About the Author

Mallory lives in Indiana with her husband and writes on everyday abiding in Christ.

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  1. Mallory,
    Absolutely spot on! As a member of “Perfectionists Anonymous”, I get this. Having spent a good part of my life trying to earn what was already mine through Christ, I know what a trap perfectionism can be. Like you said so beautifully, Christ died not so that we would “owe Him something” through our actions, but so that we could walk in FREEDOM. One other thing that my perfectionistic ways uncovered was a nasty little stumbling block called “pride”. By my continual striving and attempts to earn my salvation, I was in essence saying that what Christ did was not enough – that I still needed to do something above and beyond. That’s pride. When Christ sacrificially breathed out those last words, “It is finished,” He meant it was beyond complete. Nothing more for us to do, but to walk in the freedom for which He paid His life. I hope perfectionists out there really take in your words here…
    Blessings,
    Bev

    • My, does that hit home with me. I used to feel SO SHAME about being late to things even though I was riasing 4 kids & working 2 jobs.. I would arrive late to church & meetings sometimes I would not even go in at all .. 15min 1/2hr late.
      Then one day I ran into my PASTOR in a store & HE WAS THE KIND OF PASTOR THAT KNEW EACH & EVERY ONE OF HIS CONGREGATION. He stated that he didn’t see me in church the previous Sun..
      I told him that I arrived late in the parking lot & thought of how ANNOYED PEOPLE get when you ask them to MOVE OVER. .& took the kids to Children Church & left..PASTOR JONES GAVE ME A LECTURE 35YRS AGO THAT I *TREASURE * EVEN TODAY. ☆Who are you trying to please Man Or God… You come into that building no matter what..God knows what you had to deal with & he Knows you..’His child’..& The MOMENT YOU WALK IN JUST MABE THE SPOKEN WORD EXCLUSIVELY FOR YOU..Wow I later became a PASTOR MYSELF ( JUST RETIRED) & HAVE SHARED THOSE SAME WORDS WITH MANY.
      I have Never felt guilty or embarrassed since then..I was SET FREE FROM THE IGNORANCE & INSENSITIVNESS OF OTHERS..
      NOW at 70yrs old, I DO NOT make ANY commitments , for specific time . Yet ironically I am always requested to please come anyway. I am often told that my Honesty is highly respected..
      TO God Be The Glory
      I STILL SHARE MY STORY
      AMEN

      • I love this! What a blessing that Pastor must have been and what a blessing you are as a pastor as well. Thank you for sharing!

    • Hello Mallory and Bev. I so needed to read this post, and Bev’s further explanation. I have never really experienced the sense of “freedom” that you speak of…for me, God’s love has always seemed conditional, ie. contingent on my carrying out my “end of the deal”. This has left me in a continual state of anxiety…fear. I realize that this false belief has kept me from walking in FREEDOM!

      So, when Christ said, “It is finished”, that is exactly what he meant!? I can hardly take this in. Please pray for me, that I can overcome the lie that I am never good enough…it is such a heavy weight to carry. Can either of you refer me to a book or publication that focuses on this? I really need to meditate on this truth, so that it is fully mine. I’ve believed the lie for so long, and I don’t want the truth to slip away from me. I hope you understand.

      Christine

      • Hi Christine. I know exactly how you feel. I remember 20some years ago being in shock to discover the lines in a song saying “Your blood is enough, Your mercy complete” meant Jesus work on the cross really was enough for me. A book that God used later to truly transform me was “Truefaced” by Bill Thrall and others. It helped me learn about how God’s grace was enough and my (perfectionist!) attempts at pleasing God weren’t what God wanted. He wants me to trust Him to do the work in me and THAT’s what pleases him. May God continue to lead you into the freedom He longs for you to walk in. Blessings to you!

        • Thank you for your kind response, Melissa and for the reference as well…it will check it out. God bless you for your encouragement.

      • Christine,
        Oh how I struggled with just what you are mentioning. I am sure there are good publications, but I found that going directly to the source – to God’s words and meditating on them helped me to internalize his truth so that when the enemy wanted to whisper lies like “I’m not worthy” or ” I’m not good enough, doing enough, etc.” I could hold those lies up to the truth and if they didn’t match up, then I knew God wanted me to let go of the lies. Here is a link to some great verses to combat perfectionism. I would put them up on my mirror and read them again and again…not all at once, but perhaps a scripture or two at a time. Romans 8:1 has been a life changer for me…I will be praying for you Christine. Believe me, I still struggle, but not nearly like I used to. He wants YOU to walk in FREEDOM too (you are no different than the rest of us…you are not excluded from His truth that covers us).
        https://www.openbible.info/topics/perfectionism
        May you be blessed,
        Bev xo

          • Thanks so much, Bev. I knew there must be scripture that speaks to this, but didn’t know where to begin to look. I will follow through with your suggestions…this is a tremendous help. Christine xo

          • Christine, I will gladly pray for you on this journey of trusting God – of trusting the “enoughness” of Jesus’ sacrifice and your identity as His loved daughter, rather than your performance. This is still huge for me, a necessary reminder and truth, as I often feel like I “should” be doing more of this or less of that. I do believe God loves revealing Himself to us as we converse with Him. I pray that He meets you in those times! Bev and Melissa, thank you for your additional thoughts. I am encouraged reading your truthful words!

