About the Author

Doris is the author of Goodbye, Regret: Forgiving Yourself of Past Mistakes. Her passion is sharing God's truth and encouraging women to grow in Christ and bloom in their calling. She reaches out to women through her blog Walking Deeper. Doris currently resides in Florida with her husband Brian.

Related Resources & Gifts
Find more at DaySpring.com
Related
Resources
& Gifts
Find more at
DaySpring.com
Recent Posts

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Doris,
    Ahh yes, the comparison game is always a no win game!! I, too, used to be so critical of my body. Why is it that men look in the mirror and they say, “Hey, I’m lookin’ pretty good.” A woman looks in the mirror and notices every wrinkle, age spot, cellulite colony, etc. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned to change up my focus. Instead of wanting to be thin so I would look good to the world around me, I wanted to be a healthy weight because I realized I was God’s temple and I needed to take better care of myself for Him…not others. As you age, extra weight takes its toll on joints and ligaments and its hard to serve others or simply go out and enjoy the world God created for us if you’re laid up with swollen joints. My weight has and always will be a struggle. But, having my goal be God and what He would want for me has replaced what the world thinks. I know I will never look great in a bathing suit, that’s why I’m so thankful that God looks on the heart not on the hips lol. Learning to live life to an audience on One. Thanks for a timely reminder.
    Blessings,
    Bev xx

    • Thank you for your comments, Bev! So true about changing our direction to a healthy one vs. the whole weight obsession. Yes, glad God does looks upon the lips and not the hips lol! Having an healthy relationship with food and body image gives glory to God, the One who created us. Being a healthy disciple blesses God and others and your goal is right on target.
      Thank you and blessings to you!
      Doris

    • Thank you so much Bev for sharing your perspective on Doris’ story. The LORD and your words encouraged me this morning when I need it.

    • I know that I am guilty of putting myself down because I am not blessed with a Hollywood body. But I forget how awesome God blessed me with many other traits and features and intelligence and Faith above all. I need to remind myself to be more grateful for how,God has blessed me everyday.

      • Theresa,
        Remember, A woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. In God’s economy, beauty is measured on a much different scale. I’d say in God’s eyes and mine….you’re spectacular!!
        Blessings from one non-Hollywood bod to another 🙂
        Bev

      • Theresa,

        In God’s economy He looks on the inside-not the outside. He cares about your heart, soul & mind. There are a lot of us ‘non-Hollywoods” out there. Don’t let the evil one’s lies take hold. You are a beautifully created person – made in the image of Almighty God Himself!

        (((((Hugs)))))

  2. Not in the mood for ice cream? Can we talk? 🙂

    Doris, I do appreciate this boots-on-the-ground example of why I also need to curb my critical tongue. When I fail to be thankful for the “me” God has created, I’m questioning His sovereignty and His wisdom — certainly not something I want to pass along to my children or my grandchildren!

    Blessings to you!

    • I know, right? Who doesn’t love ice cream all.the.time lol? Thanks for your comments today, Michele! It’s so easy to fall into the critical tongue thing, especially about ourselves. You are absolutely right, we are God’s masterpiece and that is an amazing teachable lesson for our children and grandchildren.

      Blessings to you as well!
      Doris

  3. Ugh, this is so ME! I will pride myself for my success if I ate nothing with sugar in it in one set of 24 hours, and feel like a worthless, fat failure by the end of the next day because I ate cake with my coffee. Thankyou so much for this reminder that we are so much more than our bodies, what we eat and what we wear. What we have inside is so precious to our Father in heaven; so much so He fails to see our imperfections in light of His Spirit within us.

    • Glad this message blessed you, Jasmine! I hear you loud and clear. It’s time we all get off that roller coaster of fat failure falsities and grab hold of the truth that sets us free. How deep the Father’s love and how amazing are His plans for us.

      Blessings for this new day,
      Doris

    • Thank you for your kind comment, Tina! Glad you were blessed. Praise our gracious and loving God, that He would put us all together in a safe and caring community of Sisters. 🙂

  4. Finding the balance between taking care of self and being healthy, vs. obsessing can be a challenge! I don’t love my thighs, and usually I’m okay with that. Thank you for the reminder of how my perspective can get too self centered. I hope you get to enjoy some ice cream with that little guy another time!

    • Thank you, Missy! It’s joyful to know we are not alone, not because misery loves company, but because we are in a community of iron sharpeners and encouragers. I like how you said “finding the balance”. It truly is a balance, and with God’s help we can overcome unhealthy and negative thoughts. I’m going to make it a point to have a chocolate ice cream cone with my sweet Jaden next time, or maybe frozen yogurt lol!

