year I decorated our house a little, but have not been able to muster the energy to put up a tree. When I confessed this to my husband, he asked, “What does the tree have to do with Christ? Are you wanting to decorate for Christ or is it just for the festivity of the season?” He helped me realize my heart was condemning me. Putting Christ as the center and focus not only of the season but of my heart helps me put everything else into perspective.
For many years, I have struggled with finding joy in Christmas. This post came at the most perfect time for me. From the bottom of my heart…thank you. You have propelled me into a different direction. Maybe this will be the year I find it.
Lori, your comment really touched me. I pray you find Jesus this Christmas.
Just saw your writings. Loved them.
I was just about to start feeling stressed but then you stopped me. Thanks, it is not about me.
As so many others have mentioned, this article is so timely! I especially liked the part where you said, even if you can’t clean everything, entertain anyway! Excuses for not being hospitable come so easily, but by giving in to those excuses we miss out on many blessings. Thanks for reminding me that my house doesn’t have to be picture-perfect; just warm and welcoming. 🙂
Wendy, parts of my house are scary, but I’ve just shut bedroom doors and opened the front door. 🙂
Well said Ladies ~> YES ~ Cellebrating ‘JESUS Birth-Day’ … IS ~ The REASON 4 ~
The Season …
(Mr. Mom;)
Well said Ladies ~> YES ~ Cellebrating ‘JESUS Birth-Day’ … IS ~ The REASON 4 ~
The Season …
(Mr. Mom;)
I loved and shared this beautiful post, Dawn, because I needed it. But I also have to tell you that I made your wassail for my son’s birthday party today and it is DELICIOUS. Thanks for the recipe!
Yay for birthday wassail! I’m making it Thursday for Christmas.