I was excited for this big opportunity. I was going to be used by God for something magnificent, something mammoth, and something meaningful. I wanted to count.

What would it look like?
How would others receive me?
Would I do well by Him?

The wrappings of eager seemed to cover every inch of me, adeptly holding the vision of amazing about to unfold. I could feel it. I could see it. I could almost smell it . . . until, it happened.

The phone rang with the call that said, “There has been a change of plans.”

Have you ever gotten one of those calls? The type of call that changes everything in a blink of an eye? The type of call that takes away the good you were supposed to unwrap, hold, look at, then jump up and down over?

There was another woman — and all I knew is it wasn’t me. A tear slid down my eye. I was asked to hand over the opportunity, the near once-in-a-lifetime dream. I didn’t want to, I really didn’t want to, but I did. Afterwards, nearly every part of me felt like kicking and screaming, letting all my insides out, but the other part of me knew God had some stuff to say.

Yet, how do you listen to God when He didn’t listen to you? How do you receive from Him, when He has just taken from you?

It is akin to kissing the woman who just nabbed the last pair of shoes in your size, or pedicuring the feet of a friend who lied directly to your face, or dying for the man who just spit on you, or forgiving the thief standing next to you. And this thought, it hits me with the power of the cross, making me realize — God has some stuff to say.

So I listen.

And God whispers, “What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived” . . . the things God has prepared for those who love him.” {1 Corinthians 2:9}

God loves me.
God also loves her.
He has big plans for us both.

We have a choice in moments like these, don’t we? We can choose to wallow in the idea of limited opportunity or we can choose to see the unlimited God we follow.

Not too long after I was passed over, I got word about the other woman. She was diagnosed with severe cancer. She also noted how vital and encouraging this special event was in her life. How God had carved it out just for her soul. How others had blessed her in a way she would never forget.

To her, it was a cherished trophy of great honor she could hold through hard times.

Clearly, she received her “something magnificent, something mammoth, something meaningful,” but the thing is — so did I. He made my sacrifice count for her. And that is worth something.

Because, in the end, isn’t that what we are all really after? To count? Sometimes, counting is much more about saying “Your will be done,” than it is about saying “I am going to get this done.” Sometimes, it is much more about stepping aside than it is about stepping in. Sometimes, it is much more about humility than it is about the spotlight.

What act of surrender might God be preparing for you, so that you truly realize how much you count?

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Related: Wear this lovely pendant necklace that says “It is well with my soul” as a beautiful expression of a relentless faith and trust in God.

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