The spring before I began tutoring high school students in our local Classical Conversations homeschool program, I sat in on another tutor’s class to observe for a day. Latin, British lit, music history — the discussions fascinated me as I imagined someday guiding my own students in their study of these subjects.
But the most memorable lesson came during debate when the tutor challenged the class — and subsequently, me — to think about what it means to be winsome. I’m sure I sneaked a peek at the dictionary app on my phone as I analyzed this unfamiliar word, which the tutor stressed above winning as the primary objective.
I’ve never forgotten her lesson in the five years I’ve tutored debate.
Sometimes my students don’t know which side of an issue they’ll argue until the day of the debate. It forces them to be fully prepared, to understand both sides and be able to defend either one, a skill which helps not only in debate, but also in life.
Although they may not agree with the position they’re ultimately asked to support, they know it inside out, both pros and cons.
Can you imagine how that level of understanding could benefit us day-to-day with people whose opinions differ from our own?
The desire to win serves us well if our only concern is a judge’s score-sheet, tally marks on a page, getting the last word. But the desire to be winsome serves us well if we want to convert others, to win them to our point of view.
It’s the mark of an evangelist or peacemaker.
I heard a man speak recently. He commanded the attention of the crowd and the respect of many simply by his presence. But when he opened his mouth the words were tinged with anger and a disdain for those who disagree with him.
Even when his words rang true, his tone repelled. It was the opposite of winsome. To be winsome is to be persuasive, to win people to your side.
A winsome witness for Jesus Christ speaks the truth in love.
We are imperfect people living imperfect lives. We don’t influence others by our perfect example — it isn’t possible — but by the love we show them.
“By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.” {John 13:35}
Even in the darkest times, we carry within us a hope because the source of our joy is secure. We touch lives when we live ours joyously, as winsome ambassadors for Christ.
How can we be more winsome at work or school? Be cheerful and include those that others leave out.
How can we be more winsome at home? Discipline in love, and work to maintain a pleasant atmosphere. Be playful with your husband and children. Laughter is contagious.
How can we be more winsome in our friendships? Be an encourager and a supporter, who delights in the success of others.
Do you know someone who is especially winsome? What happens if truth is delivered without love?
by Dawn Camp, My Home Sweet Home, editor and photographer of The Beauty of Grace
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Dawn,
Thank you…you really have me thinking about the approach I take when approaching others. I don’t want to be haughty or pious, especially when it comes to talking about my Savior. I want to be winsome. As my mom used to say, “You can attract more flies with honey than with vinegar.” It’s true…thank you for giving me something to truly think about today. Great word…good stuff to remember!
Blessings,
Bev
Bev, thanks for always being here with an encouraging word!
Oh Dawn!
What a wonderful picture of how we should treat others! I have often said that in order to really witness to someone, we have to remember and respect that they believe what they believe just as strongly as we believe what we believe. I love the concept of being winsome and am praying that God helps me to become more winsome in all areas of my life! Thank you so much for sharing!
You are so wise – others hold their opinions as strongly as we hold ours!
Dawn,
I never thought about winsome. It didn’t occur to me that part of being winsome is encouragement. I am an encourager by nature. Always try to let people know how much they mean to me. Send e-cards, snail cards, cook meals & call people. I want to attract people to Christ by being winsome and letting His love flow out like honey!
Blessings 🙂
Yes, Beth, I think encouragement is a vital part – an expression of Christ’s love!
Winsome–what a great word to keep in mind, to guide our words and actions. Thank you, Dawn!
You’re welcome, Nancy! I’m going to try to use it more myself. 🙂
Kim, it is a great word, isn’t it? 🙂