About the Author

Mary is a writer and speaker who lives for good books, spicy queso, and television marathons – but lives because of God’s grace. She writes about giving up on perfect and finding truth in unexpected places at MaryCarver.com. Mary and her husband live in Kansas City with their two daughters.

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  1. Mary,
    I’ve struggled with my weight all my life. Carbs and sweets were soothing when I was depressed. Crunchy snacks helped when I felt angry or anxious. Food was intensely soothing. Then I had to have extensive knee surgery and it took that for me to realize that my joints simply could not handle the extra weight. I felt embarrassed that it took something so drastic for me to make some changes. But, when I’ve talked to others (been brave enough to share with others), I’ve been met with “Me too.” He is mindful of our frame and He knows we are but dust.

    • It wouldn’t let me finish my reply…anyway, when we are vulnerable and share our humanity, It gives us a bridge that allows us to share not only our struggles, but our Hope that lies within. Thanks for an honest and real post this morning…
      Blessings,
      Bev

  2. Beautifully written and SO TRUE! I needed a “me too” connection when I was parenting littles. Still do as they hit their teens. I will look for ways I can be the “me too” for others. Thank you!

  3. Mary, I don’t even know where to start … this was so incredibly real and powerful on so many levels! You’re right … there’s no way we can possibly know who else is carrying the same burden, and when we take that risk and go first with our struggle, it can provide such relief and freedom to others. I often think, “What’s the worst that can happen if I share this?” Will all my hair fall out? Will my family stop loving me? Will they take away my birthday? Sure, some people might not understand, some may be critical, some may ignore it completely. But others? It might be just what they need to hear, and I might be just the one to say it. Just as you have done so bravely today. Thank you so much!

    • Lois, I’m so glad this encouraged you. I think those things, too – but the gift of going first, of being the one to be honest about what’s REAL, can be so worth it!

  4. Two small words. So powerful. I have found that shame lives in darkness and to be vulnerable with a friend who replies, “I get that,” or as you say, “me too,” just takes all the power of shame away. Authentic relationships, so powerful but hard to find.

  5. Hi Mary,
    Kudos to the woman at your WW meeting that confessed to eating a large pizza all by herself. That took real bravery and turned out it was a relief to her and to all of you to be able to say “me, too.” I’ve eaten many Haagen Dazs pints in my lifetime, too many. 🙂 Thanks for sharing some of your struggles. Sometimes, it’s easier to extend grace to others, than to myself, but God is teaching me that it’s ok to have a “bad day” where patience may not be overflowing and I may not be in the best mood. There’s no shame in admitting to being imperfect, and tomorrow is always a new day. It has been a persistent perspective that God keeps bringing to my attention lately, that we all have our “somethings” and “me, too” helps not only the giver, but also the receiver. Thanks for the post.

  6. This story really touched me. I also have struggled with my weight all my life. Food has been my best friend since I was 16. I never really had any friends growing up and was always so lonely that I turned to food, especially sweets. I also have a house that just doesn’t seem clean enough to invite friends over. I have been married for almost 31 years now and my marriage looks very shiny on the outside, but I am still struggling with the fact that he accused me of something so awful that now my oldest daughter won’t even speak to me or visit with her 3 children anymore. So again I have turned to food to comfort me. Then I was diagnosed with Diffuse Large B Cell Lymphoma a year ago. Thank God that I am now cancer free for almost a year. I have not been able to eat like I used to from all the chemo and radiation. I have lost 30 pounds now and I am still trying to lose more. But when I do feel the need to comfort myself of course I go back to my comfort food until I am almost sick from eating so much.

    • Oh, Gina, I’m so sorry for your pain. I can’t imagine the burden you’ve been bearing. And eating through pain? ME, TOO. Praying you can stay on the path toward health and that God will restore your marriage and family with healing, honesty and forgiveness!

      • Thank you so much Mary! That means so much to me know that someone else understands what I am going through.

