“Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and so that you may prosper in the land the LORD your God is giving you.”
My mom taught me how to measure sugar. It was never a sit down lesson, per se. It was more that every time she was baking, I was tucked under her wing — watching, learning, licking the batter off the beaters from the stand mixer.
The white sugar, she would always scoop, with a measuring cup, from a container in the cabinet. And the she would level off the cup with the back of a knife.
Brown sugar was a totally different story. Brown sugar she would take from the box, pack it tightly into the measuring cup until it was full, pressing it as tight as possible.
I’m sure Mom told me how to measure the sugar, but I don’t remember her words as much as I remember her actions.
And every time I measure sugar, I honor my mother by doing it the way she modeled for me.
I used to think “honoring” my father and mother just meant obedience. And when I was seven, it did.
But what does it mean now? When I’m my own adult, running my own life, how do I honor my father and mother? The directive from God, with a pretty solid promise, still remains.
The best way I can honor them now is by taking all the wisdom they shared over the years and using it to shape and mold the banks of river of my life.
I honor my mother when I read my Bible, because she always told me that was the best way to start the day. I honor my father when I spend my money wisely, because he taught me the value of budgeting. I honor my mother when I measure sugar correctly, and I honor my father when I add the dumplings to the pot of chicken broth just like he taught me.
For adult children, our call to honor switches from that of obedience to their commands to taking the best advice and life lessons learned, and allowing those to impact our decisions — as employees, as spouses, as parents, as Christians.
In what ways do you honor your mother today?
Joanna @ Modern Ruth Project says
Very sweet post! Happy Mother’s Day!
This is my second Mother’s Day without my mom. My siblings and I honored mom in many ways and as her health went down, we each took care of her as she had taken care of us all our lives. We helped her with her doctor appointments, running errands, cooking her favorite meals, painting her nails, taking her to her hair appointments to name a few. At times the roles reversed and we felt like the parent. We made sure that she was cared for, loved and respected . It was a difficult time but a precious time. We had the gift of time spent with her. When she passed away unexpectantly we felt like orphans. Grown adults feeling so lost. As we prepared her funeral, we were so thankful for those days of caring for her and the time we each got to spend with her. Today we miss her dearly but we know that one day, we will be together in heaven. My siblings and I look forward to that glorious day.
For those of you who still have your momma, call her, give her a hug, thank her. If your relationship is strained, let it go, forgive and make amends. Life is to short and when she is gone, it is so final. You only have one real momma. I don’t know who said time heals things because we still hurt and miss her so much. Let this Mother’s Day be the beginning of healing hurt relationships. Start a new chapter a with your mom. Treat her with kindness, love, patience and understanding. God will bless your efforts.
Happy Mother’s Day!
Have a blessed day,
Beth Williams says
I completely understand. My dad took care of mom, but after her death it was my turn. In the last few years I have taken him to doctor appointments, moved him to assisted living-with sibling help, gone to ER with him and a myriad of other things. This year was toughest as he had a major medical issue that resulted in 4 different moves before March 1. Tough on someone with dementia. God bless you and your siblings for taking care of mom! I pray you God will continue to bless you all!
Wini Schiemann says
Your writing has such a sweet softness to it.
Sharing your memories as a way to honor your parents is a wonderful suggestion to me today.
Thank you Annie!
Happy Mothers Day Annie!
Thank-you Annie for your thoughtful and sweet post,
‘Honor Your Father and Your Mother’ has been crossing my mind frequently. I didn’t think it would be possible for me to love and appreciate them even more than when they were here.
For Mother’s Day I’ll honor my Mother in a quiet way.
Have a blessed Mother’s Day everyone,
May Jesus bless each of you, each sweet mother, with His love and grace today 🙂 May His grace touch our hearts as we honor those gracious moms who are with us and with Him. Thank you, Annie, for this beautiful post calling us to continue in the ways taught to us that honor our mothers. I am grateful 🙂
Rebecca Jones says
My mother’s favorite saying, “Do what you know is right. ” I had to do that and it honors her, I have see her overcome so much by faith. Happy Mother’s Day!
Beth Williams says
My mom has been deceased since 2009. I honor her legacy by being a frugal shopper by spending money wisely. I also make some of her recipes. I’m honoring her by caretaking for my dad with some sibling assistance I pay his bills, and visit him 4 days a week & go for walks.
Michele Morin says
Annie, I had a mentor and friend in the Lord almost forty years ago (when I was in high school) and she just took me under her wing when she was in the kitchen or on the road. To this day when I clean out a mixing bowl, I do it the way she did it, and I think of her every time – not because she ever said, “This is the best way to clean out a bowl,” but because I saw her do it. Of course, I also study the Bible and journal — a habit I picked up from her as well. We can have such an impact on the lives of others, and not even know it!
Annie, I have met many women through the years of ministry who like me do not have a cherished relationship with one or more of their parents, and the struggle to honor is real and painful, especially when the struggle involves parents who were and remain abusive or antagonistic toward following Christ. This scripture is so often misunderstood and causes undue grief and regret, yet I believe it is meant to free because in honoring God with our daily lives, we are actively honoring our parents. And even in the worst circumstance, I believe God gives us grace to find wisdom for reshaping our future and the lives of our own children. I pray your words comfort many! They are a sweet reminder to me of God’s grace over my life!
This is so hard for me because while I have tried endlessly to build a relationship with my mother, she distances herself from me and several other members of our family, devoting her time to only those who “do” for her. our childhoods were shadowed by alcohol and abuse. While I have forgiven her and put this all behind, I think she does not forgive herself. I reach out to her, write her letters, phone calls to her, invites to spend time with my family and she ignores them all. I have learned that the best way for me to honor my mother is the following: display the type of mother I’ve needed to my own children, giving them a safer environment and keeping connection with them as they grow, allowing my mother to be who she is – instead of who I long for her to be, and praying for her daily.
I wish we all had loving, safe, protector of parents growing up, but that’s not always the case. It took me years to stop feeling like an orphan (both of my parents are still living, but have nothing to do with their children or grandchildren, for the most part)… God IS my Holy Father, I have been adopted into His family, and He is truly the only One who can fill the emptiness.