  5. Awe in couragement. Why are women putting them self down that there focus is all about them self. Sad to say that they miss the real point. I know of a family member who is dying and her sister is so caught up in herself that she doesn’t see reality. After her sister will be gone it will be to late. I could not believe that a person so caught up in herself can be so cold. Please pray for my sister in law who is weighing only 50 pounds and is dying of cancer that her Owen family up till now would not step in to help and just kept on saying just believe God is your healer. Sad to say if my family would not have stepped in to help her family would not; yet they say they believe in God. I call this a religion and no relationship. Missing the point to aught up in them self. Please pray that God will take her home ;there is nothing left to live.

    • I’m so sorry to hear about your sister in law, Rosa. I will pray. May God use you in a mighty way to be a blessing to her through this difficult time.

  6. I think the important thing is to take the focus of off myself completely and focus on Christ and what He did for me. My body is his temple for Him to be worshiped–in all of my thoughts and all of my actions. I need to focus on living out my love for Him and see those to whom I would want to compare myself through His eyes.

  7. I just read this book titled Compared to Who and it really helped me see that turning more love towards myself doesn’t help me compare less, but there is a way out. While I feel like much of what Doris is saying is true – we must stop comparing ourselves to others, but I don’t think that loving ourselves is the answer. I have no problem loving myself. Honestly I love myself more than I love anyone else. I know I’m not alone because the Bible says so. Mark 12:30-31 doesn’t give instruction on how to love ourselves because we do it so naturally. It’s assumed that we already know how because it’s given as an example for how to treat others. I just think that women need fresher answers on this issue.

    • Thank you for your comments, Christine. So true how we do love ourselves in the way we feed ourselves and see to our essential needs through God’s provision. You’re so right, loving ourselves isn’t the answer and I feel comparison is a distraction from what God truly wants us to see, which is the world, others, and ourselves through His eyes. Although I’d like to think I’m passed falling into the trap of comparison, truth is, sometimes I stumble a bit. Thankfully, I can take those unhealthy, negative thoughts to the Lord. Thank you for sharing biblical truth, it’s where we find answers on this issue and everything else. Blessings to you!

  8. I live in Ga. it’s hot here too. We need to look at hearts, how, by our words and actions, and how they line up with the walk with Christ. As for legs, I’m thankful for them. I have had times when it was hard to walk, after a fall.

    • Thank you, Rebecca, for sharing your thankful heart. I was married in August and we honeymooned in Helen, GA. It sure was hot! Great place and I enjoy visiting Savannah, too (also hot in August 🙂 ). I love that our legs are attached to the feet that bring the Good News. We sure have many things to be thankful for. Blessing to you, Rebecca!

  9. Thank you for this devotion Doris, p
    I’m just thinking that if God intended Hollywood body types to be the ideal, He would have created us ALL that way! Psalm 139 tells us that God created us intentionally in our mother’s womb with an individual plan for His purpose. My mom was 4’11 3/4″ tall, my mother-in-law was 5’10” tall, they had different talents and gifts and looks. They were both wonderful masterpieces of God’s creation. If it’s said beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I’m trying to remember that God Himself is the Beholder! He looked at His creation and said, “It is good.”

    Love and Blessings to All,
    ~Kay Lake

    • Amen, Kay! The world has given us a distorted message of what we’re to look like. We were created for God’s good pleasure and His grace is sufficient. So glad God sees us through His Son and that we can find joy in who we are in Christ. Love and Blessings to you!

  10. Guys, too, Doris. Whether it’s looks, actions, thoughts, decisions, we all… well, most of us probably… criticize ourselves more than we ought. And how can we overlook what we perceive as fault in others if we’re not accepting of our own limitations… our human imperfections?

    But on this ice cream issue… it’s not a matter of “if,” it’s a matter of “how much” or “how many.”

    • Thanks for your input from a guy’s perspective, Dave! I’m with you on the ice cream; I won’t pass it up next time. I’ve been eating healthier since March, cutting out flours and sugar. I think a little ice cream won’t hurt a bit, especially while enjoying time with the grandkids. God bless!

  11. What imperfection obsession can you surrender to God today?

    I’ve obsessed about my face for about 20 years. You see I have rosacea and I blush very easily. In seventh grade I was called,”big red” and it has stuck with me. I often avoid people especially group settings because I fear I will blush and everyone will be staring at me. I am so ready to surrender my imperfect obsession to God today.

