My days and weeks the past few months have been spent book writing. I’ve got a deadline looming on the insanely close horizon, and like any good writer, I’ve spent far too much time procrastinating. I suddenly need to scrub the bathroom sink, menu plan for an entire month, look into that itchy spot on my back, change my desktop wallpaper.
Anything but, you know, write.
In fact, right after I submit this post for publication, I’m getting right back at writing the ol’ book, ever looming she may be. It’s kinda ridiculous, actually, how timid I am to approach my own dadgum book.
I love writing, I feel called to write, and I’m honored to write. And yet, I put it off.
Here’s why I think that is.
Because big things — like book-writing, or sending our kids to a new school, or saying no to an opportunity that will most likely disappoint someone — ask us to risk.
Risk: To take action with big faith.
Putting myself out there with words on a blinking screen, for whatever reason, reminds me how really small I am compared to a God that’s so big, He’s actually called the author of life. He’s the one who actually wrote the life I’m leading that’s brought me to a season when I write. And He’s the author who’s written every single life that walks past through the ins and outs of every day.
I’m not good at vulnerability, and so I put off those things that ask of me big risk, because it requires of me a faith that is bigger than me. It’s as though Jesus really knew how hard this is for us mortals when He asked His disciples in the boat: “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”
Do I still have no faith? After the years and years and years of Him showing up, gracefully and abundantly and more than I could ever ask or imagine, again and again?
It’s a bit ridiculous, really, coming from a daughter so terribly in awe of all Her father has given her. But there it is.
And you know what’s beautiful about it all? He takes my measly offering. He accepts my minuscule, mustard seed-sized faith and does His wonders with it anyway. He lays before me a wide, green pasture where I can walk freely in His goodness, because that’s just it — He’s good.
He’s good. Again and again and again, despite my lack of faith. And He’ll do it again, I know it.
If you’ve got something in front of you that’s asking you for big faith, and what you’ve got to offer feels ridiculously out of proportion, you’re in good hands. Because God loves to work wonders with whatever we bring.
Because He loves us first, and because He gives good gifts, all we need to bring is a willingness to receive. If we need more faith to have that hard conversation, He’ll give just what’s needed. If starting that new job feels like a massive step out of our element, all we really need to do is show up.
And if we have a big deadline on the horizon, the most we need to do is be willing to do the work set before us, one letter at a time.
No reason to procrastinate. Taking action, even with tiny faith, is giving God an opportunity to show up.
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
God has been calling me to something that is so outside my wheelhouse of expertise and comfort. If you would have told me five years ago that I would be starting a Christian School for orphans in the epicenter of evil in Pakistan, I would have told you, “You’re crazy!” But, guess where I am. God now has me pursuing filing for 501c3 status (I don’t speak legalese). Again, way outside my comfort zone. Like you said so beautifully…God is GOOD! It’s a big risk, but all we have to do is show up with our mustard seed of faith, abide in Him, and wait to see the wonders that He will perform. May my lack of faith in me…but all my faith in Him, enable me to not procrastinate, but to risk and step forward into Him.
Blessings and best wishes on your deadline,
Tsh Oxenreider says
Indeed. God go with you in your new step of faith, Bev.
Dena Dyer says
I’m beginning a scary new writing project and I so needed to hear this. One word, one step at a time. He is good…He is faithful. YES. Thank you for this reminder, Tsh. I pray your project is a daily experience in worship and gratitude as you humbly and beautifully submit to His work and guidance.
Tsh Oxenreider says
Likewise, Dena…. In case you couldn’t tell, I very much wrote this post for me as much as anybody. 😉
Great post. It made me ask myself if I am running away from writing..this endeavor I still think He’s called me to but, like you, I can currently find more reasons to scrub the kitchen floor than write a blog post. It all seems so hard now, when it all used to seem so easy. Expectations; if we’re not careful, they creep in and steal the joy of the gift we’ve been given. Perhaps it seems harder because I too am recognizing God is so much bigger than He used to be 🙂 It all seems so weighty now, full of comparison and comments or lack thereof. Thanks for keeping it real and letting us know that even the gal writing a book finds it hard to sit down and just write, but you give the hope that it’s not all about you anyway- it’s about what you give to Him.
Joanne Peterson says
Tsh, Oh, My, Yes. I have to do some things and speak with the area psychologist for our boys for school and have been procrastinating for many reasons. This is the incentive I need to just move and do it intimidated. It will turn out the way God intends whether I feel it is the way I want to see it. I don’t have to be intimidated. Joanne
Rebecca Jones says
It’s easy to be misunderstood as a writer, people don’t always get it. For a long time I was discouraged by rejection, but I could not give up my passion. I did the 31Day Writers Challenge, writing about the Prince of Peace, for me, as much as anyone. Yes, He is good!
Thanks for such a timely reminder that we all dodge important tasks!! I became a professional at this as a young girl and am even better at it as a 40 year old mom of 5!
Lois Frerichs-Hughey says
Thank you! Just what I needed this morning! Especially the reminder that God has never failed to show up! I can place my entire situation in His hands with complete faith in His goodness and enduring faithfulness to me.
Beth Williams says
Last year was a bit stressful and traumatic for my family. Moved aging dad into assisted living, he had multiple medical issues, my hubby almost lost his job–changed it 3 times (with same company), I dreaded my job. Last June I remember praying to God to allow me to quit my job and become a local missionary. Never did I dream it would come true! Through faith in Him it has happened. I now stay at home and do a lot of extra church work, visit my dad and others 3X week, pray more, and work at being a better Christian. All it took was mustard seed faith, and God’s hand at work!
Lisa Appelo @True and Faithful says
Yes and yes. I think part of my procrastination is because it (seems like) a scary, hard task. And other times, procrastination is because of the vulnerability, blood-letting, soul scouring work it requires. Eek! Done feels really good though!
Faith of a mustard seed can move mountains- I have heard this before and I love your message here. God loves to work wonders with whatever we bring, all we have to do is show up, have faith and give him the opportunity to do his good work through us. I always reflect on how I am not good enough for God He is so great why would he want me, there must be a mistake here…I just need to have faith and come to him.