About the Author

Angela Nazworth is a shame-fighting storyteller who writes mostly about the beauty of grace, faith, friendship, vulnerability and community. She is a wife and a mother of two. Angela's also an encourager, a lover of good books, coffee, girl's night out, sunshine, and waterfalls. In the 15 years since she...

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  1. Angela,
    Wow…so powerful…my heart aches for your younger self in this real story. How awful. When we read it (shame) happening to someone else, we recognize it right away and smell its stench, but when it happens to us (as it happened to me) we often can’t see it for what it is. “He would have stayed if I…..” I know the shame of the abandoned wife. It cuts like a knife. God in His grace has healed those wounds. But, now as I champion orphaned children in Pakistan and the Middle East, the enemy is rising up again to accuse…”Who do you think you are? You’re not worthy, capable, equipped, __________, enough to do this.” He’s trying to stop me in my tracks again. But if the voice doesn’t line up with what the Lord says in scripture…”I can do ALL things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me” then I need to kick the shameful lies to the curb. Powerful, powerful message Angela. One I needed reminding of this am.!
    Blessings and ((hugs)) to that precious blond haired little girl,
    Bev xx

    • Bev, thank you so much for your continued blessing of encouragement. You sum up emotions so beautifully because you care so deeply. I am sorry to read how shame has touched your life, but also joyful that the Lord has healed those deep wounds.

  2. Wow! Yes I can relate to the deep words spoken over me during abuse as a child. It has taken many years as the Truth did not enter my life until late in life BUT the power of the Word of God. It has such power as to cleanse and remove the lie making the heart free to love and rejoice. It is a battle but so worth it. “There is NOW NO condemnation for those in Christ Jesus” Rom. 8:1 What a powerful statement our Lord has given us. But we also need to forgive the one who made us question our worth for our heart to be really free. Thank you Angela

    • “But we also need to forgive the one who made us question our worth for our heart to be really free.” Yes! Forgiveness of the offender does help foster healing. Thank you for sharing.

  3. I praise the Lord and thank you, Angela, for this post. I’m so sorry that you had to endure that shame, a false shame that leaves us asking “what is wrong with me?” I beg the Lord to heal my heart as I seek to forgive the shame heaped on by abuse, trying to draw close to Him knowing that He has chosen me and I am His. Shame leaves us stony, trying to strive to earn His love and the love of others, especially in today’s world. May the Lord lift each of us out of any false shame, gently helping our hearts to know of the height, breadth, and width of His love today for us 🙂

    • Oh An, yes, for years I wondered what was wrong with me. I owned shame and blame and carried it around like a worn blanket. Thank you for sharing your heart.

  4. Angela, you have a wonderful gift for writing. Thank you for writing this. I needed to hear this today – thank you God. It’s thrown the spotlight on something that has been hindering me.

    • Thank you, Louise. Praying for you this afternoon as God ministers to your heart.

  5. Angela,
    This is such good word. It’s hard to admit feelings of shame because it seems we feel it all over again when we do. But God. God gives us his truth and takes our chins into his all-knowing hands because “…he is the lifter of our heads” (Psalm 3:3). Thank you for sharing.

  6. Angela,
    I am so deeply sorry for what you went through. I wanted to dive through time to take you away from that spot. I’m glad though that Adam’s mom consoled you.

    Thank-you sharing and for reminding us of the importance of these two things:

    The hurt our actions can cause if done in haste.
    Shame can be pushed aside by grace.

    Blessings to you,

    Penny

  7. Angela, God sustained you for a reason. Now, you can hold your head high & walk in His grace. Thanks for sharing. We have all dealt with shame before, but it’s how we come out of it. Blessings always!

  8. What a powerful post, Angela. I know decades have passed since that incident, but I am so sorry you were inflicted with those words from that man. I’ve lived with shame since girlhood, mostly pushed on my by young peers in a school setting. It’s taken years to identify the lies I’ve believed for all these years. When we can identify them and bring them to Jesus, His truth spoken over us can begin to force shame’s grip to loosen.

    Thank you for this post!

    • Oh Jeanne — Our stories are so similar. I am so sorry for the pain inflicted on you and also praise God for the healing He has done in your life and the beautiful work He has made in you!

  9. First of all I can’t even get a grip that a neighbor slapped you in the first place – Shame is a horrid thing. Thank God for the blood of His Son. xo

  10. Thank you so much for sharing your story, and wow did this bring back memories. When I was in high school I dated this really nice fellow, he and his brothers and sisters were smart and worked hard at everything they did. Their mom though rather than throw them any kind of a bone for their accomplishments, would always shame them. She would shame the kids about everything, and not even care if strangers were in the house when she was cutting the kids down to size. They were good kids, too. I hope all of them were able to find success in life despite growing up in such a negative household. No doubt though the effects of shaming still linger.

  11. Dear Angela,
    WOW!! I can totally relate to some of the accusations of shame in this story,
    “He would have stayed if you were someone worth staying for,”
    For years I believed this lie. I believed that my ex-husbands abuse and adultery were my fault… But eventually I came to realise that his sins were not mine, his choices were not mine. I love where you say;
    “God whispers to the hearts of His beloved: Don’t pay attention to those feelings of shame — they don’t belong to you. Shame is nothing more than the scheme of darkness.”
    Only last week my (still) angry oldest son lashed out at me saying,
    “I know why Dad left… You are crazy!” All because I refused to enter into an argument with him and I then said, “I love you son, no matter what you do or say.”
    Thank you for this reminder… I really needed it!! 🙂

  12. Shame is a terrible thing. It’s funny some people who should be ashamed aren’t or even repentant, and here we go carrying what Jesus bore. I’m glad He’s there.

  13. I am facilitating a study entitled “Captivating” by John & Staci Eldredge… Thank you for offering more insight and a gentle reminder to breathe in the grace of Jesus, our Lord. This message is greatly needed and beautifully shared! Thanking God for you and this online ministry!

  14. Angela,
    Thank you very much for you open honesty in telling this story! I find it hard to recognize any shame in myself and know it is the enemy attacking me.
    I grew up shy due to hearing loss. I had a hard time learning to speak clearly. I didn’t have much confidence in myself. When I make a mistake or do something wrong I hear “dumb, stupid, not good enough, ugly”! Never did I consider it was the devil taunting me and getting me upset and depressed! I have since come to know I am made in the Image of Christ and He calls me (all people) Very Good!!!
    Blessings