    • Thank you, Bev, for these gracious words. How I understand what you are saying, Bev and Christine! I am grateful for your words putting somethings together for me that the Lord has been speaking. How good He is to us-May He be so praised ! 🙂

      • An,
        I know that I often need the confirmation in others’ words in order to totally “digest” what God’s word is telling me. The more we can affirm and encourage each other in this walk, the better. Thankful for you and YOUR encouragement and insight.
        Blessings,
        Bev

  2. The yokes that we pick up and hang on our own necks are so heavy . . .
    I do this myself, forgetting that the yoke Jesus bears with us is easy and light.

    • Michele, yes! I love that you used the phrase “with us.” I think this speaks to our tendency towards self-sufficiency, when we are so much less burdened when we go about life with Jesus, rather than trying to be strong for ourselves. Thanks for sharing that.

  3. LOVE this! Thank you, Mallory! “Jesus’ atonement for sin initiates a plot twist for perfection seekers.” So grateful his atonement covers not just the “big” things but the everyday “small” things, too!

  4. I believe this in my head, but I am having trouble in being able grasp this in my heart and to live this out; even though the LORD saved me 34 years ago, at 33 years of age.

    • This must just be one of those realities of the Gospel that feels so different than what we, as women, expect to be true – that we need to do more, be more, keep everyone happy, etc. Thank you for your honesty here. I know I need reminded of truth SO often.

  5. Comforting words to my soul this morning! Thank you for sharing this particular insight that I needed to hear! I struggle a lot with feelings of incompleteness or inadequacy or letting my loved ones down due to a chronic illness that doesn’t allow my body to “go and be there” for others how I like. God is constantly trying to show me that I am free in Him. He will be there for my loved ones even when I am unable. My performance is not graded so why do I beat myself up so much?? Ugh!! By His faithful grace, I will keep on living and learning how to trust and surrender and love.
    Thank you.

    • Lisa, yes! It sounds like He’s already growing you into this truth, as you’re aware of your propensity to “keep up.” I am also on the journey of learning how to trust, rather than try my hardest to stay afloat on my own. Thanks for sharing!

  6. Thanks for being so open and honest and sharing your heart with us. Why is it we humans can allow life to get so distracting, so demanding, and that is when we make agreements we shouldn’t be making? We have to be intentional EVERY DAY about dwelling on the wonderful message of God’s Grace! Thanks so much for this poignant reminder.

  7. Mallory,

    This post hits the nail on the head!!! I don’t have perfectionistic tendencies. My battles are with feeling inadequate, not enough, stupid, & ugly. The devil whispers those in my ear and I tend to believe them. Praise God for His grace to cover our daily struggles. Need to remind myself daily that Christ has set us free from the yoke of slavery. We need to stay free and not get tied up again. Take His yoke upon you!!

    Blessings 🙂

    • Beth, thanks for your honesty. Discerning the voices can be really hard, but necessary, for us to keep on pursuing Jesus. Praying for His truth and His words seems simplistic, but maybe that’s the most effective thing we can do/rest in to keep the lies far from us. Thank you for your thoughts!

  8. So great! Specifically love these words:

    “We do not need to pursue perfection through performance.”

    “Forsake the idea that a flawless execution of our spiritual journey will please God and impress others.”

    Thanks for the encouragement to trust Jesus more fully!

  9. Thank you for sharing this. Really needed to hear it after some comments in social media on a post I had shared from a friend. It was an article about how people who are chronically late tend to be creative and have a LOT to offer . I was almost shocked at the virulence with which several of my friends attacked the article, saying they considered lateness rude , etc.
    Reading truth here has healed my heart and made me realize we are all on GOD’s timing! I strive to not be late, and have beat myself up soooooo many times…

    And there are those times when the Spirit is convicting me about priorities, but that’s for a different post!

  10. What a great post and wisdom from someone young. I’m sure lots of women wished they’d understood freedom before. Personally, I don’t make ” deals “, it’s kind of like when the devil asks Jesus to bow to him. Agreements are more like it, and God is all about covenants, He knew we couldn’t do it, so Jesus did. Now that is love. Instad of trying to live up to our end of the bargain, our focus should be on His side, that is how we will walk it out. Love the Pastor’s story.

  11. Your post and all the posts were right on.
    Thank you for that.
    Have a blessed day.

  12. Amen. I find myself, time and again trying to get an “A” in … life. Motherhood. Wife-ing. What have you. So, yes and amen!

  13. Powerful reminder. If I had a dime for every time I put unrealistic expectations on myself and then held myself accountable . . . well I would have lots of money in the bank. Need to held myself to God’s standards, not my own unrealistic expectations.