About the Author

Amanda likes to think up fun ways to tell her kids about Jesus and likes to share those ideas with others. Most of those ideas are on her blog, ohAmanda.com and the new ones she’s trying out usually show up on Instagram @oohamanda. Tens of thousands of families have used...

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  1. Amanda,
    When I think of “I can’t even”….I think of my adult daughter. My thoughts are I can’t even believe how much love I’ve poured out on her and yet it is met with such anger and either hurtful words or complete silence. I still think of simple ways I can show love, like sending a valentine, even though I know it will be met with disdain. I know that hurt people, hurt people and I will try to be kinder, more compassionate to those who are difficult to love because God loves them just like He loves me. I will dive into your chapter this afternoon. Challenging post, for certain….
    Blessings,
    Bev xx

    • Beg, I’m praying for you and for your relationship with your daughter this morning. We have known that hurt with my husband’s youngest son, who sadly passed from this life still clinging to that hurt and disdain for his father. I pray that won’t be your story, but that your relationship will be restored and healed and made more beautiful than ever, as only God can do. In the meantime, I pray you will feel his arms of love wrapped tightly around you.
      Blessings.

    • Oh, Bev! It’s so hard when the ones we love best spurn our love–and what’s worse, it makes it hard to love them, even tho’ we want to! I’m praying for your daughter today. That even in something as simple as a Valentine, somewhere deep inside her, it will be met with love. Not just from you, but from the One who loves her best and knows her most. Also, that God would be close to your broken heart today and bind up your wounds.

      a

    • Bev,

      I’m so sorry things haven’t changed. Sometimes when one detaches it’s their way of trying to be independent. I hope, and pray for both your sakes this resolves soon.

      Have a blessed day,

      Penny

    • Oh Amanda, understand your pain completely as I live it with you! Occasionally there have been some breaks where she is reaching out now, this is after years of prayer. My heart breaks for you! Just lay it at the cross! He will hold you, and her, even though those lovely children resist with all their strength, don’t they? Just pray! I cried until I had no more tears to cry with, I am sure you have too! After finally honestly laying it down, I tried many times, I finally was able to find peace in Him with my life. I know you can too. It took a long time, I never gave up praying for reconciliation and can now see light at the end of the tunnel. All things are possible with He who is within us.
      It is just in His time, not ours. I will be praying for you and your daughter. I found that by just taking my hands off completely, my girl came around on her own. It took a long time, but , though it was hard not to contact her, time was needed for her to have her space. When she decided to contact me, I just acted like I had talked to her the week before, like nothing had been out of place. She seemed relieved with that. Be blessed and praying for you both

      • Linda,
        Thank you for your kind and caring reply. God has given me a type of peace that abides most of the time. I do pray that eventually one day my daughter will come around…it’s just hard not to mourn the passing of time, but perhaps God needs this time to do a work in her that I might only get in the way of?
        With thanks and blessings,
        Bev xx

  2. I just received this wonderful study from a giveaway. I’m reading it during my lunch break, and I’ve already enjoyed the “I Can’t Even” devotional. This is a helpful quote: “He loves me. He loves you. I can’t even not live in that love and share it with others. ” I’m trying hard to apply that in a difficult work situation right now.

  3. My ” I can’t even” moments are with my husband and 12 year old son. My husband has TBI and multiple other brain injuries from a car accident. Due to the injuries he is not who he used to be per say. Every moment of every day can be a different mood. His moods flip like a light switch, very sad. I know he can’t help it and he is working in brain therapy and we are trusting God for healing. The 12 year old, well…he is by all means 12. Life has not been easy and I am pressing into God and scriptures more and more. Something that the Lord has shown me is what love truly is and how our family has struggled with true love. My “I can’t even” moments are met with love is patient, love is kind. And since my son is online schooling and we are all home together 24/7, I have really been having to practice not sounding like a gong or clanging cymbals…lol
    Praise God we are forgiven and understood by our Abba Father. Praise God that He knows the plans He has for us, and they are amazing!

    • Oh, Lydia! What a gift you’re giving your husband and son–real true patient and kind love when you don’t feel like it. I’m praying this Valentine’s Day you will have a positive “I can’t even” statement—a small miracle from God to remind you of His great love for you–something you can’t even believe could happen for/to you! And I will be continuing to pray for complete healing for your husband. Nothing is impossible with God!

      a

      (ps: my daughter’s name is Lydia! )

      • Oh Amanda,
        Thank you so much for your response and prayers. We need them! I wanted you to know that my husband and I went to a late lunch yesterday, so it would be less crowded for him, all of the restaurants we were going to choose were closed or closing. So we ended up in a parking lot. As we were taking a minute to think we saw a taco restaurant we had never been to. We looked it up, good reviews and open, so we went. There was no crowd we were the third table on that side of the restaurant. The staff was so kind, the food was wonderful and they gave us a significant discount just because we had never been there before. They even gave us food to try “on the house”. Oh what a blessing! The rest of the evening was sprinkled with blessings as well. So, thank you! Thank you for your prayers and (in)couragement.

  4. Amanda,

    I can’t even fathom Jesus staying on the cross for me! Why would he do it for little me- who messes up all the time? There are days when my aging dad can be hard to love. His mood can be good or icky. Still I visit him and shower love on him regardless. I know he can’t help how he feels.

    Loved this: ‘If we can’t love the hard-to-love people around us, we’re not loving God.’ That is so true. We need to love everyone regardless of how they act or seem. You never know what they are going through or feeling at the moment. Life can be really hard for some and all they need is a gentle hug and I’m here for you. That just might brighten their day!

    Blessings 🙂

  5. I really enjoyed your post Amanda, and appreciate your honesty.
    “We love because He loved us first.”1 John 4:19, I can’t think of more to add to that. My ‘I can’t even’ moments are certain noises that ‘I can’t even tolerate’. I have no idea why but it can be upsetting,

    I hope that you all have a heartfelt Valentine’s Day,

    Penny

  6. I can’t even believe me sometimes. I do have that love and joy but I feel like I don’t have a civil thought or word. The behavior I deal with from others is like I’m speaking a foreign language to them. I tell everyone to rest in Jesus, everyone needs to practice that calm and peace, even as children, or it’s easy to derail. Happy Valentine’s Day!

  7. Wow the rude neighbour resonated with me. Our neighbour physically assaulted my husband in front of our children, a year ago. He then accused us of slashing his tyres and complained to any one, particularly officials like dog wardens and the police about anything he could make up. From vicious dog to children making noise playing. He’s picked and thrown around our plants and his partner and him have run us down to everyone and anyone.
    We want to show him love (not all the time, to be honest sometimes we would love him to die, just do it all stops). We have an annual street meeting coming up which appears to be where this kicked off last year. I will not be going, please pray my husband is able to show him love and maybe start to heal whatever had happened. They won’t even tell the police what we have done to cause the reactions so we have no idea what we can do to put it right.