I remember hearing when I was pregnant that having children is like allowing little pieces of your heart to wander around outside your body. As I stood in the shower in the aftermath of a terrifying day, that sentiment had never felt truer.
Hours earlier I had looked down at my 9-year-old son on an emergency room table. He had been attacked by a neighbor’s dog, and a chunk of his right side was missing. My son was in shock, traumatized by the attack, and panicked at the thought of stitches. When I looked into his eyes and recognized his terror and panic, I would have given anything to take his place.
As I cried, I counted all the blessings we’d received in the midst of it – that the bite wasn’t worse, that the wait in the ER wasn’t long, that the staff had been skilled and kind. I thanked God over and over, but my mind kept flashing back to that moment of desperately wanting to trade places with my son.
I would have felt grateful to let the emergency room professionals stick me with needles, to bear the fear of having the wound washed, and for it to have been my flesh being sewn back together. I would have been grateful to bear those terrible things to make my son whole again, and to be honest, the intensity of that love surprised me.
Then I heard God whisper into my heart, “Why does that seem so surprising? It’s the way I love you, too. Don’t you remember?”
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16)
If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! (Matthew 7:11)
Then I remembered how our Father loves us so dearly that He came to us clothed in the flawed and messy human condition only to endure pain, suffering, demoralization, and death. He endured these things to make each one of His children whole again.
I love my son enough to have wanted his place on that emergency room table, but Jesus loves us so much bigger and better than that. When we’re broken and hurting, Jesus sees our terror and panic. He took our place on the cross willingly. Then He rose on the third day, so that everything broken and hurting in this world will one day be made whole.
Just as God was at work on mankind’s redemption in the midst of mankind’s greatest evil at the cross, He is working to make the world whole again in every moment of our lives. Even – maybe especially – the moments full of evil, fear, pain, and suffering. Though I would never “trade” my son’s emergency room experience to better understand God’s love, I do want to watch for those things that man (or sometimes dog) meant for evil, but God is using for good.
He is constantly at work putting our broken world back together, and I don’t want to overlook any of it.
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Kate,
Your story/experience makes me thing that no matter how much we love, protect, and would trade places in a minute with our hurting children, God still loves us more. Being a mom gives us glimpses of the unfathomable love God has for us, yet we miss it so many times during the day. Like you said, as the world is tearing itself apart, God is still picking up the pieces and making things…people whole again. He bring beauty from ashes that is awe inspiring. He would be denying Himself if He wasn’t continually transforming and making all things new – it’s in His very nature. May He give us eyes to see it all around us and the presence of mind not to miss His hand at work. Your post touched my heart….you’re a good momma!
Blessings,
Bev xx
Amen, Bev, thank you so much!
WOW, thank you for these truths and for capturing the rawness and depth of God’s love for us. Especially at Easter, it’s amazing to think of how Jesus’s sacrifice changed EVERYTHING. I imagine how confused and hopeless the disciples felt “losing Jesus” while realizing later, what they and the whole world gained from God’s plan.
Light overcomes darkness, good overcomes evil. We have to hold onto these truths and remind ourselves of them in the middle of our pain and suffering. God is always with us…loving us more than we can possibly fathom. And good WILL come from our struggles even if we can’t quite see it yet!
Yes – I try to remember even through the darkest of times that we cannot fathom what God has in store. It’s so fun to watch expectantly to see how he brings goodness to every situation. Thank you for your kind words!
Beautifull unconditional Love❤✨
Thank you for sharing this beautifull heartfelt story lots of Blessings and strenght for you and your Son❤
Thank you, Clarita!
Oh, Kate, thank you for taking that truth and bringing it up close to your mumma’s heart.
We call it “substitutionary atonement” and hold it out at arms length to analyze, but you’ve reminded me today that we’re all just like little pieces of God’s heart walking around on this planet, completely surrounded by His sacrificial love.
So, so true. To know that God loves us even bigger and better than we can love our own children is spine-tingling and wonderful. Thank you, Michele.