    • Thank you for sharing your heart, Andrea. You need only be willing and ready to surrender and God will do the rest. He is compassionate and He is the lifter of our head. Lift your eyes to Him and He will help you. He promises. Hurtful things from our past have a way of sticking with us, but God makes all things new and He peels away those labels when we surrender it all to Him. Blessings to you, dear sister, and may the Lord bless and keep you as you trust in Him.

  12. When I was in jr. high, high school, and through my early/mid 20’s I was anorexic with body dysmorphia. I remember the very moment that food and my body became the enemy in my mind. The distorted mental body image lasted well into my 30’s. That’s a long time to be filled with hate for one’s body. The anorexia turned into something else after I got married and had more children. I could not get the weight off my body not matter how much I starved myself and finally gave up and binge ate, then feeling guilty I would try to starve myself again. I hated myself with a passion. The early years of my marriage were very stressful and heartbreaking with a husband that cycled through binge drinking and drug use. Weight on our bodies is so much more than just about overeating. I know we all know that, but it seems to be something that we overlook in lieu of what the mirror says. This year in October, I will be 40. The deepest desire of my heart has been to walk in the next 40 years free from the spiritual bondages that held me back in the first 40 years. I’ve had to allow God to change my mind so that He could change my heart towards my body. Those changes started very slowly about three years ago. I knew that I needed to love myself and to see myself as God did. Love for ones self does NOT come naturally to some of us. I always found it easier to love others than myself, which is actually a good thing, but unless it is tempered with an understanding of how loved we are by God, can turn into something very unhealthy and unbalanced. Which was true in my case. I can say today, that I am healing. That God is doing a GOOD work in me and that I love who God created me to be. I can see the beauty of those next 40 years unfolding before my eyes as I continue to be Lord led in all of my life. From the inside out. <3

    • Praise the Lord, Michelle! Jesus came to set the captives free and you are free indeed. You have an amazing opportunity to share your story and your struggles to help others. Just tonight in my women’s group, a woman new to the group shared her struggles with anorexia and how she could not even see her body the way it actually looked. I encouraged her that her story can be used to speak truth into others’ lives and God will and I’m sure already has inspired others through your story as well. Sister, thank you for sharing these things to the glory of God. It’s so evident He has made you new and He has made you glad. God bless and shine on!

  13. I can so relate to this! I have been overweight for along time. I always see my friends and I always tell myself if only you could be that thin or if only I knew how to fix my hair better. I have lost some weight but I still beat myself up at how I look to others and why can’t my clothes be like theirs. So I totally understand!

    • Thank you for your honest comments, Gina. I’m glad you could relate and hope you were encouraged to let go of the imperfection obsession. I think it was Theodore Roosevelt who said: “Comparison is the thief of joy” and it surely can be. Thankfully when we have Jesus, His joy is in us that our joy may be full and that’s the kind of full we need. I had an unhealthy relationship with food, in that I would grab the “bad” foods and snack for comfort. It’s only through the Lord that my focus was redirected to healthy eating. God led me to a nutritionist to find out how my metabolism works and how to eat the right foods at the right time of day. It’s made all the difference. I say that to encourage you because what seems like a losing battle can turn around with God’s help one step at a time. The flesh is weak but when we are weak we are strong in Him. Blessings to you, Gina and keep trusting God with it all and talk to Him about your struggles. Psalm 37:4 says, “Take delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Not necessarily to be thin but to be healthy and with that will come a healthy weight that feels comfortable. I’ve found it’s not about feeling comfortable in our clothes but being comfortable in our skin. We are a new creation in Christ. Thank you for being real and sharing your heart today.

    • Gina,

      Don’t beat yourself up! Remember God loves you as you are! He sees a beautifully created masterpiece in the image of Almighty God. Good for you for losing weight-just do it for the right reasons. God looks more on the inside than the outside. Just be yourself and people will love you!

      (((((Hugs)))))

  14. Coming to know we are deeply loved by the one who made us and then learn to lavish that same love on ourselves is life changing.

    I used to have eating disorders and be afraid of food. I used to think I was fat when I was not. I used to think everyone was better than me. I used to think the love of God for me was diminished when I failed.

    I have learned otherwise and finally believe the love God has for me. This has empowered me to love Him and love others much more freely. (And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him. 1 John 4:16)

    Like you said, Doris, He has already made us perfect. We just need to see ourselves through His eyes. We are deeply loved!

    • Amen, Danielle! Thank you for sharing how God’s love has been life-changing and literally life-saving for you. We sure can use false measuring sticks to gauge God’s love, but thankfully the truth as you have found, is that His love is unconditionally and unending. Praising God for your deliverance and freedom in Christ. Yes, we are deeply loved! Blessings!