    • Gina
      Prayers for you my friend!! May God keep you cancer free and heal the rift between you and your daughter! I also eat through pain–the wrong foods mostly comfort! I get it! Prayers that God can give you complete healing & restore your marriage!
      Father,
      Bring healing to Gina in health issues. I pray that you mend the rift between her daughter and her so that she can see her grandchildren. Bring about some heart changes in the marriage. Put honesty and trust back there. Bring peace and contentment to this family!
      AMEN!

  7. I am wearing my “Me Too” T-shirt right now as I read everyone’s comments. Our church, Flatirons Community Church, in Lafayette, Colorado (this is the best church we have ever attended!) has promoted the slogan “Me Too” as a way to get the dialogue started between people. They sell the T-shirts for $10 through our church. Walking in town I see many people wearing these “MeToo” T-shirts and know they go to my church, even though I didn’t know who they were. Also just the other day while in Costco in another town someone stopped me and said, “Me Too” because I had on my T-shirt! It starts dialogue!!! Are you hurting in some way, feeling shame, in need of forgiveness, feel unworthy, feel lonely, ashamed of your body image?…the list goes on. We all feel there are things we have in common with one another…they might not be identical in nature, but we can say….”Me Too” to one another so we can relate to one another and find common ground. I have worn my “Me Too” T-shirt through-out the US and Europe and it gets a conversation started when people ask me what my T-shirt means. This is a great way to share the gospel with people; I let people I meet know the “Me Too” slogan is a way to hear about Jesus and for those that are hurting know that they aren’t alone…We can all say, “ME TOO!”

  8. Mary,

    What an excellent post! What comfort and salve we experience in sharing the “Me Too”. I thank God for freeing me to be able to share my “Me Too” experience. Indeed we overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our “Me Too” testimony.

  9. Does anyone know about Managing Your Blessings and their special with the Homemaker’s Bundle? I ordered at a sale price. I am hoping they are good, and I hope I don’t regret not having purchased/donated from/to this site before purchasing that bundle. I like the latest about loving the home I have (the devotional and would like the book maybe)

  10. Mary,this piece grabbed my heart like no other. I wanted to jump through my
    screen and hug the woman who confessed to eating the whole pizza …
    because she is brave and because even though my struggles may not be
    identical to hers, they are of a similar vein. Who hasn’t made a bad
    decision on account of feeling overwhelmed or stuck or scared? And
    during times of missteps, mishaps, and mischance, don’t we all long for
    someone to come beside us and say “I understand. Jesus understands. You
    are loved. We can get through this together.”? I know I do. My “me too” moments vary … sometimes I struggle with doubt, sometimes anger, sometimes vanity, and sometimes procrastination and each other those issues carry a share of smaller issues and every time I know I’m not alone, I feel better equipped to escape the strongholds. Thank you, sweet friend for your wise and encouraging words.

  11. Mary,
    I’m currently 60 pounds heavier than I was when I was full-term with my daughter (who’s now 10). I’m a compulsive over-eater. I just lost my teaching job (that I’ve had for 8 years), and I’m now a single mother. I wish I knew how to express how depressed I’ve been for the past two years. It’s actually ironic: my daughter accepted Christ this past December, we’ve started going to church, and I’ve even begun tithing again. My life is more chaotic and frightening now than before. I’m really trying to hold onto my faith, but I can feel it slipping.

    • Beth, I’m so sorry to hear about the struggles you’re facing right now. It sounds like your faith is strong, to keep you moving forward with church and tithing even in the midst of so many challenges! Praying provision and peace and hope for you tonight.

    • Beth,
      I understand your depression on losing your job, being a single mom, all the stresses–but am super proud of you for going to church! Prayers for peace, contentment! May God bring about good covenant friends who will walk this journey of life you are on now! May you and your daughter continue to have faith, hope and love! Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you” declares the Lord. “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you”. “Plans to give you a hope and a future”.
      Blessings 🙂

  12. I love this, Mary. It’s so true. There’s just something about knowing you’re not the only one that struggles. And it seems to break the hold of that “thing” when you expose it to someone else. Thanks for sharing.

