About the Author

Heather is a busy-and-blessed wife and mom to four and the author of Ask Me Anything, Lord: Opening Our Lives to God's Questions and Anywhere Faith: Overcome Fear, Insecurity and Excuses, and Say Yes to God. She loves good books, hot tea, and discovering God in the everyday.

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  1. Dearest Miss Heather,

    Thank you for sharing your story… i am twenty years old and just a couple of days ago marked nine years since my mom passed away. I know exactly what you mean by preparing for (in my case) mother’s day, birthdays and anniversaries… but the days leading up to them, or sometimes after them, can be even harder. It is so comforting to know that when I need someone most I can always turn to my Heavenly Father and rest in His loving arms. I know my mom is with Him and I will see her again one day. Thank you again for sharing this encouraging, inspiring story… blessed timing… I pray you have a blessed day.

    This side of Heaven,
    Summer Rae

    • I’m so sorry about the loss of your beautiful mom, especially at your young age. It is so comforting to know how He loves us and wraps us in those arms of love to carry us through the hard days!

      • Heather, I so appreciate your thought today. My wife and I are in the middle of an adoption nightmare. The anxiety and fear of the future for our family is what we are living with every day. This was a comfort to me.
        Don

        • I’m so thankful it was a blessing, but so sorry to hear about your adoption circumstances and all the fear and anxiety it is causing. I am praying right now for God’s supernatural peace and strength in the middle of your situation.

      • Lost my brother this morning to cancer. Since I no longer am blessed siblings, Mom or Dad, all with my Lord in Heaven. Wonderful peace came over me at the time of his death. He takes such good care of me.
        I am ever so grateful Thank you for sharing. It lifted my heart.

  2. Jesus never leaves us completely unguarded but it can sure feel that way when grief blindsides us. I lost my mom who was my best friend over two years ago and some days it as if it were only yesterday. I marvel at the time that has gone by as if I have been in suspended animation. Thank you for sharing your experiences that somehow
    makes me feel a little less crazy, and of course for spreading Jesus’s sweet hope and his unending compassion for us.

    • Oh yes, it’s definitely not crazy to still miss those we love who are gone now! Grief can surprise us, and I’m so thankful that Jesus is with us in each of those moments. His presence makes all the difference.

  3. Heather,
    Beautiful post! I don’t ever think our grieving gets easier – it is always there because a piece of us is missing. I totally agree with you that God does not call us to suck up our grief, or be stoic from loss….this is a “quality” the world has placed on grieving as in “my isn’t she holding up well in her loss.” God doesn’t call us to hold up well. He gave us those tears and emotions for a reason. Even though it’s been six years since my dad passed, when the hot tears come there is a catharsis that comes with them. God, in His great compassion, brings joyful memories and little “God winks” to let me know that my dad is looking over me, like when I hear something my dad used to say come out of my mouth or I hear a joke my dad would tell. Yes, indeed, God brings beauty from our ashes because He is a God of redemption Who makes all things new. You will continue to have “good cries” and that’s okay….
    Blessings and thanks for sharing,
    Bev xx

    • What wonderful ways to remember your dad and his humor! I love that! He is indeed a God of redemption who makes all things new. What an amazing hope we have because of who He is!

    • Bev,

      Grieving doesn’t get easier. It has only been 11 days since my dad passed away. Most days I am fine, but every now and then I cry. I guess this loss is harder than my mother because now I have no parents left on earth. I took care of my dad for the last 3 years. The Psalmist said: You keep track all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. Psalm 56:8

      Praying for you on y our journey!