How wonderful to put it into words! I love my life full of miracles everyday and remembering God sees the big picture! In the midst of unfaithfulness, childhood trauma, chronic illness, child training, grief. …. God is faithful and shows Himself at the center of the storm! We don’t always feel or see Him but as long as we are faithfully serving Him and following His will, He will never leave us! Praise His name! Trust Him, He works EVERYTHING for good. It’s just the challenge to cling to Him through the EVERYTHING and choose to see the good.
Amen!
I understand your feelings. I don’t have children and I’m only guessing that God alone knows why. However, I’d lost 2 nephews whom I loved and spent memorable time with, when they were kids. Losing them and witnessing the pain and suffering my sister-in-law went through, I wished I was in her place instead, it was unbearable. THANK YOU for the beautiful reminder that GOD LOVES US so much more. HE IS GOOD indeed. Shalom!
Thank you for your kind words Serena. Shalom!
Wow this shook me up! I also went through this. The dog bite was in my sons face though , the dog was diseased and it quickly set into my son’s bloodstream. .. Within a few hours, he was all puffed up and starting to stop breathing. Doctors came in and police to tell me my son wasn’t going to make it. The antibiotics were not working. Travis was 6 on his way home from school..the dog had been eating garbage as my son walked past..the dog turned and rushed at him. I wanted to exchange my life for his.
At the moment I was being told , a friend in our church was in for her son visiting and walked past our door and saw me. She stopped, questioned and quickly flew to the phone and put on prayer chain…
Within an hour God did a miracle!! His love came down and touch my son the swelling started to go down. .infection and fever left.
Wow don’t you just love how God works!! How He hears our prayers and his tears of compassion flow for us his children.
This Easter we will again see just how much Jesus is willing to do for us…HIS LIFE a terrible death on the cross.
God adores his children…yes sometimes our prayers aren’t answered the way we think they should be…we must continue to trust!
So thankful your son is here to share Gods power , purpose and Great love .
What a trial! God is good at all times, even when it’s so hard to see. I am so glad your prayers for your son were answered with his recovery. God bless!
It is promising to know that which man (or dog haha) meant for evil God uses for our good. Sure is a win-win isn’t it? I love the way you share God’s whisper to you, with us, in reflecting how much your intense love for your son surprised you and allowed you to have a deeper experience of Jesus’ love. Thank you Kate for sharing God’s goodness to you with us. <3
Thank you, Joy!
Aw thank you for sharing Kate! I hope your sweet little boy is doing better. Prayers for healing coming your way ❤
Many thanks, Stephanie 🙂
This the way to receive healing, both physical and mental, even emotional. We have to realize He really took our place, He suffered because He didn’t want us to or to spend eternity in hell.
Amen! Thank you for reading, Rebecca!
God is teaching me to look for Him and for needs everywhere. Of course I cannot meet all of those needs. My early warning system for deep needs is being upgraded. God does not need a foundation grant to upgrade his people if and when He chooses. I went looking for an apt. God said, listen to the the fear in that eye, the eye of a college student resident in the building I was visiting.
Her cry for help was very silent. She is much like my daughter was 20 years ago. There was a loss. I knew. I asked very peripheral questions for a few years. She recovered. She moved on. My daughter needs me still. The girl who is now a student misses someone, her deceased father, I think. I prayed. I spent hours with her and with her sister and a room mate. I told the girl who was suffering that she did not need to tell me about the pain I knew was there. I prayed. I sent a message about this to my wife. Perhaps she will be touched enough by Jesus that she ( my wife) will come to offer her love in addition to mine to the girl in deep need.
That is what Christians do, the old ones and the ones Jesus has let suffer in the fires of life just long enough. ✝
Kate,
What a way to look at life! I never thought about children, or us, being parts of His heart walking this earth. I don’t like watching people suffer. I wish I could pray their pain away. There were times I cried aloud to God for relief. He heard me and healed my dad. Each Easter driving to church I visualize 3 crosses on top of a mountain. I see Jesus there suffering for me. Some of His last words were “Father forgive them for they know not what they are doing”. Imagine being forgiven for killing someone.
I understand most parents would trade places with their children when they are suffering. Hard to watch loved ones going through any agony and pain. I can’t imagine how the Father must have felt seeing His only son die like that. Perhaps that is why he turned His face away and forsook Him.
Blessings 🙂