  15. My friend Doris I have loved you for just who you are, you were my mentor for a lot of years and a friend who was always there for me. You always gave me hope at work and you have the most beautiful heart we all loved you at the bank. I still have customers who talk about you and miss seeing you. You are a very special lady. Your body is just fine and you are so beautiful inside and out. I remember I have had a weight problem all my life. I have worked so hard to be thinner, but now I have come to the realization that I just need to do what I can do to treat my body as a temple God’s temple. I have walked with God all my life or should I say God has walked with me all my life. He supported me even when I was not worthy of His love and kindness. I am so blessed to know that no matter what I look like, no matter what I weigh I am God’s child He created me for His purpose and has brought me through so many trials. I love you dear Doris and will always be here for you. I had self hate for so many years and never liked what I saw in the mirror but I had to look deeper in that mirror to my soul and then I realized I am beautiful. You are beautiful too Much love friend,

    • Thank you, Debbie, you have been an inspiration with your fitness and health journey. I am blessed by your kind words and friendship. I am so glad to submit everything to God because He is sufficient. Love you too!

  16. Thank you for sharing this. Talking about the struggle we all face inside as women in our culture can help us bring the lies into the light. I think many of us equate being thin with being happy, thus thinking when we are happy, we can have the life we’ve always wanted, unlimited ice cream included. But I don’t think that the answer is to love your body more. We have to get deeper than that to experience true healing. Whether I have been at my heaviest or thinnest, I have never loved my body. I can always find something to focus on, whether it is my thighs or under-eye circles or whatnot. At my thinnest, I thought all of my problems would be solved, I would be happy and loved, and I could eat whatever I wanted. One and two never came true, and eating whatever I wanted got me back to my heaviest and the cycle goes on. How do we get out of this trap? How do we stop the endless cycle? How do we get to the real root of the issue? I’m a contributor at the blog, Compared to Who?, and we wrestle with finding our true value inside Christ alone, rejecting culture’s, family’s, and our own standards when it comes to body image, trying to measure up to have value. I agree with the others that the focus should be on Jesus and we have to ask him to shatter this beauty idol of ours, otherwise our true purpose in Christ is hindered by our self-focus, whether it is a perceived lack of something or trying to love ourselves more. Thank you again for this post and sharing your experience!

    • Thank you, Kristin! Your words are beautiful. I hope I didn’t give the impression that the answer is to love ourselves more, because my heart was to share what we struggle with as women and the true answer and deliverance from the comparison game and self-focus is Jesus. We are transformed by the renewing of our minds through the Word and we are all beautiful in God’s sight and He delights in us through Christ. I love to encourage women to walk deeper in faith and in the Word through my blog Walking Deeper. I would love to read your writings on Compared to Who? I’m going to check that out! God bless and thank you, Sister!

  17. Doris,

    Off and on for years I have believed the lies-“not good enough, smart enough, Etc.) Now I understand that God looks more on the inside of us than the outside. At 52 will try to lose weight to get healthy & be productive for Jesus. God wants us to be more like the Proverbs 31 woman -industrious, hard working & caring for others & family.

    Blessings 🙂

    • Awesome, Beth! I so agree, we need to stay healthy for the Lord so we can run the race set before us and do what God calls us to do. When we put Him first above all else, all else will fall into place. Blessings to you as well! 🙂

  18. Thank you Doris for this blog post. These words, “We have a purpose and we have a calling and we can’t walk in any of it if we can’t see beyond the mirror,” are exactly what God has been speaking to me. Like some if the women commenting earlier I am in the recovery process from an eating disorder. And comparisons always trip me up. I love this quote from Theodore Roosevelt, “comparisons are the thief of joy.” I long to be outward focused instead of inner focused. When I am comparing myself or my body to others, I am not seeing what God has for me or how he wants me to love & bless others. I miss opportunities to be His light.

    • Thank you, TC, for your beautiful and sincere comments. I’m so glad these words blessed you and confirmed what God has been speaking to your heart. In a blog post I wrote a while back, I encouraged women not to compare themselves to others, but rather compare the old self to the new self and see how far they’ve come through God’s great mercy and grace. It takes spending time with Him, trusting, and surrendering totally to Him daily. It sure is a daily walk of faith and submission! Only with God’s help and guidance can we be transformed by the renewing of our mind through His Word and love. He is faithful to complete the good work He began in you, TC. Keep walking in victory in Jesus and God bless you as you shine His light for the world to see. Your story can be used for God’s glory.