      (((((Hugs)))))

      • Oh Beth,
        I’m so sorry to hear about your dad….I am praying that God will just come and wrap His loving and comforting arms around you. He promises not to leave us comfortless. Praying this Truth for you. And, no, it doesn’t get easier…its gets “different” but as long as we walk this earth we will miss their presence. Let the grief flow…God gave us tears for a reason and He will collect all of them. He feels and knows your pain and loss and wants to love you through it. Reaching out to you with love and ((hugs))…
        Always,
        Bev xxxxxxxx

  4. Your story is so true. I’m older now than all your other commenters. I lost my mom when I was just 32 and my little girl was 6; that was 25 years ago, Momma was 57 and didn’t survive open heart surgery; it was a major shock and there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about her in one way or another. Sometimes in crazy laughter over the fun, crazy, loving person she was. Other times the grief of missing her seems all consuming. My daddy passed in 2015 and I’m so thankful for the years I had with him but once again not a day goes by that he’s not on my mind. God got me through the loss and He stays with me when it’s a tearful day. As Laura Story says ” this is not our home.” I will see my momma and daddy again and I look forward to that day and try to get through this world we live in as He wants me to. Thank you for giving me a special reminder of my parents today.

    • Oh what a beautiful song to remember for just these moments. “This is not our home,” indeed. What a blessing, too, to have such wonderful memories of your parents to help you look forward to that day when you’ll see them again!

  5. As always Heather God gives you the message that can bring comfort to so many others! You are truly a channel of blessing!

  6. Sweet Heather, I know God just looks down and praises you for the good things you do to bring others to HIM in such a kind and gentle way. I love your writings and your books are amazing! Love you!

  7. Heather,
    I am a living witness to the truth of this absolutely beautiful refreshing post. I was just marveling over the fact that my mom went home to be with the Lord ten years ago yesterday and at how God held me and my family SO tightly in His loving arms through the grieving season-bringing us out on the other side. We are now able to do ‘fun’ things on the date that she closed her eyes and it is no longer a somber date, but a day of rejoicing as it truly is a ‘see you later’ not a ‘goodbye’ . Thank you so much for sharing how God has and continues to cover you. We, the Body of Christ need to do that for one another so that we can be vessels that God can use for Kingdom work. God continue to bless you, your anointed writing, and your family.

    • I love how you described it as a “see you later” day and not a “goodbye.” What amazing we hope we have because of Christ’s resurrection power! Thank you for sharing!

  8. “He cradles us, He heals our brokenness, and He transforms the ashes we bring Him into a crown of beauty only He could create.” Oh how I love this! Thank you so much for sharing heather! Really blessed my day ❤ happy Saturday! Xoxo

  9. Thank you, Heather. Others don’t understand that grief isn’t just worked through and over, it’s a returning visitor. I deal with this with the death of my son.
    Beautifully written.

    • Oh I cannot imagine the grief of losing a child and surely that is something that you don’t just “get over,” but something you continually give to God. Thank you for sharing that <3

  10. Beautiful post, Heather. The other day, quite by accident? No, Dad would surely call it Providential, I met a lady who had worked with my dad over thirty-five years ago! It was amazing because both of us now live quite a distance from where he lived and they worked. When she shared that with me, tears welled up just behind my eyes. “He’s been with Jesus five years now,” I told her. “I still remember what your dad looked like!” she told me so emphatically. She told me my dad was a good man. “I know he was,” I said, the tears just streaming now. So, yes, at the most unusual times the memories and the grief comes to us over those loved ones we’ve lost. And it’s so okay. I believe these tender times are to remind us of how blessed we are that those folks were part of our lives. God bless you and your writing! You spoke truth to me this morning.

    • What a blessing for you to meet her and be able to remember your dad together! God is so kind to us to give us these sweet reminders of His grace and His presence. Thank you!

  11. Miss Heather,

    The Word is always just what we need; thank you for sharing your heart and Truth. In the past two weeks our community has lost to heaven, a young wife and mother of 5 children (9, 7, 5, 3 years and 3 months of age), her cousin a generous wife and mother of two adolescent boys, and a joy-filled single mother with two adopted teenage sons. Their deaths are mysteries this side of heaven: a simple surgery gone wrong, a spooked horse and a fall, and a heart that could no longer beat. We are weeping with one another, but God will exchange…

    “beauty for ashes,
    the oil of joy for morning,
    a garment of praise
    for the spirit of heaviness.”