  13. Mary, I am struggling with family issues that break my heart sometimes. This load has made it challenging to find my quiet time, to just be still, to breathe Him in, to pour out my heart with praise and prayers…I can share my family issues but it is the aching of my heart because I am missing my time to rest in and with Jesus that they just don’t seem to understand…thank you for letting me say “me too” this morning! Somehow I just don’t feel so alone! God bless!

  14. Your article hit me right on target. I’ve been struggling with weight for a long time. I now have decided to drastically cut down on sugar, walk more and find an exercise program. It seems I have good intentions, but to have someone who can share with me their journey to lose weight would be helpful. “Me too” is a great way to demonstrate that we are all going through some major event which could be lessened as others acknowledge the pain and reality of how times can be difficult. Without the Lord’s direction and guidance through others, the problems of life can be given to our Father who bears all our burdens. Thank you for this uplifting message.

  15. Mary,
    Recently I’ve started to struggle with weight. My eating habits got really bad last year when my aging dad got sick & work got stressful. Another struggle is work & my aging father. Fortunately I have a good friend who, like me, is going through tough aging parent years. We talk almost daily about our struggles. It is nice to have someone to confide in that understands the daily demands of older parents.
    God has blessed me with a good friend at work who understands work struggles. We commiserate over lunch some. I find it cathartic to “spill my guts” if it were to someone who understands. God knows we need friends–real honest open friends to do life with and if we are brave and go first then we might just find a “me too” in the crowd and that person may be relieved to know someone else struggles with the same thing!
    Thanks for being so real and honest about life!! 🙂

  16. Hi Mary,

    I’ve been struggling with my weight and my anger issues a lot recently, and I’ve always struggled with telling others about what I know is wrong with me because I’m afraid that they’ll judge me and think differently of me, but then after reading this, I know that others are struggling too, and I constantly tell myself that no one’s perfect. But I’ve realized that I’ve used that as an excuse for not achieving my goals. In a way, I’ve letting go of my burden by sharing with everyone here, and I always feel better after getting my feelings out.

    Thank you so much for writing this! God Bless!

    ~Emily

  17. Hi Mary,

    I’ve been struggling with my weight and my anger issues a lot recently, and I’ve always struggled with telling others about what I know is wrong with me because I’m afraid that they’ll judge me and think differently of me, but then after reading this, I know that others are struggling too, and I constantly tell myself that no one’s perfect. But I’ve realized that I’ve used that as an excuse for not achieving my goals. In a way, I’ve letting go of my burden by sharing with everyone here, and I always feel better after getting my feelings out.

    Thank you so much for writing this! God Bless!

    ~Emily

  18. I think you made me realize that hearing someone say, “me,too” makes me resentful. What?…. When I was growing up I was bullied at school, and to a smaller extent, in my extended family. I had to build a world of my own in which I was safe. I had to create an identity and a public persona that disallowed all that rejection. And I could not put any trust in anyone….although I PRETENDED to trust people. IF I had reveled my true self, IF I had shared an experience of loneliness, If they had said, “me, too”, I might have said, “Oh, no you don’t! You can NOT have the same experience, same emotions as I do! YOU don’t know anything about ME! Don’t try to connect with ME…you are nothing like ME!” Sounds arrogant, but it’s really coming from behind those walls of fear, of not feeling safe enough to be vulnerable and open up to being accepted. I realized that I don’t want to hear “me, too” because that would make that person just like me and then I would be just like THEM, those mean people, those people who reject the real me. I think this article made me take a second look at my need to be IN the crowd, but not a part OF the crowd. And this has far reaching impact in my life, I think. From not commiting to a lifestyle eating change, to my relationship with my daughter, to my rejection of any truly close relationship with a man…..Funny how one article can have such an impact…especially on a Monday morning!

  19. Good for you Kimberly!! Love the name “Take back our temple”!!
    Bev xx

    • Thanks Bev – God gave me that name a couple of years after I started my weight loss journey. While it hasn’t always been easy, the deeper relationship I’ve gained with the Lord is so worth it. It helps to share with others and know that you aren’t alone!