    We will weep, laugh, mourn, and dance in different rhythms, at various times, throughout the seasons of life on earth. Our “whys” may be unanswered, but the Truth will be unchanged. We have these compassionate, vulnerable hearts to minister to one another.

    Blessings and grace to you as you weep, laugh, mourn and dance until the day when every tear is wiped away!

    • Oh Joyce, I am praying for your community right now as they grieve the loss of these women. What sadness and grief we carry this side of heaven, but what hope we have in Jesus that He does not abandon us in our sorrow.

  12. Heather,
    I know what you mean. I have good days and bad days when I deal with my husband’s death, it’s only been 5 months since he went to be with the Lord. I just remember to give my grief to the Lord and he will give me strength.
    Mary

    • Mary, I’m so very sorry about the loss of your husband. I’m sure there are good days and bad days, good moments and bad moments as you miss him. You are so wise to keep coming to Jesus with your grief and seeking His strength.

    • Mary,

      Praying for you during this time of grieve and sorrow. May God comfort you and give you the strength to carry on. Don’t forget the memories you shared with him. Treasure the time God allowed you both to have.

      (((((Hugs)))))

  13. Heather your post touched me deeply. thank-you. I am deeply sorry for your loss, and for all that are experiencing their own grief.

    Have a blessed day,

    Penny

  14. Grief can be a terrible thing, I have seen it literally destroy people. It is good to remember or cry if necessary, and keep the good memories alive. Jesus is the best example of compassion, and thank you, I did not know Nain means beauty.

    • He is definitely the best example of compassion. It makes me “Fall in love with Jesus” all over again just thinking about that! Thanks for sharing!

  15. I’m sorry for your loss. I have no doubt your dad would be very proud of this post. You did a beautiful job here. Thank you for sharing your heart.

  16. “’Better to have those memories that stir up grief than to forget completely.’ So I’ve begun to embrace memories with sadness as a chance to give thanks for God’s past gifts and to anticipate His work now and in the future.” Such wisdom in those words, Heather! To turn sadness into praise–now that is indeed a miraculous gift from our Heavenly Father. Thank you for sharing your grief over the death of your dear dad, and your faith-response that strengthens you through it. The comfort you have given will undoubtedly overflow into many other lives (2 Cor. 1:3-5).

    • I’m so thankful that God designed us for community so that we could walk with each other and encourage one another with what we’ve learned along the way. Thank you for your sweet comment. It is indeed a miracle of God how He transforms our despair into praise. I love those verses in 2 Corinthians, too!

  17. The words of your friend really spoke to me- that it is better to have the memories triggered than it is to forget altogether- I’ve suffered a lot of losses in life. The first being my dad when I was 7. I did forget . I buried all the memories and never dealt with the grief. Now in my 30s I try to go back to remember but it is hard to find the memories that have been buried so long. Then five years ago my brother who was my best friend walked away from the family- completely cut us off- no contact for five years. No response to emails and snail mail gets returned to sender. It is so painful. I want to forget but every memory of childhood is of us together. And the grief still comes over me.

  18. Heather,

    God bless you for sharing your story. I have always said it is important to keep the memories alive. Just a mere 11 days ago my dad passed away. Grief did not set in immediately when I got the news. I was focused on who to call and what all had to be done. For me it was a little bit of a relief. His quality of life was going down hill. He was now in the arms of Almighty God and with mom who passed roughly 8 years prior. I have my moments when grief hits me. Some days will be harder than others. I took care of my dad for the last 3 years. I even quit a full-time job to be more available for him. Holidays will be the worst. I have been listening to Christian music-Stephen C. Chapman & Avalon-& singing loudly praising God to help alleviate any grief. Thankful for the time I had to care for him.

    Blessings 🙂

  19. Heather thank you for the link to this page on your wordpress. It is good to find people who know the importance of the need for encouragement. I like how you write (in)courage. I pray you much success in this.